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Old 2008-05-09, 23:35   Link #4181
wanwan1203
Troublemaker
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: lost
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thesinwithin View Post
I like me a Kanade very much. Mostly because every time she talks I'm all OMFG SHIZUMA! RUN FOR THE HILLS!

It's better than Yukino talking, because all I can see is Armitage. Throwing. Planes.

Oh voice actresses. You make my life happy.

I giggled lots.

@Theshinysword - thanks
sorry for off topic-ing:

*researches..google google* ah Nabatame Hitomi *clicks..reads...*
...




omgomgomgomgomg

she did Shizuma..and Kanade.. AND KAN-U UNCHOU?!!!! hawtness incarnate Kan-u?!!!

*faints*

(they're like in my imaginary harem.. ehem i mean they're all in my favorite anime characters list! oh my oh my..) ^^'

edit: page claimed in the name of Thesinwithin's lovely avatar and the completion of Undercover! woot!!!

Last edited by wanwan1203; 2008-05-09 at 23:39. Reason: page claim..!
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Old 2008-05-10, 00:11   Link #4182
Evil Rick
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
Nanoha/ MARVEL

Spoiler for Chapter 1:


To no one get lost

Spoiler for MARVEL INFO:
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Last edited by Evil Rick; 2008-05-18 at 21:59.
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Old 2008-05-10, 01:23   Link #4183
Kaix
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
Satashi you are clearely making a BANG with you cross over with My Hime and Nanoha, should I trymy own cross over? Yes... yes it's coming... LOL

Nanoha/ MARVEL

Spoiler for Chapter 1:


To no one get lost

Spoiler for MARVEL INFO:
Please don't get me wrong, I am totally excited about the fact that the cross-over is finally here, but there are quite a few factual errors that you may want to look into...

First of all, Fate keeps changing her name through the story. I'm sure that by the time this story takes place she's already named 'Fate T. Harlown', yet at the beginning she calls herself 'Testarossa' and so does Tony Stark call her a bit later on, when they both should have actually used 'Harlown'.

Then, I believe, that Fate would have been totally capable of teleporting herself to Earth without having to travel by plane and stay 3 hours in a transportator.

I don't think it's a problem with Tony Stark finding about out about the TSAB (it's Tony Stark we're talking about), but how come that now the whole world knows about Mages?

I also highly doubt that Tony could have gone to Sector 6 by his own, much less fly Fate there. Not only that there are no clues of him being able to dimensional travel, but if a civilian would be able to do something like that, then probably the TSAB would have found out about him sooner and not only that but keep a closer eye on him. They wouldn't be happy if anybody could just pop into their military bases.

At the end Fate falls too easy. Don't quote me on this, but being an Enforcer, Fate should be capable of putting out a shield in barely a second. If she had time to see the missile, then she could have put up a shield. If not, then where was Bardiche's automatic defense? He's not an intelligent device for nothing.

Last... well not actually a complaint, but what kind of a way is it to end a message with 'HI HYDRA'? I'm guessing it's a typo, but that sounded totally random.

What was good about this chapter was Tony Stark who was very in-character! XD Also, the whole idea doesn't seem bad, but there were all these elements that seemed out of place. I've noticed a few things similar to the Iron Man movie as well. (Not that it's a bad thing. )
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Last edited by Kaix; 2008-05-10 at 01:25. Reason: some typos
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Old 2008-05-10, 01:56   Link #4184
Evil Rick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai the Reaper View Post
Please don't get me wrong, I am totally excited about the fact that the cross-over is finally here, but there are quite a few factual errors that you may want to look into...

