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Originally Posted by Aerii
*snip*
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Okay, (almost) everything you listed is fixed. I'll work out the kinks on the long lines at another point, and there were one or two of your grammar points I didn't agree with (damned if I can remember what they were, though). I did add a really simplistic conditional in Day 1 for the "horrific ordeal" line, which changes the line to
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"After that horrific ordeal at breakfast and enduring Itsuko's teasing, I came to class only to be greeted by an over-energetic Haruki, whose enthusiasm is (as always) only exceeded by his complete stupidity."
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if you walked up the hill with Itsuko in the previous scene. And yes, I am accepting suggestions on a better version for that.
Oh, and let is a synonym for rent/lease. It's more common in British English than American, though, so which we want to use is up in the air.