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Old 2010-06-22, 19:59   Link #3888
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 30
Originally Posted by Ledgem View Post
Saintess, I think you're certainly a unique guy. You have good intent and some interesting views, yet it seems like you're often misunderstood. Perhaps partly as a result, I often notice that you try to polarize yourself in terms of society - people are either "unoriginal," "scum of society," or "people with problems who happen to be geniuses." It almost seems like you're trying to compensate for not having any solid friendships by claiming that those bad friends are at fault (because they're bad people) and/or that you're so brilliant that few can keep up with you.

Based on your post one above the one I quoted, you've devised a method of annoying people and completely turning them off to you, yet justify it by claiming that it's some sort of test to determine whether someone could really be friends with you. I suppose that it's easier to claim that people couldn't handle your test and thus that they weren't worth being friends with, than to accept that someone may not have liked you (which is bound to happen - no one can be liked by everyone).

I don't think you're happy. Some people are perfectly happy when they have few social connections, but you rail against others and society too much for me to believe that you're content. Given that you do enjoy meeting new people, I think you'd be happier with some stable social links. There's no over-night change you can make, but try to be less judgmental of others, more accepting of the fact that you're probably more similar to others than you think (and that it's OK to be that way), and have a bit less feelings of superiority over others. The feelings of superiority seem to be a "security blanket" that's put up to prevent your self-confidence from being damaged by a lack of a strong social network, yet those feelings will also make it difficult for you to connect with other people.

Just my opinion. I know you didn't ask for it and it may not sound nice, but as I see it you're currently in a rut. The ensuing thoughts and feelings of being in the rut will only serve to keep you down.
"Scum of society" is DIRECTLY quoted off the mouths of a teacher, a counselor and a parent. I didn't judge them myself.

I do understand the point that I am similar to everyone else on the planet and society, however I always enforce upon myself something called the benefit of doubt : I like to look at people past their facades, and most of the times it yields disgusting stuff I wouldn't like to see. What I am actually pissed about is people's refusal to get out of their comfort zone : they fear bad things happen.

I am a supporter of euthanasia and eugenics. For the former, I seen my grandfather lie on his bed with stroke for 2 whole years, and at the end of his road, I told my relatives that he is not going to live past March, because his wounds and abrasions are not healing - a sign that his blood cells and bone marrow are weakened severely. Was scolded, blah blah blah, and that old man died the next day. That is when I lose my relatives' support and they started hating me.

And on multiple accounts, I told my friends that certain things won't work out, they never listened. When it didn't work out and the causes are what I expected to be, they blame me for not helping avert the disaster (how the heck can I do that when I don't even have power to stop the student council from implementing that idea?).

I have this uncanny ability of predicting bad shit happening most of the time, some of which I am wrong. That is why people brand me as negative when I say it out loud. What actually annoys me is that the blame always level on me when things go wrong.

Regarding railing against society and such, it is because I live in a place too small to be alone. Those people I have been have started demonising me because I have been a hikki for the past few months and had started to enjoy being alone. The smear campaign went a little too far and I had a pretty messed up social life right now, which made me start questioning the friends I have around me. It is either I throw the whole pie out of the window or salvage what I can eat. I am not ready to do the former as of now.

Now what I am questioning is the cliches of these words, namely

1. Reality
2. Maturity
3. Morality

I have seen them being used too often, way too often by people to justify their actions or something they do that rips off others to benefit themselves. For example, this guy tries to wheedle people out of free meals and claim behind their backs that it is "reality", but on the other hand question the "morality" of someone else who borrows money from them and don't return. Then when I tell him that about his hypocrisy, he says that I made an "immature" statement. So what now?

My current standard for friendship is honesty and well-read. It may be too high a standard, however I am not lowering that anymore - it gets tiring dealing with people who smile and laugh in front of you like a con-artist or refuse to listen to impending doom.

A person's outlook on life isn't inborn - it is cultivated by what he/she has been through. I don't understand why so many counselors (other than one) I have been through tell me the same thing that bears no logic : you can change your outlook of life by living differently - although it is right to adapt to society, it isn't to put up a facade just to get accepted by the people around you.

P.S I support Eugenics because of what I have been through : nobody should be branded as a weirdo just because he has a damaged brain which puts down his comprehensive ability. And why euthanasia too? If it can't be treated at the fetal state, it should have been put out so it doesn't have to go through 20+ years of emotional torture of being branded as weird.

When three puppygirls named after pastries are on top of each other, it is called Eclair a'la menthe et Biscotti aux fraises avec beaucoup de Ricotta sur le dessus.
Most of all, you have to be disciplined and you have to save, even if you hate our current financial system. Because if you don't save, then you're guaranteed to end up with nothing.
SaintessHeart is offline   Reply With Quote