[Keroko]

Originally Posted by tshouryuu

Hiya everyone. Here is another episode of "My name is An Hero Tais" It should be a bit funnier than the last one but you know what my sense of humor is like.

Spoiler for The doctor can be embarrassing or Dodging the bullet:

~Log Number #748 : The power of the DRINK~
By Yui

I swear, Tais syndrome must be contagious. After that last fiasco at RF6, we got subjected to a lot of tests at the hands of the guys at the CSDB. After Director Tsuzuki's latest attempt to switch us around again, involving a giant needle, an equally large data probe, some sort of weird powder and liquid that he got from Urudo, Doctor Ritsuko decided to take pity on us and allowed Tais to have the night off. Grabbing me on his way out, Tais headed straight to the safest place he knew of. The pub where he first met Zest. However, Doctor Ritsuko intercepted us for a moment.

*play video file*

Ritsuko: Tais, hold on a minute. There is a video message and package for you.
Tais: Huh? I wonder who could it be from.

(Tais opens the package and inside is a small container containing some sort of liquid.)

Tais: What's this?
Yui: Why don't you play the message and find out.
Ritsuko: I better be getting back to work. Have fun you two.

(Ritsuko reenters the CSDB while Tais plays the message)

Hayate: Hello Corporal Scien.
Tais: Holy S*******! Its Lieutenant Colonel Yagami!!
Hayate: I'd like to apologize for the beating and castration attempts. After having some time to calm down, I came to the realization that that incident wasn't your fault. I hope you would accept my apology as well as the get well gift. In case you're wondering, its a special health drink I managed to obtain from a friend. Enforcer Testarossa really loves the taste of it and I hope you'll try it.

Tais: ...
Yui: ...
Tais: Wow! she's so nice! Not only does she forgives me and she even gives me a get well gift!
Yui: I don't know... She seems to have a evil gleam in her eyes.
Tais: You're worrying too much. She's a nice person.
Yui: Anyway, save the drink for later. Didn't you say you wanted to go to the pub?
Tais: Oh ya! (keeps the Drink in a side pouch)

*end video file*

I didn't know it at that time but I managed to save Tais from a horrible fate. Anyway, Upon reaching the pub, the owner told Tais that a pretty lady has been appearing for the past few night and seems to be looking for him. Since the lady wasn't around, Tais ordered a beer and promptly forgot about it. As luck would have it, the Lady soon appeared.

*play video file*

???: Excuse me but are you Tais Scien? Zest's friend?
Tais: Yes and you are?
Uno: Forgive me, my name is Uno and Lu...
Tais: Wow. Lu-chan's mama sure is pretty. I wonder how Zest managed to get a wife as hot as her. Luckily Lu-chan takes after her mom instead of him.
Uno: (enraged) I'm not Ojou-sama's mother and I'm definitely not that muscle brain idiot's wife!!
Tais: Huh? how do you know what I was thinking?

*pause video file*

The woman Uno looks like she's about to strangle Tais but luckily the pub owner managed to calm her down. She relax somewhat and regain her composure. She was about to speak again but Tais suddenly jumped up and announced that he's buying everyone a beer. Amidst the cheers, Tais raised his mug and said...

*play video file*

Tais: Everyone! I would like to propose a toast to my friend Zest, the man who created history!
Everyone: To Zest, man who created history!!
Tais: Again, a toast to Zest! New Champion of The Man Festival!! Howl!!
Everyone: To Zest, New Champion of The Man Festival!! Howl! Howl! Howl!!

*end video file*

I wonder if Tais planned it but the spit take from Uno was amazing. Then again, this is Tais we're talking about so it must be just blind luck. At any rate, after she recovered, she dragged Tais out of the pub. Judging from the amount of cat calls, wolf whistles and suggestive comments, I guess they all thought Tais got lucky. Poor Uno turn rather red that persisted even after we met up with Lu-chan.

As it turns out, its seems like Lu-chan is happy that Tais managed to 'straighten' Zest out. At least I think she's happy. Its rather hard to tell since her expression doesn't change much and due to this, she asks Tais to help someone she calls the Doctor. Like the idiot he is, Tais immediately agreed to help without even knowing what the problem was.

*play video file*

Lutecia: The doctor seems to have a few 'unhealthy' habits. I hope you have a way to help him since you managed to help Zest. Uno is unable to do anything about it when I asked her to.
Uno: Ojou-sama, those were impossible requests.
Lutecia: But he is able to do something about Zest's problem.
Uno: I... I'm sorry ojou-sama for my incompetence.
Lutecia: (turning to Face Tais) Can you help the doctor, Tais?
Tais: I don't know... I mean I'm not sure what I can do to help. Your description about his problem is so vague... 'unhealthy habits'? Wait! I got it. (gets the Drink out from his side pouch)

Uno: What is that?
Tais: This? Its a health drink. It should help the doctor. The person who gave it to me said its special.
Uno: It looks rather...
Lutecia: Uno, please take it to the doctor now.
Uno: Ojou-sama! Are you sure?
Lutecia: Garyuu and Tais is with me. You don't have to worry.
Tais: Don't worry Miss Uno, I'll look after her.
Uno: That's not what I meant.
Lutecia: Uno...
Uno: Hai Ojou-sama, I'll be leaving now. (looking at Tais) You better take care of Ojou-sama or else.

