[Spoilers] What a Naruto character would never say

[Kouji]

Sakura: And so I was saying, Naruto's a total freakin idiot.
Ino: You don't say.
Sakura: Yeah, he's a freakin idiot. I hate him so much

*Naruto nearby*

*Naruto steps in*

Naruto: So, I'm a freakin idiot, a loser to you huh?
Sakura: Why Naruto, I didn't mean
Naruto: Please, I just heard you gossip to Ino. You told her I was nothing, that I was an idiot.
Sasuke; Idiot Sakura and you call Naruto your team mate. I should've picked another girl for our team.

[hobobaggins]

Sasuke: .. ... ... HAHAHAHAHA! naruto i dont think you noticed what was in YOUR boba tea!

Naruto: Oh god...

Sasuke: hahahaa! i milkshaked you bitch!

Naruto: thank god i switched glasses

Sasuke: WHAT?

Naruto: you heard me.

Sasuke: then this is... this is...

Naruto: yeah. it is.

Sasuke: *clutches throat, gags*

Naruto: ... ... whats so wrong with diet pepsi?

Sasuke: what! this is diet pepsi? this doesnt look like pepsi at all! this looks like boba!

Naruto: you milkshaked it remember?

Sasuke: oh whew. i thought you switched it with sakura's. *takes sip*

Naruto: Uh... oh...

Kakashi: *slurring words, extremly drunk*

Naruto: did you put alchohol in it?

Sasuke: err... no... sakura's is Super carbed up to gain some poundage if you know what i mean

Naruto: .. ... i wonder what is in my drink...

Sakura: *somewhere else* hehe... i put a "love guys" potion in naruto's drink SASUKE WILL BE MINE!!!

SAsuke: thats funny. i dont feel any different.

Sakura: what are you doing here? anyway. i put that in naruto's drink.

Sasuke: hmm... ... that potion doesnt taste like anything... ...

Sakura: what? now sasuke will like guys?

Sasuke: what do you mean by NOW?

Sakura: ... .. damn.

*meanwhile*

Naruto: whats in my drink... it doesnt taste like boba

Hobobaggins: hahaha! i have bled ramen girl! you are drinking her blood!!!

Naruto: oh. well. thats it.

Hobobaggins: thats it? you arent gonna gag or anything?

Naruto: nah. i do that all the time. picked up the habit from Akiha (Shingetsutan Tsukihime)

Hobo: *sob*

[PerniciousJuJu]

^I like that! hehehe


Naruto: Go Sasuke it's your birthday! We fonna party like it's your Birthday! And u know we don't give a sh!t coz it's ur birthday!!

Sakura to Sasuke: Imma Slaaaaaave for you! I cannot hold it, I cannot control it~! (Oh wait, she probably would say that!) ^_^;;

Sasuke about Naruto: He's so lucky he's a star but he cries cries cries in his lonely heart thinking if there's nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night.

[pathyfinder]

Sasuke " Brother I've been so worried, I'm glad your ok, I forgive you!" *Bear hug* "I have my happy place back now" *cracks a REAL smile*

Sakura "F this scene, I'm going with Naruto now, at least HE has some power and doesn't have all these family issues to deal with either"

Kakashi "never thought of that before, it isn't like if she married Naruto that his mom would disapprove or anything like that"

[cdkobasiuk]

Originally Posted by pathyfinder

Sasuke " Brother I've been so worried, I'm glad your ok, I forgive you!" *Bear hug* "I have my happy place back now" *cracks a REAL smile*

Sakura "F this scene, I'm going with Naruto now, at least HE has some power and doesn't have all these family issues to deal with either"

Kakashi "never thought of that before, it isn't like if she married Naruto that his mom would disapprove or anything like that"

:OT: I always said smart peo9ple marry orphens so they don't have to worry about inlaws

:IT:

Jiraiya in his best Tom Jones voice:

Well she's all you'd ever want,
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.
Well she always knows her place.
She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.
She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady.

[pathyfinder]

Originally Posted by cdkobasiuk

Jiraiya in his best Tom Jones voice:

Well she's all you'd ever want,
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.
Well she always knows her place.
She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.
She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady.

