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Old 2009-01-04, 22:46   Link #3107
Hari Michiru
Insane Fangirl
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Home of the 2010 Olympics
Time for me to edit again

Spoiler for chapter 3:

You made the same mistakes as you did last chapter .

Can I ask you one thing: is English your native language? If it isn't, I'll forgive you slightly .

You should try to run your story through a spell checker and check on the grammar before posting it anywhere. I really wanted to review on the conceptual side of your story, but my spelling+grammer nazi side is too mad from editing .
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