Backbone - Somebody might have already mentioned this in this thread, and I just didn't notice it, but you really should check out
Sword Art Online.
Kirito is basically
exactly the guy you've been looking for, dude.
By extension, maybe you have a point, Backbone, given Sword Art Online's popularity. Maybe there's a real hunger out there for a harem anime male lead that's genuinely cool and/or badass.