First of all, Fate keeps changing her name through the story. I'm sure that by the time this story takes place she's already named 'Fate T. Harlown', yet at the beginning she calls herself 'Testarossa' and so does Tony Stark call her a bit later on, when they both should have actually used 'Harlown'.
I like more to use Testarrosa instead of Haraowl

Quote:
Then, I believe, that Fate would have been totally capable of teleporting herself to Earth without having to travel by plane and stay 3 hours in a transportator.
In all the seasons of Nanoha they never use any kind of instant teletransportation

Quote:
I don't think it's a problem with Tony Stark finding about out about the TSAB (it's Tony Stark we're talking about), but how come that now the whole world knows about Mages?
In the MARVEL universe the existense of Mages is alredy knowed, check out for Dr. Strangue and the Hellfire Club

Quote:
I also highly doubt that Tony could have gone to Sector 6 by his own, much less fly Fate there. Not only that there are no clues of him being able to dimensional travel, but if a civilian would be able to do something like that, then probably the TSAB would have found out about him sooner and not only that but keep a closer eye on him. They wouldn't be happy if anybody could just pop into their military bases.
Tony was mocking Fate in that part

Quote:
At the end Fate falls too easy. Don't quote me on this, but being an Enforcer, Fate should be capable of putting out a shield in barely a second. If she had time to see the missile, then she could have put up a shield. If not, then where was Bardiche's automatic defense? He's not an intelligent device for nothing.

Last... well not actually a complaint, but what kind of a way is it to end a message with 'HI HYDRA'? I'm guessing it's a typo, but that sounded totally random..
Click the link that I putted for Hydra to get those answers

Quote:
What was good about this chapter was Tony Stark who was very in-character! XD Also, the whole idea doesn't seem bad, but there were all these elements that seemed out of place. I've noticed a few things similar to the Iron Man movie as well. (Not that it's a bad thing. )
I liked the line of the movie that said "That's how America does it, that's how God does it..."
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Old 2008-05-10, 02:18   Link #4185
Kaix
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
I like more to use Testarrosa instead of Haraowl
Still, it must be confusing for Fate when she's being called in two different ways.

Quote:
In all the seasons of Nanoha they never use any kind of instant teletransportation
Actually, Fate uses teleportation in the 7th episode of the first season when she goes to visit her mother.

Quote:
In the MARVEL universe the existense of Mages is alredy knowed, check out for Dr. Strangue and the Hellfire Club
Maybe that confusion came on my part for you calling the place where Fate goes 'Eath', which instantly took to the earth that Nanoha comes from...

Quote:
Tony was mocking Fate in that part
I was also talking about the part where Fate was thinking that he should have come by himself! :P
Quote:
Click the link that I putted for Hydra to get those answers
I saw the link. I was trying to say that the 'HI' in front of 'HYDRA' seemed random at first reading.
Quote:
I liked the line of the movie that said "That's how America does it, that's how God does it..."
The movie had lots of quotable material.
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Old 2008-05-10, 02:51   Link #4186
Evil Rick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai the Reaper View Post

Actually, Fate uses teleportation in the 7th episode of the first season when she goes to visit her mother
That was from a very exactly point from Fate's roof to the ship of Presia, there Fate alredy knew were it was Presia's ship, here Fate had never visited before the Stark Tower

Quote:
I was also talking about the part where Fate was thinking that he should have come by himself! :P
You said it before, he is Tony Stark, he shall be able to do it

Quote:
I saw the link. I was trying to say that the 'HI' in front of 'HYDRA' seemed random at first reading.
Hydra is a terrorist organization who came out of the Nazis, instead of say "Hi Hitler", they say "Hi Hydra"

Quote:
The movie had lots of quotable material.
Indeed, indeed
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Old 2008-05-10, 03:01   Link #4187
Keroko
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 30
*pops in*

Teleportation is quite common in Nanohaverse. Yuuno uses 'movement magic' in S1 against Arf, Fate teleports to the Garden of Time, in A's the Wolkenritter transport to different worlds and back home on a constant basis (we even see Vita use the spell in episode 7) In StrikerS it is far less common, though we do see Hayate and Tiana use teleporters once to get to the Main HQ.

