Many thanks for the honest criticism and opinion, zebra^^ I don't have time to expand upon your opinion at the moment, but I do appreciate it. I like your take on the story and as you said, there are many ways to view a story.
I'd like to remind everyone that by the 14th, you need to revise your entry (should you wish to) and write "Final Entry" on it. I'll be doing so for my entry this afternoon.