Dating

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by AmoreDoll

Dating should be fun and in a way liberal but not to the extent of treating the other as a toy. Seriously, don't say that analogy of yours in front of any hardcore feminist. And hopefully you didn't say that in front of your class.

He said it earnt him dentention and major loss of respect from his peers. Safe to say, he knows the consequences if he keeps on using that offline, esp in his 20's now.
I'd look forward to the slapping or pouring drinks on him or the rabid mass of females verbally belitting his worth as a man, myself
Otherwise *shrugs* - methinks he posted it here simply for comic value

[Narona]

Originally Posted by Jazzrat

Girls like to be complimented on their hair though
I manage to get a girl to perm her hair cause i told her she looks very
pretty with it.

Do many people dislike to recieve a compliment? The point is that a person (girl or boy) can take care of her/his body for a different reason than [only] trying to appeal to the other gender. I take care of my hair a lot, not because I want boys to go wouaah when they see it, but just because... I like my hair, and so take care of it.

Originally Posted by ChainLegacy

Those "techniques" certainly do work like a charm, probably even for the girls claiming otherwise. The secret to it is having sparks flying beforehand!

*Thinks about Armstrong from FMA*

Originally Posted by blue skies

True, but I hardly think playing with a girl's hair and then going in for the kill is going to get you a kiss in most cases. At least not from most of us. My reaction would be more like wtf, why are you touching my hair.

Same as me, but I get the feeling that I am more violent than you

Originally Posted by SaintessHeart

That sounds like fun! But here is an analogy I made that got me a detention plus a whole chunk of respect from my form teacher back in middle school.....

The girl you are dating is just like a toy which you do not own that you are playing with. Since you are the one playing with her, you have to bear the necessary responsibilities if anything happens. Don't worry about your toy if it is already broken, there is bound to be a way to repair it, if not, there is another way to play with it. It is how much fun you have with it that matters.

Tsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[bbduece]

Dating is undefine.

Figuring out how to stimulate the mind and the senses will bring you closer to victory.

One stratgey can be a sure thing for one person but it can also be a slap in the face for another (or worst).

Everything is situational.

Undstanding the person first before a mindless prememptive strike is usually safe way to tread.


My personal opinion: to the find the best mate is a combination of experience and luck.

experience = we learn from each other, know what we like and dislike,what we can handle and what we can not, learn a lot about what we really want and about ourselfs after dating someone, sometimes we learn what we don't want and break up.

Luck = hit and miss, actually finding that one person that we will click well with, someone that will take our crap and vice versa.

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by bbduece

Luck = hit and miss, actually finding that one person that we will click well with, someone that will take our crap and vice versa.

It's not just a matter of "taking each other's crap" - it's also about finding someone who you are willing to change for, and ideally who is willing to change for you, too. In that manner both people grow together and fully accommodate each other.

The reason why so many people have problems is because they forget that they need to give, too. If you're in a relationship and you're just expecting your mate to change and be perfect for you, you're selfish. If you're trying to change for your mate but feel that he or she is taking it for granted and/or not returning you the favor, you're being abused.

Above all, make sure that you can both talk to each other. In that manner, if you don't like something that your mate is doing, or if you feel that they aren't doing enough, then you can say it. It's equally important that they be able to say the same about you, of course - and you both must be able to give and accept such criticism graciously and thoughtfully, without getting hung up on petty feelings. Many people are seemingly incapable of this, and as a result of the blocked communication problems worsen and resentment builds.

Compatibility is temporary. We are all changing with time and our experiences. Even if you live with someone, the two of you can grow apart. Proper communication, honoring each other such that both want to please the other - that is the ideal scenario that leads to lasting compatibility, regardless of changes in personality and circumstance.

There is a lot of luck in being able to find a person capable of all of this, but there is also skill required. Interpersonal skills, communication, being able to give and receive criticism, to see beyond a minor altercation and put it into the context of the "big picture" (that which is truly important) - those are things that each of us can work on and prepare for in our daily lives.

