I just thought of a new theory regarding the 11/13 characters needed in the middle part of the epitaph, not sure whether has this been discussed already.
There is quite a frequent mention of the phrase : "愛がなければ視えない", which in romaji is "Ai ga nakereba mienai". Ain't "a", "i", "ga", "na", "ke", "re", "ba", "mi", "e", "na", "i" 11 characters? There has got to be a reason why this phrased is mentioned so frequently
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