Claymore Fanfiction Discussion

[emu777]

Originally Posted by Fenrir_valindri

Decided to post the story, Tempest isn't on so he cannot read his yet.

Be Gentle, first OC story.

Spoiler for Experimental story:

The Failure: Chapter 1: Meeting


They called me a failure.

My hair had not changed color completely after the operation.

I was not the only one; there were other failures as well.

Why did we fail, when so many others succeeded?

The Organization kept close watch on all of us, failure or not.

They were being careful; this was the first time anything like this had ever been done after all.

To think, we are forced to take on the flesh and blood of our enemy in order to defeat them.

I could still feel it, a second heartbeat; a heartbeat that was not human, it felt strange

having a heart that beat a split second after your own, but it was something I would have to get used to.

Even we failures had a purpose.

They pitted us against each other, to test our strength, it was obvious all of us were much stronger then before but some were much stronger then others.

The “successes” easily defeated the “failures” every failure except one.

Myself.

I had defeated all comers, I was better then everyone they had put me up against so far.

The “successes” looked at me with hate, they all believed that they should have been victorious.

That they should have been able to defeat a mere “failure.”

I was standing their, patiently awaiting the next person they would send against me, the next person to whom I would prove that I was no mere “failure.”


My opponent enter the ring, his long white hair swaying, his silver eyes focusing upon mine.

I could tell, he would not underestimate me like the others had, that much was certain.

He was handsome, at least by most standards, although I am certain many would consider him “feminine.”

He held himself like a noble, a former knight perhaps?

We stood their a few moments, analyzing each other, searching for weakness.

I found none.

He smiled.

“Begin” said a voice from outside the Arena.

I was a blur, I still found it surprising how much faster I was then before.

Remembering back on it now, I was so slow, so weak, so human.

I shot a fist forward, wishing to test my opponents strength, some of my previous fights had ended with this first blow.

He caught it easily, and I found myself flying back wards, the wind knocked out from my lungs.

How?! I did not even see him move!

I rolled midair, landing on my feet.

A split-second had passed.

He was still smiling, 20 feet away.

I charged again, this time coming in low.

I saw it this time, a kick, a mere blur, even to my silver eyes.

I managed to block it, but the force still drove me back 5 feet.

This time he did not wait for me to recover.

“Fast!” was the only thought that registered in my mind.

His entire body was a blur now, he rained blow after blow upon my quickly deteriorating defense.

I needed to do something, fast.

I barely dodged one blow, grabbed his arm, and shoulder rammed him.

That smile disappeared for a split second, pain replacing it it, but the smile reinserted itself quickly.

My stomach was already in pain from the first kick; I think it was a kick anyway, and my arms were screaming at me from blocking his attacks, but none of that prepared me for what happened next.

He grabbed my shoulders as we were falling, and before I could react, lifted his knee straight into my chest.

A flash of pain, and then darkness.

I regained consciousness a few moments later; I was on the floor.

I had lost; a failure once more.

“Hey” an unfamiliar voice spoke.

I looked up, it was him.

“That was a good fight; you are the first person so far to catch me off guard like that.”

He said with a different smile, one of kindness, on his face.

I looked at him for a moment, my mind trying to register the praise he had given me.

“My name is Isley, Isley from Alfonse, what is your name?” he said offering me his hand.

I stared at his hand for a moment.

I decided to accept it.

“I am Zeru, from nowhere in particular, and it is a pleasure to meet you, Isley of Alfonse.”

That was how we met, the so-called-failure, and the man who would one day be the strongest of the Organization’s male warriors.

It is short, but I wrote it up pretty quickly, and the next chapter should be longer, maybe, hopefully.

A good start but a you stated already fenrir, a trifle short. I really do look forward to your progress on this story and hope you can update/finish it quickly so as not to leave your reader in suspense

[Tempest35]

Ah don't worry, it will be epic once we're done with it. Not as epic as 'Silver Grey' but hopefully pretty darn close. And I find it hilarious that Mechalich is using a character from Valkryie Profile 2: Silmeria in it.

[Fenrir_valindri]

Added on to the ending a bit, reworked an Idea that tempest gave me.

[Bikerider]

Slowly my 25th Claymore fanfic is coming together.
That is... my fanfic about the 25th Claymore that was supposed to go to the North, but didn't make it due to "inconvienent" Youma battles on her way there.

[emu777]

Originally Posted by Fenrir_valindri

Decided to post the story, Tempest isn't on so he cannot read his yet.

Be Gentle, first OC story.

