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Old 2008-05-10, 22:26   Link #4201
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by panther_munchy View Post
Some people dislike the idea of so much timejumping...I know a few folks who got turned off Dream Wing because, no offense, it looks like you're making Shizuru and Natsuki younger for the sake of fulfilling your own...ah, desires(!?)...for exposing as much of the pairing as possible. Even if they're of their canon age and Arinko/Mashiro etc is their respective ones, there's probably a way to get ShizNat airtime as well.
To be fair the only people so far who have been time jumped are Arika and Mashiro. The story just takes place in the otome world pre Otome timeline. There's nothing wrong with that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by panther_munchy View Post
why is sex mentioned with Chie, btw?
Because Chie=Sex :3

Annnnnnnnddddddd it's chapter 3 of Bodyguard!Nanoha. I'm sorry that this chapters entire purpose is is to lead to the next chapter really ><.
Spoiler for Bodyguard!Nanoha Ch 3:


Spoiler for Note:


Parts 1+2

Edit: Page claim for AU's

Edit: Fixxed some formatting issues -_- so if you read it and got confused please check it over again.

Last edited by TheShinySword; 2008-05-10 at 22:36.
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Old 2008-05-10, 22:52   Link #4202
Thesinwithin
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Join Date: Sep 2004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai the Reaper View Post
So the ending finally came... I'd be lying if I were saying that I won't miss waiting for updates in this fic, but what has to end, has to end.

I fully enjoyed the story from start to finish. The ending had a nice 'life goes on, but some things will never change' feel to it that was fitting and heartwarming. What I liked the most about the fic was probably that everything seemed to be in the right quantity, fights, day-to-day descriptions, and so on, nothing felt as if it was going over the top. Sorry for not being able to give a more in-depth view on my thoughts, but I simply did not find anything out of place.

Overall - great story in every aspect!
I struggled to find the perfect balance of story and action, as that was what the show originally was. Recreating the show environment helps to add to the enjoyment. Thanks for your kind words of encouragement.


Quote:
Originally Posted by markesellus View Post
O noes! Its over! Awesome job Thesinwithin. Very cool. All the loose ends tied up nicely. Oh and I absolutely love mochi, and mochi ice cream. Oh and I like your new Avatar.
Mochi is amazing and Mochi ice cream is not nearly as good. I like green tea ice cream myself. thanks for reading the fic!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Advent000 View Post
The ending was very touching, and I especially liked how the negative energy had been affecting the school, overall this was a very nice read, looking forward to more fics from you.
I figured that it needed that detail, because I realized that the way I'd written it was just not good for the school to remain the awful learning environment that it was.

Thanks so much for reading.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gillian View Post
cute moment they share at the end of the chapter, really like it
too bad, they are separated for such a long time, damn StrikerS authors...

too bad the fic has reached its final chapter
it was really good
thx a lot for it
They were separated for a long time, weren't they? The way that I've established the canon of Undercover, they wouldn't probably get to see that much of each other until the start of StrikerS, but there would be times, quick, hurried, generally hurried moments where they'd try to express their love for one another in any way they could.

/waxing romantic. I'm glad you liked the fic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wanwan1203 View Post
Me likes!! I love your Fate and Nanoha!!! Definitely worth reading. Yeyy!!
will there be an update to Passages any time soon?
Thank you. I don't know about a Passages update, but one is in the works. That story comes in bursts, so that I never know when inspiration is going to hit me.
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Old 2008-05-10, 23:21   Link #4203
Evil Rick
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Chapter 34
Vatican Knights

Spoiler for Discovered:


NOTES:

Tomorrow: Next chapter of Nanoha/ MARVEL, Vatican Knights and the draws that I still don't post

Next Week: Nextc chapter of Rise of Techno - Union

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Old 2008-05-11, 02:30   Link #4204
wanwan1203
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
XD
Poor Natsuki she always finds away to lose her clothes

For some reason I thought up this after reading that.

