"Transfer complete," Shari stated happily as she twirled from her chair to run look at the two new unison devices.
Nanoha and Fate bent over the table, blinking as smoke rose from around the glass cases being opened. "Are they awake?" The brunette asked hopefully.
One of the devices opened it's eyes, showing her clear red orbs. "Yes, my master!" She stood completely and dusted off her white sundress. Blue trim ran over the edges of it and colored the straps keeping it up.
"Yes sir," The male answered as he sat up, yellow eyes blazing.
"Bardiche!" Fate cheered happily, holding out her hands for her device to hop on. "Wow, you look so cool!" She observed his clothing, the appeared to match her barrier jacket but only a males. Black jeans covered his legs and a white cape fell over his back. Long blond hair swung back, held in place by a black ribbon.
The two devices looked over at each other and blushed darkly. "Raising-san," Bardiche greeted her.
"... Bar-chan." The two ran towards each other, arms spread wide with smiles on their faces.
"When a maaaaaaaaaaaaaan loves a woooomaaaaaaaaan!"
"SHARI!" Fate and Nanoha both scolded the woman who suddenly broke out in song. Red and blue eyes looked back at the two devices, who were still hugging.
"Um..." Fate felt her cheeks color when they started to kiss. "I guess they really are a reflection of their users?"
Nanoha blushed darkly when raising Heart shoved Bardiche down and straddled his waist. "H-hey! stop it!"
~**~
"Sir!"
"Master!"
"Sir!"
"MASTER!"
Fate pulled the pillow over her head, groaning as the devices went at it again. "Keep your horny device under control, Nanoha."
"It's not MY fault!" Nanoha protested grumpily, trying to hide under the covers to keep out the screaming coming from the mini-bed on their nightstand across the room.
"Master... Master.... MASTER!!"
Fate sighed. "Why don't you call me 'master', Nanoha?"
Nanoha smirked. "You don't do anything to deserve it."
"Oh?" the blond rolled over and straddled her lover.
"Transfer complete," Shari stated happily as she twirled from her chair to run look at the two new unison devices.
Nanoha and Fate bent over the table, blinking as smoke rose from around the glass cases being opened. "Are they awake?" The brunette asked hopefully.
One of the devices opened it's eyes, showing her clear red orbs. "Yes, my master!" She stood completely and dusted off her white sundress. Blue trim ran over the edges of it and colored the straps keeping it up.
"Yes sir," The male answered as he sat up, yellow eyes blazing.
"Bardiche!" Fate cheered happily, holding out her hands for her device to hop on. "Wow, you look so cool!" She observed his clothing, the appeared to match her barrier jacket but only a males. Black jeans covered his legs and a white cape fell over his back. Long blond hair swung back, held in place by a black ribbon.
The two devices looked over at each other and blushed darkly. "Raising-san," Bardiche greeted her.
"... Bar-chan." The two ran towards each other, arms spread wide with smiles on their faces.
"When a maaaaaaaaaaaaaan loves a woooomaaaaaaaaan!"
"SHARI!" Fate and Nanoha both scolded the woman who suddenly broke out in song. Red and blue eyes looked back at the two devices, who were still hugging.
"Um..." Fate felt her cheeks color when they started to kiss. "I guess they really are a reflection of their users?"
Nanoha blushed darkly when raising Heart shoved Bardiche down and straddled his waist. "H-hey! stop it!"
~**~
"Sir!"
"Master!"
"Sir!"
"MASTER!"
Fate pulled the pillow over her head, groaning as the devices went at it again. "Keep your horny device under control, Nanoha."
"It's not MY fault!" Nanoha protested grumpily, trying to hide under the covers to keep out the screaming coming from the mini-bed on their nightstand across the room.
"Master... Master.... MASTER!!"
Fate sighed. "Why don't you call me 'master', Nanoha?"
Nanoha smirked. "You don't do anything to deserve it."
"Oh?" the blond rolled over and straddled her lover.
I gasped, mouth open and panting for air. My body shook, muscles ached, but I could still feel it deep inside. I cleared the road in a single leap, landing and shattering the sidewalk underneath me from the force. I straightened up and walked forward, still panting. Feathers were still falling, my mouth open in ragid gasps. My hands shook , fingernails growing...
I grabbed her and slowly pulled her face to mine. A long slow snarl came from my throat as she tried to regain her senses. She had hit her head when she landed, and I could smell the blood leaking in her hair.
"They never said..." Tia coughed out. "you were an ancient..."
"Who are 'they?'" I demanded, voice scratchy and deep.
"The people who hired me..." She was slowly coming to again fully. "They paid me to kill you, but they with held important information..."
I laughed at her stupidity. "Idiot. They wanted you dead, not me." I gripped her neck tighter. "You said you were a paladin. You lie."
"I didn't lie." She gripped my wrist and I could tell the fire was coming back into her eyes thanks to the small rest she was getting. "They trained me since I was created."
"You said created." I stated simply, my voice slowly turning more feminine as the devil was repressed.
Tia looked at me and I dropped her. She wouldn't attack me anymore, I could tell. "They injected my mother when she was pregnant. I was born a vampire but they kept me sated with pills. When I was old enough I was sent to kill others. I drank their blood to become more powerful and soon they gave me freedom to hunt and kill on my own."
"Why?"
"Hell if I know." Tia growled, now annoyed at my questions. "What's it to you?"
"Paladins hunting humans. Training Vampires to fight... Times are changing, and I don't like where it's going."
Tia twisted her neck with her hands, making it pop loudly. "I'm leaving."
"Not going to kill me?" My attitude was coming back as well.
"I can't kill you like that." Tia made her guns go back into cards. "A clean up crew will be here shortly."
My eyes glanced at the people standing around, staring in shock. When I looked again, Tia was gone and so was her bike.
I frowned.
~**~
So many questions. Who was Tia? Why was she a vampire but allied with Paladins? And if my gut feeling was right, why did they send her to die in a fight against me?
Nanoha's bakery came into view and I parked my bike in front of it. My body was sore and I was a little dizzy. Repressing...her... had drained me almost completely. I wanted nothing more than a cinnoman roll and a pint of warm blood to make me feel better.
The though of Nanoha's body curled against me, gasping in my ear as I drank, made me cheer up significantly. "Nanoha," I sang out to her as I entered the shop. She looked up at me along with someone else.
Who smelt like her.
"You!" I ran forward and grabbed the girl by the neck, lifting her up into the air.
"FATE-CHAN!" Nanoha cried out, running around to start pulling on my hand. "don't hurt her!"
"She's with her!" I revealed to my girlfriend, growling. "She tried to kill me!"
"She saved my life!"
I looked at Nanoha in confusion as she struggled to lower my arm by pulling on it. "What?"
"PLEASE!" She cried out.
I sat the girl down and she immediately started coughing and rasping for air. She allowed me to tilt her neck and I looked at the marking on it. This girl was a blood bank for Tia.
"Subaru-chan, are you okay?" Nanoha knelt by her and placed her arms on the girl's shoulders. "I'm sorry, she doesn't know yet."
"Know?" I asked, looking down a them. "Know what?"
I gasped, mouth open and panting for air. My body shook, muscles ached, but I could still feel it deep inside. I cleared the road in a single leap, landing and shattering the sidewalk underneath me from the force. I straightened up and walked forward, still panting. Feathers were still falling, my mouth open in ragid gasps. My hands shook , fingernails growing...
I grabbed her and slowly pulled her face to mine. A long slow snarl came from my throat as she tried to regain her senses. She had hit her head when she landed, and I could smell the blood leaking in her hair.
"They never said..." Tia coughed out. "you were an ancient..."
"Who are 'they?'" I demanded, voice scratchy and deep.
"The people who hired me..." She was slowly coming to again fully. "They paid me to kill you, but they with held important information..."
I laughed at her stupidity. "Idiot. They wanted you dead, not me." I gripped her neck tighter. "You said you were a paladin. You lie."
"I didn't lie." She gripped my wrist and I could tell the fire was coming back into her eyes thanks to the small rest she was getting. "They trained me since I was created."
"You said created." I stated simply, my voice slowly turning more feminine as the devil was repressed.
Tia looked at me and I dropped her. She wouldn't attack me anymore, I could tell. "They injected my mother when she was pregnant. I was born a vampire but they kept me sated with pills. When I was old enough I was sent to kill others. I drank their blood to become more powerful and soon they gave me freedom to hunt and kill on my own."
"Why?"
"Hell if I know." Tia growled, now annoyed at my questions. "What's it to you?"
"Paladins hunting humans. Training Vampires to fight... Times are changing, and I don't like where it's going."
Tia twisted her neck with her hands, making it pop loudly. "I'm leaving."
"Not going to kill me?" My attitude was coming back as well.
"I can't kill you like that." Tia made her guns go back into cards. "A clean up crew will be here shortly."
My eyes glanced at the people standing around, staring in shock. When I looked again, Tia was gone and so was her bike.
I frowned.
~**~
So many questions. Who was Tia? Why was she a vampire but allied with Paladins? And if my gut feeling was right, why did they send her to die in a fight against me?
Nanoha's bakery came into view and I parked my bike in front of it. My body was sore and I was a little dizzy. Repressing...her... had drained me almost completely. I wanted nothing more than a cinnoman roll and a pint of warm blood to make me feel better.
The though of Nanoha's body curled against me, gasping in my ear as I drank, made me cheer up significantly. "Nanoha," I sang out to her as I entered the shop. She looked up at me along with someone else.
Who smelt like her.
"You!" I ran forward and grabbed the girl by the neck, lifting her up into the air.
"FATE-CHAN!" Nanoha cried out, running around to start pulling on my hand. "don't hurt her!"
"She's with her!" I revealed to my girlfriend, growling. "She tried to kill me!"
"She saved my life!"
I looked at Nanoha in confusion as she struggled to lower my arm by pulling on it. "What?"
"PLEASE!" She cried out.
I sat the girl down and she immediately started coughing and rasping for air. She allowed me to tilt her neck and I looked at the marking on it. This girl was a blood bank for Tia.
"Subaru-chan, are you okay?" Nanoha knelt by her and placed her arms on the girl's shoulders. "I'm sorry, she doesn't know yet."
"Know?" I asked, looking down a them. "Know what?"
I gasped, mouth open and panting for air. My body shook, muscles ached, but I could still feel it deep inside. I cleared the road in a single leap, landing and shattering the sidewalk underneath me from the force. I straightened up and walked forward, still panting. Feathers were still falling, my mouth open in ragid gasps. My hands shook , fingernails growing...
I grabbed her and slowly pulled her face to mine. A long slow snarl came from my throat as she tried to regain her senses. She had hit her head when she landed, and I could smell the blood leaking in her hair.
