Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Yasanagi]

Spoiler for Wow, this MD ep came out quick:

“Oh my…” The moment Megane let those words out of her mouth; her stunned expression vanished and was replaced by a different one that radiated a combination of surprise and joy. “It’s very thoughtful of you to bring a gift over!”

“M-mom?” Lutecia was flabbergasted at how her mother seemed to be handling this situation. “What are you saying?”

“Well, you know how hard it is to store everything in the freezer when we have guests, especially those who like to eat healthy, over for a training trip. I certainly wouldn’t complain of an extra storage unit sitting around when we need it. It could mean the difference between second and third helpings for those last dinners,” said the older woman, her serene smile still perfectly in place.

“I… uh… wha…?” How was it that her mother remained perfectly calm in this weirdness?

While the younger girl tried to figure out what to say exactly in this scenario, Megane turned back to the guests in front of her. “I thank you kindly for the gift, Miss…?”

“I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the bubble gum that sticks in that long purple hair… and ooh, it looks so silky! What shampoo do you use?” Material-L moved in closer to Lutecia and started stroking the younger girl’s purple hair, much to her discomfort. “Ahhh… so smooth…”

“Rai, stop it. You’re invading her personal space,” said Yuuno in a slightly weary tone.

“Okay, Yuu-nii! Oh, right… lemme finish my intro.” The Lightning Assailant cleared her throat while putting some distance from the mother daughter duo so she could do some posing too. “I am Material-L! But you can call me Rai-chan!”

“I am the Lord of Darkness, Material-D. You are only to address me as ‘Your Majesty’,” said the Hayate replica in a strict tone while hiding the bottom portion of her face with that fan of hers.

“If you want to make it easier for you to remember, just call her Yami-chan!” piped up Rai much to the other’s annoyance.

“And I am Material-S, the Starlight Destroyer. You can call me by the name ‘Seikou’,” said the Nanoha replica with a slight bow.

“Hey, don’t forget about Sette-chan!” Rai bounced back before she grabbed her sidekick’s arm and shoved her to the front, giving Lutecia a brief shock on seeing one of Jail’s Numbers here and now.

“You…?”

“Greetings, Lady Lutecia. It is…” Sette paused for a moment. “… welcoming to see you in good health.”

“You two know each other?” asked Yami.

“We are old acquaintances. That is all there is to it.” It was a short answer and the only one that the Combat Cyborg would give.

“I see. Well, since you introduced yourselves, allow me to return the favour. I am Megane Alpine and this is my daughter, Lutecia. I bid you welcome to this house. As guests, the only thing that I ask is for no violence or dangerous horseplay takes place on the premises.”

“Your conditions are acceptable,” said Seikou with a nod.

“Splendid! I admit that I wasn’t expecting any guests for the evening so it’ll be some time before I have a fully cooked meal ready for this many people. So perhaps you all can take a soak in the hot springs and if you wish, you can also explore the compound until dinner is ready!” Megane turned to her daughter, who seemed to be in a much calmer state. “Lutecia, can you take our guests over to the springs? I believe Garyu has finished his cleaning by now.”

“Uh… sure thing, Mom.”

“Megane-san, if you don’t mind, I need to make some calls first to let the others know that I’m fine. They’ve probably been pretty worried about me when I didn’t get a chance to check in earlier,” said the Librarian.

“Of course. The communication window is by the fireplace down the hall and to your left.”

“Oh, wait! Where can I put this?” asked Material-L as she pointed back to the fridge she had brought.

“If I were to add a new fridge, I do want to keep it near the freezer and have it share the same power source. Can you bring it this way?”

As Megane directed Material-L, Lutecia simply stared in amazement at how well her mother maintained control of the situation. Then again, she was a former TSAB investigator. Dealing with weird and dangerous people was probably just another day in the office back in her time.

It took some careful moving of the furniture to make space for the fridge but eventually, a place was found for it. “That works just fine. Thank you!” said the older Alpine woman.

“So… uh, let me lead you all to the changing area. We got some towels there. You can put your dirty clothes in the basket in the right hand corner so I can do the laundry,” said Lutecia.

The three Materials started to follow the younger girl before Rai noticed that Sette wasn’t with them. She turned back to see the taller woman head down the other hallway. “Sette-chan? Where are you going?”

“I have some business to look into and will require Yuuno’s help once he has finished making his calls. Excuse me.” She bowed once before taking her leave.

“What is she talking about?” asked Material-L in puzzlement.

“It means no opportunity for our Majesty here to confirm whether Sette’s bust size is as big as it is,” commented Seikou in her usual deadpan tone and a well concealed smirk.

“SHUT UP!”

Page Claim for the Materials!

[deathcurse]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I suppose I just see it from the perspective that it's less of a "Shadowverse" story, in terms of Lutecia as a character and how she develops and where she ends up by the end, and more of a "Vivio and Lutecia" story that focuses just on them and that particular moment. But that might just be me.

Aha! I see your point . So you mean "Shadowverse story" as in "epicness resulting in changing plot and career directions and moral codes", not as "things that happen to Lutecia within this universe"?

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

Aha! I see your point . So you mean "Shadowverse story" as in "epicness resulting in changing plot and career directions and moral codes", not as "things that happen to Lutecia within this universe"?

Pretty much. Unless having sex with Vivio somehow constitutes as some sort of moral issue.

[DezoPenguin]

Originally Posted by Moczo

All right, I haven't contributed a one-shot in awhile, let's see how this goes.

I guess you could... sorta... call this my contribution to our own Beamspam's Shadowverse. My own unique take on the 'Vivio Turns Eighteen' story that she is planning. My personal vision.

It may possibly be non-canon.

Maybe.

Kinda.

Sorta.

Definitely.

Spoiler for Crime and Punishment:

The only sounds for a long time had been gentle moans and soft gasps, the rustling of sheets, and the movement of flesh against flesh. Finally, though, one of the two women spoke.