And on a minor note, its 'heil' not 'hi'

Quite busy, but hopefully things will calm down in a couple of hours. Be back with more then!

*hearts out*
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Old 2008-05-10, 04:39   Link #4188
markesellus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
Satashi you are clearely making a BANG with you cross over with My Hime and Nanoha, should I trymy own cross over? Yes... yes it's coming... LOL

Nanoha/ MARVEL

Spoiler for Chapter 1:


To no one get lost

Spoiler for MARVEL INFO:
OMG! It's here! I love the fact that it starts off with a pissed off Fate. Tony Stark was awesome. I love that line from the movie. I think Fate was too helpless at the end. She can totally beat them. You should get some one to beta read for you, and fix all the spelling mistakes and grammar confusion. Because it's slightly weird. I can do it for you if you want. The HI HYDRA is wrong. If you meant it to be like Hitler it should be HEIL HYDRA.
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Old 2008-05-10, 05:26   Link #4189
Advent000
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thesinwithin View Post
Sorry for the double post, guys, but fanfic and my squeeing about it make for a bad thing to quote from.

Undercover FINAL chapter, "The Promise of Tomorrow"

Spoiler for Notes:


Okay, never mind about the double post. D8
The ending was very touching, and I espechialy liked how the negative energy had been affecting the school, overall this was a very nice read, looking forward to more fics from you.
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Old 2008-05-10, 13:18   Link #4190
Gillian
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Join Date: Jan 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thesinwithin View Post
Sorry for the double post, guys, but fanfic and my squeeing about it make for a bad thing to quote from.

Undercover FINAL chapter, "The Promise of Tomorrow"

Spoiler for Notes:


Okay, never mind about the double post. D8
cute moment they share at the end of the chapter, really like it
too bad, they are separated for such a long time, damn StrikerS authors...

too bad the fic has reached its final chapter
it was really good
thx a lot for it
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Old 2008-05-10, 14:42   Link #4191
Satashi
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Truth by told, I was a little nervous about going to the school today. Fate-chan was calm like always but I felt a sick feeling in the back of my throat. She has done things like this a few times already but this was my first time to ever go undercover. If I messed this up then the entire mission would be in jeopardy. To make up for my nervousness I had gone over the reports that Hayate-chan was given and could almost literally quote them word for word. I knew my 'past', Fate-chan's 'past' and a lot about the Otome as well. Of course, all of this meant little because most of the facts given to me were common knowledge on this planet. Going by public reference books only meant that I would stand out less than someone ignorant of that information. What we needed the most was severely under researched so we would have to play almost everything by ear once we were on the inside. My partner told me it was time to go and I nodded lightly. Hayate-chan put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me, making my nervousness ease up a little. Both of the males nodded at us and I felt just a little more confident knowing they were standing behind me. Finally I stood up and walked with Fate outside of the apartment door and started making our way down to the bottom floor.

Dream Wing II
By: Satashi

~**~

I had that done yesterday but forgot to post it. Oops.

[Edit] It happened again!
Spoiler for 1337:

Last edited by Satashi; 2008-05-10 at 15:21.
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Old 2008-05-10, 15:22   Link #4192
Advent000
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
Satashi you are clearely making a BANG with you cross over with My Hime and Nanoha, should I trymy own cross over? Yes... yes it's coming... LOL

Nanoha/ MARVEL

Spoiler for Chapter 1:


To no one get lost

Spoiler for MARVEL INFO:
So Hydra has access to alien tech scrounged from these Gnobians, I'm assuming thats how they overwhelmed Fate so fast, and how they are going to keep her contained.

And I think that Testarossa sounds cooler than Harlowen.

As for these artificial devices, if the TSA or at least section 6, feels that they are too dangerous then I have a devious plan to discredit the new weapons, thats if anyones interested in it.

