[shelter]

@Cake-Kun:

Good effort! A romance short story tinged with a bit of sadness, and then a kind of bittersweet ending... Not my kind of story, but it was worth the read

You need some work on your grammar & tenses, though. It slips in & out of past & present tense, which is confusing to any reader. If you're going to write another story or continue with this one, just keep everything in the past tense. It's easier to handle & easier for the reader to follow too.

Also, other more specific comments on the story:

Spoiler for More Comments:

I try my best not to be too picky when it comes to what happens in a story, but I felt that the timing for Rita's final breath was a bit too convenient? Understood she's saving for her meeting with Paul, but - well - perhaps your intention of allowing her to finally pass on in Paul's arms is there.

Lastly, this phrase caught my attention -

"Yes. I'm going to accept it like this, like a gift came from someone. Fate is unchangeable, no one can oppose it, no one can fight it, but everybody has to accept it, even though it's hard. So, i'll answer yes. I'll accept it, and i accepted it before. I accepted the fact that i'll die."

Philosophical? Your take on life? A bit ironic, I felt: for someone willing to struggle against her fate & wait till she sees Paul before she dies, Rita is doing the exact opposite of what she accepts.

But I think I'm reading too deep into it Don't take it too seriously.

Again, good story.