2009-01-13, 09:46 | Link #3442 | |
Black Dragon
Graphic Designer
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: In the Netherrealm, thinking who to betray next...
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Quote:
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2009-01-15, 13:21 | Link #3444 |
Hige
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows
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The following radio talk did realy happen:
Frankfurt tower and a british 737 pilot. The pilot landed his aircraft and is turning the next taxiway. After holding for some minutes, the tower asked the pilot: "First time in Frankfurt?" The pilot answered cooly: "Twice. It was 1944. It was on night and i didnt land." The tower fell silent and the pilot continued taxing to the ramp.
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2009-01-16, 22:22 | Link #3445 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Toronto Canada
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Installing a Husband =P
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as * Romance 9.5 and * Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as * PS 3.0 , * Wii 1 .0 and * Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. * Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate ================================================== =================== DEAR DESPERATE, First, keep in mind, * Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while * Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. * If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. * Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 -program ..These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend * Cooking 3.0 and * Hot Lingerie 7.7. Hope this can help you. Regards IT Support
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2009-01-16, 22:44 | Link #3446 |
AS Oji-kun
Join Date: Nov 2006
Age: 74
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I recommend an upgrade to Golf Clubs 5.0 which can be found on the Mizuno site. You might consider also installing the Golf Lessons 1.0 software on the companion unit.
Hot Lingerie 7.7 can often activate the required plug-ins that may currently be in sleep mode on Husband 1.0.
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2009-01-17, 00:22 | Link #3450 |
Pretentious moe scholar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Age: 37
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I'm personally prefer
Spoiler for Mature nerd joke:
I also enjoy BBspot's geek pickup line list (warning: some of these are a bit dirty): http://www.bbspot.com/News/2004/09/t..._up_lines.html There's also parts two-at least five at that site if you search around a bit. |
2009-01-17, 01:36 | Link #3452 |
Moving in circles
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Singapore
Age: 49
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Who cares about Husband 1.0? Wife 1.0 comes with a lot more bugs!
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources available for other applications. He also noticed that Wife 1.0 spawns child processes which consume further valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialisation, where it can monitor all other system activity. He discovered that some applications — such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 — are no longer able to run on his system at all, crashing the system whenever selected (even though they always worked fine before). Also, Wife 1.0 installed some undesired plug-ins by default, such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. These plug-ins have diminished his system performance with each passing day. Unlike my friend, I decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 7.0. Nonetheless, I still encountered many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 7.0 on top of Girlfriend 6.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 6.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the previous versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You'd think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 6.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing: all versions of Girlfriend continually pop up annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0. What Tech Support advised me to do Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a Utilities & Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is indeed an operating system and designed by its creator to run everything. Bear in mind that it is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 6.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 6.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. To avoid this problem, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet. Beware though: If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources. To avoid such unnecessary hassle, we suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Other useful programs include C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. We recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 24K. Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Best of luck, Tech Support |
2009-01-17, 01:37 | Link #3453 | |
Obey the Darkly Cute ...
Author
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: On the whole, I'd rather be in Kyoto ...
Age: 67
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Quote:
However... there's always a new set of eyeballs to "discover it" and raise it from the dead. Its still fairly funny as a geek gag though...
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2009-01-17, 01:46 | Link #3454 |
Good-Natured Asshole.
Join Date: May 2007
Age: 35
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Hu$band?! Who the hell uses Hu$band?! And you fruity Wife 10.5 users aren't any better!
I highly recommend throwing all that away, and using BestFriends 8.10 and TwoDGirls 11. They're free, open source, and there are highly supportive online communities. You can freely customize appearances, install as many as you want, copy to your friends, and it doesn't involve any backdoor crap such as Golf Clubs. Forget the $$$ and embrace the world of open-source. |
2009-01-17, 01:54 | Link #3455 | |
Pretentious moe scholar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Age: 37
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I would like to remind all users not to use Alpha versions of Girlfriend. These versions are unauthorized leaks and downloading them will result in severe legal penalties.
Not that some East Asian versions of Girlfriend often look like Alpha versions, even when they aren't. Quote:
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humor |
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