Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[itanshi1]

I find the best way to mitigate a cliche is to either admit it and or good humor

[Satashi]

AlternativeS is on the back burner for Nanoha Christmas as well as Vicia lemon, and maybe a Vivuuno (yes, I went there) lemonade to get 00-raiser back in the game :P

[RadiantBeam]

At least you're giving some attention to your ViCia lemon.

*SHOT!*

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I repeat again: why not do holidays fics?

Ever see that one episode of The Simpsons, where Bart gets banned from seeing the Itchy and Scratchy movie, so he says "I don't need to see it. It can't compare to a 10 year old's imagination!" and then he imagines Itchy and Scratchy in his head, but they just stand there, doing nothing until they eventually just shrug at the camera. That's basically what I'm thinking of. So they sit at the table, eating a big dinner and... uh... yeah, that's all I've got. I've told you how my family gatherings go before, RB. It's basically just inane chatter, and I can't think up inane chatter to save my life x_x Certainly doesn't help that I hate inane chatter.

I do have one idea based on Christmas time, but I'm hesitant to do it because it's basically the same thing Tempest's last few fics were about. There's only so many ways you can care for some one with a cold...

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

And if you just have small moments in time, why not create a drabble dump?

I was considering that, but I don't have much for a decent amount of drabbles. Well, here's something I did just now:

Big text cuz I wanna draw attention. I also like blue.

Spoiler for Sacrifices:

Yuuno looked up from the volume of Encyclopaedia of Polyilopcanica he was searching through as the door to his office creaked open. Sure enough, in entered his usual visitor.

“Good evening, Yuuno-san.” Vivio greeted.

“Good evening, Vivio.” He greeted back.

“Another busy night?” She asked.

“Kind of.” He replied. “I just need to find a particular piece of information for some one, and then I have to start packing.”

“Packing?” The girl blinked. “Are you going somewhere?”

“I got called out on an emergency dig.” He smiled apologetically. “I’ll be gone for the rest of the week.”

“Oh…” Vivio lowered her gaze. “I guess I couldn’t accompany you on that, could I?”

“Sorry, but you still have school, right?”

“My break doesn’t start until next week.” She sighed. “So then I won’t be able to see you for a while…”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, Yuuno-san.” Vivio said back, her voice betraying her disappointment. “As I said before, I know how important your work is, so I don’t mind. But… I guess you really don’t need my help with anything right now, do you?”

“I have pretty much everything under control.” He nodded. “So you should just head on home.”

“Oh…” Her gaze fell further. “Ok, I guess I’ll go… I wouldn’t want to get in your way. Have a safe trip, Yuuno-san.” She said before making a quick retreat.

Yuuno blinked as he watched her go, wondering if perhaps he had sent the wrong message. ‘I just didn’t want her to be bored waiting around here for me.’ He thought. ‘I didn’t think she’d be in the way…’

“I just want to spend time with you.” He suddenly remembered her saying.

“… Oh.” He sighed as he put his hand over his face. “Way to go, Yuuno.”

His job always seemed to get in the way in one form or the other. The women he had dated previously had stormed off with a “You care more about your job than you do me!” after a few weeks and that was the end of those relationships. While Yuuno had genuinely liked some of those women, he just couldn’t bring himself to put them above his love of knowledge. Vivio was different, though. She shared his love of knowledge and she understood him, saying she would be willing to bear with his busy schedule and be with him when she could.

But that’s far too one-sided, he realised. She was willing to deal with it for the sake of the relationship, but what was he doing about it? Was it really ok for Vivio to be the only one making sacrifices?

Of course it wasn’t!

“Ms Smith.” He said as he activated his intercom.

“What can I do for you, professor?” His secretary replied.

“Cancel all my appointments for next week.”

“What? But that’s not…”

“Please do it.” He instructed before he disconnected.

His job had always harmed his relationships, but he’d be damned if he let it ruin this one.

Hey, I even managed to get it to 500 words exactly!