*end video file*

After she left, Tais decide to entertain Lu-chan with stories about his misadventures since the silence was getting to him. Halfway through his narration about that sick festival, we were thankfully interrupted by a call. Seems like it was from the doctor Lu-chan mentioned just now.

*play video file*

Lutecia: Good day Doctor.
Jail: Ah... good day sweet Lu... Who is that behind you? Can he be trusted?
Tais: Oh so this is the doctor you're talking about. Wow he's pretty pale and skinny. No wonder you said he's unhealthy.
Lutecia: He's a friend of Zest. He doesn't know anything about us.
Jail: Hmm... so anyway, What is this thing Uno just brought?
Lutecia: Its... (gets interrupted by Tais)
Tais: Its a special health drink. It was an apology gift but since Lu-chan asks me to help, I decide to give it to you instead. You seem to need it more anyway. I heard that Enforcer Testarossa likes it.
Jail: Oh? Enforcer Testarossa as in Enforcer Fate Testarossa Harlaown? And you say she likes it? Hmm...
Tais: Yup.
Jail: Very well, thank you for the gift. Is there anything else?
Lutecia: Are you not going to drink it, Doctor?
Jail: Now? (shrugs) Very well.

(Opening the container, Scaglietti just drinks it down in one shot.)

Jail: Hmm... I see why she likes it. Interesting taste. (Fans himself)
Uno: Doctor, are you ok? You look rather flush.
Jail: I do feel a little hot. (Loosens his tie)

(Sound of people approaching)

???: Hey, Ojou-sama is on the line. And Uno is here!!
???: Sein, control yourself.
Sein: Hai hai, Trei nee-sama.
Lutecia: Good day Trei, Quatro, Sein, Nove, Dieci.
Quatro: Ojou-sama, where are you, who is that and why is Uno here instead of with you?
Tais: You have alot friends Lu-chan. Hi, I'm Tais!
Lutecia: (Ignoring Tais) I asked Uno to deliver something to the Doctor.

Trei: Do you need me to go over Ojou-sama? I can get there within...
Trei: (turning to face the doctor) Doctor, why are you staring at my ass?
Jail: You do have a very lovely ass my dear Trei. (Licks his lips and removes his coat)
Nove: Oi! Are you ok? You're acting even weirder than normal.
Jail: Oh I feel just fine Nove. Just fine. (Stares at Nove, then at Dieci's chest while unbuttoning his shirt)
Uno: Doctor, they are right, you are acting out of character.
Jail: Perhaps I am. Would you like to help me? (completely removes his shirt)
Dieci: How? (Starts to shift backwards)
Jail: (Moving towards Uno with a predatory gleam in his eyes) Why I have a fire in my pants and you all are going to help me quench it.

*end video file*

With this proclamation, the girls suddenly realize the danger they're in and they scatter. Soon, all of them have ran off screen. Staring at the communications screen in shock and horror, we soon hear a desperate scream.

*start video file*

Uno: Help!! Someone save me!! (Sound of clothing being torn)
Sein: (Rippling sound) Grab on!! (Rippling sound)
Jail: Dammit!

(Few minutes later)

Dieci: AHHH!!!!
Trei: I got you! (buzzing sound)
Nove: We got to get out of here!!
Jail: Don't worry girls. I just sealed the base tight and I have plenty of energy for everyone. Not even you Sein can get out with your deep diver.
Quatro: Ahhh!! (runs across the communication scream with her suit in mostly tatters and not covering much with a naked Jail fast on her tail.)
Jail: Your illusions won't help you now. Why not give in into the inevitable.
Quatro: Hell no!! Someone save me!!!

(Communications channel suddenly terminates)

Lutecia: (Slight blush on her face) Thank you for your help Tais.
Tais: Huh?
Lutecia: I'm going off now.
Tais: You can't go there!! I won't allow it. Its too dangerous for a little girl like you!
Lutecia: I'm not. They can take care of themselves. Well then goodbye.
Tais: Hey wait!!