[Kakashi]

Proper communication also helps to root out mismatches at an early stage - sounds much easier than marrying the wrong person and finding out a divorce is on the cards. A part of that is also holding on to integrity; dealing in lies will either prove catastrophic for an otherwise stable relationship or just protract one which was destined to failure.

[Kitsu]

But the proper communication is one of the bigger problems. Many children don't learn to actually express them and their feelings, which makes relationships sometimes really awkward and can lead to a really early ending

[Kakashi]

Yeah, but that's a part of growing up. You learn the beauty of telling the truth, that being honest both with yourself and others makes life easier in the long-run.

[DingoEnderZOE2]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

It's not just a matter of "taking each other's crap" - it's also about finding someone who you are willing to change for, and ideally who is willing to change for you, too. In that manner both people grow together and fully accommodate each other.

The reason why so many people have problems is because they forget that they need to give, too. If you're in a relationship and you're just expecting your mate to change and be perfect for you, you're selfish. If you're trying to change for your mate but feel that he or she is taking it for granted and/or not returning you the favor, you're being abused.

I agree 100% percent about with relationships it's not just about taking the crap of your partner but also about having the willingness to go through changes and improvements together....

I'm a strong believer of give and take in relationships, anything I receive from my partner I'm more then willing to return the favor.

However when I got into a discussion with the first person who I cared enough about to want to "change" myself, she shrugged it off saying it's stupid to change for anyone but yourself.....

[Deus_Ex_Obscurum]

Dating for my kind can often be difficult yet actually amazing simple.

I speak of Aspies and Autistics.

Often enough girls want to mother us since we are most definitely lost in the entire field of dating. Wether or not this proceeds towards full romantacism and not a fascimile of actual family relations is up to the Autistic in question.

Autistic Girls dating though...they can have a much rougher time of it if they do try and date outside the "community." Vulnerable as they are, it can be amazingly easy to be taken advantage of given their...and even the male autistics need to be loved and accepted by someone else.

I myself...never dated. No real desire to as of yet. I have yet to find a girl that can match me in the traits I find enjoyable and indeed, long for. That being...intelligence, autistic, confident, powerful in her own right...

*Shrugs*

Some may say my expectations are too high. But I like the women around me to be strong so I know they can survive and thrive on their own with or without me. I simply cannot stand wall-flowers.

[Mystique]

Originally Posted by Deus_Ex_Obscurum

Dating for my kind can often be difficult yet actually amazing simple.

I speak of Aspies and Autistics.

Mind breaking that term down a little more for me? As in definition and an example in relation to girls.

Some may say my expectations are too high. But I like the women around me to be strong so I know they can survive and thrive on their own with or without me. I simply cannot stand wall-flowers.

Hee hee, you're a guy who's very secure with himself then.
Women who are fairly independant mentally, financially and sometimes emotionally are known to threaten/scare guys in the sense of:
'I can't really protect her or provide for her, she seems to have it all already' :\
Add to that mix is she's stubborn and pro active and sometimes she becomes too 'dominant' for the guy. In that sense she takes care of everything, but not in the motherly way, more in the sense of 'you don't need to do anything, it's fine, I'll do it.'

Most times that not it's not meant to hurt the guy, it's their nature and they need the guy to be fairly stubborn/dominant enough to stop them in their tracks and go 'listen, we split things equally, sit your ass down' or something, lol.
But a lot of times, it just bruises the male ego and a guy feels as if he has nothing to contribute, just his self-confidence is shattered some.

Fairly sensitive thing, the male ego.
Somedays I still walk egg shells around it, but I trip up from time to time and say/do something that somehow bruises it.
Even if my intentions are good or kind, I'm still thinking as a woman so I cannot figure out how a guy may interpret something all the time.
Have yet to find a book to figure the path of walking correctly around it yet, still searching.

[Deus_Ex_Obscurum]

*Laughs* I'm odd like that. I like women to be equal to me. So I can feel confident that at the end of the day they will come come a-ok.