"They never said..." Tia coughed out. "you were an ancient..."
"Who are 'they?'" I demanded, voice scratchy and deep.
"The people who hired me..." She was slowly coming to again fully. "They paid me to kill you, but they with held important information..."
I laughed at her stupidity. "Idiot. They wanted you dead, not me." I gripped her neck tighter. "You said you were a paladin. You lie."
"I didn't lie." She gripped my wrist and I could tell the fire was coming back into her eyes thanks to the small rest she was getting. "They trained me since I was created."
"You said created." I stated simply, my voice slowly turning more feminine as the devil was repressed.
Tia looked at me and I dropped her. She wouldn't attack me anymore, I could tell. "They injected my mother when she was pregnant. I was born a vampire but they kept me sated with pills. When I was old enough I was sent to kill others. I drank their blood to become more powerful and soon they gave me freedom to hunt and kill on my own."
"Why?"
"Hell if I know." Tia growled, now annoyed at my questions. "What's it to you?"
"Paladins hunting humans. Training Vampires to fight... Times are changing, and I don't like where it's going."
Tia twisted her neck with her hands, making it pop loudly. "I'm leaving."
"Not going to kill me?" My attitude was coming back as well.
"I can't kill you like that." Tia made her guns go back into cards. "A clean up crew will be here shortly."
My eyes glanced at the people standing around, staring in shock. When I looked again, Tia was gone and so was her bike.
I frowned.
~**~
So many questions. Who was Tia? Why was she a vampire but allied with Paladins? And if my gut feeling was right, why did they send her to die in a fight against me?
Nanoha's bakery came into view and I parked my bike in front of it. My body was sore and I was a little dizzy. Repressing...her... had drained me almost completely. I wanted nothing more than a cinnoman roll and a pint of warm blood to make me feel better.
The though of Nanoha's body curled against me, gasping in my ear as I drank, made me cheer up significantly. "Nanoha," I sang out to her as I entered the shop. She looked up at me along with someone else.
Who smelt like her.
"You!" I ran forward and grabbed the girl by the neck, lifting her up into the air.
"FATE-CHAN!" Nanoha cried out, running around to start pulling on my hand. "don't hurt her!"
"She's with her!" I revealed to my girlfriend, growling. "She tried to kill me!"
"She saved my life!"
I looked at Nanoha in confusion as she struggled to lower my arm by pulling on it. "What?"
"PLEASE!" She cried out.
I sat the girl down and she immediately started coughing and rasping for air. She allowed me to tilt her neck and I looked at the marking on it. This girl was a blood bank for Tia.
"Subaru-chan, are you okay?" Nanoha knelt by her and placed her arms on the girl's shoulders. "I'm sorry, she doesn't know yet."
"Know?" I asked, looking down a them. "Know what?"
A.) Nanoha
B.) Fate
lovely Satashi, amazing and Fate in action, you made my day ^_^
........ more device loving i see.. hehe.. last part was funny ^^'' no sleep for the bunny couple for a long while.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi
Spoiler for Vampire!Fate pt. 4a (Fate):
-snip-
A.) Nanoha
B.) Fate
ooh... so it was Fate herself? and Subaru and Nanoha know something and Fate doesn't know what it is.. rarr next part. and A
though.. Fate and feathers... has there ever been an Angel!Fate AU fic? And no not Mercurianangel angel. An
-angel- angel. Sounds.. heavenly.
-daydreams- *w*
Tele!!! Ah if you're not busy and if you're bored and want to draw something, draw Fate as an angel with white wingssssss please!!! X3 *shot* @_@
though.. Fate and feathers... has there ever been an Angel!Fate AU fic? And no not Mercurianangel angel. An
-angel- angel. Sounds.. heavenly.
-daydreams- *w*
Hmmm....
Spoiler for Angel from on high:
A soft sigh escaped my lips, hand propping my head up on my desk. It was yet another normal day with no real work to be done which meant it was boring. My eyes wandered to my left and out the window. The sun was shining brightly above with not a cloud in sight. It looked like such a wonderful day to be outside, flying in that sea of blue. I wished someone would come take me away from all of this...
"Away to where?"
Surprised by the voice, me head slipped off my hand and almost met the hard desk. My eyes darted around, looking for the sound of the voice. Turning to the window, I saw her. Dressed in a lose, white gown she stared back at me from outside the window. Slender arms rested at the sides of her slim figure. Long, blond hair flowed down from her head to her almost her ankles. Her burgundy eyes seemed to shimmer in the sun. But what caught my attention were the white, majestic wings extending from her back. They were stretched out behind her, feathers dancing in place when the wind blew by. The sunlight on them almost seemed to make them glow around her.
"Away to where?" she repeated.
It took me a moment to return to my senses. The whole thing seemed so...surreal. I really didn't know what to do, what to say. My voice was stuck in my throat as I continued to stare at figure of beauty before me. She remained in place with a smile, such a warm smile. In my chest my heart beat quickly, unsure of what I should do.
"T-the sky," I managed to get out. "I...I want to fly in the sky..."
Her smiled widen slightly as she nodded. "Then let us go," she stated, extending her right hand towards me.
I didn't know what to do. My hand seemed to act on its own, extended out to grasp the one she presented to me. The sudden lack of glass in the window didn't even register as I stood so reach out to her. Our hands touched and she interlaced her fingers with my own. Her hands were so soft and smooth, her grip firm yet gentle.
"Let us go."
She broke eye contact and stared up towards the sky. My own eyes remained on her, unable to pull away. Those majestic wings flapped once, then twice. Before I knew it, my feet were no longer on the ground. I gasped when I was pulled through the empty window and towards the sky above. We ascended higher, the far above the roofs of the houses below. She turned turn to look at me and smiled again. Pulling me up towards her, she embraced me from behind. Slender arms wrapped around my waist as her head nestled on my shoulder. I desperately tried to subdue the blood that was rushing to my cheeks.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
My eyes turned towards the distance and a gasp escaped my lips. In the distance I could see the shimmering sea disappearing into the horizon. The houses below were so small, almost like toys. A gust of cool wind blew by. It was all so...breathtaking. The feeling of being up here, flying in the blue sky was...indescribable. To feel so open, so free was amazing. My hand wandered to rest on the ones around my waist as my eyes took it all in.
"Nanoha."
I glanced towards her head on my shoulder.
"Nanoha."
"Our eyes locked, unable to break away.
"Nanoha. Nanoha, wake up."
"Uweh..?" I groggily opened my eyes and blinked.
"Hello there, sleepyhead."
Blinking again, I lifted my head up. "Huh?"
Fate covered her mouth in an attempt to suppress her giggles. "C'mon, Nanoha. It's time for lunch."
Lunch? Finally getting my eyes back into focus, I noticed that most of the students had already filed out of the classroom. "A dream?"
"Mhm. And you seemed to be enjoying it from your drooling."
My eyes went down to my arms, finding a small pool to have collected under them. "Mou...that's not funny, Fate-chan!"
She just giggled and turned for the door. "We had better get going before Arisa gets mad again."
I nodded and stretched my tried arms above my head. So it was all a dream, huh? Gathering my books, my eyes wandered off to Fate-chan by the door. She noticed me and smiled. No, it wasn't all a dream. I have my beautiful angel right here by my side.
A soft sigh escaped my lips, hand propping my head up on my desk. It was yet another normal day with no real work to be done which meant it was boring. My eyes wandered to my left and out the window. The sun was shining brightly above with not a cloud in sight. It looked like such a wonderful day to be outside, flying in that sea of blue. I wished someone would come take me away from all of this...
"Away to where?"
Surprised by the voice, me head slipped off my hand and almost met the hard desk. My eyes darted around, looking for the sound of the voice. Turning to the window, I saw her. Dressed in a lose, white gown she stared back at me from outside the window. Slender arms rested at the sides of her slim figure. Long, blond hair flowed down from her head to her almost her ankles. Her burgundy eyes seemed to shimmer in the sun. But what caught my attention were the white, majestic wings extending from her back. They were stretched out behind her, feathers dancing in place when the wind blew by. The sunlight on them almost seemed to make them glow around her.
"Away to where?" she repeated.
It took me a moment to return to my senses. The whole thing seemed so...surreal. I really didn't know what to do, what to say. My voice was stuck in my throat as I continued to stare at figure of beauty before me. She remained in place with a smile, such a warm smile. In my chest my heart beat quickly, unsure of what I should do.
"T-the sky," I managed to get out. "I...I want to fly in the sky..."
Her smiled widen slightly as she nodded. "Then let us go," she stated, extending her right hand towards me.
I didn't know what to do. My hand seemed to act on its own, extended out to grasp the one she presented to me. The sudden lack of glass in the window didn't even register as I stood so reach out to her. Our hands touched and she interlaced her fingers with my own. Her hands were so soft and smooth, her grip firm yet gentle.
"Let us go."
She broke eye contact and stared up towards the sky. My own eyes remained on her, unable to pull away. Those majestic wings flapped once, then twice. Before I knew it, my feet were no longer on the ground. I gasped when I was pulled through the empty window and towards the sky above. We ascended higher, the far above the roofs of the houses below. She turned turn to look at me and smiled again. Pulling me up towards her, she embraced me from behind. Slender arms wrapped around my waist as her head nestled on my shoulder. I desperately tried to subdue the blood that was rushing to my cheeks.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
My eyes turned towards the distance and a gasp escaped my lips. In the distance I could see the shimmering sea disappearing into the horizon. The houses below were so small, almost like toys. A gust of cool wind blew by. It was all so...breathtaking. The feeling of being up here, flying in the blue sky was...indescribable. To feel so open, so free was amazing. My hand wandered to rest on the ones around my waist as my eyes took it all in.
"Nanoha."
I glanced towards her head on my shoulder.
"Nanoha."
"Our eyes locked, unable to break away.
"Nanoha. Nanoha, wake up."
"Uweh..?" I groggily opened my eyes and blinked.
"Hello there, sleepyhead."
Blinking again, I lifted my head up. "Huh?"
Fate covered her mouth in an attempt to suppress her giggles. "C'mon, Nanoha. It's time for lunch."
Lunch? Finally getting my eyes back into focus, I noticed that most of the students had already filed out of the classroom. "A dream?"
"Mhm. And you seemed to be enjoying it from your drooling."
My eyes went down to my arms, finding a small pool to have collected under them. "Mou...that's not funny, Fate-chan!"
She just giggled and turned for the door. "We had better get going before Arisa gets mad again."
I nodded and stretched my tried arms above my head. So it was all a dream, huh? Gathering my books, my eyes wandered off to Fate-chan by the door. She noticed me and smiled. No, it wasn't all a dream. I have my beautiful angel right here by my side.
