Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion (second reincarnation)

[Kyral]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

Write faster This thread needs more Hayate love

Yes it does... but atm I try to concentrate on Memories of Blood and Sorrow.
But I still collect some nice Ideas for Nightfall. (I'm even working on the 'bossfights' already )

Originally Posted by PhoenixFlare

Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha GuardianS

Chapter Nine—Decisions

Bluecheesum overdrive! Oo;

Nice choice of music and some tasty Yuunoha :3

Ah!
That reminds me... you wanted something translated right?
Sorry, I went off before you could say anything. ^^;

Originally Posted by Keroko

As for Keroko, while the profile is still in the works, I can leave you with this:

Spoiler for she still likes black:

awesome!

[Comartemis]

Originally Posted by Kha

If Coma is willing to let Nodoka pick up a stray puppy found within the Library before the events of Negima, I could work on the rest too.

Works for me, just make sure you run his history by me when he's finished so I can make proper adjustments and allowances for canon, 'kay?

Originally Posted by Kha

Same father, different mother. And ever since Kotarou showed up suddenly at Mahora, it is apparent they hate each other's guts.

Funny you should speak of siblings born of one father and two mothers...

Alex's character model is Gilgamesh from FSN, and in Classic and A's he strongly resembles Chibi-Gil from Hollow Ataraxia, but with slightly spikier hair and a rather different personality. Now fix that image in your mind, particularly his facial features.

Now who else do you know who has golden blond hair, deep crimson eyes, and--most importantly--a father who is completely unaccounted-for in-series?

Alexander Janus Gracia, and Fate Testarossa: victims of coincidence... or half-siblings?

[Jimmy C]

Not Fate, Alicia

Originally Posted by Keroko

As for Keroko, while the profile is still in the works, I can leave you with this:

I've been curious for some time now. You're an AMG fan, do you have a Keroko for AMG?

[Keroko]

Of course there is an AMG Keroko. Nearly every anime I like has a Keroko.

Spoiler for It's only a tiny snippet, but its something:

Keroko

Goddess Second Class, Combat Division, Limited License.

Notes: Previously exiled, License restored with honor.

[Comartemis]

Not Fate, Alicia

Same difference. I'm trying to think of ways to work this into the story as a plot point/revelation of great significance or if it should just be strongly insinuated and let them go about their lives completely unawares of their familial connection to each other.

[Keroko]

Be very carefull with this Comar, the 'distant sibling' card is a recepy for Mary Sure waiting to happen.

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Keroko

As long as he doesn't look like Inuyasha, I'm cool (I never did like his character design).

As for Keroko, while the profile is still in the works, I can leave you with this:

Spoiler for she still likes black:

Neither did I. I liked have already a character Seishoumaru Moriyama Shishio here as Suzuka's heartthrob, so that's about the limit for me.

Kouya's had several avatars going for him, and my choice was a were-wolfy kind of character... However, I decided to do someone some justice, and so Kouya is officially a fairer-skinned, more boyish and scrawnier Zafira, complete with big ears sticking out the sides. I also added/reinstated the theorized puppy form!

Other than that, the visual changes are minimal for easy visualization.

WTB pactio car--- wait. Unless making one with Nodoka is allowed... <.< / >.>

Just a few more bites I winged out:

Spoiler for Kouya battle synopsis:

Kouya is a shamanistic sorceror, adept at throwing all sorts of lightning bolts without incantations and even able to conjure a power weapon of blue lightning. However, apart from basic magic abilities and transforming from puppy form to Dire Wolf, Humanoid, and Worgen forms (each with unique characteristics and limits), that's about all he can do.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Works for me, just make sure you run his history by me when he's finished so I can make proper adjustments and allowances for canon, 'kay?

Sure! So far I got:

Spoiler for Kouya in 5 seconds:

Kouya was searching for the Thousand Items, and already he has collected 5 out of 12, and came to the Library Island to seek further clues as to where they might be. He is searching for the Thousand Master because of what he believes is that Nagi holds the key to the remaining items stubbornly out of reach, mostly because of his nickname.