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I think you're underestimating just how badly one's feelings can be hurt. I've seen two perfectly rational, intelligent people have the biggest, loudest misunderstandings possible, and somehow they manage to resolve it and love each other when the sun rises the next day. It isn't a relationship without the misunderstandings and daily arguments over small things.

I still can't see what Vivio or Yuuno could get mad about. I have no idea what couples fight about, as all my parents ever raise their voices over are us kids. The only time we ever see Yuuno angry is when Chrono teases him and I have a hard time seeing Vivio getting mad because Yuuno didn't pick up his socks. They've known each other long enough that I imagine they'd know each others quirks and be used to them. Only point of contention I can see is how much Yuuno works, but Vivio's already said she's ok with it. And again, I've already used the biggest problem there could be, so I've pretty much written myself into a corner.

I'm not trying to continually shoot down your ideas. They're all good ideas and I will keep them in mind, but I just can't seem to think of what to do with them.

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

You've put me on a pedestal I don't deserve to be on.

No, you deserve to be there. You should give yourself more credit. Your work is popular and well liked because it's good. Just by looking at FF.net, your stuff gets plenty of reviews while mine are lucky enough to get 1. I don't know how many hits they get, but I bet you they're way higher than mine. I know this doesn't mean my stuff is bad, but more in the "decent - good" range while you are in the "great - awesome" range. Granted there are several confounding factors here, such as I'm writing a straight pairing in a predominantly yuri fandom, and the fact that lots of people hate Yuuno, and hate me in particular for various reasons.

I know that you guys here care since you're taking the time out to comment on the flaws of my stuff in hopes I can make improvements. But, and I know this is a bit of a selfish request, can I hear what you actually like about my stuff so far? What aspects do you think I did really well on? Hearing where I need improvement is good, but if I know where I excell, then I can focus on doing more of that because I can do it well. I know the "if we don't comment it means there's no mistakes to point out" deal, but it still helps to hear something, you know? Like, I think only one person (I forget who) commented on Misstep here and said it was good. But then Alavon leaves a review on FF.net saying it was hilarious, which is actually bad because it was supposed to be serious. So something you liked might actually be a criticism.

Originally Posted by Satashi

and maybe a Vivuuno (yes, I went there) lemonade to get 00-raiser back in the game :P

Thanks, that would mean a lot to me.

I thought we had settled on "Vino", though

[spawnofthejudge]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

I thought we had settled on "Vino", though

Thinking of Vivio and Yuuno as "Wine" would be weird in the extreme.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by spawnofthejudge

Thinking of Vivio and Yuuno as "Wine" would be weird in the extreme.

That's fittingly symbolic, actually, as Yuuno is quite old, and we know wine is better the older it is. Then there's Vivio, who's only 16 at first and thus not legal to drink, nor is it really legal for her to do anything with Yuuno without it being statutory rape

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

That's fittingly symbolic, actually, as Yuuno is quite old, and we know wine is better the older it is. Then there's Vivio, who's only 16 at first and thus not legal to drink, nor is it really legal for her to do anything with Yuuno without it being statutory rape

And right there you have potential for a fic.

I'm serious. Vivio is sixteen when they start dating, right? Which means that at the time, Yuuno is twenty-nine. You're working with a huge, major age difference and aren't even addressing one of the biggest problems they could face: Vivio might be afraid that she's too young to relate to Yuuno, or Yuuno might be afraid that he's too old to relate to the high school problems Vivio goes through. It's a major age difference, and the people who can be most insecure about it are the people involved.

And why not show how Lio and Corona handled the news? Even if Yuuno is considered a school idol, considering him your helpful sensei and seeing him as your best friend's boyfriend are two totally different things.

Right there you have at least two story ideas that could develop into full blown fics, once fleshed out properly, and would give background and details to them as a couple and how they're so comfortable together by the time Vivio is eighteen.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I'm serious. Vivio is sixteen when they start dating, right? Which means that at the time, Yuuno is twenty-nine. You're working with a huge, major age difference and aren't even addressing one of the biggest problems they could face: Vivio might be afraid that she's too young to relate to Yuuno, or Yuuno might be afraid that he's too old to relate to the high school problems Vivio goes through. It's a major age difference, and the people who can be most insecure about it are the people involved.