Spoiler for Doesn't stand a chance:
my favorite line: "Do you mind Imma Chargin' mah lazer" LOL XD

well no one messes with The Shiz:
Spoiler for Nanoha really doesn't stand a chance:


the fun starts at around 2:10. wait for it. now replace Mai with Nanoha. Or Fate.. and that's what would've happened.

Quote:
Originally Posted by markesellus View Post
Lol! Something she'd like to wear. Poor Natsuki. I'm surprised Shizuru didn't jump her.
Shizuru was too busy passing out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Requesting help on Dream Wing here........

Spoiler for Mai-Otome Question:
Otome Nao and Otome Chie?!! oh wow.. for purely selfish reasons I would say sure go ahead. however, i can see why some people won't like it. It may be overwhelming..

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post

Because Chie=Sex :3

Annnnnnnnddddddd it's chapter 3 of Bodyguard!Nanoha. I'm sorry that this chapters entire purpose is is to lead to the next chapter really ><.
Spoiler for Bodyguard!Nanoha Ch 3:


Spoiler for Note:


Parts 1+2

Edit: Page claim for AU's

Edit: Fixxed some formatting issues -_- so if you read it and got confused please check it over again.
yes Chie is sex on legs.
Fate is a ruined good..?

Last edited by wanwan1203; 2008-05-11 at 02:51. Reason: added something
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Old 2008-05-11, 03:09   Link #4205
Kaix
[. . .]
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Annnnnnnnddddddd it's chapter 3 of Bodyguard!Nanoha. I'm sorry that this chapters entire purpose is is to lead to the next chapter really ><.
Spoiler for Bodyguard!Nanoha Ch 3:


Spoiler for Note:


Parts 1+2

Edit: Page claim for AU's

Edit: Fixxed some formatting issues -_- so if you read it and got confused please check it over again.
It's finally here! Yay for Hayate who makes an appearance. Funny as always. Can't wait for more! XD (Something makes me think Nanoha will get to keep Fate though. )

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
Chapter 34
Vatican Knights

Spoiler for Discovered:


NOTES:

Tomorrow: Next chapter of Nanoha/ MARVEL, Vatican Knights and the draws that I still don't post

Next Week: Nextc chapter of Rise of Techno - Union

O__O Nice cliffhanger. With that end, I can definitely say I can't wait to see what will happen next.
Also, you may want to look over your text again, there's a few times where there is a space missing between words.

@Evil Rick: Maybe it's just me, but you sig doesn't seem entirely work safe. ><
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Old 2008-05-11, 03:33   Link #4206
Evil Rick
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai the Reaper View Post
O__O Nice cliffhanger. With that end, I can definitely say I can't wait to see what will happen next.
Also, you may want to look over your text again, there's a few times where there is a space missing between words
The "space" button of my border is not working very well, sometimes when you click it, it doesn't mark the space >.<!

Quote:
@Evil Rick: Maybe it's just me, but you sig doesn't seem entirely work safe. ><
I know, isn't it great?

Seriusly speaking it's borderline with explicit material, but she is not showing more than the allowed here... I think

(Anyway I will changue it again, I'm working in new Evil Sigs )
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Old 2008-05-11, 03:45   Link #4207
Krinen
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What I'm about to say will probably be so far off topic I should be shot, but I just got this idea.

So I was drivin' down the street, at 2:30, lookin' for a burger place that was open... (Cravings be damned.) And "Uptown Girl" came on my Zune. And I instantly thought of Landscaper!Fate. Now, I know Sata-chan did it on Peachy Keen, but damned if it doesn't fit L!S so well. I bloody pictured something happening, so much like PK it could be considered a ripoff, but, hey.

