Nanoha Fanfic Discussion

[Dark Wing]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Vivio has way too much potential to just look over.

Agreed I'm also going to continue my fic as soon as my essays are research papers done as well...Man school is hard.

[Chaos2Frozen]

Originally Posted by FlareKnight

Ah too bad that talk seemed like it'd be hilarious. But oh well

So if Chaos isn't the last boss....Where are we going to find a greater source of evil at this time of year? Wouldn't they all be busy?

Look hard enough, you'll find him right under your very nose

Though very subtle, that person is truely more evil and cold than I can ever be...

And techincally, I'm suppose to be busy, I've sacrificed my final year project to be doing this

Originally Posted by FlareKnight

Sadly Satashi is the only one who made Vivio a good character. The writers should've asked for some help in making her better. Or just letting her exist in those stories and helping the character development for the others in the series .

You have to change alot about her to get that, right now she's too much of a straight flat line.

I support that bring back from the dead and turn evil scenario... Only because she has to be dead first

[Jimmy C]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Vivio has way too much potential to just look over. In 6th Division she especially plays a large role

But two decades after the StrikerS period? Speaking of which, there was something I wanted to point out before your semi-retirement. If you're going to continue the Vivio story, you should think carefully about the characters' careers in the gap. Being stuck in the same post for 20 years is doing a disservice to such capable people.

[FlareKnight]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Vivio has way too much potential to just look over. In 6th Division she especially plays a large role >: D but that's all you get to know ^^

Studying? What's that? Oh yeah...I think I did that a few years ago when I was in college O.< MAybe... possibly... nah. Enjoy studying while you can. I'd MUCH rather write a term paper or essay than work like I do -.- speaking of, break time is almost over so I gotta go out and make sure everyone is working *Sighs*

Sadly have to agree on that last point. After working full time this summer at a chocolate factory (no the movie was a complete and utter lie) school is a haven in comparison. Quite the odd thing when your actually looking forward to go back.

Originally Posted by Chaos2Frozen

Look hard enough, you'll find him right under your very nose

Though very subtle, that person is truely more evil and cold than I can ever be...

Of course....he's underground . *grabs shovel* Hang on evil guy I'll get you out of there. I'll give you guys a call when I find him and thus unleash a terrible evil upon the earth. Or the other possibility is cracking the earths core thus unleashing a lava flow that will burn and destroy all that lives....of course that might be negative on me so I might not have time to call you on that.

Whew was worried it might be me. But having Flare in my name clearly would absovle me of being anyone cold .

Just to avoid being off topic. Fanfics are great!

In terms of careers...maybe they *really* like their jobs? Personally never happened to me but hey anything can happen.

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

But two decades after the StrikerS period? Speaking of which, there was something I wanted to point out before your semi-retirement. If you're going to continue the Vivio story, you should think carefully about the characters' careers in the gap. Being stuck in the same post for 20 years is doing a disservice to such capable people.

don't worry, everyone has their career planned out already and will be revealed at the end of Redemption. the Vivio storyline isn't an offical ending of 6th Division, as it was made as a joke up until half way through :P It's like a side story that trailed from the original

[USB500]

Diary of a Wind Talker, Summer Special, Part V

The fan service is strong within this one.

[arkhangelsk]

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

But two decades after the StrikerS period? Speaking of which, there was something I wanted to point out before your semi-retirement. If you're going to continue the Vivio story, you should think carefully about the characters' careers in the gap. Being stuck in the same post for 20 years is doing a disservice to such capable people.

Should I tsukkomi using the point that maybe they really aren't that capable after all? Nah.

Given their career progression, when they reach the age of Satashi's Vivio story, they'd be around 29-30ish. 20 years of service ... them being a little faster than average ... they'd be either a Colonel or a Brigadier. Well, they won't be having much fun - neither of them seem like the paperwork type.

To continue the joke, Hayate must be a General by then.

[Liingo]

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

But two decades after the StrikerS period? Speaking of which, there was something I wanted to point out before your semi-retirement. If you're going to continue the Vivio story, you should think carefully about the characters' careers in the gap. Being stuck in the same post for 20 years is doing a disservice to such capable people.

Originally Posted by arkhangelsk

Should I tsukkomi using the point that maybe they really aren't that capable after all? Nah.

