Operation Wingmen.
One can say that Chrono Harlaown is a busy person, TSAB Admiral, father of two children, talented mage and the one that people tend to seek when it’s time to pay the bills for the massive property damage that some of his most enthusiastic friends seem to generate during their fights.
But, despite his dedication to his work, he needs to take a break every once in while like every normal person, forgetting his about his work, his family and PR for just a day.
That’s why four men were sitting around a table in a random pub in Cranagan, obviously the blue haired admiral, Yuuno Scrya, the chief librarian of the Infinite Libray and probably Chrono’s best friend, (not that any one of the two would ever admit it in public) who was just dragged out from his workplace a couple of minutes ago by his friend, in what he called an act of pity toward endangered species. Seriously, the man looked like he could use a couple of days of sleep.
Next to the blond haired librarian was Vice Grandscenic, excellent sniper and chopper pilot, always present when booze and pretty waitress where present, and strangely enough a good friend with the rest of the group thanks to what they called their sessions of male bonding, with the great majority of their mutual friends being female, they all needed a day every once in a while in which they could let out their masculinity freely.
Last but not least, Zafira, Hayate’s guarding beast who, even with his great sense of loyalty, needed every once in a while a pause form his all-female family. Also the Comiket was nearing, so the proud Zafira proudly ran away, and was planning on disappearing for a couple of days, he loved Hayate dearly, but he was not going to be a dress up doll willingly.
Each and every one of them was there to escape from work, family and to enjoy the company of some fellow males, get drunk, and discuss some very important business away from the earshot of some of their other friends, like for example which waitress had the biggest rack, very important business indeed.
“That new brunette in definitely my type, I’m gonna ask her number.” The sniper declared once he had his target in sight, gulped down the contents of his mug and mentally prepared for the mission.
“Ten bucks that she’ll just laugh and give him a fake number.” Chrono declared once the sniper got up, putting a bill on the table.
“Ten that he’ll get the real one… this time.” Yuuno said adding his own bill.
“Ten that he’ll make a stupid comment and will get slapped in the face, returning here empty handed.” Zafira added his own bill on top of the other two, maintaining his usual stoic demeanor.
And what the guardian beast predicted happened right in front of the other two eyes as the white haired man took his win with a smug smile on his face, and handing half of it to the grinning man hat sat back again at their table.
“Totally worth it!” Vice said grinning and pocketing his half while massaging his red cheek, enjoying the faces of two other members of the group.
“Che, you plotting bastards.” Chrono snorted taking a sip from his mug. “If you continued like this you’ll never find a woman.”
“Pff Admiral, my kill count is already higher than yours.”
“As if that’s difficult to surpass.” Yuuno immediately jumped at the rare occasion to tease his friend. “One isn’t exactly a result to gloat bout, and I don’t see it going to raise soom.”
“Umu…” Zafira nodded sagely with a smirk on his face.
“Yeah, gang in the poor married man.” Chrono snorted. “I wish you all twins.”
“Urk…please have mercy, I’m still too young and handsome to die.” Vice replied laughing awkwardly. “But I’m sure that the Professor here has plenty of interesting stories for us, with all these sexy librarians around you, life in there must be a bliss.”
“Ghe…”
“What’s wrong oh Almighty Ferret, too embarrassed to share your stories.” Chrono teased his embarrassed friend.
“I-It’s not like that…” Yuuno trailed of, searching his mind for a new topic. “I-It’s just that…”
“Scrya, could it be that you are…” Zafira started, giving his an evaluative stare. “…Yeah, that must be it.” The guardian beast nodded to himself, receiving two set of curious looks from the sniper and the admiral.
“What do you mean Zafs?” Vice decided to inquire.
“That’s not my place to say…”
“Wait…Could it be that…” Chrono started as realization hit him like an arrow. “…Oh my good Ferret-boy, you’re still pure!” He shouted pointing a finger toward the embarrassed librarian.
“Ghe, no need to shout it from the rooftops.” Yuuno replied blushing.
“The situation is more grave than what I could have imagined.” Chrono, probably affected by the alcohol and having left his professional side locked inside his office, started to ramble incoherently shaking his head.
“This is serious business indeed.” Vice agreed nodding.
“Agreed.” Zafira nodded as well.
“Even you Zafira.” Yuuno sighed, slamming his open palm on his face. “And here I thought that you were asexual.”
“Wolf, thousand years and female masters.” The white haired man replied shrugging. “I had more than what I wanted, that’s why I usually stay in my wolf form most of the time to try to blend with the furniture.”
Somehow the three other men had the vision of a big furry toothed blue armchair on which no one dared to seat.
“This situation requires immediate action.” Chrono declared, apparently snapping out from his ramblings. “I’m willing to admit that I’m partially at fault for this.”
“I have a bad feeling about this…” Yuuno muttered, Chrono never admits when he’s at fault.
“Rejoice Ferret-boy, cause we’re going to perform one of the most sacred duty a man can perform for another one.” Chrono declared standing up and opening his arms, looking somehow like a certain fake preist. “Because tonight your whish shall be granted, we’re going to be your Wingmens.”
“Rest assured Professor, even if we must die tonight, I promise you that you’ll get some.” Vice declared, following Chrono example and standing up to put a hand on his drink buddy’s shoulder.