Anyways looking forward to more.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Truth by told, I was a little nervous about going to the school today. Fate-chan was calm like always but I felt a sick feeling in the back of my throat. She has done things like this a few times already but this was my first time to ever go undercover. If I messed this up then the entire mission would be in jeopardy. To make up for my nervousness I had gone over the reports that Hayate-chan was given and could almost literally quote them word for word. I knew my 'past', Fate-chan's 'past' and a lot about the Otome as well. Of course, all of this meant little because most of the facts given to me were common knowledge on this planet. Going by public reference books only meant that I would stand out less than someone ignorant of that information. What we needed the most was severely under researched so we would have to play almost everything by ear once we were on the inside. My partner told me it was time to go and I nodded lightly. Hayate-chan put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me, making my nervousness ease up a little. Both of the males nodded at us and I felt just a little more confident knowing they were standing behind me. Finally I stood up and walked with Fate outside of the apartment door and started making our way down to the bottom floor.

Dream Wing II
By: Satashi

~**~

I had that done yesterday but forgot to post it. Oops.
Ah, a new take on the new school jitters, Natsuki will be a bit surprised to see them.

Last edited by Advent000; 2008-05-10 at 15:24. Reason: What happened again?
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Old 2008-05-10, 17:42   Link #4193
Satashi
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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Age: 35
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@Evil Rick: Do you have some problems with periods? I noticed that almost every line you have is a run-on sentence ( some being able to split into 4 or 5 separate ones). I can't offer too much help on them but it does make it a little hard to follow sometimes.
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Old 2008-05-10, 18:15   Link #4194
wanwan1203
Troublemaker
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: lost
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thesinwithin View Post
Sorry for the double post, guys, but fanfic and my squeeing about it make for a bad thing to quote from.

Undercover FINAL chapter, "The Promise of Tomorrow"

Spoiler for Notes:


Okay, never mind about the double post. D8
Me likes!! I love your Fate and Nanoha!!! Definitely worth reading. Yeyy!!
will there be an update to Passages any time soon?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Truth by told, I was a little nervous about going to the school today. Fate-chan was calm like always but I felt a sick feeling in the back of my throat. She has done things like this a few times already but this was my first time to ever go undercover. If I messed this up then the entire mission would be in jeopardy. To make up for my nervousness I had gone over the reports that Hayate-chan was given and could almost literally quote them word for word. I knew my 'past', Fate-chan's 'past' and a lot about the Otome as well. Of course, all of this meant little because most of the facts given to me were common knowledge on this planet. Going by public reference books only meant that I would stand out less than someone ignorant of that information. What we needed the most was severely under researched so we would have to play almost everything by ear once we were on the inside. My partner told me it was time to go and I nodded lightly. Hayate-chan put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me, making my nervousness ease up a little. Both of the males nodded at us and I felt just a little more confident knowing they were standing behind me. Finally I stood up and walked with Fate outside of the apartment door and started making our way down to the bottom floor.

Dream Wing II
By: Satashi

~**~

I had that done yesterday but forgot to post it. Oops.

[Edit] It happened again!
Spoiler for 1337:
I can't wait for the 2nd chapter. Go go Nanoha! You can do it!!

Eh well I got to thinking yesterday.. of a reverse Dream Wing. LOL

warning; this is crack. taking 14 pills a day must have taken its toll on my system.
(i'm not kidding on the pills.. i have to take 5 different kinds of medicines in varying dosages everyday..well until i get better that is.)

Spoiler for Reverse Dream Wing:
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Old 2008-05-10, 18:30   Link #4195
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanwan1203 View Post
Me likes!! I love your Fate and Nanoha!!! Definitely worth reading. Yeyy!!
will there be an update to Passages any time soon?



I can't wait for the 2nd chapter. Go go Nanoha! You can do it!!

Eh well I got to thinking yesterday.. of a reverse Dream Wing. LOL

warning; this is crack. taking 14 pills a day must have taken its toll on my system.
(i'm not kidding on the pills.. i have to take 5 different kinds of medicines in varying dosages everyday..well until i get better that is.)