Just for you, Wanwan
wahhhhhhhh!!! X3 *glomps eva* Thank you eva!!!! *huggles* I liked it very much!!! what a very nice story to wake up to. (just woke up lol) you just made me very happy. ^^ thanks again.
Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha RebelS
Chapter 3
The Ill-Tempered Forward
Spoiler for Warning: Language:p:
snip~
Spoiler for Preview:
Preview:
Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha RebelS
Zen: Get it through your heads, I don’t have to like you to work with you.
John: I will not share a room with a beast!
Vivio: Eh? Our first job and we’re already working with the saint church!
Syn: If you don’t like it then you might as well leave now because I’m not putting up with your crap.
???: I don’t know whether to celebrate or be offended that the TSAB sent children after us.
Chapter 4
Test
Vivio: I won’t fail again!
Spoiler for Bonus:
Spoiler for A moment in the crack mind:
TSS: Urg… I hate fight scenes and due to that I hate this chapter
Zen: Only ‘cause you suck at writing them
TSS: And you. Stop being so unlikable
Zen: Eh?
TSS: You’re too mean and loud and obnoxious. And the hating Nanoha thing that’s gonna make you unpopular.
Zen: I have a good reason!
TSS: Meh but no one will know it for at least three chapters Maybe more considering this was supposed to be chapter 2
Zen: *whack whack* You’re the writer you make me likable then!
TSS: >.> but that would be out of character
Zen: *sounds of beating up a certain writer* You could try at least!
TSS: You can’t all get along this isn’t StrikerS rehashed we need internal struggle
Zen: Why Me! Why not Glasses boy!
TSS: He’s too nice—
John: H-hey
TSS: -he’s like milk toast, nothing on it but toast. Nothing interesting there at all
John: T-Toast
TSS: You two should have been girls >.>
Z+J: D: Hell no!
TSS: Then I could pair you two up *emo sigh* JoanxZena
Zen: What are you on!
John: T-T I’m going to be traumatized thanks to you
TSS: Time to go back to writing my unlovable characters
Zen: I am too lovable!
John: TTATT I’m not toast!
Spoiler for OC Profiles:
Full Akito, Sageo and Artemis Profiles to come soon (Zen: Why do minor characters like them get full out profiles before mines released? *moody*)
Spoiler for Zen Skala:
Profile: Zen Skala
Nickname: Boy (Akito)
Gender: Male
Age: 15
Birthday: June 13
Home World: Unknown
Rank: Private 1st Class
Unit: Riot Force 6 2.0
Mage Rank: C
Magic Type: Barrier Smash (A branch of Belkan
Circle Color: Black
Height: 172 cm
Hair: Spiky Black
Eye color:
Build: He has a decent muscular build though as his focus is speed he’s pretty light.
Device: His gloves, currently no name
Background:
Nothing is currently known about him before he came to live with Admiral Akito Skala save for this, something happened that has made him hate Nanoha Takamachi above all else.
With Akito however Zen was taught not only basic combat but Akito’s philosophy in life. Although Zen claims that the “stupid idiot had no effect” on him the truth is that Zen’s basic values, everyone on your team is important regardless if you like them, the strong have a duty to protect the weak came from him and his other teacher Sageo. Despite the fact he happens to constantly berates his father, he’ll never stand by and someone insult Akito. In fact insulting Akito or his ship is a sure fire way to piss Zen off.
Personality:
Zen is a rude, hot blooded, blunt, punch first ask questions later kind of guy. He doesn’t like most people and he doesn’t care if they like him at all. He’s very easy to read, he’s not the kind of guy to lie or twist the truth he tells it how it is, always. He also embarrasses easily, he’s easily teased and infuriated. He’s also prideful, he takes pride in his “family” and is loyal to whatever team he’s currently on, no matter what regardless of personal issues. He will never betray anyone because he can’t even comprehend that as a possibility.
Barrier Jacket:
Zen wears a pair of black jeans and a black and white shirt. He says it’s so he can wear it around without people knowing it’s on.
Fighting Style:
Barrier Break:
The melee style Zen uses focuses on taking out an opponent’s barrier in order for a physical attack to get through. Due to the fact that his linker core allows him to gain very little mana he has to focus on spells that improve his strength and speed and the occasional spell such as Shard Bombardment but all for the most part aiming to destroy the barrier.
The weakness of this style is that in order to be able to break his own barrier he has to create a weak one. As a result one good magical attack will take him out (The reason Vivio struggled against him was that she tried to fight melee with melee. Zen is a melee fighter so he’s superior to Vivio who is a jack of some trades (Melee, close range, mid range) but a master of none. Had Vivio used other forms she would have been able to take him out easily.
Spells:
Attack:
Shard Bombardment: Zen creates a barrier and smashes, Zen uses the shards as darts and shoots them rapidly at his opponents, rarely do they ever hit his opponent but they stick in their barrier and weaken the barrier so Zen can smash it. As a more attacking variation he uses the shards from his opponent’s barrier he smashes to attack an opponent directly.
Spoiler for Falling Soul:
Device Data… Loaded.
Falling Soul the Obnoxious Glaive
Master: Vivio H. Takamachi
AI: Male
Paint Color: Dark Orange
Civilian Form: Small orange cube that fits onto a bracelet on Vivio’s arm
Quote: “[As long as you’re an idiot Vi, I’ll be here to save you]”
Falling Soul was created by Shario Finieno and was the prototype for a line of highly advanced AI systems, a fact that he is very very proud of (and reminds Vivio of constantly). He was created in the year MC 83 and given to his current owner Vivio H. Takamachi as a 13th birthday present. He did not go through basic training with Vivio, as that happened the year before his creation, he’s always eager to point out it would have been much more enjoyable with him around.
Personality: He tries his best to keep Vivio down to Earth, he’s well aware of the raw talent his master has but also knows that all the talent in the world won’t help her if she doesn’t keep focused. Most people or devices would decide the best plan of action would be to encourage her and gently nudge her in the right direction. Yeah too bad Falling Soul isn’t like that. Falling Soul decided to take the direct approach and just be as snarky as possible and remind Vivio that she’s still a kid and he’s smarter. It doesn’t help that Shari spoils him whenever she’s working on his repairs. The only person he seems to respect is Syn and only because she knows exactly what to do to rile him up.
He’s also very prideful, as a device with an advanced AI he sometimes believes that makes him better then older models (who he calls old timers) occasionally one of these models will tell him off and he’ll become a quiet moody device. If anyone insults him he’ll get haughty and defensive or just order Vivio to blow them up.
Appearance:
Glaive form: His normal form. The pole is about as long Vivio’s body and orange. The crescent blade on the top is about as long as Vivio’s forearm and is a lovely shade of black. His cartage loader is on the pole but due to advances in technology it’s not nearly as hulking as the ones on older devices. In this form Vivio is much more focused on mid-ranged magic. While the crescent shape blade makes stabbing impossible it provides an area for Vivio to contain and charge her magic.
Sword and Shield form: The blade of glaive form turns into a black buckler shield (the small round ones) while the pole turns into an orange arming sword (about 3 feet long). This form allows Vivio to show off the melee skills she’s acquired (as well as some of the sword lessons she’s had). Vivio’s prone to throwing the shield part when she gets annoyed. Sometimes though it seems like she’s bringing a knife to a gunfight.
Special Features:
He’s more customized for Vivio then she knows. He’s also able to act as a limiter for her, after all a child shouldn’t be running around with the Saint Kaiser’s power buzzing about them. As a result when she uses Falling Soul her magic comes out orange instead of glowy rainbow. Vivio herself isn’t aware of this feature.
Spoiler for Gou:
First name: Unknown
Last name: Unknown
Codename: Gou
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Organization: MM
Home world: Unknown
Mage Rank: Unknown:
Magic Type: Mid-Childan
Magic Color: White
Height: 167
Hair: Black
Eye color: Red
Background: Unknown
Personality: Seemingly happy go lucky. She acts childish and doesn’t seem to care what the consequences of her actions are. She seems to call everyone by a nickname formed by just repeating their name twice.
Known Spells: None
Facts:
-She’s part of the younger quartet in the MM
-She’s on a first name basis with the guy everyone calls Boss.
-She’s a Siberian Husky Familiar but it is currently unknown who she’s reliant on.
Spoiler for Ji:
First name: Unknown
Last name: Unknown
Codename: Ji
Gender: Male
Age: 20
Organization: The MM
Home world: Unknown
Mage Rank: Unknown
Magic Type: Unknown
Magic Color: Red
Height: 180 cm
Hair: Red, spiky
Eye color: Green
Background: Unknown
Personality: Unknown
Known Spells:
Some kind of spell that turns his legs magnetic and some other type of power up spells.
Fact:
-Curses like a sailor
-Part of the younger quartet of the MM
-Has mechanical legs and magic seals carved in them.
Spoiler for Zhu:
First name: Unknown
Last name: Unknown
Codename: Zhu
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Organization: The MM
Home world: Unknown
Mage Rank: Unknown
Magic Type: Unknown
Magic Color: Magenta
Height: 168 cm
Hair: Pink bowl cut that covers eyes
Eye color: Blue
Background: Unknown
Personality: Like Eeyore. He’s mopy, pessimistic, depressed and he gets hungry very easily. He never does anything fast in his words “you always chew before you swallow.”
Facts:
-It’s said standing between him and his food is the only way to anger him, but that may not be true.
-His tongue is mechanical and has a magical seal on it, that’s why he can perform magic in his mouth.
-Part of the younger quartet of the MM
And those three all belong to
The Metal Menagerie
Spoiler for The History of MC 85- Mr. Hunter:
In the wake of the Jail Scaglietti incident and the death of the high council the TSAB was thrown into a state of unease. Public support was in a decline and people were starting to believe the TSAB couldn't be relied on. So there was a vote among all of the high ranking officials of the TSAB to elect a temporary head to act as the high council and help them keep appearances with the public. General Alistair Hunter was elected to position of Acting Head of the TSAB. As acting head he had all the power that the actual head would. He was meant to be that way for a short while but ten years later he's still in power.
Urg... Alright all done with this one
Arthur Sorell belongs to Nikki the Cat. Nikki you may notice I changed a few things around with him to suit the story better.
The chapter seemed a little rushed compared to the others but as always TSS, I love it. n_n
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allquall
Preston, you make me so happy.
Name of War
Chapter 2: Rachel Weeping For Her Children
This fic seems to be working up to something epic. I can't wait for the next chapter~
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satashi
Spoiler for For TeleIce:
"Transfer complete," Shari stated happily as she twirled from her chair to run look at the two new unison devices.
Nanoha and Fate bent over the table, blinking as smoke rose from around the glass cases being opened. "Are they awake?" The brunette asked hopefully.
