Quote:
Originally Posted by Hagoshod
I tried to rewrite the first couple of paragraphs so we see more of Lisbeth's thought processes and her Kirito babbling at the end of the chapter doesn't seem so wtf out of nowhere.
Is it an improvement? Should I go back to the original version?
??
|
I suggest you rewatch/read Mirai Nikki all over again...
You might get more inspiration out of that anime/manga...
I'm doing the same on my Accel World/Kore wa Zombie crossover...
And I might consider doing a SAO x Kore wa Zombie crossover where Aikawa Ayumu plays the game and get's in all sort of trouble because... he cant die despite having a 0HP bar...