“Happy eighteenth birthday, Vivio.” Lutecia Alphine said, happier than she had been in perhaps her entire life. All of her pain at the loss of her childhood, all of her guilt as a member of the Shadows, the TSAB’s secretive black operations division… all of that seemed just a bad dream as she stared into Vivio’s beautiful eyes.

“I love you, Cia.” Vivio Takamachi said. At this point in time, afterglow flooding her mind and exhaustion bringing an unbidden heaviness to her eyes, it was likely the only thing she could have said.

The two women lay intertwined among the tangled sheets of Lutecia’s small bed, sweat glistening on their exposed forms. Lutecia’s violet hair interwined freely with Vivio’s blonde locks, much as the new lovers themselves were intertwined. Both of them, they knew, were smiling like idiots, but at the moment caring was simply beyond them.

Finally, after years of waiting, it was Vivio’s coming of age; her eighteenth birthday and entry into legal adulthood… allowing the young woman and her longtime girlfriend to finally, finally consummate their relationship.

Finally, they belonged to each other in body in as they always had in soul.

Goofy smiles were to be expected in a moment so utterly perfect as this one.

“Vivio…” Lutecia whispered, brushing a few damp hairs off of Vivio’s brow. “I never thought I was allowed to be this happy.”

“Cia…” Vivio said, her smile only growing more brilliant. “I plan to make sure you-”

“FREEZE!”

“… eh?” Lutecia asked. That was not the romantic gesture she’d been expecting to hear, quite frankly.

“I didn’t say th-“ Vivio began, shortly before the door exploded inwards and a dozen men in body armor rushed into the room.

“What the Hell?!” Lutecia screamed, both women leaping for her discarded Devices, fully intending to fight back, only for the men to raise Devices of their own and wrap the two girls in chains of azure light.

“Lutecia Alphine?” Said the final man to enter the room, an older but still distinguished looking gentleman in a suit of middling quality.

Lutecia struggle futilely at the binding spell. Dammit… I should have known that no moment that good could last… She thought bitterly. Out loud, she said, “So, let me guess… I collapsed your operations, and you’re here to take it out of my hide? Forgive me if I don’t recognize you, all you scum look alike to me.”

The man smiled softly and shook his head. “A reasonable assumption… as an NSIS agent, you’ve certainly been responsible for any number of criminal organizations crumbling. But I’m afraid that you’re off.” He reached in his coat pocket and pulled out a badge marking him as a TSAB investigator himself. “Detective Ignatio Laine; CSI. I’m not some scum here for revenge on NSIS, I’m here to make sure the crimes that you have committed aren’t allowed to stay…” At this moment, for no discernable reason, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses, which he donned. “…in the Shadows.”

“… … … … huh?” Lutecia said.

“CSI. Clone Sex Investigations.” Laine said.

“... ... ... ... huh?” Lutecia said again.

“You must have suspected… you had sexual relations with that young woman, didn’t you?” Laine asked, pointing at Vivio. “Disregarding the fact that she is a twelve-year-old girl?”

“She’s eighteen! Believe me, I checked. I had a countdown of the days running for the last year!” Lutecia said fervently.

“No, she isn’t. She is a clone, artificially aged to the physical body of a six-year old at the time of her creation.” Laine said. “Physically she is eighteen, but chronologically? She's only twelve years old. Protecting innocent children…”

At this point, he gestured at Vivio, whose body more closely resembled that of a Supermodel than an innocent child.

“... like her, who have bodies that don’t match their minds… that’s why Clone Sex Investigations is here. For the children.” He finished piously.

“… that situation really comes up often enough that you need an entire crime unit?” Vivio asked.

“Not really. To be honest, I’m pretty sure our unit’s funding is supposed to be used to buy oatmeal for precinct cafeterias, and we only got it because of a budget mix-up.” Laine admitted. “But that isn't important; what is important is my need to make this formal… Lutecia Alphine, you are under arrest for the Statutory Rape of Vivio Takamachi. You have the right to remain silent…”

“This is such bullshit.” Lutecia growled.

“… but not the ability, I guess. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney…”

“Why do I need one?! She’s eighteen!”

“She’s twelve, I just told you this. And if you’ll let me finish, miss interrupter, I’m going to tell you that if you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed to you.”

“See? Things are looking up!” Vivio said hopefully.

“Vivio, honey, you’re not helping as much as you think you are.” Lutecia said wearily.

“All right, boys! Take this pervert away, and take Miss Takamachi home to her parents. Another job well… okay, a first job well done, you're actually the only person we've ever arrested, but that works for me.” Laine said.

“Um…” Vivio asked. “Can we at least get dressed?”

“I don’t see why not.” Laine said. He slipped off his sunglasses. “The only thing we need exposed around here…”

Sunglasses on.

“… is the truth.”

“I hate you.” Lutecia said.

“Don’t worry, Cia.” Vivio said confidently as her lover/assailant was dragged away. “We’ll fight this, tooth and nail. We’ll make clear that our love is pure and true, and we’ll bring forth all the many, many great heroes who know and respect you for your great deeds. We will fight, and I say this now… we will win.”

The Next Day…

“I’ll confess,” Vivio said, from the other side of the interview booth, “I really didn’t think they would find you guilty.”

“Especially not in one day.” Lutecia grumbled, picking at the itchy collar on her prison jumpsuit.

“I think Aunt Hayate getting slapped with a class-action Sexual Harassment lawsuit probably hurt her testimony as a character witness for you.” Vivio said.

“In retrospect, Queen Gropesalot was probably the worst possible person to help convince a jury I wasn’t a sexual deviant.” Lutecia agreed acidly.

“And Uncle Chrono testifying on the necessary and heroic nature of your Shadow work was probably weakened a little when he got an update during the trial from Agent… um…”

“Agent Slaughtermeister, I believe.” Lutecia said dully.