Other details still missing, but I think this is the core gist of his purpose in the Negiverse side of things.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Funny you should speak of siblings born of one father and two mothers...

Alex's character model is Gilgamesh from FSN, and in Classic and A's he strongly resembles Chibi-Gil from Hollow Ataraxia, but with slightly spikier hair and a rather different personality. Now fix that image in your mind, particularly his facial features.

Now who else do you know who has golden blond hair, deep crimson eyes, and--most importantly--a father who is completely unaccounted-for in-series?

Alexander Janus Gracia, and Fate Testarossa: victims of coincidence... or half-siblings?

And so do several of my OCs... Not a very strong justification imo.

Originally Posted by Keroko

Of course there is an AMG Keroko. Nearly every anime I like has a Keroko.

Spoiler for It's only a tiny snippet, but its something:

Keroko

Goddess Second Class, Combat Division, Limited License.

Notes: Previously exiled, License restored with honor.

Spoiler for Random...:

Kaa

Naaru (Lower House) Regulator.

Notes: Oversaw the trial that resulted in the exile of Keroko over an offence as part of a Greater Plan.

[Comartemis]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Be very carefull with this Comar, the 'distant sibling' card is a recepy for Mary Sure waiting to happen.

I know, I've seen it done before several times. I don't know how--or even if--I'm going to insert it into the plot, but it's definitely not going to be "Surprise! I'm Fate/Alicia's long-lost half-brother come to save her from the evils Precia's inflicting on her!". Assume for the moment that when it comes unveiled, it'll be a huge shock to both of them and it won't come until Alex is firmly established as a decent non-Sue OC, which means probably sometime during A's at the absolute earliest.

Also, Kha... these Thousand Items, what are they exactly?

[Tempy]

Originally Posted by Keroko

Of course there is an AMG Keroko. Nearly every anime I like has a Keroko.

Spoiler for It's only a tiny snippet, but its something:

Keroko

Goddess Second Class, Combat Division, Limited License.

Notes: Previously exiled, License restored with honor.

Heh. This reminds me of my own little army of OCs for every anime I like.

In Negima, I had a older dark magic kinda guy that helped care for and trained Evangeline when she was still a wee little sprout and freshly indoctrinated into vampirism, his position similar to Zelretch and Arcuied. He makes a reappearance in modern times as a sealed chain-bound Dark Knight that could only become active via willing Pactio summoning. Strangely enough, Konoka and Yue somehow got the Pactio. Once that got established, he took a position in Mahora as a cynical, stand-offish, and sarcastic history teacher.

AMG...

Had a Death character. Second class Unlimited. 10-dimensional scythe. Close friends with, of all people, Skuld.

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

Muahahaha!!!

Spoiler for falcon...:

PUNCH!!!!

[Kha]

10D Scythe is a sickass Phase weapon. Though I got to remember we're dealing with gods here.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Also, Kha... these Thousand Items, what are they exactly?

At the moment, I have 2 ideas: one is a suit of armor made of 11 items (I counted wrong last night ) at 1 for each body part + 1 necklace and 2 rings; the other is basically, the Millenium Items from Yugioh (which was what gave me the idea for the other items after developing the Thousand Cross) renamed Thousand Items and redesigned so that they are more like devices.

Currently I'm leaning towards the second idea (Kouya'd then only have 1 item, the Cross), but the 1st is there because its more original... I think.

I'm also still deciding what they do, but at the height of the Khrack, I was thinking if Kouya later learnt how to fight using deck-based magic.

[Comartemis]

Deck-based, you say? Sounds like my planned port of Kinomoto Sakura, using cards like Carim's, but inscribed with pre-cast spell templates for rapid-fire casting spells of all sorts. A "jack" of all trades, if you will.

