2011-11-19, 07:09 | Link #8421 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
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@ Zero - He's a father to his men but he's a dick to all suspects. Basically all sides are morally gray in their own way.
PT - Complete monster leaders but operatives are people they saved from horrible lives. FRACTURE - Well meaning people that sometimes go over the line and may act rashly which costs people. Irish's group - Doesn't kill civilians members tend to be people who were average joes who got screwed over by the IS. Perfectly willing to have a child through extreme pain and some members are obviously amoral. IS academy group - Helps people if they can but cause a LOT of propert damage and tend to very abusive during their worst moments. Tatenashi's group is the only one that's white
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Last edited by Eratas123; 2011-11-19 at 07:20. |
2011-11-19, 07:24 | Link #8423 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
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@ Zero - He's probably just busy either fixing your fic or doing assignments. He'll contact you soon
Side note - Irish's mother is a case of saving operatives: She managed to escape a horrible life and get a good life for her and her daughters. Irish being trapped in a death camp is an accident since she assumed PT would take care of him after he accidentally got caught in the blast. Guess that didn't work out so well....
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2011-11-19, 07:27 | Link #8424 |
I am no one
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
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Yes, well, just read this
Spoiler for Grim Dark:
This is too sudden and may not match the previous chapter's atmosphere (the dark element is insert here and there but still overshadowed by idealistic, happy-going teenage spirit) , and besides, I don't create Yoshi as Chaotic Neutral villain. <:3
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2011-11-19, 07:36 | Link #8427 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
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@ Zero - Just drop the killing parents thing. Everything else is fine and can be used to show that he's a guy who's been through a lot but still keeps pushing.
Side note - I should be able to finish Michael's chapter by tom. Would you mind reading it and give tips for improvements? I need to make it appropriate.
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2011-11-19, 07:42 | Link #8429 | |
That one guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
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Quote:
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2011-11-19, 07:48 | Link #8431 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
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@ Zero - So far I have:
Michael and his partner enter the building and cause the distraction. News report hits about the bombs in the conference hall. Michael asks his partner about it and he says it's part of Viktor's plan. Michael says it's crazy and gets held by gunpoint. Manages to overpower him and knock him out. Viktor's heard over the radio if the bomb they planted is safe. (Doesn't know Michael survived) Michael goes to bombs location and manages to disarm it. Gets shot in the side when the partner woke up and took a pot shot at him. Struggle for the gun and partner gets killed when impaled by broken glass. FRACTURE team led by Akira surround the building. Tries to get out (Hard due to gunshot wound) and tries to bypass the barrier. Akira tells him to stop but he becomes somewhat delirious due to loss of blood. Tries to show detonator but they assume he's going to detonate the bomb and Akira shoots him. POV ends with his death. What do you think? Is it okay?
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2011-11-19, 07:51 | Link #8433 |
I am no one
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
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@Eras
Yep, that'll work :3 @Demino That's what I think ridiculous as well, Yoshi and Chifuyu does hate their parents but there's no reason for them to kill anyone especially their own parents. If anyone is bored so to speak, it's Iori, Tabane's boyfriend, and evne him will chose more reasonable method than launching nuclear missile. As for OC names, it's just that, we creates OC for primary, secondary and tertiary characters, protagonist or antagonist. But God forbid they rob the spotlight from Main roster too much.
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2011-11-19, 07:56 | Link #8436 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
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@ Zero - I still hate writing shoot the shaggy dog stories Oh well, it's something the (few that I have) readers won't expect. The flashback chapters tend to be this since the POV is from people who obviously don't show up.
Charlotte's mother is one for the heroines side. Trying hard to fight off her sickness so her child wouldn't worry, but in the end it becomes too much for her and her last thoughts are trying to apologize to Charlotte for leaving her.
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2011-11-19, 08:00 | Link #8438 |
I am no one
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Inside your head
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Indeed but as I said I want to make Yoshi a protagonist, while his sanity is questionable, I want him to be a father figure to the twins, just like Chifuyu act as their mother.
Spoiler for God damn:
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Tags |
fanfic ideas, fanfiction, ff.net, harem, is fanfic, warning fanfic spoilers, wincest |
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