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Old 2009-01-03, 14:24   Link #3088
hell88
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Canada, but sometimes in La La-Land hanging out with Midori-chan89
Age: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterJB View Post
well, this is probrably the smallest chapter I ever wrote but like I said, i'm trying to put only one plot on one chapter. Well, I hope you enjoy it.
Spoiler for chapter 2:
I like this one, the talk between Darkhenus and is father was very dark I should say.

Although I felt this chapter ruined the flow of the story, I think that it should have been the first chapter because of how the story before ended. The last chapter you put up should have been this one instead. I find that you do that a lot with your fic and it makes it difficult to read. Instead of going back and forth with your chapters, like writing about one thing then writing about something else in the next chapter, then going back to writing what you were writing before in the chapter before that makes it hard to fallow and it gets hard to remember whats going on. What I am saying is try to write about one thing at a time in your story to make the flow of the story easier to fallow.
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