I like the second idea better, myself; it rings of those legendary artifacts someone (dkellis?) posted a few dozen pages back. Lots of potential for usage as plot devices. For instance, if I were to give one such item to Alex, Kouya would come into conflict with him and become a part of the central story as an antagonist, at least for a little while... no telling how long it'd take for him to get Befriended for trying to smack around Nanoha's lancer, but probably not very long.

[LimitedEternal]

Originally Posted by Kha

10D Scythe is a sickass Phase weapon. Though I got to remember we're dealing with gods here.

At the moment, I have 2 ideas: one is a suit of armor made of 11 items (I counted wrong last night ) at 1 for each body part + 1 necklace and 2 rings; the other is basically, the Millenium Items from Yugioh (which was what gave me the idea for the other items after developing the Thousand Cross) renamed Thousand Items and redesigned so that they are more like devices.

Currently I'm leaning towards the second idea (Kouya'd then only have 1 item, the Cross), but the 1st is there because its more original... I think.

I'm also still deciding what they do, but at the height of the Khrack, I was thinking if Kouya later learnt how to fight using deck-based magic.

If you actually made a deck-based style work, I'd take my hat off to you. (Assuming I wore hats. :3)

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Comartemis

Deck-based, you say? Sounds like my planned port of Kinomoto Sakura, using cards like Carim's, but inscribed with pre-cast spell templates for rapid-fire casting spells of all sorts. A "jack" of all trades, if you will.

Hmm... The first time I decided to make a deck-based combat system, it was based off Sakura in the first place.

And it would help if you don't point out how potentially powerful a thing is, but focus on its limits. People are allergic to power here.

Originally Posted by Comartemis

I like the second idea better, myself; it rings of those legendary artifacts someone (dkellis?) posted a few dozen pages back. Lots of potential for usage as plot devices. For instance, if I were to give one such item to Alex, Kouya would come into conflict with him and become a part of the central story as an antagonist, at least for a little while... no telling how long it'd take for him to get Befriended for trying to smack around Nanoha's lancer, but probably not very long.

Spoiler for A few shots from the hip...:

I'll need to think further, but from my notes so far, Kouya's just an innocent puppy sitting in a corner early in the series. And he's no villain; those items were meant for his use, but according to his father they were scattered across the land under lock-and-key by the Western mages for safe keeping. So he's knows they are out there, and that the Thousand Master holds the key to their locations, so he opts to work with Negi to help find his father and help himself in the process.

Besides, you know how idealistic Clerics always turn out. Except one Thomas Kluize though.

And there was one occasion where Chachamaru baited him with a false Thousand item, and by the time he got back, Nodoka was already assaulted by Eva. It taught him to not prioritize the items search over his wish of protecting another person.

Another side-note: Kouya, as a half-wolf demon, is anathema to Evangeline, and so in whatever form, he's always hostile to Eva. Too bad the Eva episode involved him battling a masked Chao so as to give Negi his screentime for that arc; I'm still looking for a showdown between vampire and werewolf.

Originally Posted by LimitedEternal

If you actually made a deck-based style work, I'd take my hat off to you. (Assuming I wore hats. :3)

I already have:

Spoiler for The Sakura Cards system used by Saber, Sankt Kaiser of Belka:

Each card houses a preset spell program, precalculated and ready, and is charged with mana beforehand. Using the card activates the program, unleashing the spell with little or no incantations needed. This allows the deck to do a lot of "burst damage", hitting hard, fast and very quickly.

However, this drains the mana of the card, and it turns gray to symbolize it being "expended". The deck is recharged by focusing and feeding mana into the deck; the spell programs will take care of the calculations, so even then charging in battle will still be faster than having to do incantations (and feed mana) for every spell. However, due to the difficulty in multitasking, most card mages have to remain in one spot to charge, and that gives their opponents an opening.

The cards can also be drained of mana to power a different spell; for Saber, it could be an extra swing of the X-caliber. For Kouya, that would be like sacrificing a card to deliver an extra large serving of lightning bolts to the face. Think of it as using resources to activate a Hero Power like in the WoW TCG.