Spoiler for Experimental story:

The Failure: Chapter 1: Meeting


They called me a failure.

My hair had not changed color completely after the operation.

I was not the only one; there were other failures as well.

Why did we fail, when so many others succeeded?

The Organization kept close watch on all of us, failure or not.

They were being careful; this was the first time anything like this had ever been done after all.

To think, we are forced to take on the flesh and blood of our enemy in order to defeat them.

I could still feel it, a second heartbeat; a heartbeat that was not human, it felt strange

having a heart that beat a split second after your own, but it was something I would have to get used to.

Even we failures had a purpose.

They pitted us against each other, to test our strength, it was obvious all of us were much stronger then before but some were much stronger then others.

The “successes” easily defeated the “failures” every failure except one.

Myself.

I had defeated all comers, I was better then everyone they had put me up against so far.

The “successes” looked at me with hate, they all believed that they should have been victorious.

That they should have been able to defeat a mere “failure.”

I was standing their, patiently awaiting the next person they would send against me, the next person to whom I would prove that I was no mere “failure.”


My opponent enter the ring, his long white hair swaying, his silver eyes focusing upon mine.

I could tell, he would not underestimate me like the others had, that much was certain.

He was handsome, at least by most standards, although I am certain many would consider him “feminine.”

He held himself like a noble, a former knight perhaps?

We stood their a few moments, analyzing each other, searching for weakness.

I found none.

He smiled.

“Begin” said a voice from outside the Arena.

I was a blur, I still found it surprising how much faster I was then before.

Remembering back on it now, I was so slow, so weak, so human.

I shot a fist forward, wishing to test my opponents strength, some of my previous fights had ended with this first blow.

He caught it easily, and I found myself flying back wards, the wind knocked out from my lungs.

How?! I did not even see him move!

I rolled midair, landing on my feet.

A split-second had passed.

He was still smiling, 20 feet away.

I charged again, this time coming in low.

I saw it this time, a kick, a mere blur, even to my silver eyes.

I managed to block it, but the force still drove me back 5 feet.

This time he did not wait for me to recover.

“Fast!” was the only thought that registered in my mind.

His entire body was a blur now, he rained blow after blow upon my quickly deteriorating defense.

I needed to do something, fast.

I barely dodged one blow, grabbed his arm, and shoulder rammed him.

That smile disappeared for a split second, pain replacing it it, but the smile reinserted itself quickly.

My stomach was already in pain from the first kick; I think it was a kick anyway, and my arms were screaming at me from blocking his attacks, but none of that prepared me for what happened next.

He grabbed my shoulders as we were falling, and before I could react, lifted his knee straight into my chest.

A flash of pain, and then darkness.

I regained consciousness a few moments later; I was on the floor.

I had lost; a failure once more.

“Hey” an unfamiliar voice spoke.

I looked up, it was him.

“That was a good fight; you are the first person so far to catch me off guard like that.”

He said with a different smile, one of kindness, on his face.

I looked at him for a moment, my mind trying to register the praise he had given me.

“My name is Isley, Isley from Alfonse, what is your name?” he said offering me his hand.

I stared at his hand for a moment.

I decided to accept it.

“I am Zeru, from nowhere in particular, and it is a pleasure to meet you, Isley of Alfonse.”

That was how we met, the so-called-failure, and the man who would one day be the strongest of the Organization’s male warriors.

-----------------------------------

Two shadowy figures stood nearby, in the observational part of the Arena.

"Impressive, both of them."

"Yes, very much so."

"Their names?"

"The winner is Isley, he appears to be one of our more successful ones, if not the most successful one."

"Interesting, and the other?"

"Zeru, he was originally a write-off, we thought he would perform poorly at first, but it appears he is worthy to continue to the next phase."

"Good, I am most interested to see how that one will turn out"

"It is rare for you to take an interest in one of our test subjects, Rubel"

"Is it really a surprise that I would root for an underdog Ermita?." Rubel responded with a wry grin.

"Hmm, I suppose not, very well, I will have you watch his progress closely."

It is short, but I wrote it up pretty quickly, and the next chapter should be longer, maybe, hopefully.

Interesting, I just noticed that you seem to support the whole man in the black coats having immortality theory, what with having both rubel and ermita still present even at the time of males. Although thats not a bad thing I lok forward to you joint efforts

[Fenrir_valindri]

They are not immortal yet in my story.

This is their first experiment with hybrids, so they are going to want to test some things out first.

As for the actualy Claymore story, they age way to slow for them not to have hybridized themself in some way, or they are not human.