“Right. Who…”

“Burned down an orphanage to destroy at the narcotics ring operating beneath it… without telling the orphans.” Lutecia said. “Honestly, I’m not even sure why we employ that woman.”

“Her name is Slaughtermeister. That should have been a hint.” Vivio agreed.

“In her defense, that was her married name, changed after she joined that Shadows.”

“What was her maiden name?”

"Doomslayer.”

“… … …”

“Yeah, you don’t need to say it. Hiring processes have gone to Hell ever since Auris Gaiz took over as Deputy Chief.” Lutecia admitted.

“Well… um… at least you’ll have company?” Vivio said, looking a little further down the visiting room, where a teary-eyed Fate sat talking to Nanoha, who was wearing an identical jumpsuit to Lutecia.

“Yeah… I was going to ask…”

“Apparently, according to the CPL… clone protection laws? They’re new, I guess…”

“Yes, I like to think I would have heard of them before the imprisonment if they weren’t new.” Lutecia said bitterly.

“Well, anyway, the gist is that Fate-mama was technically only 14 years old when they got married.” Vivio said. “And then he said something about ‘this time, there won’t be any sympathy… for the devil’, and put on a pair of sunglasses.”

“I really hate that guy.” Lutecia growled.

“He’s not my favorite person.” Vivio agreed.

Chrono Harlaown, Lutecia’s superior, walked into the room and placed his hand on Vivio’s shoulder. “Um… Visiting hours are over, girls. Lutecia, I’m really very sorry about this…”

“Not as sorry as I am.”

“I expect not. Well… we’ll of course be appealing this every step of the way. And your Shadow duties will be taken over by another agent, so don’t worry about that.”

“Storm?”

“As much as he can; we’ll assign him a new partner to pick up the slack. I was thinking Agent Torturo. Maybe Agent McChildkiller.”

“… … … you really ought to have a word with Deputy Director Gaiz about who she scouts, sir.”

“I am realizing this, yes.” Chrono agreed. “Fate, Vivio? Let’s go home.”

“Don’t worry, Cia!” Vivio said. “It’s only three years at the most, right?”

“Yes… I know.” Lutecia said in a dead sort of voice.

“I mean, we’ve waited that long before, right?”

“Yes.” Lutecia said dully. “Exactly that long.”

“I mean, it’s sort of ironic, isn’t it? That you should be sentenced for exactly the same length of time you had to wait for me to turn eighteen? Like one three-year wait led directly to ano-“

“Yes, Vivio, I figured that out on my own.” Lutecia said.

“… … well, I thought it might cheer you up.” Vivio said.

“……………………” Lutecia said.

“Like, our little in-joke.” Vivio said, a little more doubtfully.

“……………………” Lutecia said.

“Someday we’ll look back on this and laugh, I’m sure.” Vivio said, the doubt in her voice so thick you could have drowned in it.

“…………………… Vivio? Honey, darling, love of my life?” Lutecia said.

“Y-yes?” Vivio asked.

“Stop helping.”

"... I'm going to go home, now?" Vivio said, her tone not really clear if she was asking or saying.

"That might be for the best." Lutecia agreed.

Chrono, Fate, and Vivio left the room and shortly the prison, leaving Nanoha and Lutecia alone with only a thin wall between them.

"So... um... looking forward to getting to know you?" Lutecia said.

"You laid hands on my daughter." Nanoha said.

"... ... okay, in my defense, and I realize how this sounds, she told me she was eighteen."

"I may shank you." Nanoha said, as if Cia had not spoken. "I haven't decided yet."

Lutecia sighed. It really did look like the next three years would be even longer than the previous...

Spoiler for Author's Notes:

I probably shouldn't be allowed to have cold medicine. It produces weird, weird writing.

Actually, RB and I had discussed the possibility of this short before; I don't think either of us ever really expected I would actually write it, but hey... sometimes you don't know the depths of your own madness until you plumb them. If nothing else, I hope all the Shadowverse fans got at least a mild chuckle out of it.

Oh, man! Just...LOL! (Come to think of it, now I want to know just how it is that Vivio at age 6 does have the emotional maturity of a child of 6. I mean, Fate at least had all of Alicia's memories shoehorned into her brain so she basically was Alicia at that point, but obviously Vivio wasn't the Sankt Kaiser...and come to think of it, there was that whole "where is my mama?" thing she was programmed with, and... No, I'm not supposed to be thinking serious thoughts in reaction to a humor fic!!! ) I actually wondered if you'd remember Nanoha and Fate...

...come to think of it, is Sette still in prison in the 'Verse? That would put three members of the cast in prison at once!

Wendi: See? This is why I made sure she'd have all those "Women in Chains" movies to help prepare her for these scenarios! I'm a genius, I tell you!
Cinque:

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Yasanagi

Spoiler for Wow, this MD ep came out quick:

“Oh my…” The moment Megane let those words out of her mouth; her stunned expression vanished and was replaced by a different one that radiated a combination of surprise and joy. “It’s very thoughtful of you to bring a gift over!”

“M-mom?” Lutecia was flabbergasted at how her mother seemed to be handling this situation. “What are you saying?”

“Well, you know how hard it is to store everything in the freezer when we have guests, especially those who like to eat healthy, over for a training trip. I certainly wouldn’t complain of an extra storage unit sitting around when we need it. It could mean the difference between second and third helpings for those last dinners,” said the older woman, her serene smile still perfectly in place.

“I… uh… wha…?” How is it that her mother is remaining perfectly calm in this weirdness?

While the younger girl tried to figure out what to say exactly in this scenario, Megane turned back to the guests in front of her. “I thank you kindly for the gift, Miss…?”

