AnimeSuki Forums

King Lycan · 2008-10-20, 05:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronin Aquila

The final fight scene from Undefeatable, or "How not to make a Martial Arts Movie" And "Corniest James-Bond-One-Liner of all time."

Warning: Graphic violence at end of video.

Enjoy.

Felt like mortal combat when they pulled there shirts off

Eczema · 2008-10-20, 05:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xvoki

The worlds funniest joke: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/5064020.stm

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now WHAT?"

I didn't find that funny at all...

Goshin · 2008-10-20, 10:52

i thought it was

Ronin Aquila · 2008-10-20, 20:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eczema

I didn't find that funny at all...

Good to see there's somebody here who ALSO dosen't find the killing of innocent human beings funny.

NOTE: For those who now are going to scream "hypocrite" at me, note that the people killed in my videos is either a bullying jock who robs from small kids (the guy who got his head chopped off by Santa) greedy corporate exectuives (the shark food) or a raping murderer (the guy who gets a hook in both eyes). The humor of "Garbage Day" was drawn from the killer's bad acting, NOT the actual killing.

In other words, all evil animals who DESERVE to get laughed at, not innocent human beings.

Xvoki · 2008-10-20, 20:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronin Aquila

Good to see there's somebody here who ALSO dosen't find the killing of innocent human beings funny.

NOTE: For those who now are going to scream "hypocrite" at me, note that the people killed in my videos is either a bullying jock who robs from small kids (the guy who got his head chopped off by Santa) greedy corporate exectuives (the shark food) or a raping murderer (the guy who gets a hook in both eyes). The humor of "Garbage Day" was drawn from the killer's bad acting, NOT the actual killing.

In other words, all evil animals who DESERVE to get laughed at, not innocent human beings.

You take it far to seriously dude. But not everyone’s cup-of-tea I guess. The legendary Spike Milligan was as well known for his dark humour as he was for his manic depression.

Eczema · 2008-10-20, 21:01

The reason I didn't find it funny wasn't because of the killing or anything. It just wasn't funny. It was predictable and cliched.

Autumn Demon · 2008-10-21, 02:21

may have been posted before

Spoiler for gif:

Anh_Minh · 2008-10-21, 02:33

Winner: the cat!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronin Aquila

Good to see there's somebody here who ALSO dosen't find the killing of innocent human beings funny.

NOTE: For those who now are going to scream "hypocrite" at me, note that the people killed in my videos is either a bullying jock who robs from small kids (the guy who got his head chopped off by Santa) greedy corporate exectuives (the shark food) or a raping murderer (the guy who gets a hook in both eyes). The humor of "Garbage Day" was drawn from the killer's bad acting, NOT the actual killing.

In other words, all evil animals who DESERVE to get laughed at, not innocent human beings.

I didn't find it that funny for the opposite reason. I mean, it's not bad, but in a time of dead baby jokes, it just doesn't have that much oomph.

Irenicus · 2008-10-21, 02:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xvoki

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now WHAT?"

I thought the joke was funnier when they changed "New Jersey hunters" (who cares about New Jersey hunters?) to more interesting people.

Like, oh, I dunno, stormtroopers, maybe?

Anh_Minh · 2008-10-21, 02:47

A stormtrooper would need more than one shot to make sure...

KiNA · 2008-10-21, 03:17

Wait wait.. stormtrooper can be kill?

O_O!

Anh_Minh · 2008-10-21, 03:31

Yes, just throw teddy bears at them.

[DOT].L · 2008-10-21, 03:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anh_Minh

Yes, just throw teddy bears at them.

I demand a Mythbusters episode dedicated to this.

Nikhil · 2008-10-21, 04:17

Thanks for all the information that you have provided...

Ebichuman · 2008-10-21, 23:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xvoki

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now WHAT?"

Haven't heard that one in a long time. When I first heard it the guy gets hit by a car, then when the operator tells the driver to make sure the guy's dead the driver gets a gun from his glove department and shoots him. Still funny as hell though.