One of the devices opened it's eyes, showing her clear red orbs. "Yes, my master!" She stood completely and dusted off her white sundress. Blue trim ran over the edges of it and colored the straps keeping it up.
"Yes sir," The male answered as he sat up, yellow eyes blazing.
"Bardiche!" Fate cheered happily, holding out her hands for her device to hop on. "Wow, you look so cool!" She observed his clothing, the appeared to match her barrier jacket but only a males. Black jeans covered his legs and a white cape fell over his back. Long blond hair swung back, held in place by a black ribbon.
The two devices looked over at each other and blushed darkly. "Raising-san," Bardiche greeted her.
"... Bar-chan." The two ran towards each other, arms spread wide with smiles on their faces.
"When a maaaaaaaaaaaaaan loves a woooomaaaaaaaaan!"
"SHARI!" Fate and Nanoha both scolded the woman who suddenly broke out in song. Red and blue eyes looked back at the two devices, who were still hugging.
"Um..." Fate felt her cheeks color when they started to kiss. "I guess they really are a reflection of their users?"
Nanoha blushed darkly when raising Heart shoved Bardiche down and straddled his waist. "H-hey! stop it!"
~**~
"Sir!"
"Master!"
"Sir!"
"MASTER!"
Fate pulled the pillow over her head, groaning as the devices went at it again. "Keep your horny device under control, Nanoha."
"It's not MY fault!" Nanoha protested grumpily, trying to hide under the covers to keep out the screaming coming from the mini-bed on their nightstand across the room.
"Master... Master.... MASTER!!"
Fate sighed. "Why don't you call me 'master', Nanoha?"
Nanoha smirked. "You don't do anything to deserve it."
"Oh?" the blond rolled over and straddled her lover.
"Transfer complete," Shari stated happily as she twirled from her chair to run look at the two new unison devices.
Nanoha and Fate bent over the table, blinking as smoke rose from around the glass cases being opened. "Are they awake?" The brunette asked hopefully.
One of the devices opened it's eyes, showing her clear red orbs. "Yes, my master!" She stood completely and dusted off her white sundress. Blue trim ran over the edges of it and colored the straps keeping it up.
"Yes sir," The male answered as he sat up, yellow eyes blazing.
"Bardiche!" Fate cheered happily, holding out her hands for her device to hop on. "Wow, you look so cool!" She observed his clothing, the appeared to match her barrier jacket but only a males. Black jeans covered his legs and a white cape fell over his back. Long blond hair swung back, held in place by a black ribbon.
The two devices looked over at each other and blushed darkly. "Raising-san," Bardiche greeted her.
"... Bar-chan." The two ran towards each other, arms spread wide with smiles on their faces.
"When a maaaaaaaaaaaaaan loves a woooomaaaaaaaaan!"
"SHARI!" Fate and Nanoha both scolded the woman who suddenly broke out in song. Red and blue eyes looked back at the two devices, who were still hugging.
"Um..." Fate felt her cheeks color when they started to kiss. "I guess they really are a reflection of their users?"
Nanoha blushed darkly when raising Heart shoved Bardiche down and straddled his waist. "H-hey! stop it!"
~**~
"Sir!"
"Master!"
"Sir!"
"MASTER!"
Fate pulled the pillow over her head, groaning as the devices went at it again. "Keep your horny device under control, Nanoha."
"It's not MY fault!" Nanoha protested grumpily, trying to hide under the covers to keep out the screaming coming from the mini-bed on their nightstand across the room.
"Master... Master.... MASTER!!"
Fate sighed. "Why don't you call me 'master', Nanoha?"
Nanoha smirked. "You don't do anything to deserve it."
"Oh?" the blond rolled over and straddled her lover.
I gasped, mouth open and panting for air. My body shook, muscles ached, but I could still feel it deep inside. I cleared the road in a single leap, landing and shattering the sidewalk underneath me from the force. I straightened up and walked forward, still panting. Feathers were still falling, my mouth open in ragid gasps. My hands shook , fingernails growing...
I grabbed her and slowly pulled her face to mine. A long slow snarl came from my throat as she tried to regain her senses. She had hit her head when she landed, and I could smell the blood leaking in her hair.
"They never said..." Tia coughed out. "you were an ancient..."
"Who are 'they?'" I demanded, voice scratchy and deep.
"The people who hired me..." She was slowly coming to again fully. "They paid me to kill you, but they with held important information..."
I laughed at her stupidity. "Idiot. They wanted you dead, not me." I gripped her neck tighter. "You said you were a paladin. You lie."
"I didn't lie." She gripped my wrist and I could tell the fire was coming back into her eyes thanks to the small rest she was getting. "They trained me since I was created."
"You said created." I stated simply, my voice slowly turning more feminine as the devil was repressed.
Tia looked at me and I dropped her. She wouldn't attack me anymore, I could tell. "They injected my mother when she was pregnant. I was born a vampire but they kept me sated with pills. When I was old enough I was sent to kill others. I drank their blood to become more powerful and soon they gave me freedom to hunt and kill on my own."
"Why?"
"Hell if I know." Tia growled, now annoyed at my questions. "What's it to you?"
"Paladins hunting humans. Training Vampires to fight... Times are changing, and I don't like where it's going."
Tia twisted her neck with her hands, making it pop loudly. "I'm leaving."
"Not going to kill me?" My attitude was coming back as well.
"I can't kill you like that." Tia made her guns go back into cards. "A clean up crew will be here shortly."
My eyes glanced at the people standing around, staring in shock. When I looked again, Tia was gone and so was her bike.
I frowned.
~**~
So many questions. Who was Tia? Why was she a vampire but allied with Paladins? And if my gut feeling was right, why did they send her to die in a fight against me?
Nanoha's bakery came into view and I parked my bike in front of it. My body was sore and I was a little dizzy. Repressing...her... had drained me almost completely. I wanted nothing more than a cinnoman roll and a pint of warm blood to make me feel better.
The though of Nanoha's body curled against me, gasping in my ear as I drank, made me cheer up significantly. "Nanoha," I sang out to her as I entered the shop. She looked up at me along with someone else.
Who smelt like her.
"You!" I ran forward and grabbed the girl by the neck, lifting her up into the air.
"FATE-CHAN!" Nanoha cried out, running around to start pulling on my hand. "don't hurt her!"
"She's with her!" I revealed to my girlfriend, growling. "She tried to kill me!"
"She saved my life!"
I looked at Nanoha in confusion as she struggled to lower my arm by pulling on it. "What?"
"PLEASE!" She cried out.
I sat the girl down and she immediately started coughing and rasping for air. She allowed me to tilt her neck and I looked at the marking on it. This girl was a blood bank for Tia.
"Subaru-chan, are you okay?" Nanoha knelt by her and placed her arms on the girl's shoulders. "I'm sorry, she doesn't know yet."
"Know?" I asked, looking down a them. "Know what?"
A.) Nanoha
B.) Fate
Yay Teana AND Subaru!
B
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki
Hmmm....
Spoiler for Angel from on high:
A soft sigh escaped my lips, hand propping my head up on my desk. It was yet another normal day with no real work to be done which meant it was boring. My eyes wandered to my left and out the window. The sun was shining brightly above with not a cloud in sight. It looked like such a wonderful day to be outside, flying in that sea of blue. I wished someone would come take me away from all of this...
"Away to where?"
Surprised by the voice, me head slipped off my hand and almost met the hard desk. My eyes darted around, looking for the sound of the voice. Turning to the window, I saw her. Dressed in a lose, white gown she stared back at me from outside the window. Slender arms rested at the sides of her slim figure. Long, blond hair flowed down from her head to her almost her ankles. Her burgundy eyes seemed to shimmer in the sun. But what caught my attention were the white, majestic wings extending from her back. They were stretched out behind her, feathers dancing in place when the wind blew by. The sunlight on them almost seemed to make them glow around her.
"Away to where?" she repeated.
It took me a moment to return to my senses. The whole thing seemed so...surreal. I really didn't know what to do, what to say. My voice was stuck in my throat as I continued to stare at figure of beauty before me. She remained in place with a smile, such a warm smile. In my chest my heart beat quickly, unsure of what I should do.
"T-the sky," I managed to get out. "I...I want to fly in the sky..."
Her smiled widen slightly as she nodded. "Then let us go," she stated, extending her right hand towards me.
I didn't know what to do. My hand seemed to act on its own, extended out to grasp the one she presented to me. The sudden lack of glass in the window didn't even register as I stood so reach out to her. Our hands touched and she interlaced her fingers with my own. Her hands were so soft and smooth, her grip firm yet gentle.
"Let us go."
She broke eye contact and stared up towards the sky. My own eyes remained on her, unable to pull away. Those majestic wings flapped once, then twice. Before I knew it, my feet were no longer on the ground. I gasped when I was pulled through the empty window and towards the sky above. We ascended higher, the far above the roofs of the houses below. She turned turn to look at me and smiled again. Pulling me up towards her, she embraced me from behind. Slender arms wrapped around my waist as her head nestled on my shoulder. I desperately tried to subdue the blood that was rushing to my cheeks.
"Beautiful, isn't it?"
My eyes turned towards the distance and a gasp escaped my lips. In the distance I could see the shimmering sea disappearing into the horizon. The houses below were so small, almost like toys. A gust of cool wind blew by. It was all so...breathtaking. The feeling of being up here, flying in the blue sky was...indescribable. To feel so open, so free was amazing. My hand wandered to rest on the ones around my waist as my eyes took it all in.
"Nanoha."
I glanced towards her head on my shoulder.
"Nanoha."
"Our eyes locked, unable to break away.
"Nanoha. Nanoha, wake up."
"Uweh..?" I groggily opened my eyes and blinked.
"Hello there, sleepyhead."
Blinking again, I lifted my head up. "Huh?"
Fate covered her mouth in an attempt to suppress her giggles. "C'mon, Nanoha. It's time for lunch."
Lunch? Finally getting my eyes back into focus, I noticed that most of the students had already filed out of the classroom. "A dream?"
"Mhm. And you seemed to be enjoying it from your drooling."
My eyes went down to my arms, finding a small pool to have collected under them. "Mou...that's not funny, Fate-chan!"
She just giggled and turned for the door. "We had better get going before Arisa gets mad again."
I nodded and stretched my tried arms above my head. So it was all a dream, huh? Gathering my books, my eyes wandered off to Fate-chan by the door. She noticed me and smiled. No, it wasn't all a dream. I have my beautiful angel right here by my side.
@.@ well here's the crack that's been boiling in the IRC (both the FFC and the OCC. The ideas came from everyone who was there really. Tempest, I think, came up with the original idea, which proceeded to get bounced around, with apologies to everyone featured I promise I mean everything in the most loving way possible.