I have to ask, but what are some high school problems? I mean the only things I was concerned about in high school were my grades and finding a date. Vivio has both of those things covered, so are there some female specific problems? I'm a guy so I wouldn't know.

[Rising Dragon]

While I can't really say for sure, one problem schoolgirls have to deal with in high school, especially popular ones, is their reputation.

[Keroko]

... Somehow miss 'buried in the library' Vivio doesn't strike me as a girl who worries about that. Minds, maybe. A bit. Worries? Not really.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Keroko

... Somehow miss 'buried in the library' Vivio doesn't strike me as a girl who worries about that. Minds, maybe. A bit. Worries? Not really.

I agree, but I think I can still use that.

A situation that comes to mind is Yuuno being brought to hang out with Vivio and her friends, but he feels horribly out of place while they chat about 'teenage girly' things. Now what exactly would be part of this 'teenage girly talk' I don't know. I can only think of stereotypical stuff like shopping or fashion magazines or whatever. Well, I guess Vivio and her circle of friends have Strike Arts to talk about too.

[Rising Dragon]

Well, like I said, I'm not sure. I'm only giving out possible suggestions.

[Allquall]

Originally Posted by Keroko

... Somehow miss 'buried in the library' Vivio doesn't strike me as a girl who worries about that. Minds, maybe. A bit. Worries? Not really.

You can't see Vivio pulling a "Sandra Dee" and teasing her hair till she rides off with Syn in the Bad-girl-with-a-heart-of-gold's convertible waving to her gaggle of friends?

You're the one that I want~ VIV-I-O~
The one that I want~

[TheShinySword]

Excuse me I have to

Spoiler for Teenage girly talk for 00-Raiser:

"OMIGOD," Corona slammed her hands on the table, "Did you see that cute BOY over there."

"Like which one?" Rio looked around trying to pick them out.

"The hot blonde next to the brunette cutie~~~~"

"Omimimimimimimi gawwwwwd is he like looking at me?!?!" Vivio squealed to the misery of everyone around her.

"No waaaay he's totally looking at meeeeeeeee!" Corona shouted.

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Actually I was looking at that hunk behind you," The blond hottie winked at the guy behind them and left the room.

Corona and Vivio looked at one another.

"...Well the brunette's cute too."

*cough*

Well as a teenage girl I do believe I can help you. Today I've talked about:

Books
Politics
Hats
Falling out of Trees
Math
History
Chess
Boardgames
Girls
Boys
Sex
A very long and immature conversation about wood.
Anime
Puppies
Drugs
Thoreau

And so on and so forth. In other words, conversation is based on the people and what they're doing and then influenced by age not the other way around,

[Satashi]

Vivio's problems:

1.)No one outside of her friends understanding her

2.) Popular, very pretty, and smart. People are too shy to talk to her

3.) People are worried she will beat them up if they make her mad

4.) People avoid her because of Nanoha "the White Devil" 's wrath. We know she won't do it, but all they know is she blows stuff up easily and without hesitation.

5.) Vivio knowing a lot and being bored in school, which could lead her to skipping class. Not for fun, but to read about more interesting stuff.

Nanoha: *reads letter* you skipped school!?
Vivio: I was in the library reading about advanced physics! They were teaching algebra! I learned that four years ago!

6.) Yuuno worrying that Vivio isn't getting enough "high school life"
-Seriously, he could really worry about robbing Vivio of her youthful years. She spends time with him instead of parties, dances, sports games, ect. Imagine that conversation...

Vivio rolled her eyes. "I don't want to go to the football game, its boring."

Yuuno calmly shelved a few books he was carrying while talking to her. "Yes, but its important to be social."

"I'm social with my strike arts."

"With your team, yes, but not with other people in your grade." The male looked over his shoulder. "You haven't been going to parties either, have you?"

"Not interested."

"How do you know unless you go? Why not call up the girls and take a night out to just have fun?"