More powerful cards take longer, strain you harder and consumes more mana to charge; some even have a praising incantation to appeal to the Card Spirit inside, so a deck full of "Rare" cards will take forever to charge after you expend it, and wear you out completely, leaving you flatfooted for a very long time while doing very little to a wise opponent. As such, a deck is usually a mix of small spells with big kill conditions. Like a Magic deck.

Due to the crankiness of some Card Spirits, there are some more powerful cards with a 0-1 limit, while most have a 0-4 limit, and some really cheap rare ones have no card limit.

Battle fatigue means that has the fight drags on, charging the deck will take longer and longer.

And there are some cards that refuse to be recharged, but have their own timers, meaning that for one battle these cards can only be used once effectively.

Most cards were forged in ancient times, and there are modern forges still making them, but few come close to the really wicked ones buried in tombs and museums. A skilled card mage could make a pact with a real spirit and keep it as a card, and is a source of great variability in the card mage arena.

Oh and Kouya can only use cards in Humanoid or Worgen form. Beast form grants him great feral striking power, but at the cost of the cards.

[Comartemis]

Hmm... The first time I decided to make a deck-based combat system, it was based off Sakura in the first place.

And it would help if you don't point out how potentially powerful a thing is, but focus on its limits. People are allergic to power here.

You pretty much did the work for me there.

Though now that I think on it, Sakura shows a large number of traits of Negima Eastern-style mages, if you think of the cards' physical manifestations as being her "demons" and the cards as her talismans. Several of the cards have effects that subscribe to the "disorient and confuse" label common to eastern mage tactics; The Maze, The Illusion, The Dark, The Loop (an identical effect is used in the Negima manga during the Kyoto arc), and The Sleep in particular.

[Liingo]

Originally Posted by Sheba

This is one of the fictionnal worlds that made me go

The amount of details poured in there is just stunning, at the point to make me swirl.

Indeed. Far out, that's a beautiful world. So Much detail

Originally Posted by Kha

Spoiler for The Sakura Cards system used by Saber, Sankt Kaiser of Belka:

Each card houses a preset spell program, precalculated and ready, and is charged with mana beforehand. Using the card activates the program, unleashing the spell with little or no incantations needed. This allows the deck to do a lot of "burst damage", hitting hard, fast and very quickly.

However, this drains the mana of the card, and it turns gray to symbolize it being "expended". The deck is recharged by focusing and feeding mana into the deck; the spell programs will take care of the calculations, so even then charging in battle will still be faster than having to do incantations (and feed mana) for every spell. However, due to the difficulty in multitasking, most card mages have to remain in one spot to charge, and that gives their opponents an opening.

The cards can also be drained of mana to power a different spell; for Saber, it could be an extra swing of the X-caliber. For Kouya, that would be like sacrificing a card to deliver an extra large serving of lightning bolts to the face. Think of it as using resources to activate a Hero Power like in the WoW TCG.

More powerful cards take longer, strain you harder and consumes more mana to charge; some even have a praising incantation to appeal to the Card Spirit inside, so a deck full of "Rare" cards will take forever to charge after you expend it, and wear you out completely, leaving you flatfooted for a very long time while doing very little to a wise opponent. As such, a deck is usually a mix of small spells with big kill conditions. Like a Magic deck.

Due to the crankiness of some Card Spirits, there are some more powerful cards with a 0-1 limit, while most have a 0-4 limit, and some really cheap rare ones have no card limit.

Battle fatigue means that has the fight drags on, charging the deck will take longer and longer.

And there are some cards that refuse to be recharged, but have their own timers, meaning that for one battle these cards can only be used once effectively.

Most cards were forged in ancient times, and there are modern forges still making them, but few come close to the really wicked ones buried in tombs and museums. A skilled card mage could make a pact with a real spirit and keep it as a card, and is a source of great variability in the card mage arena.

