Sexuality

[synaesthetic]

Cleanliness is not so feminine as one might think. I know a lot of people and most of the girls are total slobs while the guys tend to be neat freaks much more often!

Regarding what Kaijo is asking: if the man in question exhibited feminine qualities, I would probably consider things first. I wouldn't immediately reject them out of hand just because they have a penis. While I say things like, "I don't like the cock," the presence of a penis isn't going to send me into panicked flight. I've dated boys before and slept with them before, and I wasn't disgusted by it.

Anyway, nobody is perfectly straight or gay.

Spoiler for WARNING: NSFW content ahead:

Everyone is some degree of bisexual, and I will admit that I have had thoughts and dreams and fantasies of sexual intimacy with a penis involved.

I would be lying, though, if I said that in every one of those fantasies or dreams, the penis was attached to a man, though...

But I digress. As I mentioned, I've slept with boys before and I can't say that I disliked it. I actually have enjoyed performing oral sex on boys, and other sexual acts as well.

It's not so much that I dislike boys, it's that I like girls much more, and while I don't mind a romp in the sheets with a cute, effeminate boy, I don't want to commit to a relationship with a male, gender stereotypes or not.

Simply put, I can be sexually intimate with boys as long as they're pretty or effeminate in appearance and personality (and don't have any body hair--I have an OCD-alike revulsion of body hair, my own and others).

But when it comes to boys, I'm aromantic. There's nothing there but sexual lust. The spark of romance only exists for me with girls. I'm not saying it can't happen; maybe I just haven't met the right one yet. It just hasn't happened to date.

I label myself a lesbian, even though bisexual is closer to the truth, because I don't actively seek male partners; it's difficult enough for me to find a willing and interested female partner I consider a good match. Finding a male partner that fits those criteria is more difficult, though I notice that boys tend to be more willing.

[Kaijo]

Thanks for answering my question, Syn, I appreciate it! I admit I find it interesting from a scientific psychological standpoint, to see people's individual preferences and such.

I might disagree a bit about everyone being bisexual, as I don't see any men as romantic or sexual partners. I can't conceive of any male somehow becoming attractive to me, save for a personality transplant, brainwashing, or serious head trauma, heh. I don't know whether that's nature or nurture, but I don't find that changing anytime soon.

Though I can shave all body hair and act feminine if you like!

[psycho_luny]

where i grew up it wasn't tolerated to even look at the same gender, so i never did. i still don't, to me looking for the same gender is a complete not talking bout other people just bout me. but still somehow i felt as i was still young something for my best friend, i acted to harsh and ended the friendship.
as the point to my story is: never let other people say what your allowed and what not, if you do you might end up like me. ending a friendship, for something so small.

[synaesthetic]

What I meant by that comment is simply this; there was a study done some time ago where scientists showed a bunch of volunteers, both men and women, various different pornography clips and measured the results of their physical sexual responses. It was fairly surprising when I read that a lot of men who identify as straight attained erections during the gay porn parts.

I'm not saying that everyone's secretly gay, but I am saying that I'd bet money some straight men can and do get turned on by seeing other men in sexual situations.

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

What I meant by that comment is simply this; there was a study done some time ago where scientists showed a bunch of volunteers, both men and women, various different pornography clips and measured the results of their physical sexual responses. It was fairly surprising when I read that a lot of men who identify as straight attained erections during the gay porn parts.

I'm not saying that everyone's secretly gay, but I am saying that I'd bet money some straight men can and do get turned on by seeing other men in sexual situations.

Ah, that's an interesting point. But I think it's a bit more complex than that, because for a guy, getting an erection can have little to do with sex sometimes.

Even if they account for that, getting a purely straight man to watch gay porn is a tricky thing; as a straight man myself, I wouldn't want to watch it, nor put myself in a situation where I could, so I'm betting they didn't really get totally straight men, but men who were a bit curious alreadyl. To me, watching it would be a bit disgusting, just like some people find getting their guts ripped open disgusting, or a guy do a sheep quite disgusting. So if you got a bit turned on watching two animals, would it mean you were a bit into bestiality?

Lastly, almost any sexual situation can cause some degree of arousal to a guy; all your body knows is that a sexual situation is imminent, and it begins preparing. I can get aroused even when I don't want to; and it can be annoying, heh.

[synaesthetic]

Pretty sure that like most of these types of studies, the participants were not wholly clued in as to what would happen until it actually took place.