Monty Khrack and The Holy Flail
Spoiler for Here it is:
Clip clop clop clop clip.
Clop clop clip.
Clippity clippity cloppity clop-
“STOP THAT!”
“I just wanted to have a bit of fun sire,” The loyal servant of Yuuno, King of Mid-Childa, Chrono pouted and lipped his coconut halves in his hands.
The king raised a hand, “We’re looking for brave knights, that’s why we’ve come to this castle.”
“
They coconuted their way up to the wall of a castle. “Hello! We’re looking for brave knights!”
“Who you supposed to be?” the guard, a glasses wearing green haired man.
“Well I’m Yuuno king of the Mid-Childians!”
“How do I know that?”
Yuuno blinked, no one had actually contested his kingship before. “Well the lady of the lake gave me this particularly shiny sword.” He drew said sword.
“Well that doesn’t prove anything. And where’d you get the coconut’s anyway?”
“Well we found them.”
“Found them? There aren’t any oceans here!”
“Well birds move around.”
“That doesn’t mean coconuts migrate!”
“Well maybe… it was carried! By… by a swallow.”
“What the hell are you on?”
“Well if he gripped it by the husk…”
“It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut.”
“Well I say it could and I’m the main character.”
“Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow nids to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?”
“Oh oh but what if he was really really big!” A brown haired man popped up next to him. “And the coconut was very very small!”
“You’re just being stupid.” Neither noticed that the king had left.
“Bring out your dead!” Tempest walked throughout the city with his cart of corpses. “Any dead around here?”
“I got one,” a woman dragged out what looked to be a lazy, khrack addled man by the ear.
“But I’m not dead Anita,” the man appeared to be crying.
“Well I can’t take him if he isn’t dead,” Tempest pointed out.
“Oh he’ll be dead soon.”
“I’m getting better,” Kha croaked.
“Dead within a few minutes.”
“I don’t want to go in the cart.”
“Don’t be such a baby!”
“I have to keep going on,” Tempest pointed out.
“Can’t you do anything?” Anita pleaded.
“I feel fine. I might even write somethi-” CLONK!
Tempest put his shovel back in his cart and tossed Kha in his cart. “Who’s that then?”
“How should I know? I’m just a peasant.”
“Must be a king, he has coconuts after all.”
King Yuuno continued his journey, carefully avoiding any areas that might make his servant want to blow them up. Unfortunately he couldn’t seem to find anyone that would want to be his knight.
Kha and his servant coconuted across the land and were still coconuting when they came to a stop in front of a mighty looking Black Knight.
“Would you like to be my knight?” Yuuno asked the Black Knight. “You can be the first one.”
“No.” The Black Knight, who’s real name was Zest, was quite annoyed by the king, who was rather noisy. “None shall pass.”
“Well… please?”
“No.”
“I’ll fight you then!” The King drew his sword. “Come on!”
The king’s version of fighting was in fact just waving about his sword on the off chance he hit someone. Luckily for him Zest hadn’t quite gotten enough sleep the previous night and was clumsy enough to let Yuuno cut off his arm.
“Well see I won!” Yuuno was quite happy and motioned for Chrono keep coconuting.
“Not yet,” Zest attacked him with the other arm.
Yuuno quickly flailed off his other arm. “Alright now—”
Zest kicked Yuuno, “It’s only a flesh wound.”
One less leg later Yuuno found Zest was still trying attack him.
“Are you going to BLEED me to death?”
“I can take you!”
One stroke later Yuuno and Chrono were happily on their way while the black Knight tried to wiggle after them.
“Witch she’s a witch!”
“Burn her burn the witch!”
The peasant mob dragged a woman to the front. She’d been dressed up in a witch’s costume, complete with a witch nose. “I’m not a witch! My name is Kriss!”
Nanoha, the wisest person in town, looked down from her pedestal, “you sure look like a witch.”
“That doesn’t mean I am one! And they dressed me up like this!” She pointed down at the crowd of men.
Nanoha raised an eyebrow. “Is this true?”
A man named Shou looked slightly embarrassed, “Well yeah…”
“But she’s been stripping women only using hand signals!” PF argued, “So we must burn her!”
“Now now,” Nanoha waved her hand, “We will nid proof of her witchdom.” She took out Raising Heart. “Now if she survives the blast from Raising Heart—”
“Wait wait wait!” The men cried out not wanting to be breaker’d to next Tuesday.
Nanoha sighed, “fine. We’ll do it the scale way. Look alright witches burn because~”
“I set them on fire!” PF offered.
“Wrong because they’re made of wood and wood floats. Now what else floats?”
“GUNDAMS!” Someone in the back yelled.
“A duck.”
Everyone turned to see King Yuuno walk up.
“Exactly. So we weigh the duck against the witch and if they weigh the same…”
“She’s a witch!” The guys cheered and ran off to test it out.
“Who are you who is so intelligent?” Nanoha asked Yuuno.
Yuuno blushed for he found the somewhat crazy woman very cute. “King Yuuno…”
“Oh my a king.”
“Would you… maybe… I dunno be one of my knights?”
“Cool!”
And so the brave Sir Nanoha the Devil joined King Yuuno. She was soon followed by Sir Lanzalot who was definitely not the witch in the previous scene, Sir Fate the not-interested-Naoha-take-a-hint, Sir Wanwan who tries-really-really-hard-not-to-be-a-perv who nose blood had created several rivers and the aptly named Sir not-appearing-in-this-crack.
“And that my liege is how I came to know all of Fate’s measurements.” Nanoha nodded proudly.
Yuuno looked amazed. “I never knew Sir Fate had such larg—”
“It’s all a lie!” Fate cried.
Meanwhile Sir Wanwan had been bleeding since the beginning of Nanoha’s story.
“Look my liege!” Sir Lanzalot yelled out.
“Outer Cadia!” Yuuno gasped, looking at his capital.
“I’m thinking we do a crossover with EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. Nanoha vs. Ronald McDonald vs. Chuck Norris anyone?”
“KHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
“…no this sucks.”
Yuuno gulped. “Well, on second thought, let's not go to Outer Cadia-- it is a silly place.”
“Right right.”
They continued on. When suddenly a booming voice changed everything.
“Yuuno! Yuuno~”
The King and his entourage immediately fell to their knis.
“No no! How many times to I have to say it? I’m not a god!”
Sir Lanzalot argued, “But Satashi-sam-”
“NO! NO! SAMA OR I’LL STRIKE YOU DOWN!” Satashi boomed from heaven.
They all stood up.
“What are you doing now?”
“I’m averting my eyes,” Yuuno was looking away.
“No no no don’t do that!”
“But you don’t like me!”
“I like you fine.”
“But you write all that NanoFate stuff,” Yuuno sniffled.
“NanoFate?” Wanwan passed out.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t like you. Now I have a very very very important quest for you. You will find my hold flail!”
“How does god lose their flail?” Nanoha asked.
Satashi glared at her, “Here’s some Fate doujin’s, don’t ask me that again.”
“Agreed!”
Yuuno put a hand to his chest, “Oh G- Satashi we will find your flail. But please… write me some Yuunoha,” he started crying.
Satashi started to disappear, “Oh Angel’s calling me bye~”
“Y-You didn’t answer Satashi!”
“Now I’ve heard the flail is in that castle.” Yuuno pointed to a very ordinary looking castle. However the mere mention of it made everyone pale.
“But isn’t that Touhou castle?” Fate asked.
“Touhou!” Lanzalot’s eyes lit up.
“Touhou?” Wanwan’s nose suddenly flooded at the memory of images.
“Yes,” Yuuno nodded seriously. “Now let’s go ask them.”
The brave knights walked up to the castle.
An oddly dressed person greeted them. “What do you want?”
“We’re looking for Satashi’s flail have you seen it?”
“No. Now goodbye.”
“WAIT!” Yuuno yelled.
“If you do not go I will send Yuyuko to eat you all.”
“I am king of this land! And I demand your help!”
“I am not Mid-Childian!”
“Then what are you?”
“I’m French! And they’re all from Gensokyo, you silly king.”
“Then me and my knights will take your castle!”
“Your grammar is crap. You don't frighten us, pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Yuuno-king, you and all your silly yuri fangirls. Thppppt!”
“Maybe we should leave,” Wanwan offered.
“TO THE GROUND!” Nanoha yelled, “let’s break ‘em to the ground.”
“I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
“Is there someone else up there we could talk to?” Fate asked.
“No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!”
“Now listen here!” Yuuno shouted.
“Fetchez la Marcia!”
A blond girl walked up to the edge of the castle.
“Blast them good!”
Nanoha stepped forward, “I’ll show yo-”
“Run away!” Fate and Lanzalot grabbed Nanoha and dashed away with her.
They all ran far far away.
The story of Sir Wanwan
After being utterly defeated at castle Touhou, King Yuuno and his women decided to go their separate ways. Sir Wanwan went north with her minstrels.
Tempest who had given up being a mortician for the life of a minstrel followed Wanwan through the forest while singing.
“Chastely chaste Sir Wanwan, rode forth from Cadia.
She would never bleed oh no, o chaste Sir Wanwan.
She was not at all affected by temptations of the flesh.
Chaste, chaste, chaste, chaste Sir Robin!
She was not at all effected by breasts pressed in her face.
Or by braless bouncing chests and pantless women
To watch a magical girl transform and a loli at that,
She self-censors yes, chaste Sir Wanwan!
She can watch girls with breasts the size of balloons
With their hands moving towards other girls
And their shirts off and their pants going,
And their soggy muffins—"
“T-that’s enough music,” Wanwan gulped and held her nose.
They kept riding on until they exited the forest, then to their shock, there in the dark Wanwan spotted the holy flail, don’t ask how she could spot a flail, on highest window of a giant castle.
They rode forth towards the castle. Wanwan knocked on the door. “Excuse me! Excuse me! I’m looking for Satashi’s flail!”
The door open revealing a very lovely brown haired woman, “Oh~ you know Satashi? We love Satashi.” She welcomed Wanwan in, “but the men have to stay outside,” she pointed at her minstrels.
Wanwan shrugged and left them behind.
“Now welcome good knight to the castle Fon Filia,” Hayate swept her arm around the giant castle seemingly filled with only women, and a particularly shiny sword.
“I’m looking for the flail!”
“Yes yes, You look very tired. Saharet, Nikki~”
Two women popped up from the stairwell, “yes master!”
“Please prepare a bed for Wanwan.”
Wanwan gulped and turned red. “N-no that’s not necessary. If you’ll just point me towards the flail I’ll be on my way.”
Hayate forced Wanwan onto a bed. “Don’t be rude Sir Knight. Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between fifteen and twenty something, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing, playing yakyuken… We are just not used to handsome knights. Nay, nay, come, come, you may lie here.” She looked between Wanwan’s legs. “Oh, but you are wounded!”
