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Old 2012-07-08, 16:00   Link #6
Orthodox Haruhiist
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Making metal ... for fish
Age: 38
In this episode of Hyouka!

I don't understand anything being said, not being able to speak more than 20 words of Japanese at once. So I'll just make up a plotline and put it here.

... of course I know that's how I usually write reviews! This is gonna be different! At least my reviews usually have something to do with the actual plot. I have no idea what's going on, and my usual source for speedsubs doesn't seem to have done anything with this episode yet!

... Okay, now that I've taken my meds ...

So, Houtarou's hot sister, Chuck NorrisTomoei comes home. I'm not really sure what happens, except that, apparently, she disapproves of him bumming around the house all summer and tells him to "get a job, you bum!" One of which, she seems to have already lined up for him ... lifeguard at the local waterpark.

The rest of the Mystery Gang turn up at the waterpark, and there's fanservice for all. Apparently, there's a game of pool volleyball played to see who gets to go torment the lifeguard. Satoshi totally trolls Chitanda into losing, so she gets to torment Oreki.

Afterwards, there's lunch, where Chitanda plays a game of "get Oreki to speak in words of more than one syllable," which she fails at, miserably.

Later on, Oreki is fired for boozing it up on the job, which leaves him free for the Mystery Gang to go rope him into solving some manner of mystery. Naturally, he doesn't want to do it, so Chitanda goes all HYPNOTOAD THE POWER OF BOOBS COMPELS YOU! on Oreki. So, Oreki goes off and interviews one of his former co-workers (and boy does Mayaka look all dere-dere here.)

This leads to Oreki in swimming trunks. They're looking for something, and Satoshi first tries to get Emo McMopeypants to take charge. When that fails, he orders them all to split up. He then says something that, I assume, is profound to Oreki.

And then, we see Oreki go all badass Navy SEAL on us. He prowls underwater set to music that makes it clear that he personally cut the throats of at least five or six bad guys with the knife he's got hidden in his swim trunks. He finds an earring in the pool. The rest of the Mystery Gang, save Mayaka, ends up looking like idiots.

Makaka has some sort of heart-to-heart with Oreki, and then the Mystery Gang reconvenes. Apparently, they were looking for the earring, but the mystery becomes why did it fall off in the first place. Oreki wants Mayaka and Satoshi to cosplay as a mother and child, but Mayaka gets all hot under the collar and we have Chitanda hefting Mayaka instead (and wow, didn't know Chitanda was so strong.)

Oreki then watches baby Jabba the Hutt and concludes that Jabba must've loosened his mother's earring, so it fell off in the pool. Afterwards, Mayaka drags Satoshi off for some reason, leaving Oreki and Chitanda to have a few awkward moments together before a lifeguard tells Oreki that he's been re-hired, and he should get his lazy ass back to work.

It was all very amusing, and I'm sure the level of entertainment can only grow whenever it is that this episode gets subbed.

Seven badass commando Orekis out of ten.
Go into the water. Live there. Die there.
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