“I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the bubble gum that sticks in that long purple hair… and ooh, it looks so silky! What shampoo do you use?” Material-L moved in closer to Lutecia and started stroking the younger girl’s purple hair, much to her discomfort. “Ahhh… so smooth…”

“Rai, stop it. You’re invading her personal space,” said Yuuno in a slightly weary tone.

“Okay, Yuu-nii! Oh, right… lemme finish my intro.” The Lightning Assailant cleared her throat while putting some distance from the mother daughter duo so she could do some posing too. “I am Material-L! But you can call me Rai-chan!”

“I am the Lord of Darkness, Material-D. You are only to address me as ‘Your Majesty’,” said the Hayate replica in a strict tone while hiding the bottom portion of her face with that fan of hers.

“If you want to make it easier for you to remember, just call her Yami-chan!” piped up Rai much to the other’s annoyance.

“And I am Material-S, the Starlight Destroyer. You can call me by the name ‘Seikou’,” said the Nanoha replica with a slight bow.

“Hey, don’t forget about Sette-chan!” Rai bounced back before she grabbed her sidekick’s arm and shoved her to the front, giving Lutecia a brief shock on seeing one of Jail’s Numbers here and now.

“You…?”

“Greetings, Lady Lutecia. It is…” Sette paused for a moment. “… welcoming to see you in good health.”

“You two know each other?” asked Yami.

“We are old acquaintances. That is all there is to it.” It was a short answer and the only one that the Combat Cyborg would give.

“I see. Well, since you introduced yourselves, allow me to return the favour. I am Megane Alpine and this is my daughter, Lutecia. I bid you welcome to this house. As guests, the only thing that I ask is for no violence or dangerous horseplay takes place on the premises.”

“Your conditions are acceptable,” said Seikou with a nod.

“Splendid! I admit that I wasn’t expecting any guests for the evening so it’ll be some time before I have a fully cooked meal ready for this many people. So perhaps you all can take a soak in the hot springs and if you wish, you can also explore the compound until dinner is ready!” Megane turned to her daughter, who seemed to be in a much calmer state. “Lutecia, can you take our guests over to the springs? I believe Garyu has finished his cleaning by now.”

“Uh… sure thing, Mom.”

“Megane-san, if you don’t mind, I need to make some calls first to let the others know that I’m fine. They’ve probably been pretty worried about me when I didn’t get a chance to check in earlier,” said the Librarian.

“Of course. The communication window is by the fireplace down the hall and to your left.”

“Oh, wait! Where can I put this?” asked Material-L as she pointed back to the fridge she had brought.

“If I were to add a new fridge, I do want to keep it near the freezer and have it share the same power source. Can you bring it this way?”

As Megane directed Material-L, Lutecia simply stared in amazement at how well her mother maintained control of the situation. Then again, she was a former TSAB investigator. Dealing with weird and dangerous people was probably just another day in the office back in her time.

It took some careful moving of the furniture to make space for the fridge but eventually, a place was found for it. “That works just fine. Thank you!” said the older Alpine woman.

“So… uh, let me lead you all to the changing area. We got some towels there. You can put your dirty clothes in the basket in the right hand corner so I can do the laundry,” said Lutecia.

The three Materials started to follow the younger girl before Rai noticed that Sette wasn’t with them. She turned back to see the taller woman head down the other hallway. “Sette-chan? Where are you going?”

“I have some business to look into and will require Yuuno’s help once he has finished making his calls. Excuse me.” She bowed once before taking her leave.

“What is she talking about?” asked Material-L in puzzlement.

“It means no opportunity for our Majesty here to confirm whether Sette’s bust size is as big as it is,” commented Seikou in her usual deadpan tone and a well concealed smirk.

“SHUT UP!”

Page Claim for the Materials!

Yeah, in such a situation it would be better to play along. Since these are dangerous individuals, it's best to keep things not hostile so no one gets hurt.

So now that I've actually gotten to play the game, I see we've been pretty far off in our portrayal of Material-L. She's not some hyper blood thirsty child, but rather she normally acts calm and cool with a bit of an edge, but when she screws up she gets all flustered and her attempts to regain composure are what can be seen as immature and 'sore-loser-ish." She says her threats in a menacing tone, not with the glee of a child pulling wings off a fly.

Anyways, I realise how far we've come so I'm not going to go back and rewrite everything so it matches. Your average reader has no idea how she should be and are none the wiser anyways. Something to keep in mind for the future, though.

I mentioned before how I was considering going back and changing her name atleast. I don't like how masculine Rai sounds, but Material-L does speak using masculine pronouns so I guess it is suitable. Then again, in Zafira's story she calls herself 'Raikou', which I'd turn into 'Raiko', since 'ko' is the typical way female names end.

[Nanya01]

Just a quick short.

Spoiler for New Omake:

Nanoha chuckled at something that she had heard on the radio as she walked up to her house. As she got to the door, she blinked as she heard a whimpering sound. Looking up, she stared at Vivio, who was sitting there, trembling. "Vivio? Come on down."

Vivio shook her head and trembled. "Nah uh! The worm will eat me!"

"Worm?" Nanoha gave her a flat look. "What have you been watching, Vivio?"

Vivio shook her head again. "Nah uh! Come up here! Now, please!"

Nanoha rolled her eyes. "That's it, Vivio, no more snacks before..." She trailed off as the ground under her shook. "What the?" Her eyes widened in shock as the ground opened up like a mouth and a body rose from the ground to surround her before closing down.

"MAMA!" Vivio screamed in shock, her eyes watering up as she trembled. What could she do now?

Before anything else happened, the creature let out a groan before it exploded, a geyser of orange and yellow fluids, as well as stringy insides erupted from the ground.

Vivio watched as her mother, covered in yellow and orange fluids, stringy entrails, floated out while glowing pink and holding her left hand up into the air, her finger outstretched. Reaching up to her face with her right hand, she wiped her face clean of the gunk. "Well, I've never been eaten like that before." Looking at herself, she grimaced. "I need to get cleaned up." Looking at Vivio, she smiled. "You coming, Vivio?"