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by synaesthetic

Pretty sure that like most of these types of studies, the participants were not wholly clued in as to what would happen until it actually took place.

Probably, but I'd have to see the study and the way the research was conducted to be able to get a reading on how accurate the results would be. I've seen a lot of bad science, heh. Not doubting you, but sometimes there are more factors than we realize that aren't accounted for.

[Lio]

Actually, all straight people are bi-sexual. They just don't know it themselves.

It comes from the evolutionary theory that homosexual/bi-sexual behavior helps build bonds and reduces aggression within groups. That's why in the militaries all throughout history (ex. samurai, knights, today's "don't ask don't tell") bisexual behavior between straight men are so common. In some tribal societies that frequently engage in warfare ALL men are behaviorally bisexual. There's plenty of evidence in non-human primates that the more bisexual the population is, the less violent they are towards each other. Female Bonobos (chimpanzee-like) engage in sociosexual bonding and form female coalitions to defend themselves from male dominance (unlike chimpanzees, where ALL females submit to males). Nearly all bonobos are actually bisexual, with 1/2 of their sexual interactions being homosexual, and they are very peaceful compared to chimpanzees, who are mostly purely straight and are very violent.

That's just the sexual behavior though. It doesn't affect pair-bonding (male-female romance), the desire for that special one.

So that's how it is. "Straight" people only desire a romantic partner of the opposite sex, but under the right circumstances they'll definitely show some bisexual behavior. It's just that religious fanatics made sexuality such a big deal, and that guys are so homophobic and denies any kind of bisexual tendencies when they come up. Those pussies.

So we're left with youthful girls who are excited about experimenting with other equally youthful girls, something that feels completely new but feels so right, so they just go with it and see where it takes them.

[Kafriel]

It comes from the evolutionary theory that homosexual/bi-sexual behavior helps build bonds and reduces aggression within groups.

I'm pretty sure it was the other way around...like, in animal communities, the ones with homosexual tendencies were the most violent of the pack or something. Can't remember which thread it was on though, don't have time to skim them either

[Tsuyoshi]

Originally Posted by Kafriel

I'm pretty sure it was the other way around...like, in animal communities, the ones with homosexual tendencies were the most violent of the pack or something. Can't remember which thread it was on though, don't have time to skim them either

I don't know about reducing aggression, but using historical examples of human societies, it certainly does help to build bonds. Ancient Spartan warriors, for example, developed homosexual tendencies throughout their training because a student was paired with a male teacher not just for the sake of learning the art of war, if you know what I mean. And we all know that Sparta boasted one of the most efficient and powerful armies of its days.

[Kafriel]

Having done my basic studies on ancient Greek history (untranslated texts), I've only found ambiguous hints at homosexuality only in poems...but, if we're using historical examples, look at Hitler, despite being (afaik) gay, he had so much rage and he spread it throughout the entire world.

[Tsuyoshi]

Originally Posted by Kafriel

Having done my basic studies on ancient Greek history (untranslated texts), I've only found ambiguous hints at homosexuality only in poems...but, if we're using historical examples, look at Hitler, despite being (afaik) gay, he had so much rage and he spread it throughout the entire world.

The fact that he was a fake homosexual makes it a moot point

[Kafriel]

That was my point....it goes both ways!

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by Lio

So that's how it is. "Straight" people only desire a romantic partner of the opposite sex, but under the right circumstances they'll definitely show some bisexual behavior. It's just that religious fanatics made sexuality such a big deal, and that guys are so homophobic and denies any kind of bisexual tendencies when they come up. Those pussies.

While I respect your opinion, I think you should reconsider your words. As I said in previous posts, I am not bisexual. I have no inclination towards guys. Sex with guys is not for me, and disgusts me the way you watching a guy fuck a sheep would probably disgust you. If you're gonna repeat this line about everyone being bisexual, I would repeat that everyone is at least a bit into bestiality, too.

That means, in the right circumstances, you would fuck a sheep, and if you deny it, you're a religious fanatic or so homophobic or something.

I am *not* homophobic, though(and I don't believe you are one, either). I've known people who were gay, and been perfectly fine with being their friends. I am a damn firm believer in letting people live their lives the way they want; I encourage it at every opportunity. I don't mind if a guy talks about his boyfriend.

The world is "tolerance." It's really okay to not like something. Everyone is different and has their own likes and dislikes, but it's rarely a good idea to foist your viewpoint on others: "If they don't think like me, then they are bad somehow." That's kinda what you're doing with that post.

