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Old 2004-12-27, 01:59   Link #164
Zap
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kempis Curious
I wanna hear some more successful love stories.
I'm marrying her in May. Is that enough of a successful love story for ya?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roots
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadowlord
I seem to be the only lovesless loser who has never had a girlfriend.
You're not alone. I turn 22 tomorrow and I've never had a girlfriend. How old are you? When I was younger, say between 15-19, I used to constantly be about not having a girlfriend. But I've gotten used to being alone now and I don't think about it that much anymore. Rather than spending my time aggressively trying to find love, I'm just going to be patient and let it happen naturally. Just find something in your life that you enjoy doing and focus on it and the pain will gradually go away
Guys, don't sweat it. There's nothing wrong with you that getting laid won't fix. Er, ahem, wrong forum... uh, where were we... Don't matter if you think you are old and have never had a girlfriend. There is no rule that says "no GF by age 20 = loser." Do a bit of what Roots said, let it happen naturally, don't focus on it and do stuff you find enjoyable. However, I do suggest all you "never had GF" guys be a bit more proactive. This doesn't mean hanging out at singles bars and reading singles ads. Get out of the house. Unless you find someone online, you can't meet anyone if you don't leave your house. Find things to do which you like and that involve other people. Join in church activities if you are religious (church people are always trying to hook up single members). Take some fun classes at local community colleges. Take dance classes (I made tons of friends in ballroom and C/W dance classes). Do some volunteer work. Whatever it is just make sure it gets you out of the house, is something you enjoy doing and is something done with a group of people.

DO:
- have good hygene. This doesn't mean slather yourself with colone. Just make sure you bathe regularly and brush your teeth. Make sure your laundry gets done. Simple
- not lie. If conversation borders on stuff you don't want to disclose immediately, try changing the subject. If all else fails, truthfully say you aren't comfortable talking about it at this time. Be yourself.
- have a positive outlook. Nobody looks for gloomy people to be friends with. Don't lie about how you feel, just talk about other stuff.
- not ask someone out cold. This means don't walk up to someone and ask them out for a date. This may work on TV and it may work to get a one night stand, but it basically sets you up for failure.
- believe in the maxim "if you don't at first succeed, try, try again."
- not get hung up on trying to date one specific person. Worst thing you can do.
- not be desparate. Women can sense desparation in guys like stink on shit. If you feel desparate, you act desparate. If you act desparate, you've just taken yourself out of the dating pool.
- make friends. Make as many friends as possible, of either gender, of any age. Sometimes events or activities are easier to go to with a friend, meaning you'll go out more often. Friends have other friends. Some of those friends may be women. Some of those women may be single.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arwyn
3) You are NOT going to change people. If your going into a relationship thinking "if I could just change these few things, they would be perfect" then your doomed to failure. If you cant accept the good and bad points in a person, get over it an move on, otherwise your just going to make both of you miserable.

5) Dont sweat the small stuff. People aint mind readers, so getting bent over small trivial stuff isnt worth ruining a relationship over.
I like these two. Very good truisms. Some thoughts...

3) Something my mom told me, a story of someone she knew who was complaining about her husband going fishing all the time. That woman was asked if her husband used to go fishing before he met her. She said yes. She was then asked why she expected him to stop fishing even though she knew he enjoyed it prior to them meeting. She didn't have an answer for that.

5) Not getting bent out of shape over small stuff is good, but even better is to not have the small stuff happening. People play games. Oh, they won't say they're playing games but they do, and that can create problems. Example: My former GF (now fiancee) used to not tell me what she wanted. For instance, I'd suggest eating out at whatever place and she would not tell me that she really wanted to go to a different place. Then she would get upset at me for "not noticing." She hardly does that nowadays. Hmmm, guess people can be changed after all.
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