Enough of my ramblings. Continue on. Comment if you must.
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Old 2008-05-11, 03:57   Link #4208
ghazghkull
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
Annnnnnnnddddddd it's chapter 3 of Bodyguard!Nanoha. I'm sorry that this chapters entire purpose is is to lead to the next chapter really ><.
Spoiler for Bodyguard!Nanoha Ch 3:


Spoiler for Note:


Parts 1+2

Edit: Page claim for AU's

Edit: Fixxed some formatting issues -_- so if you read it and got confused please check it over again.
I likes...I likes. :3

Looking forward to the next chapter...whenever that is :3 Take your time of course
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Old 2008-05-11, 04:04   Link #4209
Krinen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
I likes...I likes. :3

Looking forward to the next chapter...whenever that is :3 Take your time of course
So we agree. *nods deviously* >3
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Old 2008-05-11, 04:30   Link #4210
Kaix
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I'm done with the third and fourth chapters. XD This was originally intended to be only one chapter, but I decided to cut it into two to keep it similar to the first two and to make it easier to read. Enjoy I guess.

Spoiler for [Medieval!Nanoha] Chapter 3:

Spoiler for [Medieval!Nanoha] Chapter 4:


Spoiler for Notes::
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Old 2008-05-11, 05:00   Link #4211
Advent000
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
To be fair the only people so far who have been time jumped are Arika and Mashiro. The story just takes place in the otome world pre Otome timeline. There's nothing wrong with that.



Because Chie=Sex :3

Annnnnnnnddddddd it's chapter 3 of Bodyguard!Nanoha. I'm sorry that this chapters entire purpose is is to lead to the next chapter really ><.
Spoiler for Bodyguard!Nanoha Ch 3:


Spoiler for Note:


Parts 1+2

Edit: Page claim for AU's

Edit: Fixxed some formatting issues -_- so if you read it and got confused please check it over again.
Been looking forward to an update, Vivio is adorable.

Though does Fate know that she's a clone.
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Old 2008-05-11, 05:03   Link #4212
Advent000
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
To be fair the only people so far who have been time jumped are Arika and Mashiro. The story just takes place in the otome world pre Otome timeline. There's nothing wrong with that.



Because Chie=Sex :3

Annnnnnnnddddddd it's chapter 3 of Bodyguard!Nanoha. I'm sorry that this chapters entire purpose is is to lead to the next chapter really ><.
Spoiler for Bodyguard!Nanoha Ch 3:


Spoiler for Note:


Parts 1+2

Edit: Page claim for AU's

Edit: Fixxed some formatting issues -_- so if you read it and got confused please check it over again.
Nice chapter, Vivio is adorable.

Though does Fate know that she's a clone.

Edit: Whoops
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Old 2008-05-11, 07:56   Link #4213
TheShinySword
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wanwan1203 View Post
\
well no one messes with The Shiz:
Spoiler for Nanoha really doesn't stand a chance:


the fun starts at around 2:10. wait for it. now replace Mai with Nanoha. Or Fate.. and that's what would've happened.
... OO RUN NANOHA RUN! Run while you still can. XD Drama CD's rock.

Quote:



Fate is a ruined good..?
In Bodyguard!Nanoha world yes she is. :c. To us no no she's not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
The "space" button of my border is not working very well, sometimes when you click it, it doesn't mark the space >.<!



I know, isn't it great?

Seriusly speaking it's borderline with explicit material, but she is not showing more than the allowed here... I think

(Anyway I will changue it again, I'm working in new Evil Sigs )
Well it's definitely NWSF O.O.

[QUOTE=Kai the Reaper;1586304]It's finally here! Yay for Hayate who makes an appearance. Funny as always. Can't wait for more! XD (Something makes me think Nanoha will get to keep Fate though. )

/QUOTE]

Expect more Hayate (and the rest of the wolkenritter)

I'll say this. Nanoha won't willingly keep Fate if she does.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghazghkull View Post
I likes...I likes. :3

Looking forward to the next chapter...whenever that is :3 Take your time of course
Thank you. I can't say when it'll be done but at least I have an idea of what's in the chapter ><

Quote:
Originally Posted by Advent000 View Post
Been looking forward to an update, Vivio is adorable.

Though does Fate know that she's a clone.
Yes and no. Fate knows she's a clone but she doesn't understand what that really means oh more then a basic level.


@Thesinwithin- I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning reading Undercover and it was totally worth it. Even though I can't say Magic Zombies without giggling . Congrats on finishing such an awesome fic.
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Old 2008-05-11, 10:05   Link #4214
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Krinen View Post
What I'm about to say will probably be so far off topic I should be shot, but I just got this idea.

