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The National Rifle Association says that "Guns don't kill people, people do." But I think the gun helps. - Eddie Izzard
Do you think Jesus ever wants to see a cross when he comes back? That'd be like walking up to Jacqueline Onassis with a rifle pendant on; "Just thinkin' of John, Jackie, just thinkin' of John." - Bill Hicks
Thus it is that in war the victorious strategist only seeks battle after the victory has been won, whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights and afterwards looks for victory. - Sun Tzu
I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies - From Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of Pick-up Lines
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