I'm surprised, Actual content that is viable to be used two posts in a row! (Cards and the other Kha) Still a little rough and needs a little work but something that could really be dropped on the table to play with already. Hopefully you'll keep this up

@Cort: All I can really say is to take Kha's suggestion and work on melding one thing at a time. The concept behind it seems sound from what I've read, but I'm not going to be much help since I haven't read Negima and don't really plan to in the near future.

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Comartemis

You pretty much did the work for me there.

Though now that I think on it, Sakura shows a large number of traits of Negima Eastern-style mages, if you think of the cards' physical manifestations as being her "demons" and the cards as her talismans. Several of the cards have effects that subscribe to the "disorient and confuse" label common to eastern mage tactics; The Maze, The Illusion, The Dark, The Loop (an identical effect is used in the Negima manga during the Kyoto arc), and The Sleep in particular.

Feel free to use it. It is a magical system in its own right after all!

That's because the Cards were an ingenious method of combining eastern Ofuda magic with traditional western. Clow's thinking and Ken Akamatsu matched at this point, but the spell card system actually predated Negima; I developed it during CCS, for one of my OCs.

Originally Posted by Liingo

I'm surprised, Actual content that is viable to be used two posts in a row! (Cards and the other Kha) Still a little rough and needs a little work but something that could really be dropped on the table to play with already. Hopefully you'll keep this up

I dunnow whether to cheer or cry at this.

Now if only I knew what to improve it on really; all I have is ideas for future patches.

So far, the system kind of favors burst mages a lot; I'm trying to tweak the system so that other slower deck archetypes can come in. However, Control decks work very well for this system due to the fast counterspells a card mage can have.

Another point would be to include maybe a mana system so that I can add even more varied of strat, while restricting the type of magic cards the mage can have. But I don't want a mage with land cards floating all around them; its kind of... weird.

[Keroko]

I'm surprised nobody commented on the big red Relic floating on front of Keroko on her Pactio card.

Originally Posted by Kha

WTB pactio car--- wait. Unless making one with Nodoka is allowed... <.< / >.>

Nodoka isn't a magistra, even now what little magic she has is limited at best, and channeled by Negi, so obviously not.

Originally Posted by Kha

Spoiler for Random...:

Kaa

Naaru (Lower House) Regulator.

Notes: Oversaw the trial that resulted in the exile of Keroko over an offence as part of a Greater Plan.

So her being exiled because she allied with the Demons was part of a greater plan?

Originally Posted by Comartemis

I know, I've seen it done before several times. I don't know how--or even if--I'm going to insert it into the plot, but it's definitely not going to be "Surprise! I'm Fate/Alicia's long-lost half-brother come to save her from the evils Precia's inflicting on her!". Assume for the moment that when it comes unveiled, it'll be a huge shock to both of them and it won't come until Alex is firmly established as a decent non-Sue OC, which means probably sometime during A's at the absolute earliest.

*scratches head* This does make me wonder why, though. I mean, pulling the distant sibling card is risky, even more so in the case of Fate (I've lost count how many OC's we've had that were 'distant relatives' of Fate).

It's the problem of wanting to make a character related to the most popular girl of the show: It's been done to death so many times its like an automatic Sue label.

Originally Posted by AdmiralTigerclaw

Muahahaha!!!

Spoiler for falcon...:

PUNCH!!!!

It's scary how much it actually computes.

Originally Posted by Kha

I'm also still deciding what they do, but at the height of the Khrack, I was thinking if Kouya later learnt how to fight using deck-based magic.

Why not? Cards are already canon after all.

Originally Posted by Kha

Hmm... The first time I decided to make a deck-based combat system, it was based off Sakura in the first place.

And it would help if you don't point out how potentially powerful a thing is, but focus on its limits. People are allergic to power here.