"Okay, mama!" Vivio smiled as she jumped off the roof. When she got to the ground, she waved her hand in front of her. "Uh... I think I'll go hang out with Einhart until this smell goes away."

Nanoha just rolled her eyes.

Spoiler for Moral of the Story?:

Not every crossover idea works.

The crossover is "Tremors" by the way.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

I actually wondered if you'd remember Nanoha and Fate...

I actually mentioned to Moczo over AIM that when you think about it, even when they get out of jail they're still screwed, since in three years Vivio would be 15 and Fate would be 17!

[Yasanagi]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Yeah, in such a situation it would be better to play along. Since these are dangerous individuals, it's best to keep things not hostile so no one gets hurt.

So now that I've actually gotten to play the game, I see we've been pretty far off in our portrayal of Material-L. She's not some hyper blood thirsty child, but rather she normally acts calm and cool with a bit of an edge, but when she screws up she gets all flustered and her attempts to regain composure are what can be seen as immature and 'sore-loser-ish." She says her threats in a menacing tone, not with the glee of a child pulling wings off a fly.

Anyways, I realise how far we've come so I'm not going to go back and rewrite everything so it matches. Your average reader has no idea how she should be and are none the wiser anyways. Something to keep in mind for the future, though.

I mentioned before how I was considering going back and changing her name atleast. I don't like how masculine Rai sounds, but Material-L does speak using masculine pronouns so I guess it is suitable. Then again, in Zafira's story she calls herself 'Raikou', which I'd turn into 'Raiko', since 'ko' is the typical way female names end.

To that, I will say...

'I reject the BoA Material-L and substitute her with my own'!

Hope that the GoD Material-L will be more interesting.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

I started off skeptically, as it seemed so...blah-ly ordinary, then I descended into mad laughter as I kept reading . The best part being when Nanoha entered the picture...and her last words to Lutecia at the end .

Vivio's awkward attempts to cheer Lutecia up were hilarious XD. And little cameos I loved included Hayate's own lawsuit, Auris Gaiz's hiring practices, and Chrono's bad-timing messages XDDDDDD.............

Very much intentional. I made it start as formulaic and sappy as possible to allow for the, well... me-ness to shine when I began going crazy.

... I will confess, my own favorite part was Auris's hiring practices. I laughed like a madman when I came up with 'Agent McChildkiller. XD

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Oh God, I remember this conversation. XD

By the end of it I was laughing so hard I was in tears. Let's just hope that for Vivio's sake, in the three years that pass, Nanoha can get past wanting to shank Lutecia and get along with her. And if this is what cold medicine produces, take more of it! I like this weird kind of writing!

I remembered it too.

Well, Overprotective Nanoha doesn't like her little Vivi being touched by the Big Bad Shadow, and she's obviously in a bad mood for other reasons as well. As for the medicine, I, um... I only take it when I have a cold, y'know.

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Pretty much. Unless having sex with Vivio somehow constitutes as some sort of moral issue.

I believe Detective Laine would like to speak with you.

Originally Posted by DezoPenguin

Oh, man! Just...LOL! (Come to think of it, now I want to know just how it is that Vivio at age 6 does have the emotional maturity of a child of 6. I mean, Fate at least had all of Alicia's memories shoehorned into her brain so she basically was Alicia at that point, but obviously Vivio wasn't the Sankt Kaiser...and come to think of it, there was that whole "where is my mama?" thing she was programmed with, and... No, I'm not supposed to be thinking serious thoughts in reaction to a humor fic!!! ) I actually wondered if you'd remember Nanoha and Fate...

Vivio has the maturity of a six-year old because Scaglietti injected her with science. Sweet, magical science. And how could I forget CSI's number one most wanted? Nanoha and Fate have been getting away with their crimes for far too long.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

Just a quick short.

Spoiler for New Omake:

Nanoha chuckled at something that she had heard on the radio as she walked up to her house. As she got to the door, she blinked as she heard a whimpering sound. Looking up, she stared at Vivio, who was sitting there, trembling. "Vivio? Come on down."

Vivio shook her head and trembled. "Nah uh! The worm will eat me!"

"Worm?" Nanoha gave her a flat look. "What have you been watching, Vivio?"

Vivio shook her head again. "Nah uh! Come up here! Now, please!"

Nanoha rolled her eyes. "That's it, Vivio, no more snacks before..." She trailed off as the ground under her shook. "What the?" Her eyes widened in shock as the ground opened up like a mouth and a body rose from the ground to surround her before closing down.

"MAMA!" Vivio screamed in shock, her eyes watering up as she trembled. What could she do now?

Before anything else happened, the creature let out a groan before it exploded, a geyser of orange and yellow fluids, as well as stringy insides erupted from the ground.

Vivio watched as her mother, covered in yellow and orange fluids, stringy entrails, floated out while glowing pink and holding her left hand up into the air, her finger outstretched. Reaching up to her face with her right hand, she wiped her face clean of the gunk. "Well, I've never been eaten like that before." Looking at herself, she grimaced. "I need to get cleaned up." Looking at Vivio, she smiled. "You coming, Vivio?"

"Okay, mama!" Vivio smiled as she jumped off the roof. When she got to the ground, she waved her hand in front of her. "Uh... I think I'll go hang out with Einhart until this smell goes away."

Nanoha just rolled her eyes.

Spoiler for Moral of the Story?:

Not every crossover idea works.

The crossover is "Tremors" by the way.

... actually, this doesn't even have to be a crossover. Not like the Nanoverse doesn't have it's own giant worm monsters.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Moczo

I believe Detective Laine would like to speak with you.