Edit: The second chapter of "Stories from the North" is up on fanfiction.net, please read and review

[Hamstadini]

For those that care, "In Fire Chapter 3: Forgiveness Offered" is up.

I honestly don't know what the customary way of posting story links in the thread is, so I'll act like I'm in Rome and put it in the spoiler tag.

ALERT: It is advisable that you read Manga Volume 11 in order to understand Priscilla's mindset. I have a link to free Claymore Manga in my ff.net profile, updated to volume 13. Also, this link will take you DIRECTLY to chapter 3 - if you want to start at the beginning, pull down the chapter list in the upper right-hand corner.

Spoiler:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3688375/3/In_Fire

[Defiled one]

I reviewed.

[Tempest35]

I feel almost giddy now that the fanfiction thread has started revving up like it has in the last week or so.

As for the immortality thing...*shrugs* easier to work with characters we already know - besides I doubt if they're gonna be in the story much past this point other than to annoy.

@ Bikerider - the more the merrier. We'll be looking for your story soon. ^_^ b

[Hamstadini]

Originally Posted by Defiled one

I reviewed.

Much thanks!

[Fenrir_valindri]

Reviewed the story, chapter by chapter, was good stuff.

Hope you review my second chapter

[Hamstadini]

Much thanks. I'm saddend by some of my reviews... Do they really think that Miria would have rejoined the Organization without a backup plan? :-S

[Tempest35]

Actually I was more in shock that she rejoined at all... I suppose I can come up with three reasons as to why she'd do such a thing by Wednesday.

[Fenrir_valindri]

I am certain she has a backup plan, I am just suprised she would even stomach rejoining in the first place, Alicia and Beth would never be able to find them, and even if they did, They were planning on taking on Priscilla, Alicia and Beth are chump change compared to that.

[emu777]

I just read over your stories and reviewed hamstadini/fenrir keep up the good work

[miroku2192]

ok...i wrote this in like 5 min...it's an idea...but it's a bit un-organized. But i saw that people wanted Raki to be a bit stronger so heh


“Umm, excuse me, are you the one who follows Clare and gives her missions?” asked Raki. The man wearing the black suit and hat turned around slowly, with a smirk on his face saying “I thought you’d come to me…after all you’ve been wanting power all along, no? Is that what you want? Power? To protect Clare?” “Yes…I promised myself that one day I would live to meet Clare…and that I would be strong enough to protect her. I don’t want to get in her way anymore or be a nuisance. I want to fight!”
“Heh, I would love to see what happens if I made you into a claymore…but im pretty sure you’ve heard from Clare that the male generation of claymores were a disaster, a complete failure” replied the man.
“But…Clare awakened but was able to turn back. I know I can too! I want to protect Clare” said Raki arrogantly.
“Hmm…this is interesting, I’ll see what the organization has to say about this. In the meantime, just stay here”…
“BUT I CAN”T DO THAT! I CAN”T WAIT ANY LONGER! I HAVE TO PROTECT CLARE!!!”
“very well…I’ll see what I can do”

*A year later after vigorous training…*

*At the organization*:
“He’s become stronger than we predicted…in fact he is stronger than the one we lost years ago, Isley”
“But he’s become too full of himself, and he has no experience what so ever…”
“Well, send him to where Clare is, and hopefully we can take down the other abyssal ones and the awakened ones with Raki’s help”
“That’s absurd…he doesn’t know what he’s doing. Even though he is strong, he hasn’t had any experience”
“It doesn’t matter…we lose one boy and we’ll make another one”

*Raki is sent off to find Clare and help her on her mission*

*As Raki arrives at the scene, he sees Clare engaging in a battle with an awakened being, he jumps in and cuts off the awakened being’s head without even breaking a sweat*

“What? What was that…I didn’t even sense that claymore…who could it be?” pondered Clare in fear…
“CLARE!! CLARE!! I”VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!” shouted Raki.
“Impossible…a male claymore…but weren’t they all destroyed? Who are you?”
“Clare…it’s me! Raki”
“Raki? You look so different…and a claymore? How?”
“haha I promised you that one day I’d come to prot…WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU!”

*Priscilla along with Isley comes in and attacks Clare*

“No…it can’t be..it’s Priscilla…I’ve waited all these years to exact my revenge…”

*raki lunges forward at Priscilla*
*clare jumps in and stops raki*

“no…this is my fight” said Clare.
“But clare…I’ve become a claymore to protect you, not to watch you” replied Raki.
“this awakened…Priscilla is the one that killed the person that meant the most to me…the one who made me who I am…”

to be continued?