Vivio puffed her cheeks. "Our ideas of having fun are reading books together while discussing them or watching the history channel!"

Realizing that he was approaching the line, Yuuno tried to rethink what he was saying. "I know that, I was the same way, I just don't want you to grow up and look back on your highschool life and wish you had done more."

"I'm doing what I like," Vivio put a hand on her hip. "Can't you see that?"

"I can, but you arn't seeing my view. I'm where you will be, and I've been where you are now."

"I'm mature enough to-"

"that's just it," Yuuno rubbed the bridge of his nose. "You're eighteen, not thirty-two-"

and so on.

7.) guys hitting on Vivio. If they arn't scared away from Vivio's reputation. Imagine the leader of the local sports team wants to date Vivio and he's a stereotypical jock who won't take no for an answer. Vivio won't beat him up, she's too mature for that, but with her personality, she would be too nice to make her point clear. misunderstandings in highschool lead to rumors, which lead to overhearing, which leads to more rumors, which eventually gets to Yuuno as "Vivio is dating this person" and while he won't think she's cheating on him, it would still bother him since he isn't the ideal person for her due to his age.

8.) Parents. If Nanoha and Fate are a couple, then it goes without saying that Yuuno is her absolute best friend. She would spend time with him, make him dinner, have him stay the night, offer to protect him on digs where there are dangers, ect. Now all of a sudden Vivio is dating him. Nanoha can feel like she's losing her friend.

"Want to have dinner with us tonight?" Nanoha asked happily while checking her dishes on the stove.

"thanks but I already ate with Vivio. Now I need to head home and finish preparing for tomorrow."

"A dig?"

"Yes, big one too. there are a tribe of people nearby that have been giving the people there trouble as well."

Nanoha smiled. "Oh. Well I can come for a few days, I havn't taken leave in-"

"No, no, its okay," Yuuno waved it off. "Vivio is coming with me, she can protect us."

"Oh... Well then, should I pack your things? You're really bad about not bringing enough clothes."

Yuuno laughed. "Really, I'm good. Vi's already got me covered.

"Oh... I see..." Nanoha looked down, feeling a weird sense of loss in her chest. "Well... Have a good-"

"yuuno-san!" vivio's voice came as the teen walked into the house. "I saw your car out side, what are you doing here?"

And thus, Nanoha feels a little left out.

And many more

[00-Raiser]

Thanks, Satashi, but I kinda can't use 6 or 8 because you just pretty much wrote them yourself x.o Unless you're saying I can use what you wrote and add onto it.

[spawnofthejudge]

Satashi's idea 8 sounds like it'd be fun to explore. The Mistress of Friendship By Superior Firepower starts feeling like she's losing one of her friends... Sounds like it would hit her quite hard.

There's also the humor route on this: "I never beamspammed Yuuno! That must be why..."

[Nijiru]

One problem Satashi forgot to mention, Vivio is the reincarnation of the head of the largest religion in the TSAB.
That's not going to have any affect on how she's treated at school. Naw, not at all. :P

One problem I could see Yuuno having is related to the age difference that RB mentioned. Not just that Vivio is dating someone much older than her, but that Yuuno is "robbing the cradle", as it were.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Nijiru

One problem Satashi forgot to mention, Vivio is the reincarnation of the head of the largest religion in the TSAB.
That's not going to have any affect on how she's treated at school. Naw, not at all.

So far? No, no it doesn't. It seems they're keeping the whole Reborn Jesus thing under wraps, which is understandable if you want to let the girl live a normal life.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Nijiru

One problem I could see Yuuno having is related to the age difference that RB mentioned. Not just that Vivio is dating someone much older than her, but that Yuuno is "robbing the cradle", as it were.

That's something I was talking about with RB. I don't see Lindy, Shiro, or Momoko having a major problem, considering their own romantic situations (especially Lindy getting knocked up at 17). Chrono, maybe, arching an eyebrow and making snide remarks, but that's about it.

Why does this cast have to be so accepting of everything, damnit?

Page Claim for brainstorming, I guess