Spoiler for Reverse Dream Wing:
XD
Poor Natsuki she always finds away to lose her clothes

For some reason I thought up this after reading that.

Spoiler for Doesn't stand a chance:
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Old 2008-05-10, 19:14   Link #4196
Evil Rick
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
Let's try another funny short cartoon maded by myself

Spoiler for Vivio:


Someone wants to start a fic out of it?
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Old 2008-05-10, 20:25   Link #4197
markesellus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Truth by told, I was a little nervous about going to the school today. Fate-chan was calm like always but I felt a sick feeling in the back of my throat. She has done things like this a few times already but this was my first time to ever go undercover. If I messed this up then the entire mission would be in jeopardy. To make up for my nervousness I had gone over the reports that Hayate-chan was given and could almost literally quote them word for word. I knew my 'past', Fate-chan's 'past' and a lot about the Otome as well. Of course, all of this meant little because most of the facts given to me were common knowledge on this planet. Going by public reference books only meant that I would stand out less than someone ignorant of that information. What we needed the most was severely under researched so we would have to play almost everything by ear once we were on the inside. My partner told me it was time to go and I nodded lightly. Hayate-chan put a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me, making my nervousness ease up a little. Both of the males nodded at us and I felt just a little more confident knowing they were standing behind me. Finally I stood up and walked with Fate outside of the apartment door and started making our way down to the bottom floor.

Dream Wing II
By: Satashi

~**~

I had that done yesterday but forgot to post it. Oops.

[Edit] It happened again!
Spoiler for 1337:
I can't wait to see them at Garderobe. I'm sure Nanoha will be great and somehow Fate will mess up. 1337 words. Leet?
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanwan1203 View Post
Eh well I got to thinking yesterday.. of a reverse Dream Wing. LOL

warning; this is crack. taking 14 pills a day must have taken its toll on my system.
(i'm not kidding on the pills.. i have to take 5 different kinds of medicines in varying dosages everyday..well until i get better that is.)

Spoiler for Reverse Dream Wing:
Lol! Something she'd like to wear. Poor Natsuki. I'm surprised Shizuru didn't jump her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
XD
Poor Natsuki she always finds away to lose her clothes

For some reason I thought up this after reading that.

Spoiler for Doesn't stand a chance:
Oh wow. I want to see a battle between Shizuru and Fate. That would be interesting. Who would win?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
Let's try another funny short cartoon maded by myself

Spoiler for Vivio:


Someone wants to start a fic out of it?
Vivio is awesome! That was pretty funny. I almost felt sorry for the creepy old man. Almost...
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Old 2008-05-10, 21:40   Link #4198
Satashi
Vividly Vivio
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Requesting help on Dream Wing here........

Spoiler for Mai-Otome Question:
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Old 2008-05-10, 21:54   Link #4199
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Requesting help on Dream Wing here........

Spoiler for Mai-Otome Question:
I say yes because the world needs more Chie :3 (and Nao too... but mostly Chie XD) . Since you've already time-jumped two more couldn't hurt. (And since you timed jumped Mashiro it'd only make sense to time jump a certain maid too... . Then again maybe you should ignore me)
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Old 2008-05-10, 22:00   Link #4200
panther_munchy
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Requesting help on Dream Wing here........

Spoiler for Mai-Otome Question:
Some people dislike the idea of so much timejumping...I know a few folks who got turned off Dream Wing because, no offense, it looks like you're making Shizuru and Natsuki younger for the sake of fulfilling your own...ah, desires(!?)...for exposing as much of the pairing as possible. Even if they're of their canon age and Arinko/Mashiro etc is their respective ones, there's probably a way to get ShizNat airtime as well.

Apply same reasoning to the Pearl cast and Mai, and...you know.
why is sex mentioned with Chie, btw?

No offense intended, just my two cents combined with the opinions of some of your intended audience.
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