“I’m fine!”
“You must see our doctor! Shamal!”
“That’s not nided!”
Shamal walked in and kniled in front of Wanwan. “Ah yes,” she stuck her head between Wanwan’s legs for a better view.
Wanwan stood up, “I have to find the flail!” She ran out of the room and right into…
… the giant… communal… bathroom.
“Want a bath Wanwan?” The girl’s asked in unison.
“Hayate!” Wanwan ran for Hayate who was standing in the back.
The girl, who was in fact not Hayate, looked surprised. “I’m Naolin.”
Wanwan started to leave.
“Where are you going?” Naolin asked.
Wanwan turned, “I seek the flail! I have seen it, here in this castle!”
Naolin held a hand to her mouth, “No! Oh, no! Bad, bad Hayate!
“What is it?” Wanwan looked concerned though she couldn’t help but notice Naolin was wearing a rather low cut dress.
“Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Hayate! She has been setting alight to our beacon, which, I just remembered, is flail-shaped. Oh dear.”
Wanwan’s eyes grew teary, “It's not the real flail?”
Naolin shook her head, “Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Hayate! Oh, she is a naughty woman, and she must pay the penalty -- and here in Castle Fon Filia, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!”
“A spanking! A spanking!” The girls got very excited.
“You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me,” Naolin nodded very seriously.
“And spank me.” Saharet waved her hand
“And me.” Nikki looked excited
“And me,” Shamal giggled.
“Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!” Naolin announced
Wanwan paled as the girls cheered, “A spanking! A spanking!”
Naolin had one more thing to say to the knight, “And after the spanking, the oral sex.”
“Oral sex! Oral sex!”
Squirt. Wanwan lay on the ground in a bleeding heap.
“SIR WANWAN!” Sir Lanzalot burst through the doors, shielding her eyes from the nearly nude woman, luckily the steam acted as a censor bar. “Away women!” She lifted up her bleeding friend.
“No no I think I will stay,” Wanwan said dizzily.
“You will not!”
“She wants to stay,” Naolin and the other women followed them.
“Let her stay!”
“Wanwan~”
“I really think I can handle this,” Wanwan said.
“You cannot! You were about to have a giant orgy for Satashi’s sake!”
“Which I could handle!”
“The flail look for the flail!” Lanzalot kept her out of the reach of Wanwan’s fangirls.
They burst out of the building and dove behind Tempest who held the women at bay.
“A man! Run away!” The women of castle Fon Filia retreated.
“I could have done it…”
“Like hell you could have!”
“Bet you’re straight.’
“I am not!”
Meanwhile King Yuuno, Sir Nanoha and Sir Fate had found something from a certain old man.
Yuuno and his group sat in a smelly old house. “So Aaron, this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the flail?”
“Old man, where does he live?” Nanoha got directly to the point.
“He knows of a cave, a cave which no man has entered,” Aaron nodded sagely.
“And the flail... The flail is there?”
“Very much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.”
“But the Flail! Where is the Flail!?” Fate implored.
“Seek you the Bridge of Death.”
“The Bridge of Death, which leads to the Flail?
“Hee hee ha ha!”
“Fate, we should have gotten Hayate to help,” Nanoha groaned.
“She’s too busy with her castle.”
So Yuuno went into a dark and very expensive forest to find the Bridge of Death. But it wasn’t long before he ran into the residents of the forest.
“NI!”
Yuuno jumped back from the weird bodysuit wearing women who all shouted ni at him.
“We are the number who say NI!” The tallest of them, a eyepatch wearing girl who seemed to be standing on something covered by a large coat, shouted at them.
“Who?” Nanoha raised an eyebrow.
“We are the keepers of the sacred words: Nii, Pen, and Nii-wom!”
“Well we’ll be going then…”
“NI!”
Fate blinked, “That’s kind of annoying.”
“A shrubbery! If you do not get us a shrubbery we will follow you and say NI!”
“Alright alright,” Yuuno held his ears, “just don’t say it!”
So the king and his knights had a new job.
“Hey weirdo! Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy
a shrubbery!” Nanoha held up a guy by his collar.
“Who sent you?” He eyed her suspiciously.
“The Knights Who Say Ni,” Fate got Nanoha to put him down.
“Agh! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here. Plenty of nukes no shrubs!”
“If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friends and I will say... we will say... `ni',” Yuuno bent down close to his ear.
“Agh! Do your worst! I can handle it!”
“Very well! Ni!”
“No! Never! No shrubberies!”
“Noo! Noo!” Nanoha shouted.
“No, no, no, no -- it's not that, it's 'ni',” Yuuno corrected
“Noo! Ni!”
“That's it, that's it, you've got it.” They patted Nanoha on the back.
“Are you saying 'ni' to that old woman?” Tempest, who had given up his job as Wanwan’s minstrel, sat on a large pile of shrubs.
Yuuno blinked, “Um, yes.”
“Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say `ni' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
ARTHUR: Did you say `shrubberies'?
“Yes, shrubberies are my trade -- I am a shrubber, I used to be several other things but they were lame. My name is Tempest the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.”
Nanoha looked around, “Ni!”
“No! No, no, no! No!”
“Here’s your shrubbery,” Yuuno pushed the shrub forward.
“I’m not a plant!” Protested the shrub, who claimed they were named Nictory.
“Whatever.”
“As wonderful as this shrubbery is,” the head number said. “We are now the Numbers Who Say Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble. So we will give you a new test.”
“Hell no,” Nanoha said bluntly. “STARLIGHT…”
“OH SHI—”
“BREAKER!”
And so all the knight we reunited and well on their way to finding the flail. They just seemed to wander along until one day…
“Who are you?” Yuuno asked the tiny girl who blocked their bath.
“I am Agito the enchanter!” A tree in the background spontaneously combusted.
“We’re looking for the holy flail have you seen it?” Wanwan asked.
“Have I seen it?!?!” Several more trees combusted. “Well yes actually. In the cave up there is a message but be warned there is a fearsome beast gu—”
“Well we’ll be off then,” Yuuno and company were already on their way out.
“LISTEN WHEN PEOPLE TALK TO YOU!” The forest exploded.
“I don’t see anything fierce here,” Sir Lanzalot looked around but didn’t see any monster.
“Maybe it’s behind that little girl?” Chrono, who had long been forgotten, pointed.
The little girl in question was running out of the cave before she proceeded to trip and fall on her face.
“She’s so cute!’ Nanoha swooned, “Let’s adopt her Fate!”
Fate sighed, “Let’s not.”
Sir Vita the hothead, who had only just joined the party, “Stepped forward, I’ll go and ask her, you lot would just scare her to death.” She stepped forward. “Hey little girl have you seen the-”
Vita was flung into the air by a blue pillar that shot from the ground and became a tiny speck in the sky.
“What the hell!” The group collectively exclaimed.
Out of the cave walked a very very pissed looking blue wolf.
“Is that supposed to be her babysitter?” Yuuno asked.
“I vote we use the holy hand grenade!” Lanzalot shouted for she didn’t want to face the raging babysitter.
“Brother Tempest always carries it with him!”
Yuuno and the group ran for Brother Tempest for Tempest had entered monkdom after he learned that few people actually liked shrubs.
Brother Tempest held out the grenade. “Brother Ax,” for Tempest had brought him to the monk world as well. “Read.”
Ax brought out the big book. “"And the Satashi spoke, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it and remember I AM NOT GOD.'"
“Right!” Yuuno took the grenade and pulled the pin, “One… Two… forty-two!” he lobbed it off and blasted the girl and her guardian into the sky. But don’t worry moe blobs and puppies bounce. “Into the cave!”
Inside the cave they learned that they had to go to a rather large lake to find the flail. On their way to find the flail they ran across the bridge old man Aaron had mentioned may scenes ago. In fact old man Aaron was standing on it. But there was no more time, if this crack runs any longer they’ll have this writer’s head. So Nanoha blasted the bridge and led them to the lake.
Yuuno cried out in misery. “Where the hell is this flail?”
Just then the lady of the lake rose out. The lady of the lake, more commonly known as Signum seemed uncomfortable in her very small mini-skirt. Beside her was the other lady of the lake, Rein.
“Why Yuuno you had the flail all along!” Rein cheered while Signum looked for something to cover herself with.
Yuuno looked up at her with shiny eyes, “You mean the flail’s inside all of us?”
Rein giggled, “don’t be silly. Wanwan has it.”
Wanwan flailed about, “I didn’t know honest!”
And so the flail was returned to Satashi and all order was returned to the world.
@.@ well here's the crack that's been boiling in the IRC (both the FFC and the OCC. The ideas came from everyone who was there really. Tempest, I think, came up with the original idea, which proceeded to get bounced around, with apologies to everyone featured .
@.@ well here's the crack that's been boiling in the IRC (both the FFC and the OCC. The ideas came from everyone who was there really. Tempest, I think, came up with the original idea, which proceeded to get bounced around, with apologies to everyone featured I promise I mean everything in the most loving way possible.
Monty Khrack and The Holy Flail
Spoiler for Here it is:
Clip clop clop clop clip.
Clop clop clip.
Clippity clippity cloppity clop-
“STOP THAT!”
“I just wanted to have a bit of fun sire,” The loyal servant of Yuuno, King of Mid-Childa, Chrono pouted and lipped his coconut halves in his hands.
The king raised a hand, “We’re looking for brave knights, that’s why we’ve come to this castle.”
“
They coconuted their way up to the wall of a castle. “Hello! We’re looking for brave knights!”
“Who you supposed to be?” the guard, a glasses wearing green haired man.
“Well I’m Yuuno king of the Mid-Childians!”
“How do I know that?”
Yuuno blinked, no one had actually contested his kingship before. “Well the lady of the lake gave me this particularly shiny sword.” He drew said sword.
“Well that doesn’t prove anything. And where’d you get the coconut’s anyway?”
“Well we found them.”
“Found them? There aren’t any oceans here!”
“Well birds move around.”
“That doesn’t mean coconuts migrate!”
“Well maybe… it was carried! By… by a swallow.”
“What the hell are you on?”
“Well if he gripped it by the husk…”
“It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut.”
“Well I say it could and I’m the main character.”
“Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow nids to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?”
“Oh oh but what if he was really really big!” A brown haired man popped up next to him. “And the coconut was very very small!”
“You’re just being stupid.” Neither noticed that the king had left.
“Bring out your dead!” Tempest walked throughout the city with his cart of corpses. “Any dead around here?”
“I got one,” a woman dragged out what looked to be a lazy, khrack addled man by the ear.
“But I’m not dead Anita,” the man appeared to be crying.
“Well I can’t take him if he isn’t dead,” Tempest pointed out.