“This guardian beast will follow you till the end of this sacred task.” Zafira added as well, taking place on the opposite side of Vice, not drunk like the other two, but willing to see how this will end just for shit and giggles.
“Alright then, Zafira, restrain the ferret, Vice, procure some more alcohol.” Chrono started to order, emptying his mug and assuming the same expression he would have in the middle of an important operation. “Let the operation Wingmen being!” He dramatically declared with fire burning in his eyes.
“Yes Sir!” His two accomplices replied giving him a salute and immediately starting to perform their duties.
“Please someone help me!” Yuuno cried in desperation, already starting to image how badly this was going to end…
Mission Report 01: Wisdom
The next morning Yuuno got up with the strongest headache he had ever since he tried to use his scrying spell on fifty books at time to try to speed up his work, not exactly his smartest plan ever.
He was sure that this was going to be his worst hangover, not the first, definitely not the last, but he doubted that anything else could top this one. The only good thing was that he felt somehow…good. That was the only way he could describe how his body was feeling, headache aside.
It took him a while to reboot his brain and try to remember what happened last night after Operation Wingmen started, but with very little success. It was then that he finally noticed that someone was staring at him from his left side.
“Good morning Professor.” A familiar monotone voice welcomed him as he turned his head to that side.
One his head was turned, he immediately recognized the pair of piercing blue eyes that were staring intently at him, the face that he knew too well with just some minor differences and her figure. The only difference form the usual was the small smile that crossed her lips, completely replacing her usually blank expression.
“S-Stern?” He stuttered once his brain was finally able to process all the information around him: clothes thrown around the room, the strange pleasant soreness of his body and most importantly the fact that he and his bedmate were naked. “Oh my god, what happened yesterday?” He asked in a panicked tone failing to remember what exactly happened the previous day.
“We had sex.” The material of Wisdom replied bluntly in a matter of fact tone, still maintaining the unusual small smile on her face, getting up, not looking distressed in the least by her state of undress.
“Ghe…” The librarian winced at the girl’s bluntness. “I…I’m sorry!” He finally managed to say bowing his head as he caught himself staring at her body.
“Why are you apologizing?” The clone of his long time crush asked cutely tilting her head to the side. “I was happy to have this opportunity to become one with Professor.”
“Uh?” Yuuno asked dumbly, not having expected such reaction.
“I enjoyed deeply last night.” She bluntly replied again, this time blushing a bit. “Are you displeased?”
“Ah…N-no.” He replied flailing his hands in front of him as flashes of last night started to flood his mind.
“Very well then.” Stern nodded starting to crawl on top of him, giving him a good show of her body.
“S-Stern, what are you doing?” He asked blushing and trying to turn his head to not look, but finding it impossible as the girl’s hands were keeping it in place.
“Round two.” The Starlight Destroyer replied as her smile grew even larger, sealing the librarian’s lips before he could have time to reply.
Before his mind went blank Yuuno’s last thought was that he had to thank the others next time he saw them.
Sitting on his dining table Chrono silently cheered at his operation success raising his mug of coffee.
“You look somehow satisfied this morning.” Amy noted grinning as she watched him grin back at her. “Did something good happen last night?”
“Oh, nothing much, I just managed to restored a bit of my karma and earn a couple of favor from a couple of people.” He vaguely replied as he watched the congratulation messages from his fellow Wingmen.
Mission Report 02: Extreme measures.
The next morning Yuuno got up in an unfamiliar room with the worst headache he had ever had in years, failing to remember what had happened last night. He didn’t know why but he felt the urge to blame Chrono for something that at the moment was escaping him.
“?” Just as he turned his head to the side he found himself face to face with the man he was feeling the urge to strangle. “Oh my god, please don’t tell me that we did…”
“Hold your horses Ferret-boy.” Chrono stopped him clutching his head in pain. “I’m fairly sure that there is no damage on my end.”
“And there aren’t on mine too.” Yuuno nodded as he checked his body, especially a certain side. “Then, what the hell happened?”
“I have no idea, what do you, remember?”
“Last thing I remember is you three making me drink like a sponge and then going around making a fool of ourselves.” Yuuno started as he tried to remember all the details about the previous day. “And then in the end you declared that the situation requested for extreme measures.”
“Oh… it think that I’m starting to remember…”
“…Wait… me too…”
“Oh Shit!” They cursed in perfect sync as they turned their head to look downward at the third person on the bed.
Between them, still sleeping with a blissful expression on her face, was laying Amy, who decided to wake up right in that moment.
“Good morning.” She replied smiling radiantly at the two of them. “What’s wrong?” She then asked as she noticed that their eyes showed clear signs of a mental BSOD.
“What did exactly happen yesterday?” Chrono, the first to recover, asked.
“Uhm…I was a bit surprised yesterday when you two barged in completely wasted and you asked me to do a threesome shouting that if balls don’t touch it’s not gay.” His wife immediately replied, making him pale and swear that he would not touch any more booze for a while. “But it was amazing, I didn’t think that you two together could be this good. We should do this some other times.” She added, flashing them with a radiant smile.
“Uh?” The two men asked in unison staring at each other.
“Now I understand what I meant for Extreme Measures.” Chrono frowned.
Oh well, at least his wife seemed happy, he noted, and he maintained his promise maybe he could just shrug this off and forget about it.
Or he could make the Ferret his personal salve for this, yeah, that worked too.
2013-04-18, 08:10
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