I don't like eating liver. I do like eating pizza. I tolerate people who eat liver, but I won't ever eat it, if I can help it.

And you can't take some aspects of some culture and apply it unilaterally to all cultures.

To repeat the point: Being gay is okay. Being bisexual is okay. Being perfectly straight is okay. Everyone is different, and it's up to each person to decide what they feel and how they will live their life.

[Tsuyoshi]

To add to what Kaijo said, I will also speak out of personal experience. If everyone had at least some degree of bisexuality, I'd have had a boyfriend by now. Various times in my life, I've been hit on by other guys and had various friends who were openly bisexual and argued the very thing Lio is saying. In other words, some of my old friends tried to get me out of the closet However, not once, even given such circumstances where I was encouraged toward bisexuality or hit on by other guys (I'm assuming these are the sort of circumstances Lio is referring to), did I feel any attraction toward guys.

But on the other hand, as some of you may be aware from previous posts I made, I am in no way homophobic or deny any sort of hidden nature that I have. I know who I am and while I don't have any bisexual or homosexual tendencies, I accept and respect other people's sexuality and encourage the fact that love can occur between anyone. The reason for this is simple: love simply doesn't have one universal definition. Love has as many definitions as there are people in this world. Everyone will love another in their own way. Age and gender have no say in matters of love. While I cannot see myself taking part in homosexual acts, I cannot and will not deny anyone else such feelings. I have no right to deny that to anyone.

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Lio

So we're left with youthful girls who are excited about experimenting with other equally youthful girls, something that feels completely new but feels so right, so they just go with it and see where it takes them.

I can't really comment much on the "everyone is bisexual in some way" argument. I guess for me I'm a "late bloomer" in that aspect; my sexuality was always in the back of my mind, but I never really had a reason or an urge to question it and think about it. And even then, I really still don't know how my sexuality plays into everything at this point, since when I fell for my girlfriend I saw her as a good friend who I was starting to develop feelings for, not another girl who I happened to have a crush on.

[Kafriel]

I don't like eating liver. I do like eating pizza. I tolerate people who eat liver, but I won't ever eat it, if I can help it.

in the right circumstances, you would fuck a sheep

You can die of hunger, so if all you had was liver after 5 days of starvation, I think chances are good you'd at least try it. However, you can't possibly die of abstinence, whatever looks bad to you now will always look bad...at least that's my pov.

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by Kafriel

You can die of hunger, so if all you had was liver after 5 days of starvation, I think chances are good you'd at least try it. However, you can't possibly die of abstinence, whatever looks bad to you now will always look bad...at least that's my pov.

Yeah, I might try liver to stay alive, but you don't need sex or sexual relations to live. At least, at this point in my life, I can live without sex, heh. Maybe some can't, and thus would eventually feel compelled to screw *something*. Perhaps that's why Samurai or soldiers screw each other, or why someone would do a sheep. I suppose a Samurai would do a sheep if there were no other guys around, haha. So maybe those who do think they'd be bisexual if they were left alone with guys really would go for a sheep if they got hard up, who knows? :P

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

I can't really comment much on the "everyone is bisexual in some way" argument. I guess for me I'm a "late bloomer" in that aspect; my sexuality was always in the back of my mind, but I never really had a reason or an urge to question it and think about it. And even then, I really still don't know how my sexuality plays into everything at this point, since when I fell for my girlfriend I saw her as a good friend who I was starting to develop feelings for, not another girl who I happened to have a crush on.

That's actually exactly how it happened for my gf and I too...

[Kafriel]

Maybe some can't, and thus would eventually feel compelled to screw *something*. Perhaps that's why Samurai or soldiers screw each other, or why someone would do a sheep. I suppose a Samurai would do a sheep if there were no other guys around, haha. So maybe those who do think they'd be bisexual if they were left alone with guys really would go for a sheep if they got hard up, who knows?

I don't know about others, but there are certain things that every normal person would consider wrong, and I am saying this while accepting homo/hetero/bisexuals as normal...and I mean so wrong that you would never possibly think about doing it and still not realize that there's something wrong with you (pedo/necro/beast/whatever). No matter what the circumstances, I believe that everyone's got things that would and wouldn't do.
EDIT: As a side note there's also asexuals (ask Nogitsune if you don't believe me), so I doubt anyone could find in them a hint of attraction to either gender.