Cherudim Arche · 2008-10-21, 23:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Autumn Demon

may have been posted before

Spoiler for gif:

I don't know who to feel sorry for, the cat or the toddler.

Xvoki · 2008-10-22, 01:21

Ha, seeing as the first joke went down so well, here’s the second place winner of the worlds “funniest” jokes:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me, what do you see?"
Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

Here’s the “best” U.K. joke:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Here’s the “best” Australian Joke:

A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight."

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World%27s_funniest_joke

Eczema · 2008-10-22, 01:24

Those 3 jokes were all much better than the "world's best joke".

Clarste · 2008-10-22, 02:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eczema

Those 3 jokes were all much better than the "world's best joke".

The "world's best joke" is defined as the one with the widest global appeal, not the funniest. More people found it amusing than any other joke, but that doesn't mean that any of those people thought it was the funniest joke.

jedinat · 2008-10-22, 03:27

This is pretty old... I remember printing out the LaughLab jokes (they had more available on the site at the time) a few years ago and telling some people.

Here are some more...

Top joke in Canada:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

Top joke in Belgium:
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Top joke in Germany:
A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That’s it.”

Top Joke in England:
Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

Top Joke in Wales:
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don’t know, it all happened so fast.”

Top Joke in Scotland:
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Top Joke in Northern Ireland:
A doctor says to his patient, ‘I have bad news and worse news’.
‘Oh dear, what’s the bad news?’ asks the patient.
The doctor replies, ‘You only have 24 hours to live’.
‘That’s terrible’, said the patient. ‘How can the news possibly be worse?’
The doctor replies, ‘I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday’.

I like Canada's joke.

2008-10-20, 10:52	Link #2923
Goshin Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: somehwre between this world and the next	i thought it was __________________ "The Journey of thousand miles begins with the first step"

2008-10-20, 21:01	Link #2926
Eczema Ah! Pretty Shining Love! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Australia	The reason I didn't find it funny wasn't because of the killing or anything. It just wasn't funny. It was predictable and cliched.

2008-10-21, 02:21	Link #2927
Autumn Demon ~ Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Boston Age: 35	may have been posted before Spoiler for gif:

2008-10-21, 02:47	Link #2930
Anh_Minh I disagree with you all. Join Date: Dec 2005	A stormtrooper would need more than one shot to make sure...

2008-10-21, 03:31	Link #2932
Anh_Minh I disagree with you all. Join Date: Dec 2005	Yes, just throw teddy bears at them.

2008-10-21, 04:17	Link #2934
Nikhil Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2008	Thanks for all the information that you have provided...

2008-10-22, 01:21	Link #2937
Xvoki Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: UK Age: 15	Ha, seeing as the first joke went down so well, here’s the second place winner of the worlds “funniest” jokes: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me, what do you see?" Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent." Here’s the “best” U.K. joke: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." Here’s the “best” Australian Joke: A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight." Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World%27s_funniest_joke

2008-10-22, 01:24	Link #2938
Eczema Ah! Pretty Shining Love! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Australia	Those 3 jokes were all much better than the "world's best joke".

2008-10-22, 03:27	Link #2940
jedinat Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Age: 38	This is pretty old... I remember printing out the LaughLab jokes (they had more available on the site at the time) a few years ago and telling some people. Here are some more... Top joke in Canada: When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil. Top joke in Belgium: Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks. Top joke in Germany: A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That’s it.” Top Joke in England: Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!” The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.” Top Joke in Wales: A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don’t know, it all happened so fast.” Top Joke in Scotland: I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers. Top Joke in Northern Ireland: A doctor says to his patient, ‘I have bad news and worse news’. ‘Oh dear, what’s the bad news?’ asks the patient. The doctor replies, ‘You only have 24 hours to live’. ‘That’s terrible’, said the patient. ‘How can the news possibly be worse?’ The doctor replies, ‘I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday’. I like Canada's joke.