“Oh he’ll be dead soon.”
“I’m getting better,” Kha croaked.
“Dead within a few minutes.”
“I don’t want to go in the cart.”
“Don’t be such a baby!”
“I have to keep going on,” Tempest pointed out.
“Can’t you do anything?” Anita pleaded.
“I feel fine. I might even write somethi-” CLONK!
Tempest put his shovel back in his cart and tossed Kha in his cart. “Who’s that then?”
“How should I know? I’m just a peasant.”
“Must be a king, he has coconuts after all.”
King Yuuno continued his journey, carefully avoiding any areas that might make his servant want to blow them up. Unfortunately he couldn’t seem to find anyone that would want to be his knight.
Kha and his servant coconuted across the land and were still coconuting when they came to a stop in front of a mighty looking Black Knight.
“Would you like to be my knight?” Yuuno asked the Black Knight. “You can be the first one.”
“No.” The Black Knight, who’s real name was Zest, was quite annoyed by the king, who was rather noisy. “None shall pass.”
“Well… please?”
“No.”
“I’ll fight you then!” The King drew his sword. “Come on!”
The king’s version of fighting was in fact just waving about his sword on the off chance he hit someone. Luckily for him Zest hadn’t quite gotten enough sleep the previous night and was clumsy enough to let Yuuno cut off his arm.
“Well see I won!” Yuuno was quite happy and motioned for Chrono keep coconuting.
“Not yet,” Zest attacked him with the other arm.
Yuuno quickly flailed off his other arm. “Alright now—”
Zest kicked Yuuno, “It’s only a flesh wound.”
One less leg later Yuuno found Zest was still trying attack him.
“Are you going to BLEED me to death?”
“I can take you!”
One stroke later Yuuno and Chrono were happily on their way while the black Knight tried to wiggle after them.
“Witch she’s a witch!”
“Burn her burn the witch!”
The peasant mob dragged a woman to the front. She’d been dressed up in a witch’s costume, complete with a witch nose. “I’m not a witch! My name is Kriss!”
Nanoha, the wisest person in town, looked down from her pedestal, “you sure look like a witch.”
“That doesn’t mean I am one! And they dressed me up like this!” She pointed down at the crowd of men.
Nanoha raised an eyebrow. “Is this true?”
A man named Shou looked slightly embarrassed, “Well yeah…”
“But she’s been stripping women only using hand signals!” PF argued, “So we must burn her!”
“Now now,” Nanoha waved her hand, “We will nid proof of her witchdom.” She took out Raising Heart. “Now if she survives the blast from Raising Heart—”
“Wait wait wait!” The men cried out not wanting to be breaker’d to next Tuesday.
Nanoha sighed, “fine. We’ll do it the scale way. Look alright witches burn because~”
“I set them on fire!” PF offered.
“Wrong because they’re made of wood and wood floats. Now what else floats?”
“GUNDAMS!” Someone in the back yelled.
“A duck.”
Everyone turned to see King Yuuno walk up.
“Exactly. So we weigh the duck against the witch and if they weigh the same…”
“She’s a witch!” The guys cheered and ran off to test it out.
“Who are you who is so intelligent?” Nanoha asked Yuuno.
Yuuno blushed for he found the somewhat crazy woman very cute. “King Yuuno…”
“Oh my a king.”
“Would you… maybe… I dunno be one of my knights?”
“Cool!”
And so the brave Sir Nanoha the Devil joined King Yuuno. She was soon followed by Sir Lanzalot who was definitely not the witch in the previous scene, Sir Fate the not-interested-Naoha-take-a-hint, Sir Wanwan who tries-really-really-hard-not-to-be-a-perv who nose blood had created several rivers and the aptly named Sir not-appearing-in-this-crack.
“And that my liege is how I came to know all of Fate’s measurements.” Nanoha nodded proudly.
Yuuno looked amazed. “I never knew Sir Fate had such larg—”
“It’s all a lie!” Fate cried.
Meanwhile Sir Wanwan had been bleeding since the beginning of Nanoha’s story.
“Look my liege!” Sir Lanzalot yelled out.
“Outer Cadia!” Yuuno gasped, looking at his capital.
“I’m thinking we do a crossover with EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD. Nanoha vs. Ronald McDonald vs. Chuck Norris anyone?”
“KHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
“…no this sucks.”
Yuuno gulped. “Well, on second thought, let's not go to Outer Cadia-- it is a silly place.”
“Right right.”
They continued on. When suddenly a booming voice changed everything.
“Yuuno! Yuuno~”
The King and his entourage immediately fell to their knis.
“No no! How many times to I have to say it? I’m not a god!”
Sir Lanzalot argued, “But Satashi-sam-”
“NO! NO! SAMA OR I’LL STRIKE YOU DOWN!” Satashi boomed from heaven.
They all stood up.
“What are you doing now?”
“I’m averting my eyes,” Yuuno was looking away.
“No no no don’t do that!”
“But you don’t like me!”
“I like you fine.”
“But you write all that NanoFate stuff,” Yuuno sniffled.
“NanoFate?” Wanwan passed out.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t like you. Now I have a very very very important quest for you. You will find my hold flail!”
“How does god lose their flail?” Nanoha asked.
Satashi glared at her, “Here’s some Fate doujin’s, don’t ask me that again.”
“Agreed!”
Yuuno put a hand to his chest, “Oh G- Satashi we will find your flail. But please… write me some Yuunoha,” he started crying.
Satashi started to disappear, “Oh Angel’s calling me bye~”
“Y-You didn’t answer Satashi!”
“Now I’ve heard the flail is in that castle.” Yuuno pointed to a very ordinary looking castle. However the mere mention of it made everyone pale.
“But isn’t that Touhou castle?” Fate asked.
“Touhou!” Lanzalot’s eyes lit up.
“Touhou?” Wanwan’s nose suddenly flooded at the memory of images.
“Yes,” Yuuno nodded seriously. “Now let’s go ask them.”
The brave knights walked up to the castle.
An oddly dressed person greeted them. “What do you want?”
“We’re looking for Satashi’s flail have you seen it?”
“No. Now goodbye.”
“WAIT!” Yuuno yelled.
“If you do not go I will send Yuyuko to eat you all.”
“I am king of this land! And I demand your help!”
“I am not Mid-Childian!”
“Then what are you?”
“I’m French! And they’re all from Gensokyo, you silly king.”
“Then me and my knights will take your castle!”
“Your grammar is crap. You don't frighten us, pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Yuuno-king, you and all your silly yuri fangirls. Thppppt!”
“Maybe we should leave,” Wanwan offered.
“TO THE GROUND!” Nanoha yelled, “let’s break ‘em to the ground.”
“I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
“Is there someone else up there we could talk to?” Fate asked.
“No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!”
“Now listen here!” Yuuno shouted.
“Fetchez la Marcia!”
A blond girl walked up to the edge of the castle.
“Blast them good!”
Nanoha stepped forward, “I’ll show yo-”
“Run away!” Fate and Lanzalot grabbed Nanoha and dashed away with her.
They all ran far far away.
The story of Sir Wanwan
After being utterly defeated at castle Touhou, King Yuuno and his women decided to go their separate ways. Sir Wanwan went north with her minstrels.
Tempest who had given up being a mortician for the life of a minstrel followed Wanwan through the forest while singing.
“Chastely chaste Sir Wanwan, rode forth from Cadia.
She would never bleed oh no, o chaste Sir Wanwan.
She was not at all affected by temptations of the flesh.
Chaste, chaste, chaste, chaste Sir Robin!
She was not at all effected by breasts pressed in her face.
Or by braless bouncing chests and pantless women
To watch a magical girl transform and a loli at that,
She self-censors yes, chaste Sir Wanwan!
She can watch girls with breasts the size of balloons
With their hands moving towards other girls
And their shirts off and their pants going,
And their soggy muffins—"
“T-that’s enough music,” Wanwan gulped and held her nose.
They kept riding on until they exited the forest, then to their shock, there in the dark Wanwan spotted the holy flail, don’t ask how she could spot a flail, on highest window of a giant castle.
They rode forth towards the castle. Wanwan knocked on the door. “Excuse me! Excuse me! I’m looking for Satashi’s flail!”
The door open revealing a very lovely brown haired woman, “Oh~ you know Satashi? We love Satashi.” She welcomed Wanwan in, “but the men have to stay outside,” she pointed at her minstrels.
Wanwan shrugged and left them behind.
“Now welcome good knight to the castle Fon Filia,” Hayate swept her arm around the giant castle seemingly filled with only women, and a particularly shiny sword.
“I’m looking for the flail!”
“Yes yes, You look very tired. Saharet, Nikki~”
Two women popped up from the stairwell, “yes master!”
“Please prepare a bed for Wanwan.”
Wanwan gulped and turned red. “N-no that’s not necessary. If you’ll just point me towards the flail I’ll be on my way.”
Hayate forced Wanwan onto a bed. “Don’t be rude Sir Knight. Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between fifteen and twenty something, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing, playing yakyuken… We are just not used to handsome knights. Nay, nay, come, come, you may lie here.” She looked between Wanwan’s legs. “Oh, but you are wounded!”
“I’m fine!”
“You must see our doctor! Shamal!”
“That’s not nided!”
Shamal walked in and kniled in front of Wanwan. “Ah yes,” she stuck her head between Wanwan’s legs for a better view.
Wanwan stood up, “I have to find the flail!” She ran out of the room and right into…
… the giant… communal… bathroom.
“Want a bath Wanwan?” The girl’s asked in unison.
“Hayate!” Wanwan ran for Hayate who was standing in the back.
The girl, who was in fact not Hayate, looked surprised. “I’m Naolin.”
Wanwan started to leave.
“Where are you going?” Naolin asked.
Wanwan turned, “I seek the flail! I have seen it, here in this castle!”
Naolin held a hand to her mouth, “No! Oh, no! Bad, bad Hayate!
“What is it?” Wanwan looked concerned though she couldn’t help but notice Naolin was wearing a rather low cut dress.
“Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Hayate! She has been setting alight to our beacon, which, I just remembered, is flail-shaped. Oh dear.”
Wanwan’s eyes grew teary, “It's not the real flail?”
Naolin shook her head, “Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Hayate! Oh, she is a naughty woman, and she must pay the penalty -- and here in Castle Fon Filia, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her!”
“A spanking! A spanking!” The girls got very excited.
“You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me,” Naolin nodded very seriously.
“And spank me.” Saharet waved her hand
“And me.” Nikki looked excited
“And me,” Shamal giggled.
“Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking!” Naolin announced
Wanwan paled as the girls cheered, “A spanking! A spanking!”
Naolin had one more thing to say to the knight, “And after the spanking, the oral sex.”