Given their career progression, when they reach the age of Satashi's Vivio story, they'd be around 29-30ish. 20 years of service ... them being a little faster than average ... they'd be either a Colonel or a Brigadier. Well, they won't be having much fun - neither of them seem like the paperwork type.

To continue the joke, Hayate must be a General by then.

Continuing on that point, it could just mean that they've refused promotions to stay in the field since the further up the chain you go, the more time you spend behind a desk...

Although considering how badly shafted Hayate has been in StrikerS, it seems that it starts pretty early at Lt. Colonel

[Satashi]

Logically, though, they won't all progress like that. Nanoha/Fate/Hayate/Chrono are all prodigies in their field, whereas the forwards are just highly skilled. Gotta remember that, for example, Lutecia had to have almost the entire forward team plus vita to capture her, yet Fate at age 9 probably could have done it by herself if she was serious. Hayate is a rare ability user, and got promoted faster than the rest (as was started in StrikerS)

So I think the forwards will be around what the Ace's rank is right now when they are 30-ish, if they even do that, and depending on their career choices.

Example: Tia can out rank Nanoha if she progressed along the line of enforcer, because Nanoha has her rank and position. the only way Nanoha can military rank up is if she goes out and does something else to deserve it. If she stays a teacher at section six, she will not get promoted. Such as Hayate out ranking Nanoha/Fate because she wanted to lead a unit, whereas the other two chose seperate paths ( enforcer/Instructor) Hayate progressed forward to get promoted, whereas Nanoha and Fate got what they wanted and stayed with it.

Also, in 6th Division, please remember that I try to make it as realistic as possible. Look at the forwards, why are they there? Subaru/Tia were drafted by Nanoha. Elio/Caro were drafted by Fate. Nanoha/Fate/the Knights were drafted by Hayate. If Subaru wants to be an instructor like Nanoha, she would have to leave 6th Divison. if Tia wanted to be in the air force, she would also leave. Leave being request for transfer to another unit to progress towards their goals. So disregarding their rank, they may not even be there anymore ^.~

[Liingo]

Some good points there Satashi..

It does depend a lot on what they want to do.. a promotion may help or hinder their ambitions (usually help but as I mentioned before, there's a point where you are (usually) no longer are involved in field duties)

In honour of Keroko-chan day, here's my conrtibution to the madness (reposted from the OC thread).. Prior knowledge of the characters not needed, although it can help a little

Enjoy

Spoiler for Uh oh....:

It was nearly the end of the day. Groups of mages were streaming out of the practice fields, getting ready to go home after a stressful day of training. Myristic nodded at them as he walked past; wanting to make sure they had left the rooms tidy for tomorrow.

The corridors were empty, and he had checked all but one floor. Making his way down the stairs, the unexpected force and shockwave of a magical explosion breaking through the containment barriers nearly knocked him off his feet. The corridor was bathed in a brilliant red as he raced around the corner, throwing open the door to the room.

The far wall of the room was now a singed black with hints of red in the centre, thin layers of black ash covering the room in various locations. The obliterated remains of what should be a target dummy lay smoking on the floor, the bottom half of the stand visible among the debris. In the middle of it all stood a single person. One that Myristic had never expected to find on the grounds. The top of her head was covered in ash, contrasting with the vibrant red of her hair, an uncanny match to her barrier jacket.

“Yare yare, ” Myristic said, shaking his head….. “I recall extending an open invitation to all of RF6 to use out facilities if they need to….. BUT…..Of all the rooms you had to pick, it had to be one of those reserved for the cadets, with A-rank shield generators.” The figure remained silent, bringing her left arm up to brush through her hair. “So what brings you here, other than to destroy our facilities, Keroko-taichou… or should I say…. Deathwing-sama?”

Ash fell to the floor around her as she turned; deactivating her barrier jacket, head up proud, meeting Myristic’s eyes. She held her gaze for seconds before turning away, clearly embarrassed at what she had done. “Go..gomen.”

“Well this is a side that I haven’t seen of you before…. Then again, I never expected this to happen either… so maybe it’s one of those days.”

“Not a bad day” She sighed “… more like a bad week…. It just got more and more stressful.. Although I do feel a lot better now.”

Myristic threw his head back, laughter erupting at the last comment. Soon after she joined in, filling the room with joy and happiness. “Right, let’s get this place cleaned up.”

*****

Cleaning over, they headed over to the officer quarters in silence. The entrance was lit, a warm inviting glow. As they passed under the light, Myristic noticed the ash still in her hair. “You better wash once we get up there… otherwise it’s going to be hell to get out later.”