... Do not tempt me to introduce him into Shadowverse for the sole purpose of making some kind of age-related joke.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

... Do not tempt me to introduce him into Shadowverse for the sole purpose of making some kind of age-related joke.

I would consider it a badge of honor if my goofy little CSI parody from my goofy little short got into 'canon' for even a second.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Moczo

I would consider it a badge of honor if my goofy little CSI parody from my goofy little short got into 'canon' for even a second.

Stop tempting me.

[Moczo]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

Stop tempting me.

Um... no. I'm tempting you to do something I want you to do, so I am going to keep right on tempting.

Tempt, tempt.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Nanya01

Just a quick short.

Spoiler for New Omake:

Nanoha chuckled at something that she had heard on the radio as she walked up to her house. As she got to the door, she blinked as she heard a whimpering sound. Looking up, she stared at Vivio, who was sitting there, trembling. "Vivio? Come on down."

Vivio shook her head and trembled. "Nah uh! The worm will eat me!"

"Worm?" Nanoha gave her a flat look. "What have you been watching, Vivio?"

Vivio shook her head again. "Nah uh! Come up here! Now, please!"

Nanoha rolled her eyes. "That's it, Vivio, no more snacks before..." She trailed off as the ground under her shook. "What the?" Her eyes widened in shock as the ground opened up like a mouth and a body rose from the ground to surround her before closing down.

"MAMA!" Vivio screamed in shock, her eyes watering up as she trembled. What could she do now?

Before anything else happened, the creature let out a groan before it exploded, a geyser of orange and yellow fluids, as well as stringy insides erupted from the ground.

Vivio watched as her mother, covered in yellow and orange fluids, stringy entrails, floated out while glowing pink and holding her left hand up into the air, her finger outstretched. Reaching up to her face with her right hand, she wiped her face clean of the gunk. "Well, I've never been eaten like that before." Looking at herself, she grimaced. "I need to get cleaned up." Looking at Vivio, she smiled. "You coming, Vivio?"

"Okay, mama!" Vivio smiled as she jumped off the roof. When she got to the ground, she waved her hand in front of her. "Uh... I think I'll go hang out with Einhart until this smell goes away."

Nanoha just rolled her eyes.

Spoiler for Moral of the Story?:

Not every crossover idea works.

The crossover is "Tremors" by the way.

Heh, I figured it was Tremors even before reading your note. Since most of the cast can fly, I don't think they'd need to worry about those worms anyways.

[Tiresias]

Originally Posted by Moczo

All right, I haven't contributed a one-shot in awhile, let's see how this goes.

I guess you could... sorta... call this my contribution to our own Beamspam's Shadowverse. My own unique take on the 'Vivio Turns Eighteen' story that she is planning. My personal vision.

It may possibly be non-canon.

Maybe.

Kinda.

Sorta.

Definitely.

Spoiler for Crime and Punishment:

The only sounds for a long time had been gentle moans and soft gasps, the rustling of sheets, and the movement of flesh against flesh. Finally, though, one of the two women spoke.

“Happy eighteenth birthday, Vivio.” Lutecia Alphine said, happier than she had been in perhaps her entire life. All of her pain at the loss of her childhood, all of her guilt as a member of the Shadows, the TSAB’s secretive black operations division… all of that seemed just a bad dream as she stared into Vivio’s beautiful eyes.

“I love you, Cia.” Vivio Takamachi said. At this point in time, afterglow flooding her mind and exhaustion bringing an unbidden heaviness to her eyes, it was likely the only thing she could have said.

The two women lay intertwined among the tangled sheets of Lutecia’s small bed, sweat glistening on their exposed forms. Lutecia’s violet hair interwined freely with Vivio’s blonde locks, much as the new lovers themselves were intertwined. Both of them, they knew, were smiling like idiots, but at the moment caring was simply beyond them.

Finally, after years of waiting, it was Vivio’s coming of age; her eighteenth birthday and entry into legal adulthood… allowing the young woman and her longtime girlfriend to finally, finally consummate their relationship.

Finally, they belonged to each other in body in as they always had in soul.

Goofy smiles were to be expected in a moment so utterly perfect as this one.

“Vivio…” Lutecia whispered, brushing a few damp hairs off of Vivio’s brow. “I never thought I was allowed to be this happy.”

“Cia…” Vivio said, her smile only growing more brilliant. “I plan to make sure you-”

“FREEZE!”

“… eh?” Lutecia asked. That was not the romantic gesture she’d been expecting to hear, quite frankly.

“I didn’t say th-“ Vivio began, shortly before the door exploded inwards and a dozen men in body armor rushed into the room.

“What the Hell?!” Lutecia screamed, both women leaping for her discarded Devices, fully intending to fight back, only for the men to raise Devices of their own and wrap the two girls in chains of azure light.

“Lutecia Alphine?” Said the final man to enter the room, an older but still distinguished looking gentleman in a suit of middling quality.

Lutecia struggle futilely at the binding spell. Dammit… I should have known that no moment that good could last… She thought bitterly. Out loud, she said, “So, let me guess… I collapsed your operations, and you’re here to take it out of my hide? Forgive me if I don’t recognize you, all you scum look alike to me.”

The man smiled softly and shook his head. “A reasonable assumption… as an NSIS agent, you’ve certainly been responsible for any number of criminal organizations crumbling. But I’m afraid that you’re off.” He reached in his coat pocket and pulled out a badge marking him as a TSAB investigator himself. “Detective Ignatio Laine; CSI. I’m not some scum here for revenge on NSIS, I’m here to make sure the crimes that you have committed aren’t allowed to stay…” At this moment, for no discernable reason, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses, which he donned. “…in the Shadows.”

“… … … … huh?” Lutecia said.

“CSI. Clone Sex Investigations.” Laine said.

“... ... ... ... huh?” Lutecia said again.