Alright...as for why it can be difficult. Aspies can be...to be blunt...very stupid when it comes to social cues and the like. So we may not pick up on the subtle nuances of conversation. However it can also be easy in that unlike normal people, we are that blunt so there's really no hidden agenda for us. Some may say we lack tact - I know I do - but yeah.

*Shrugs* And I know there's some things guys can do that women cannot. And the same is true for vice-versa.

[Mystique]

Okay to be blunt, I meant for you to break down the last sentence that i quoted from ya

I speak of Aspies and Autistics.

I'm aware of the latter but the way you grouped them together like that for a dating thread, makes me think:
'what characteristics is he referring to?'
More over, what do those two words mean in layman's terms?
Please define it simply for the clueless one here

[whitepearl]

Aspies = people with Asperger's Syndrome.

Asperger's severely hinders a person's ability to socialize or thrive in a social setting. They often have a very narrow range of interests and often find it more easy to socialize with like-minded individuals (mainly they get along fine with other Aspies).

Like Deus mentioned, Aspies don't pick up on social cues and they do tend to be rather blunt about things. I know someone who has Asperger's and he is as you describe; he is a bit slow, socially awkward and he says and does things that make us all scratch our heads.

[Deus_Ex_Obscurum]

*Smiles*

Asperger is High-Functioning Autism so it is appropriate to refer to Aspies as Autistics. Bit of a social faux pas considering most see Autistics as retarded people. (No offence but it can be a common stereo-type)

And yes...we are blunt. But that can make us excellent in a relationship because we will be truthful. Ask us if your ass looks big in that...you had best be prepared for the answer because we WILL give it.

Unfortunately, Aspergers is more common in men than women so it can be difficult to find Aspie women.

[Mystique]

Aaaah, thanks whitepearl and Dues. ^^
And heh, without offending too many people, I've noted the guys close to me as friends technically can all fall under that category of 'aspies'.
I've been growing up in the last 5 years under 'no sugar coating'; so as a result, I sometimes can be impatient with being sensitive to every, little, damn thing at times.
(takes too much time and life is too short)
In fact one of my favourite comedians is Carlos Mencia who is more or less "straight" in the way and I adore and am kinda used to offline.

To quote him:
Woman: Does my ass look big in this?
Man: No, your ass looks big in everything.
xD
(love him)

In that sense, you probably find women who've been raised in a similar environment as me (or just get another British, smart mouthed chick) >.>
Dark sarcasm, wicked sense of humour and a quick wit, may be the traits ideal for you for your future partner, in that sense, you'll probably find someone who'll complement you a bit easier than you think.

Eitherway, all the best ^^

[whitepearl]

Perfect example of Asperger's in action, with regards to the person I know: we all went to a baseball game last year where we saw the New York Mets play host to the visiting Chicago Cubs. Rather than sit with us and enjoy the game, he spent much of the time aimlessly walking around the stadium. I think he was only in his seat for three innings (at most) and I think he left early, too. I can't recall the finer details.

[npcomplete]

hmm... girlfriend -> girl friend? i.e. female buddy?

[King Lycan]

So I was at party yesterday and I saw this girl i had a crush on ..so i walk up to her.. started a lil conversation and her best friend (female) comes up and just cuts right in front of me and takes her away from me . I don't know if her Bff knows i like her but why would she do that ?

[arenine]

Originally Posted by King Lycan

So I was at party yesterday and I saw this girl i had a crush on ..so i walk up to her.. started a lil conversation and her best friend (female) comes up and just cuts right in front of me and takes her away from me . I don't know if her Bff knows i like her but why would she do that ?

it's a rescue tactic. don't take it too personally, but the bff is basically bringing the girl out of a situation where the girl isn't interested in the guy hitting on her.

[Miko Miko]

HELP ME ANIMESUKI!!!!

Problem:
This boy, he is a close friend of mine asked me out. I said yes. But its not what I want at all and he is happy and I'm not. I dont want to upset him and make him fall out with me. I don't know what to do.. Any help?