“Eehh?” Reaching up behind her, Keroko ran her fingers through her hair before bringing them to her eyes. “Aahh mou….” She pouted at the sight… “I’m just going to borrow your shower…”

“No worries, first door on the right after you go up the stairs.”

“Thanks!” She said as she raced off.

*****

“Georashi-san…. Are you ok?” She had been in the shower for the last half hour and Myristic was starting to get a little worried.

“I’m fine.” She called, “Just trying to get it all out.”

“Do you need any help?” He asked.

“If you don’t mind…. I’ll be out in a second.”

A minute later, the door to the bath opened, Keroko stepping out, her blouse and skirt spotted with ash. Myristic turned at the sound of the door, shaking his head, “So what was the point of the shower if you’re just going to wear the same dirty clothes…?” he asked. “You can borrow one of my shirts you know.”

“Well… I considered coming out in a towel…..” Blood rushed to Myristic’s cheeks at the thought, “I can if you want…” she teased playfully.

“What happens if I asked you to make good on that….” Myristic counted. It was Keroko’s turn to blush, her red cheeks coming close to matching her hair.

“I’d kick you where it hurts and then storm out of here…” She replied as she sat down in front of him on the edge of the bed. “Here.” Reaching behind her, she passed him the brush that she had been using. “There’s just a patch that I can’t seem to shake free.”

Myristic took the brush from her hands and gently ran it through her hair, small flakes of black falling away as he pulled through. He continued for another five minutes in silence until Keroko spoke up, “Ahh that feels really good… where did you learn to brush a girl’s hair like this?” She asked.

“My sisters… also I got quite a bit of practice with the female Weavers…” He checked with his fingers for any missed fragments before announcing, “All done.”

“WAI!! Thanks!!” She jumped up from the bed using her hands to push her forward. “I’ll take you up on that offer of clothes.” With that, she disappeared again into the bathroom. Amused at her actions, that her mood had changed so dramatically in the space of 2 or so hours, he opened his wardrobe, pulling out a plain shirt.

“Hmm, I think my pants will be too large for her… now how it this going to work..” He said aloud. “I guess I can just borrow something from Mei.” He hung the shirt on the door, “There’s a shirt on the door,” he called, “Just trying to find a bottom… be back in a moment.”

*****

It took 10 minutes for him to get a skirt. Most of that time consisted of attempts by Meia to figure out who his ‘girlfriend’ was, followed by denials, that she was just a friend, nothing more. ‘Actually I’m still not sure she believes me….’ He thought. Myristic sighed… ‘I’m going to have to clear this up quick; otherwise the office is going to be really annoying next week.’ He stepped back inside his quarters to see Keroko in his shirt and nothing else, getting a glass of water. “Errrr, the skirts on the bed!” he called as he made a hasty retreat, heading back towards the door.

At that moment, he door to the room swung open, “Sir, Admiral Chrono is here to see you.” Isamu announced as they stepped inside.

“Captain, good to see you… Great news, your request for funding was…..” Chrono’s voice trailed off as Keroko walked into view, making her way to the bed.

“Thanks Myristic for all this,” she called, unaware of Chrono and Isamu standing at the door. Reaching the bed, she stopped and picked the skirt up before turning to face the door, “KYAAAAAAA.” Her cry of surprise filled the room as she ran out of sight.

“….. I think this is a bad time….. Captain… Make an appointment to see me ASAP.”

"Wait...." The door closed behind them as they made a hurried exit.." It's not what you think it is.."

"This week is just getting worse and worse......" Keroko complained around the corner.

--------------
Final thought from Myristic ‘I’m so dead on Monday….’
Final thought from Keroko ‘Can it get any worse?’

Spoiler for OC characters involved:

-Keroko
-Myristic
-Meia(Mei), An officer under Myristics Command
-Isamu -- Another officer under Myristics Command

-All the original characters except for Keroko are my OC's

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by Liingo

Some good points there Satashi..