So I was drivin' down the street, at 2:30, lookin' for a burger place that was open... (Cravings be damned.) And "Uptown Girl" came on my Zune. And I instantly thought of Landscaper!Fate. Now, I know Sata-chan did it on Peachy Keen, but damned if it doesn't fit L!S so well. I bloody pictured something happening, so much like PK it could be considered a ripoff, but, hey.

Enough of my ramblings. Continue on. Comment if you must.
Spoiler for RG!N is an UT!G:


might as well rip off myself?

L!F belongs to Junkedcat

Last edited by Satashi; 2008-05-11 at 10:17.
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Old 2008-05-11, 10:15   Link #4215
Gillian
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShinySword View Post
To be fair the only people so far who have been time jumped are Arika and Mashiro. The story just takes place in the otome world pre Otome timeline. There's nothing wrong with that.



Because Chie=Sex :3

Annnnnnnnddddddd it's chapter 3 of Bodyguard!Nanoha. I'm sorry that this chapters entire purpose is is to lead to the next chapter really ><.
Spoiler for Bodyguard!Nanoha Ch 3:


Spoiler for Note:


Parts 1+2

Edit: Page claim for AU's

Edit: Fixxed some formatting issues -_- so if you read it and got confused please check it over again.
yeah chapter 3
thank you shiny
I really like that fic

what I wonder is, if Fate can still be programmed or is she in the awaken state and actually lern things?

Fate is really cute here and Nanoha also

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai the Reaper View Post
It's finally here! Yay for Hayate who makes an appearance. Funny as always. Can't wait for more! XD (Something makes me think Nanoha will get to keep Fate though. )
Hopefully
Or maybe she sold Fate and starts missing her and get her back*the hard way only(shooting and so on )*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai the Reaper View Post
I'm done with the third and fourth chapters. XD This was originally intended to be only one chapter, but I decided to cut it into two to keep it similar to the first two and to make it easier to read. Enjoy I guess.

Spoiler for [Medieval!Nanoha] Chapter 3:

Spoiler for [Medieval!Nanoha] Chapter 4:


Spoiler for Notes::
yeah, the meeting of NanoFate
chrono like always with a remembering entrance
good work with the TSAB
cool to read, that they also have some bad sights

nice pictures of the weapon
all in all nice chapter, cannot wait for more
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Old 2008-05-11, 13:49   Link #4216
Evil Rick
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kai the Reaper View Post
I'm done with the third and fourth chapters. XD This was originally intended to be only one chapter, but I decided to cut it into two to keep it similar to the first two and to make it easier to read. Enjoy I guess.

Spoiler for [Medieval!Nanoha] Chapter 3:

Spoiler for [Medieval!Nanoha] Chapter 4:


Spoiler for Notes::
Wow! The thing are getting very interesting, seems like these Chrono and Lindy are evils lol Who are the blue hair girl and the orangue hair girl? Couldthey be... Subaru and Teana?

PD: I like your ideas for Baridiche and Raising Heart, You draw them by yourself?

Uh, uh! Can you add some goblins?



I like goblins

@Satashi: I like your new sig
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Old 2008-05-11, 14:06   Link #4217
Satashi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Evil Rick View Post
@Satashi: I like your new sig
Actually it's an old one 0:3
Spoiler for sigs:
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Old 2008-05-11, 15:16   Link #4218
Evil Rick
Black Dragon
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
Nanoha/ MARVEL

Spoiler for Chapter 2:


To no one get lost
Spoiler for INFO:


@Satashi: I like them , did you alredy checked mines in my thread? Check the link under my sig
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Old 2008-05-11, 15:57   Link #4219
Krinen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for RG!N is an UT!G:


might as well rip off myself?

L!F belongs to Junkedcat
Cookie deserved.
Nao.
Problem is, I'm fresh out. ;_;
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Old 2008-05-11, 19:03   Link #4220
Kagerou
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi View Post
Spoiler for special:
[/SPOILER]
ARRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
SATASHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
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