Ladies of WACWNS thread toss panties
*uhm, I have to go do.... something*

Naruto: Hey Sasuke, let's make a pact! If I die first you can have Kyuubi, if you die first then I get your Sharingan Eyes *(I'll give the other to the highest bidder)*

Sasuke: "ok"

[Kouji]

Sasuke " Brother I've been so worried, I'm glad your ok, I forgive you!" *Bear hug* "I have my happy place back now" *cracks a REAL smile*

Itachi: I forgive you bro and all the things I did to the Leaf village, I mean what the heck was I thinking.

[pathyfinder]

Originally Posted by Kouji

Itachi: I forgive you bro and all the things I did to the Leaf village, I mean what the heck was I thinking.

ahem, this has been said already

Naruto It's time for my heartworm pill

[Kouji]

Sasuke: I choose you, Manda! Go!

[Kaoru]

Omg Reise that was funny! Liked the weasel pun.
LOL Slade! Must be why Oro left Akatsuki as Kabuto couldn't stop taking large quantities of Ninja Viagra. Panty-no-jutsu for when you can't get those darn bandages off.

Itachi I came back looking for a puppy. Wtf is this that I have to go thru an interview before I purchase a new pet?

Asuma Because you need the dental. Have you looked at our yearly packages? One Kyuubi for a 2 yrs, comes with a 6 month warranty in case of sealing jutsus.

Kurenai Only $599.95, buy in the next 5 minutes and get a free Hunter's spoon!

Sharky Does it like fish?

Itachi I only have 4 bucks, screw this BYaku...Sharingan!!

[Kouji]

Rad (TF Armada): Screw this, I'm gonna join Naruto's team
Naruto: Why the sudden change
Optimus: Yeah, thought you like working for my team.
Rad: I do, it's just that I want more action. Like in fighting.
Sasuke: Well you've come to the right place
HotShot: lucky, I pitty you Rad
Rad: hehe

[Bronwen Stx]

Kisame *excited*: Ooh ooh, Itachi-chan, Itachi-chan, there's a pig over there! Can I shred it to pieces?

Itachi *shrug*: Don't over do it, I get diarrhea from the mere smell of the raw meat.

[Slade]

I should be writing my 5 page paper right now... but why when it only counts as 30% of my grade? It'll get done sooner or later



Holy crap Slade doing a word parody!

DONT READ RIGHT TO LEFT


Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura are on a plane that's going down and there is no parachutes

Sasuke: Well guys, looks like this is it. I mind as well come out clean now. I'm sorry for being an arrogant jackass, I was just trying to hide my homosexuality by acting tough...

Naruto: I also have something to confess... I've been taking supplements to get myself hyped up... I don't have nine-tails... I just take a whole bottle of Ninja Viagra to give me the extra edge that I need....

Sakura: *sniff* My forehead... I've done plastic surgery on it 15 times to get it as large as I can!! I just wanted to have the biggest forehead in the world... is that really so much to ask..!?!?!

*Sasuke and Naruto Hugs Sakura*

Together: You do have the largest forehead in the world Sakura...

Sakura: *sniff* thank you guys...

*All of a sudden a genie appears before them*

Genie: Because of your heart filled honesty, I will grant you all a wish so you may get off this plane alive. Just jump off the plane yelling out what you want to become and surely enough, you will become it!

*Naruto and Gang rejoice*

Sakura: Yes!! I'll go first!!

*Sakura runs and jumps off the plane*

Sakura: Raven!!

*Surely enough Sakura turns into the Raven... the book by Edgar Allen Poe and continues to fall*

Naruto: Holy shiet!! The genie is fuking evil!! We gotta be careful!!

Sasuke: Hah, no mere genie can fool me!!

*Sasuke runs and jumps off the plane*

Sasuke: Itachi!!!!!

*Sasuke turns into a weasel and continues to fall*

Naruto: What... WHAT THE HELL!? Even if he had turned into the real Itachi, he wouldn't be able to fly!!!? It doesn't make any sense!!!