“You must have suspected… you had sexual relations with that young woman, didn’t you?” Laine asked, pointing at Vivio. “Disregarding the fact that she is a twelve-year-old girl?”

“She’s eighteen! Believe me, I checked. I had a countdown of the days running for the last year!” Lutecia said fervently.

“No, she isn’t. She is a clone, artificially aged to the physical body of a six-year old at the time of her creation.” Laine said. “Physically she is eighteen, but chronologically? She's only twelve years old. Protecting innocent children…”

At this point, he gestured at Vivio, whose body more closely resembled that of a Supermodel than an innocent child.

“... like her, who have bodies that don’t match their minds… that’s why Clone Sex Investigations is here. For the children.” He finished piously.

“… that situation really comes up often enough that you need an entire crime unit?” Vivio asked.

“Not really. To be honest, I’m pretty sure our unit’s funding is supposed to be used to buy oatmeal for precinct cafeterias, and we only got it because of a budget mix-up.” Laine admitted. “But that isn't important; what is important is my need to make this formal… Lutecia Alphine, you are under arrest for the Statutory Rape of Vivio Takamachi. You have the right to remain silent…”

“This is such bullshit.” Lutecia growled.

“… but not the ability, I guess. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney…”

“Why do I need one?! She’s eighteen!”

“She’s twelve, I just told you this. And if you’ll let me finish, miss interrupter, I’m going to tell you that if you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed to you.”

“See? Things are looking up!” Vivio said hopefully.

“Vivio, honey, you’re not helping as much as you think you are.” Lutecia said wearily.

“All right, boys! Take this pervert away, and take Miss Takamachi home to her parents. Another job well… okay, a first job well done, you're actually the only person we've ever arrested, but that works for me.” Laine said.

“Um…” Vivio asked. “Can we at least get dressed?”

“I don’t see why not.” Laine said. He slipped off his sunglasses. “The only thing we need exposed around here…”

Sunglasses on.

“… is the truth.”

“I hate you.” Lutecia said.

“Don’t worry, Cia.” Vivio said confidently as her lover/assailant was dragged away. “We’ll fight this, tooth and nail. We’ll make clear that our love is pure and true, and we’ll bring forth all the many, many great heroes who know and respect you for your great deeds. We will fight, and I say this now… we will win.”

The Next Day…

“I’ll confess,” Vivio said, from the other side of the interview booth, “I really didn’t think they would find you guilty.”

“Especially not in one day.” Lutecia grumbled, picking at the itchy collar on her prison jumpsuit.

“I think Aunt Hayate getting slapped with a class-action Sexual Harassment lawsuit probably hurt her testimony as a character witness for you.” Vivio said.

“In retrospect, Queen Gropesalot was probably the worst possible person to help convince a jury I wasn’t a sexual deviant.” Lutecia agreed acidly.

“And Uncle Chrono testifying on the necessary and heroic nature of your Shadow work was probably weakened a little when he got an update during the trial from Agent… um…”

“Agent Slaughtermeister, I believe.” Lutecia said dully.

“Right. Who…”

“Burned down an orphanage to destroy at the narcotics ring operating beneath it… without telling the orphans.” Lutecia said. “Honestly, I’m not even sure why we employ that woman.”

“Her name is Slaughtermeister. That should have been a hint.” Vivio agreed.

“In her defense, that was her married name, changed after she joined that Shadows.”

“What was her maiden name?”

"Doomslayer.”

“… … …”

“Yeah, you don’t need to say it. Hiring processes have gone to Hell ever since Auris Gaiz took over as Deputy Chief.” Lutecia admitted.

“Well… um… at least you’ll have company?” Vivio said, looking a little further down the visiting room, where a teary-eyed Fate sat talking to Nanoha, who was wearing an identical jumpsuit to Lutecia.

“Yeah… I was going to ask…”

“Apparently, according to the CPL… clone protection laws? They’re new, I guess…”

“Yes, I like to think I would have heard of them before the imprisonment if they weren’t new.” Lutecia said bitterly.

“Well, anyway, the gist is that Fate-mama was technically only 14 years old when they got married.” Vivio said. “And then he said something about ‘this time, there won’t be any sympathy… for the devil’, and put on a pair of sunglasses.”

“I really hate that guy.” Lutecia growled.

“He’s not my favorite person.” Vivio agreed.

Chrono Harlaown, Lutecia’s superior, walked into the room and placed his hand on Vivio’s shoulder. “Um… Visiting hours are over, girls. Lutecia, I’m really very sorry about this…”

“Not as sorry as I am.”

“I expect not. Well… we’ll of course be appealing this every step of the way. And your Shadow duties will be taken over by another agent, so don’t worry about that.”

“Storm?”

“As much as he can; we’ll assign him a new partner to pick up the slack. I was thinking Agent Torturo. Maybe Agent McChildkiller.”

“… … … you really ought to have a word with Deputy Director Gaiz about who she scouts, sir.”

“I am realizing this, yes.” Chrono agreed. “Fate, Vivio? Let’s go home.”

“Don’t worry, Cia!” Vivio said. “It’s only three years at the most, right?”

“Yes… I know.” Lutecia said in a dead sort of voice.

“I mean, we’ve waited that long before, right?”

“Yes.” Lutecia said dully. “Exactly that long.”

“I mean, it’s sort of ironic, isn’t it? That you should be sentenced for exactly the same length of time you had to wait for me to turn eighteen? Like one three-year wait led directly to ano-“

“Yes, Vivio, I figured that out on my own.” Lutecia said.

“… … well, I thought it might cheer you up.” Vivio said.

“……………………” Lutecia said.

“Like, our little in-joke.” Vivio said, a little more doubtfully.

“……………………” Lutecia said.

“Someday we’ll look back on this and laugh, I’m sure.” Vivio said, the doubt in her voice so thick you could have drowned in it.

“…………………… Vivio? Honey, darling, love of my life?” Lutecia said.