It does depend a lot on what they want to do.. a promotion may help or hinder their ambitions (usually help but as I mentioned before, there's a point where you are (usually) no longer are involved in field duties)

XD yeah, like in my story, Fate always complains about doing paper work lol

[Lunariska]

i just did read the three 6th Division Book I / II / III fanfics straight in 2 days w/o break and i'm amazed
there ARE people with enough Talent for proffesional work out there
i enjoyed it a lot and i even was absent from some chores in MMO's to finish it
have yet to read the other fanfics from Satashi
( especially the first-person start of each chapter was quite a change of scenary. all in all, i give the story a 8 out of 10. there were some things i didn't like much, but nothing all too major. i though you'd give subaru and tia a bit more screen time for their relationship, but, after all, they're not the main leads, so it was nothing but keeping the hope up )

so. i'll head to bed after not sleeping for almost 48 hours. keep the good work up

[KeithKurogane]

I'm just feel bad caude there are less NanohaYuuno, FateChrono (yeah i know... theyre now siblings...) and CaroErio fanfict...
I wish someone make a romantic CaroErio fanfict...

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by Lunariska

i just did read the three 6th Division Book I / II / III fanfics straight in 2 days w/o break and i'm amazed
there ARE people with enough Talent for proffesional work out there
i enjoyed it a lot and i even was absent from some chores in MMO's to finish it
have yet to read the other fanfics from Satashi
( especially the first-person start of each chapter was quite a change of scenary. all in all, i give the story a 8 out of 10. there were some things i didn't like much, but nothing all too major. i though you'd give subaru and tia a bit more screen time for their relationship, but, after all, they're not the main leads, so it was nothing but keeping the hope up )

so. i'll head to bed after not sleeping for almost 48 hours. keep the good work up

XD glad you liked it ^^ Tia and Subaru have a little more time, but it's still primarily Fate/Nanoha.[shamless self plug] check out Tourmaline Feelings if you want a Tia/Subaru story. [/end plug]

Originally Posted by KeithKurogane

I'm just feel bad caude there are less NanohaYuuno, FateChrono (yeah i know... theyre now siblings...) and CaroErio fanfict...
I wish someone make a romantic CaroErio fanfict...

I may try my hands at a Caro/Elio fic one of these days....... and yeah, world needs more Yuunohas

[Chaos2Frozen]

Originally Posted by Satashi

I may try my hands at a Caro/Elio fic one of these days....... and yeah, world needs more Yuunohas

I can feel the eyes from the twisting nether...

[Satashi]

update:

Redemption: 4,776 words, 80% done.
ETA: Monday night, late/ Tuesday night, late.

[Lunariska]

i'll take a break before reading the next fanfic, i got scolded like hell for being absent from chores XD''

another review to the 6th division:
believe it or know i'd knew about 90% of the charackters/qoutes you'd make and it was quite funny. Nanoha saying "Beam me up scotty" was priceless.
some charackters were chosen carefully, some were a bit random, such as Haseo. he's a emo, psychotic, "i WILL HAVE MY REVENGE GOOOAH" charackter and was hard to imagine as Waiter, lol
and how i laughed when i saw Kha! i was like "wtf.. *looks up to animesuki* it's he.. LOL, it's really he!"
i just happen to think, you used the whole .hack// system a bit too much. datatrain, kitee, tri-edge, i've read in a review about balmung etc
i definitly need to find my fanfiction.net password before i'll spamm this thread xD
as for me, not being english native, nor having any english classes on school, i had some times a little problem understanding the stuff but it was all in all really newb friendly written.

from the start, i just had to think for a second, what you meant with "mou" and "che" or "shush" till i spoke they out loudly a few times, and someone in teamspeak asked me if i used some drugs. XD

edit1:
just to mention it before i got to work
i personally think the actual show would be way more popular when tey used your fanfic as actual script. ( ok, more popular among the legion obviously *ehem* )

edit2:
i'd like a bit less .hack//
it seems they invaded nanoha-versum quite a bit. they need definitly a hit on the head. ( just don't let haseo turn intio some black-armor scyth wielding mob XD'' )

[Satashi]

Quick update for today:

almost done, will be finished tomorrow, I'm just ultra sleepy tonight >.<

[Fuyu no Sora]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Quick update for today:

almost done, will be finished tomorrow, I'm just ultra sleepy tonight >.<

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ^^

It's good to see that for once you're willing to rest early ^^

Good night, Satashi-san ^^

[USB500]

Hmm... haven't had updates on my official Nanoverse fanfic (my Lyrical of Time saga is yet to continue) but I'm thinking of doing one on the canon characters. I can't reveal the details here yet, but right now my mind keeps seeing Vivio. So....

Fuyu-chan, are you done?