[Hamstadini]

Originally Posted by Fenrir_valindri

I am certain she has a backup plan, I am just suprised she would even stomach rejoining in the first place, Alicia and Beth would never be able to find them, and even if they did, They were planning on taking on Priscilla, Alicia and Beth are chump change compared to that.

>< You deserve a no-prize for reminding me of the power differences between Alicia and Priscilla. I think the real difference is in will - Alicia and Beth are now basically mindless automatons who will fight to the death, whereas Priscilla has shown mercy by letting them go.

I would have written up a little segment as to exactly how the Spirits of Pieta were pressed back into the Organization's service - perhaps they were ambushed, or ran into the twins and their handler accidentally - but the fact of the matter is that they are now in the service of the Organization again... because the plot demands it. I have no other excuse.

Oh, and for Miroku2192's story:

“BUT I CAN”T DO THAT! I CAN”T WAIT ANY LONGER! I HAVE TO PROTECT CLARE!!!”
*Rubel unplugs his ears*
"You don't have to yell. I'm standing right here, you know..."

Sorry, couldn't resist. :-)

[miroku2192]

@ Hamstadini...lol...


And now...for a slight continuation of the last story i posted...it's a bit better i hope !!!

"Deceit...Isley's victory"

“Hey Clare…why are you always late?”
“Sorry Miria…I was caught up in some things on the way here.”
“Well it’s about time we get going…”
“What? It’s just the two of us? Shouldn’t there be more? After all we’re hunting an abyssal one”
“Maybe the organization felt that we were strong enough to take Isley on by ourselves…afterall I am now #1 and you are #2”
“It’s all thanks to Irene”
“On second thought, why don’t we go spend the night in that hotel before we go?”
“But it’s not even dark yet, and why do we need beds…”
“Just do as I say”

*Clare and Miria rent a hotel, Miria looks around and closes the blinds and lets out a sigh of relief*

“What’s wrong Miria, you’re not tired are you?”
“No…didn’t you sense it Clare? Someone was following us…watching our moves. That’s why I asked for us to come in here. Don’t you think it’s a bit strange that the organization only sent us to take on Isley? Something’s not right here”

*Meanwhile, the one who was following Clare and Miria reported to Isley who was in Pieta*
“Ah, you’re back Rigaldo, my silver-eyed beast ”
“Could we please not use that name…”
“Haha, cheer up Rigaldo. Anyway, what of Clare and Miria?”
“I believe they’ve fallen for it. That conceited Number 1 thinks that Clare and she can take you on”
“I see…thank you Rigaldo. Oh and Raki…you can come out, you don’t have to spy on us…I’ve already seen you”
“Yes Isley, my deepest apologies” said Raki as he kneeled before Isley.
“Isn’t he a Claymore?” asked Rigaldo.
“He was…but now he is one of us. I think he might be as strong as you Rigaldo; maybe he’s even stronger than you…”
“How did he turn into an awakened being? He seemed strong enough to take Priscilla on.”
“raki, may I ask you to leave?”
“Yes, Isley”

*Raki leaves*

“Eralc, would you come out please”
“Eralc? Who is Eralc” questioned Rigaldo
“he…is my trump card”
“Hello Isley”
“Isn’t that…Clare?!? What is she doing here?” asked Rigaldo

*Eralc laughs and suddenly turns into a man that looks exactly like Rigaldo*
“Are you sure I’m clare?” asked Eralc.
“You see…he has the ability to change into anyone he wants” said Isley. “I used him to lure Raki. In that fight, I pretended to kill Eralc, who was dressed up as Clare. As a result, Raki was enraged and went over his limit as he tried to defeat me. It was a bit sad though…I lost Priscilla. She couldn’t bring herself to kill Raki…I don’t know what she sees in him”
“Heh, isley, you’re as ingenious as ever” replied Rigaldo, who then left.

Isley turned around and looked into the moon... “So…what are you going to do Clare, Miria?”


to be continued ?
p.s. - hope u guys like the idea...or at least get what im trying to say lol

[Bikerider]

I'm about 80% done first draft of my 25th Claymore fanfic... Still needs a bit more in the middle. Rafaela never looked more human. Rubel... yeah.. he's there in the end. As expected.

[Hamstadini]

In Fire has 36 reviews, beating out Silver Grey! O.o

*Warning - Rapid ego inflation detected. Cranial pressure at critical. Explosion immenent*

Oh cr -

*BOOM!*

*Splat*