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Link #9841 | |
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 32
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The only thing he doesn't seem to understand (which could result from something along the autism spectrum) is how this girl might be feeling. He attempts to state multiple times what his intent in writing the email is (which does show that he's considering her interpretation), yet the overall email indicates and explains that he is hurt and upset. Despite that, he still welcomes a second date. Basically, he's already pegged her as being uninterested, then says things that would make her guilty, and also attempts to show why they would be compatible. I can't imagine how a second date would be anything but uncomfortable - for the girl, at least.
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Link #9842 |
Banned
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People with Aspergers are fairly logical, blunt, and straight-forward. So, from what he has gleaned from other information sources, he thinks that she might not be interested. But prefers a straightforward answer so he can move on. It could be that she just didn't see his messages or something else happened that she can't respond.
But Aspies also don't tend to realize how they come across, and thus do say and do things that sound creepy, but seem totally logical. Finding an e-mail address, for instance, is very easy. The internet has all your information, and sometimes it's just a matter of looking at your facebook page. From his logical standpoint: you put your information up online, so why would you get upset from someone looking at it? Aspies really think different, which is why it is so hard for mainstream people to empathize or understand them. If he really is an aspie, then he's being a normal straightforward person, and he really means what he says. The problem is that he doesn't know how he comes across to "normal" people. |
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Link #9843 |
Knight Errant
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Age: 29
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I have met an aspie once or twice in real life. I do have to say, they do seem a little bit "off". It's hard to describe. Somethings just not quite right. It's a kind of uncanny valley type thing.
That email did feel a bit like an aspergers might have wrote it. |
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Link #9844 | |
NYAAAAHAAANNNNN~
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 29
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The way they speak and converse, sometimes I wonder if they have a cerebral jack to upload all that stuff into their heads.
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Link #9847 | |
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 32
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Quote:
The classic example that I read about was a father whose son was autistic: the father taught the son to point at something when he wanted it, and the father would bring it to him. One day the father was out gardening, and he happened to peek inside the house and saw that his son was standing, alone in a room, his back to the window, pointing at a box of cookies. The entire concept that pointing was signaling to someone else was lost. This fellow Mike is unusual in that he seems to comprehend the girl's thoughts and feelings, but it's somewhat limited. His message all too quickly turns very centered around himself. Is it something on the autism spectrum, or pure selfishness/self-centeredness? Either way, whether people recognize and try to accommodate it, the prospects for a successful relationship seem slim.
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Link #9849 | |
Underweight Food Hoarder
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![]() -------------------- Dyslexia is very different from Aspergers in the scope of its effect. Dyslexia is closer to Tourettes in that it's really specific to spoken/written language. I wonder if any Aspies found someone of the opposite gender with the same disorder? If you're romantically incompatible with most people might as well. Just like a homosexual shouldn't force themselves in a relationship with someone heterosexual of the opposite gender. ----------------- </removed off topic> Last edited by Paranoid Android; 2011-12-13 at 09:04. |
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Link #9850 | |
Banned
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Your pointing example is a good one. There are many social rules that aren't really taught but are expected. Someone with Aspergers just really doesn't know or understand them; can probably be taught the rules, but won't really understand why. You see it with the letter; the guy knows something about eye contact and hair preening that he read online, but he doesn't know why. And he doesn't really understand the "I had a nice time" thing. There are all sorts of subtle clues that we give off with our bodies that we pick up consciously or subconsciously, that aid human communication. Someone with Aspergers just plain doesn't get them, which makes social interaction a mystery, as if they are witnessing people talking in a different language. |
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Link #9851 |
Love Yourself
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Northeast USA
Age: 32
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Maybe, but I still think there's more to it than that. Even though he claims that she seemed interested, he says straight out that "I assume you don't want to go out with me" near the beginning of his letter. He gets it. He may be confused about what happened between the end of the date and the present, but he has picked up on the "hints" about a lack of interest. So what compels him to write the rest of the message, and to continue pursuing this woman?
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Link #9858 |
I don't give a damn, dude
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In Despair
Age: 31
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If you've found yourself in a physically intimate position with a girl, that is, sitting close together and/or hugging and/or sitting on your lap etc., that's the right time to try a kiss. Otherwise, don't bother.
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Link #9859 |
Honyaku no Hime
![]() Join Date: May 2008
Location: In the eastern capital of the islands of the rising suns...
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And it depends on what we're on about here.
A sweet, simple semi chast 'good night' kiss? Or a full blown out snog on the sofa with tongues and all ![]()
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Link #9860 | |
Underweight Food Hoarder
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![]() ![]() Neck Nibbling of course. ------------- A kiss shouldn't be the goal of a first date. Only if it's plain out obviously both of you really want to kiss each other. Kissing easily becomes the norm after a few dates. First date is typically not the same as being a relationship. It's only the dates after that when your friend and his date can be considered in a relationship. Because there wouldn't be a second date if there's a problem. And once in that position, kissing isn't too big of a thing to think about, it'll come naturally. ------------------- Unless this is a speed-race game of who can take each others pants off first. Then I suggest getting advice from Simple Pickup. A trio devoted to making a fool out of themselves in front of girls. They have more balls than tub full of plastic balls in a children's playground. Spoiler for Irrelephant:
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Tags |
advice, break-ups, dating, dating after divorce, divorce, happiness, love, pairings, single dad, single mom |
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