Spoiler for A few shots from the hip...:

I'll need to think further, but from my notes so far, Kouya's just an innocent puppy sitting in a corner early in the series. And he's no villain; those items were meant for his use, but according to his father they were scattered across the land under lock-and-key by the Western mages for safe keeping. So he's knows they are out there, and that the Thousand Master holds the key to their locations, so he opts to work with Negi to help find his father and help himself in the process.

Besides, you know how idealistic Clerics always turn out. Except one Thomas Kluize though.

And there was one occasion where Chachamaru baited him with a false Thousand item, and by the time he got back, Nodoka was already assaulted by Eva. It taught him to not prioritize the items search over his wish of protecting another person.

Another side-note: Kouya, as a half-wolf demon, is anathema to Evangeline, and so in whatever form, he's always hostile to Eva. Too bad the Eva episode involved him battling a masked Chao so as to give Negi his screentime for that arc; I'm still looking for a showdown between vampire and werewolf.

I already have:

Spoiler for The Sakura Cards system used by Saber, Sankt Kaiser of Belka:

Each card houses a preset spell program, precalculated and ready, and is charged with mana beforehand. Using the card activates the program, unleashing the spell with little or no incantations needed. This allows the deck to do a lot of "burst damage", hitting hard, fast and very quickly.

However, this drains the mana of the card, and it turns gray to symbolize it being "expended". The deck is recharged by focusing and feeding mana into the deck; the spell programs will take care of the calculations, so even then charging in battle will still be faster than having to do incantations (and feed mana) for every spell. However, due to the difficulty in multitasking, most card mages have to remain in one spot to charge, and that gives their opponents an opening.

The cards can also be drained of mana to power a different spell; for Saber, it could be an extra swing of the X-caliber. For Kouya, that would be like sacrificing a card to deliver an extra large serving of lightning bolts to the face. Think of it as using resources to activate a Hero Power like in the WoW TCG.

More powerful cards take longer, strain you harder and consumes more mana to charge; some even have a praising incantation to appeal to the Card Spirit inside, so a deck full of "Rare" cards will take forever to charge after you expend it, and wear you out completely, leaving you flatfooted for a very long time while doing very little to a wise opponent. As such, a deck is usually a mix of small spells with big kill conditions. Like a Magic deck.

Due to the crankiness of some Card Spirits, there are some more powerful cards with a 0-1 limit, while most have a 0-4 limit, and some really cheap rare ones have no card limit.

Battle fatigue means that has the fight drags on, charging the deck will take longer and longer.

And there are some cards that refuse to be recharged, but have their own timers, meaning that for one battle these cards can only be used once effectively.

Most cards were forged in ancient times, and there are modern forges still making them, but few come close to the really wicked ones buried in tombs and museums. A skilled card mage could make a pact with a real spirit and keep it as a card, and is a source of great variability in the card mage arena.

Oh and Kouya can only use cards in Humanoid or Worgen form. Beast form grants him great feral striking power, but at the cost of the cards.

Ahh, this reminds me of my Purple Mage in a Final Fantasy RPG. I see no problems with this card system, a nice combination of canon cards and creativity.

[Sheba]

You know. I am thinking that Fate MAY not make a big deal of it. She is a clone of Alicia, sure. But the hidden sibling part may have worked IF she has both Alicia's memories AND personality, like a Ghola from the Dune books.

Sadly, or rather fortunately, it's not the case. And the most one could hope from a "Fate, I am YOUR father" scene would be a "lolwut? Yeah, right, whatever..." kind of reaction from Fate. She has grown up used to the idea and mindset that she is Fate, NOT Alicia, and that's good enough for her.

However, I do agree that the "Fate's distant relative" card has been played way too much, to the point that it become as expected as Ryu throwing fireballs at you.

[Keroko]

Comparing Keroko's pactio to the other pactio's, I found one or two minor errors, here's the new, fixed version:

Spoiler for Keroko's pactio:

For people who are going to make pactio cards, note that the title needs to be all-caps.