“Y-yes?” Vivio asked.

“Stop helping.”

"... I'm going to go home, now?" Vivio said, her tone not really clear if she was asking or saying.

"That might be for the best." Lutecia agreed.

Chrono, Fate, and Vivio left the room and shortly the prison, leaving Nanoha and Lutecia alone with only a thin wall between them.

"So... um... looking forward to getting to know you?" Lutecia said.

"You laid hands on my daughter." Nanoha said.

"... ... okay, in my defense, and I realize how this sounds, she told me she was eighteen."

"I may shank you." Nanoha said, as if Cia had not spoken. "I haven't decided yet."

Lutecia sighed. It really did look like the next three years would be even longer than the previous...

1. The way Lu got sentenced guilty so fast reminded me of Deadman Wonderland
2. Hmm, Laine reminded me of someone... *gasp* Is this a sign for a new Center Ring chapter? I want the CSI duo Vice and Acous to irritate Hayate even more
3. If this frustrates Lutecia so much, might be better to turn a new leaf. Three years is a long wait, and she's not the only one stuck in that place due to the whole "clone age" thing
4. Does the new law also cover cyborgs? Or cyborgs with cloned genes at the very least? Then perhaps the prison is missing a certain tsundere gunslinger...

Originally Posted by Moczo

Um... no. I'm tempting you to do something I want you to do, so I am going to keep right on tempting.

Tempt, tempt.

You fool! such attitude would only discourage her! You must pretend otherwise!

"D-don't get me wrong! I wasn't trying to tempt you...I-I don't care whether my piece become canon, at all! Th-that's right, I'm happy enough to just have my story told, really...th-though I guess it would be nice if it actually happens blush Mou! What are you making me saying?! BAKA!!!"

[Shigan]

Originally Posted by deathcurse

Well, I'll probably elaborate more in my longer review, but as mentioned, it's the little things you do that not only make the story comedic but also touching and different. Drunk Hayate and Fate are hilarious beyond measure XD.

Dear gods, one of these days I'll sit down and draft my ideas of a Hayate focused story to my timeline and all the world shall tremble in awe and horror of what this woman can unleash. With or without the alcohol. *Fading ominous cackling laughter*

Deathcurse: Thank you for one hell of a Vivio review O_o. I'm so used to reviews of the "Wowz u should wr1te MOAR!!" length that your wall of text nearly knocked me off my chair. Lol! So you caught the Shiznat reference xD, I just couldn't resist. As for Lutecia's tactical choice, I didn't really think her skills over when I wrote that. My idea was just to stick the girl into the heat by any means and have a wall topple over her.

I needed a Vivio-to-the-rescue scene, and it struck me to make Lutecia a sort of rear-guard mage of some sort. She cast that horribly draining shield out of necessity and desperation because her colleges went down and needed protection. Again, I just wanted her to do something very out of her league so she could bleed all over Vivio. I wanted their first face-to-face meeting to be amidst blood and dust and mad explosions, because that's what Viv needed to get her out of her dating slump. Viv in my universe is a girl very frustrated with love, so I wanted her to meet a Lutecia who possesses a lot of substance, and what better way to do that than through the passing of duty?

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam or deathcurse, cant remember ^^;

Aha! I see your point . So you mean "Shadowverse story" as in "epicness resulting in changing plot and career directions and moral codes", not as "things that happen to Lutecia within this universe"?

Seriously though, your Shadowverse really needs an epic on the scale of dezopenguin's Stahlkönign, because it deserves nothing less. You've done all the small details of them falling in love and so and such, all the emotional traumas involving the families are done and dealt with (mostly). Let's have a mad, high-frenzied, magical, cyberpunk story with a lot of explosions, undercover ops, strapless cocktail-dresses involving a Shadow-war or something. Tempt tempt.

[blitz1/2]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Yeah, in such a situation it would be better to play along. Since these are dangerous individuals, it's best to keep things not hostile so no one gets hurt.

So now that I've actually gotten to play the game, I see we've been pretty far off in our portrayal of Material-L. She's not some hyper blood thirsty child, but rather she normally acts calm and cool with a bit of an edge, but when she screws up she gets all flustered and her attempts to regain composure are what can be seen as immature and 'sore-loser-ish." She says her threats in a menacing tone, not with the glee of a child pulling wings off a fly.

Anyways, I realise how far we've come so I'm not going to go back and rewrite everything so it matches. Your average reader has no idea how she should be and are none the wiser anyways. Something to keep in mind for the future, though.

I mentioned before how I was considering going back and changing her name atleast. I don't like how masculine Rai sounds, but Material-L does speak using masculine pronouns so I guess it is suitable. Then again, in Zafira's story she calls herself 'Raikou', which I'd turn into 'Raiko', since 'ko' is the typical way female names end.

So, i other means
Material L = Remilia Scarlet's charisma + appearance of Fate.

There's another idea for you guys to write about. xd (charisma break)

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by blitz1/2

So, i other means
Material L = Remilia Scarlet's charisma + appearance of Fate.

There's another idea for you guys to write about. xd (charisma break)

Dunno who you're refering to

Well, now that I've unlocked Material-L and played as her I can note how... chipper she is in her victory quotes.

So basically she's serious towards her enemies, gets flustered when she screws up, and is happy when she wins. So I guess Material-L is... like a normal person?

Well, she is supposed to be Fate who never had Arf or met Nanoha so I'd say she's twisted to an extent. Not that bright either, as Shamal easily tricks her into spilling the beans.

[Nanya01]

Here's a comment that I got on DA (person didn't know it was me) that was nice.

It's very rare to find fanfics that concerns the whole cast.

The only ones who managed to do that feat were the writers; Nanya, Radiant Bream, F91, Mozco and Kaijo.

The majority I see in FF.net, touches only FateXNanoha... I want a little break from that...