2009-03-09, 23:21 | Link #3725 |
Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW
Join Date: Dec 2005
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ET ANOTHER EDITION OF 'QUOTES TO THINK ABOUT'....
“Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.: ) Aphorist Eric Hoffer “Unless a man undertakes more than he possibly can do, he will never do all that he can.” - Author Henry Drummond “If nobody spoke unless he had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech.” - W. Somerset Maugham “The learned man knows that he is ignorant.” - Victor Hugo “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” - John F. Kennedy “True happiness is knowing you're a hypocrite.” Musician Ivor Cutler “Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.” - Writer Bill Vaughan “Miracles are propitious accidents, the natural causes of which are too complicated to be readily understood.” - George Santayana “The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.” - Actor Paul Fix “The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.” - Author James Branch Cabell “If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” - Anatole France “I'd rather be governed by a wise Turk than a stupid Christian.” - Martin Luther “Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.” - Former Canadian first lady Maryon Pearson
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2009-03-09, 23:36 | Link #3726 |
Teddytears
Graphic Designer
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Person 1:'Some guy tried to sell me weed here'
Person 2:'Some guy tried to sell me weed in the library. And you know what, I said "no" to drugs, where's my lifetime of happiness?' Person 1: *shrugs* Person 2: *points to his girlfriend* 'There it is' Person 1: 'Let's just see how long this lifetime is.' Person 2: *looks and nods* *thirty seconds later* Person 1: 'Aw crap, I could've made a "24" reference there!'
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2009-03-10, 15:39 | Link #3729 |
(。☉౪ ⊙。)
Author
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: In Maya world, where all is 3D and everything crashes
Age: 36
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this made me lol
http://community.norton.com/norton/b...id=39119&jump= true >O LAWD IM CHOKIN ON PIFTS PLZ HALP > OH GOD YOU GOT CHOCOLATE IN MY PIFTS >If you wanna be my NORTON/ you gotta deal with my P ! F T S . E X E >IF PIFTS.EXE WAS HERE, THEN WHO WAS PHONE? >PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE PIFTS.EXE >I LOVE MY PIFTS.EXE |
2009-03-10, 21:42 | Link #3730 | |
Senior Member
Author
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Philippines
Age: 47
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2009-03-11, 00:02 | Link #3731 |
Gundam Boobs and Boom FTW
Join Date: Dec 2005
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Dear Employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement.. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attentionof your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely, Management P.S.Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience.
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2009-03-11, 02:03 | Link #3732 |
♪♫ Maya Iincho ♩♬
Artist
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Some jokes for ya (All of these are from Comedy Central, btw)
I Chose the one that made me laugh. Hope ya like them too. Most are from the Sex tag of the joke section Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy? Spoiler for answer:
Q: What's about six inches long and produces a white, frothy substance when rubbed back and forth and in and out? Spoiler for answer:
** Two neighbors, John and Sam, are always competing. One day John looks over the fence and spies Sam's wife, naked, watering the garden. When Sam gets home from work, John brags to him that he's seen his wife naked. Sam wants revenge, so that night creeps over to John's yard and catches sight of John's wife performing oral sex. The next day, Sam approaches John at the mailbox. "Hey, I saw your wife performing oral sex on you last night." "Ha ha, the joke's on you," John says, "I wasn't home last night!" ** Q: Mommy, what's that old wrinkly think on grandma? Spoiler for Answer:
** What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? Spoiler for Answer:
** Longer Joke so i stuck it in a spoiler Spoiler for Drastic Diet:
**** Two old ladies were standing on a street corner smoking cigarettes. It started to rain and one lady said, ''Great, now I'll have to put this out.'' The other lady said, ''No you don't, i have some cigarette covers here.'' She proceeded to take a trojan out of her purse, cut the end off and put it over her cigarette. The other lady asked, ''Where did you get that?'' The second lady replied, ''Just go to the drug store and ask for some condoms.'' The next day the first lady went to her local drug store and said to the clerk,''I'd like some condoms please.'' The clerk replied,''What size please?'' The lady said, ''One big enough to fit a Camel.'' *** A boy was playing with himself in the bathtub when his father walked in and said, “Son, if you don't stop doing that, you'll go blind.” The boy said, “Dad, I'm over here **
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2009-03-11, 02:20 | Link #3733 | |
思想工作
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Vereinigte Staaten
Age: 32
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2009-03-11, 14:46 | Link #3739 | |
Hige
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: God only knows
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Well, anoter kinda funny video. Japanese playing HL2 with some crazy map. Ventrilo/Ts was recorded. Well, for those, who understand japanese its more funny, i guess. http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm1396067
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2009-03-11, 19:55 | Link #3740 |
思想工作
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Vereinigte Staaten
Age: 32
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Not really a lol but...
I was talking to my friend in my history classroom during lunch today, and I explained Demongod's acronym story to him. Then he loled, went to a computer, found the text of the joke, and printed it out and put it on the wall near the door. Then my history teacher came in as the bell rang and started reading the paper. He started laughing and since he was near the door people coming also starting looking at what he was laughing about and soon like half to class was jammed around the doorway reading to paper on the wall and it took like ten minutes for the way to be cleared. Then some girl took the sheet, went to the library, and printed like 30 copies and distributed them to another history class before coming back and giving the extras to people who hadn't read it yet. Then we took a test made up of essay questions about Hitler and what he did to Jewish people. |
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