*The genie says to Naruto with a smurk on his face*

Genie: The plane will crash soon, make your wish off the plane....

Naruto: Errrg...

*Naruto goes into deep thought...*

Naruto: Hah!! I got the perfect wish!! No one can twist this against me!!

*Naruto runs and jumps off but hits his head on the door way and falls*

Naruto: Crap!!!!

*Naruto thinks for a second*

Naruto: Ah... shit........

[pathyfinder]

Thanks Slade I needed that! LOL Thank you very much.

[Kouji]

Kagome: (falls through the time well) Owww! Were am I.
Tsunade: You alright ms.?
Kagome: Uh, yeah. Do you know where I am
Tsunade: This' the world of Naruto
Shikamaru: Whoa, she looks hot! *looks at Kagome*
Sasuke: She's mine dude
Shika: Nah, I don't think so

[Kaoru]

LMAO Slade!! Ahh! I couldn't get it at first, but now that I know NOT to read right to left, it makes more sense!

For some reason hitting my head on the door is something that I would end up doing.



Jiraiya Did you see what Kakashi was reading? How dare he betray me by reading The Scarlet Letter! Doesn't he know I have Come Come Adultery already out? My only customer, it's the end of me! Where's my f***ing Ninja Viagra?!

Naruto Ero-jiji? Don't you rip off every classical literature and pervertize it by putting Come Come at the beginning?

Jiraiya Just shutup and get me a beer!

*soon to come to a Borders and Amazon.com near you--Come Come Juliet. A ninja's modern version of a classic love tale turned steamy with henges abound, now get tube of KY with every purchase*

[Kouji]

Naruto: What the hell, why is there a portal near the entrance of Leaf village?
Shikamaru: Who knows
Cloud: *walks through the portal*
Sakura: Man, he looks hot *looks at Cloud, Inner Sakura: Hell yeah, love conquers all. Sakura why don't you take him?*
Ino: He's mine, Sakura
Sakura: He's mine dang it. And that's final *cat fight*
Cloud: Ladies, both of you can have me

[hobobaggins]

How many narutos does it take to change a lightbulb?
Kagebunshin: 1000
Discounting Bunshins: 3

one to get the ramen,
another to steal ramen girl
the last to change the lightbulb

how many kakashis does it take to change a lightbulb?

none: at home he covers both eyes.

How many kakashi's does it take to change someone else's lightbulb?

none... that you see.

how many shikamaru's does it take to change a lightbulb?

however many shikamarus it takes to figure out a kagemane you can do without standing up.

[Kouji]

*falls down laughing* That's the funniest I've ever heard.

Shikamaru: Oro's to dumb to know that he's a bad guy
Orichimaru: (in gay voice) I'm not bad
Kouji: It's like my buddy said, baka. Your too dumb and stupid
Shika/Kouji:
Sakura: Damn, straight

[Riese]

Kaoru-san I hope you enjoyed Sakura's...backfiring too. Hee hee!! Hobo milkshaked. Damn that's f**ked up. Damn, what have I started!
Slade Great photochop as always! I'm suprised more people haven't used the free feel Kabuto copped.

To continue the puppy storyline:
Itachi: What's this. A stray? Hmm...Has a collar. "Black Hayate."
::looks around...No one's there::
"Mine!"

Sharky: What's that wriggling in your coat?!

Itachi: Nothing...um...Just jerking off.

Sharky: Up by your neck? ((goddamn, NO ONE has a dick that long...))

Itachi: Umm.....Shit. *MANGE SHARINGAN* For the next 32 hours, you're just...going to...uh...see...everyone jerking off! No dogs here!
::cuddles Black Hayate::
================================================== ========
For all you perverts out there:

Kakashi: Shoot, you blocked my 10,000 years of pain! And now I'm all bent over...and open to attack....

Sharky: Hee hee, when I use the Samehada, It's 10 *billion* years of Pain.

-----
Konohamaru: Legend has it that if we meditate with a stick up our ass and get really quiet, we can still hear him screaming from the moon....