*end video file*

Lu-chan just teleported after saying goodbye. Not knowing what to do, Tais decide to go back to the bar and get totally smashed. That was shocking. Who would have thought that the health drink could be that scary. If it has the effect of stamina medicine and Viagra but multiplied by a factor of 3 (estimated) on that person, what would it do to a weird person like Tais or even worse, what would it do to Director Tsuzuki? I shudder to think what the possible effects will be. Luckily, Tais managed to avoid drinking it but now I have to make sure none of the people at the CSDB ever gets a taste of that drink or at least not be there if it happens. Tais better avoid Lieutenant Colonel Yagami from now on. I still can't believe that she could be so evil.
~End log~

C.C please. And special thanks to Lowe for the names of the Numbers. Hopefully you guys will find it funny

Yes, I do have to agree with Yui. Tais needs to stay the hell away from "T3h drink."

Poor girls.

Originally Posted by FlameSparkZ

Yeah, pretty much like that

Ok, another hunk of text.

Spoiler for Gossips, Reports and an Unexpected Visit...:

Another morning at the HQ of the TSAB...or maybe not...

"C'mon, tell us!" A clerk asked among a group of people surrounding Koji.
"I-it wasn't anything special..." He explained with a hand on the back of his head.
"You gotta be kiddin'! You managed to get Enforcer Maren to go on a date with you!" Another clerk spoke with a tone of jealousy.
"I wasn't expecting her to really go with me..." He tittered.
"Hey, how far did you go with her?"
"Wha? What do you mean with that?" Koji looked at the clerk.

Suddenly a nearby door slid open, Maren came in, and everyone surrounding Koji immediately dispersed, pretending to be chatting or doing something else.
"Ah, Maren-san, good morning!" He greeted her.
She looked at him, "...good morning...Minawa-kun."
Unaware to them, the clerks started mind-chatting with eachother as they heard that.

"Oh...have you done your report on yesterday?"
"...Not yet."
"I was about to do mine now...shall we do it together?" He asked with a smile.
"Fine with me."
They both headed out together, and the clerks got all back together for more gossips.

"Unbelievable, who would have guessed Koji was Enforcer Maren's type..."
"No way! She's just going along with it for now, soon enough Koji will start talking to another girl like the other times." A clerk remembered them.
A female clerk sighed, "He's always so nice with everyone, he even cheered me up when I failed my exam..."
"And you though he was making a move on you." Said another female clerk.
"Datte...I thought he liked me~ who would have guessed he was just being kind to me?" she explained.
"That's quite true..." A male clerk gave it some thought, "He's always there to cheer someone up."
"Does that mean he's trying to cheer up Enforcer Maren?"
"That wouldn't make sense, she's been like that ever since she joined." he shook his head.
"But I'm still curious about the date..." the female clerk said with her arms folded.
"If only Keshi had found about it sooner..."
"DON'T CALL ME KESHI!!!!!" Shouted Keshi behind the group, startling them.
"Ahem..." he adjusts his glasses, "Get back to work..." and left the scene.
"..." The clerks looked at him walk away.
"Oh, did you hear about Koji's sister?"
"Yeah, who would have guessed..."
----------------------------


Currently writting their reports on yesterday's incident, Koji engages in a conversation with Maren...
"I heard the man that was carriying the Relic was captured."
"Yes. He was questioned earlier..."
"Oh, and any leads?"
"No, he said he was paid to wait at the subway station, and then deliver it."
"But because of the accident, the plan was foiled..." Koji finished for her.
"Yes. A Gadget Drone caused the accident."
"I head about it, Sergeant Nakajima of the 108th Battalion investigated it."
"I see..." She kept typing.
"It seems the train was carrying two more Relics and a small girl...but I don't know more that that..."
"Our job is now is to write this report, don't go peeking into what other divisions are doing..." She advised him as she kep her eyes on the screen.
"I know but...I just want to help. These recent events, the Relics and the Drones...and also the mysterious attackers."
"Attackers?" She turned to him.
"Yes..." He typed a bit and three new windows opened with the Numbers, "They tried to take the Relics, and possibly the girl too...thankfully, the RF6 protected them...hmm? Maren-san?" He looked at her, who had her eyes on the pictures.
"Ah...I-It's nothing..." She snapped out of it, and went back to typing.
"Ok...if you say so..." He wondered, "Something's troubling her..."

"Would you like some tea?" A girl said next to Maren.
"Oh...thank you." She accepted the cup.
"I'd like one too...Wah!!!" Surprised, Koji falls off his chair.
The girl giggles, "Did I scare you?"
"Y-Yui???" He looked at her from the floor.
"Hai, Onii-chan!" she winked. "It's been a long time, hasn't it?."
"Y-yeah...by the way, why are you in a waitress's uniform?" He pointed at her.
"No reason at all." She sticked out her tongue.
----------------------------

No drawing though, working on a request, then have the drawing of Yui in Barrier Jacket and with her Device to do

Cheers~

[EDIT:]


Hilariously amusing, I must say, that was quite an unexpected effect from the "health drink"

Ooh, is that a hint of jealousy I see in Maren's eyes?