“Oral sex! Oral sex!”
Squirt. Wanwan lay on the ground in a bleeding heap.
“SIR WANWAN!” Sir Lanzalot burst through the doors, shielding her eyes from the nearly nude woman, luckily the steam acted as a censor bar. “Away women!” She lifted up her bleeding friend.
“No no I think I will stay,” Wanwan said dizzily.
“You will not!”
“She wants to stay,” Naolin and the other women followed them.
“Let her stay!”
“Wanwan~”
“I really think I can handle this,” Wanwan said.
“You cannot! You were about to have a giant orgy for Satashi’s sake!”
“Which I could handle!”
“The flail look for the flail!” Lanzalot kept her out of the reach of Wanwan’s fangirls.
They burst out of the building and dove behind Tempest who held the women at bay.
“A man! Run away!” The women of castle Fon Filia retreated.
“I could have done it…”
“Like hell you could have!”
“Bet you’re straight.’
“I am not!”
Meanwhile King Yuuno, Sir Nanoha and Sir Fate had found something from a certain old man.
Yuuno and his group sat in a smelly old house. “So Aaron, this enchanter of whom you speak, he has seen the flail?”
“Old man, where does he live?” Nanoha got directly to the point.
“He knows of a cave, a cave which no man has entered,” Aaron nodded sagely.
“And the flail... The flail is there?”
“Very much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.”
“But the Flail! Where is the Flail!?” Fate implored.
“Seek you the Bridge of Death.”
“The Bridge of Death, which leads to the Flail?
“Hee hee ha ha!”
“Fate, we should have gotten Hayate to help,” Nanoha groaned.
“She’s too busy with her castle.”
So Yuuno went into a dark and very expensive forest to find the Bridge of Death. But it wasn’t long before he ran into the residents of the forest.
“NI!”
Yuuno jumped back from the weird bodysuit wearing women who all shouted ni at him.
“We are the number who say NI!” The tallest of them, a eyepatch wearing girl who seemed to be standing on something covered by a large coat, shouted at them.
“Who?” Nanoha raised an eyebrow.
“We are the keepers of the sacred words: Nii, Pen, and Nii-wom!”
“Well we’ll be going then…”
“NI!”
Fate blinked, “That’s kind of annoying.”
“A shrubbery! If you do not get us a shrubbery we will follow you and say NI!”
“Alright alright,” Yuuno held his ears, “just don’t say it!”
So the king and his knights had a new job.
“Hey weirdo! Is there anywhere in this town where we could buy
a shrubbery!” Nanoha held up a guy by his collar.
“Who sent you?” He eyed her suspiciously.
“The Knights Who Say Ni,” Fate got Nanoha to put him down.
“Agh! No! Never! We have no shrubberies here. Plenty of nukes no shrubs!”
“If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friends and I will say... we will say... `ni',” Yuuno bent down close to his ear.
“Agh! Do your worst! I can handle it!”
“Very well! Ni!”
“No! Never! No shrubberies!”
“Noo! Noo!” Nanoha shouted.
“No, no, no, no -- it's not that, it's 'ni',” Yuuno corrected
“Noo! Ni!”
“That's it, that's it, you've got it.” They patted Nanoha on the back.
“Are you saying 'ni' to that old woman?” Tempest, who had given up his job as Wanwan’s minstrel, sat on a large pile of shrubs.
Yuuno blinked, “Um, yes.”
“Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say `ni' at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
ARTHUR: Did you say `shrubberies'?
“Yes, shrubberies are my trade -- I am a shrubber, I used to be several other things but they were lame. My name is Tempest the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.”
Nanoha looked around, “Ni!”
“No! No, no, no! No!”
“Here’s your shrubbery,” Yuuno pushed the shrub forward.
“I’m not a plant!” Protested the shrub, who claimed they were named Nictory.
“Whatever.”
“As wonderful as this shrubbery is,” the head number said. “We are now the Numbers Who Say Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoom-boing-mumble-mumble. So we will give you a new test.”
“Hell no,” Nanoha said bluntly. “STARLIGHT…”
“OH SHI—”
“BREAKER!”
And so all the knight we reunited and well on their way to finding the flail. They just seemed to wander along until one day…
“Who are you?” Yuuno asked the tiny girl who blocked their bath.
“I am Agito the enchanter!” A tree in the background spontaneously combusted.
“We’re looking for the holy flail have you seen it?” Wanwan asked.
“Have I seen it?!?!” Several more trees combusted. “Well yes actually. In the cave up there is a message but be warned there is a fearsome beast gu—”
“Well we’ll be off then,” Yuuno and company were already on their way out.
“LISTEN WHEN PEOPLE TALK TO YOU!” The forest exploded.
“I don’t see anything fierce here,” Sir Lanzalot looked around but didn’t see any monster.
“Maybe it’s behind that little girl?” Chrono, who had long been forgotten, pointed.
The little girl in question was running out of the cave before she proceeded to trip and fall on her face.
“She’s so cute!’ Nanoha swooned, “Let’s adopt her Fate!”
Fate sighed, “Let’s not.”
Sir Vita the hothead, who had only just joined the party, “Stepped forward, I’ll go and ask her, you lot would just scare her to death.” She stepped forward. “Hey little girl have you seen the-”
Vita was flung into the air by a blue pillar that shot from the ground and became a tiny speck in the sky.
“What the hell!” The group collectively exclaimed.
Out of the cave walked a very very pissed looking blue wolf.
“Is that supposed to be her babysitter?” Yuuno asked.
“I vote we use the holy hand grenade!” Lanzalot shouted for she didn’t want to face the raging babysitter.
“Brother Tempest always carries it with him!”
Yuuno and the group ran for Brother Tempest for Tempest had entered monkdom after he learned that few people actually liked shrubs.
Brother Tempest held out the grenade. “Brother Ax,” for Tempest had brought him to the monk world as well. “Read.”
Ax brought out the big book. “"And the Satashi spoke, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it and remember I AM NOT GOD.'"
“Right!” Yuuno took the grenade and pulled the pin, “One… Two… forty-two!” he lobbed it off and blasted the girl and her guardian into the sky. But don’t worry moe blobs and puppies bounce. “Into the cave!”
Inside the cave they learned that they had to go to a rather large lake to find the flail. On their way to find the flail they ran across the bridge old man Aaron had mentioned may scenes ago. In fact old man Aaron was standing on it. But there was no more time, if this crack runs any longer they’ll have this writer’s head. So Nanoha blasted the bridge and led them to the lake.
Yuuno cried out in misery. “Where the hell is this flail?”
Just then the lady of the lake rose out. The lady of the lake, more commonly known as Signum seemed uncomfortable in her very small mini-skirt. Beside her was the other lady of the lake, Rein.
“Why Yuuno you had the flail all along!” Rein cheered while Signum looked for something to cover herself with.
Yuuno looked up at her with shiny eyes, “You mean the flail’s inside all of us?”
Rein giggled, “don’t be silly. Wanwan has it.”
Wanwan flailed about, “I didn’t know honest!”
And so the flail was returned to Satashi and all order was returned to the world.
Aye!
And even I was in it *cries from hapiness* even if it was a tiny role I'm happy! :3
Awesome, I would pay to read more of this sort of crack
Here my first attempt at crack...the idea poped in my head last night at work ^^
Spoiler for After vampire!Fate...:
Zombie!Nanoha
Nanoha was walking toward Fate and Yuuno, her skin rotten and her face swarming with worms.
Fate: Look it’s nanoha
Yuuno: My god!
Fate: What?!
Yuuno: Can’t you see?!
Fate: What? What’s wrong?
Yuuno: Nanoha looks like hell, did you keep her from sleeping again?
Fate: *pouts* Of course not, she usually is the one keeping me awake all night…
Nanoha: Brraaaaaaaaaainnns…
Fate and Yuuno: …
Nanoha walks closer to them, still chanting
Nanoha: Braaaaaaaaaaaaaains…
Fate and Yuuno look at each other and Yuuno shoves Fate aside.
Yuuno: For once Nanoha wants me! T_T I’m so happy I won’t let you get in my way! *opens his arms wide toward Nanoha*
Fate: *Gets up and her barrier jacket forms around her as her face darkens* Bardiche?
Bardiche: Yes sir!
Yuuno: *gulps*
And a last one
Spoiler for *shot*:
Magical girl lyrical Nanoha werewolfS
Nanoha: …
Fate: …
Nanoha: Why Am I not a werewolf?
Fate: Saharet-san finally didn’t think any of us would fit with her image of werewolf…or didn’t think we were worthy…
Nanoha: …
Fate: …
Subaru walks in
Subaru: Heya guys ^^
Fate and Nanoha stares at Subaru with wide eyes
Nanoha: OMG! She has fangs and furry wolf ears!
Fate: She’s the werewolf!?
Subaru blinks
Nanoha: But isn’t Fate and Teana vampires?
Subaru gulps and runs away, Fate running after her
@.@ well here's the crack that's been boiling in the IRC (both the FFC and the OCC. The ideas came from everyone who was there really. Tempest, I think, came up with the original idea, which proceeded to get bounced around, with apologies to everyone featured I promise I mean everything in the most loving way possible.
Monty Khrack and The Holy Flail
Spoiler for Here it is:
-snip-
........@_@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*dies*
you know i saved this on my phone cause we had to leave and i read it on the car ride to school.. and i was trying so hard not to laugh cause my mother was sitting beside me.. @.@
suffice it to say that i was very amused and i loved the cameos of the FFT and OCT people. XD
wait umm.. >>>> Aye!....?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue-Phoenix
Yes, let there be a tidal wave of Aye's!
Aye!
Hello new person!! *waves* Welcome to the thread. ^^
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saharet
Here my first attempt at crack...the idea poped in my head last night at work ^^
Spoiler for After vampire!Fate...:
Zombie!Nanoha
Nanoha was walking toward Fate and Yuuno, her skin rotten and her face swarming with worms.
Fate: Look it’s nanoha
Yuuno: My god!
Fate: What?!
Yuuno: Can’t you see?!
Fate: What? What’s wrong?
Yuuno: Nanoha looks like hell, did you keep her from sleeping again?
Fate: *pouts* Of course not, she usually is the one keeping me awake all night…
Nanoha: Brraaaaaaaaaainnns…
Fate and Yuuno: …
Nanoha walks closer to them, still chanting
Nanoha: Braaaaaaaaaaaaaains…
Fate and Yuuno look at each other and Yuuno shoves Fate aside.
Yuuno: For once Nanoha wants me! T_T I’m so happy I won’t let you get in my way! *opens his arms wide toward Nanoha*
Fate: *Gets up and her barrier jacket forms around her as her face darkens* Bardiche?
Bardiche: Yes sir!
Yuuno: *gulps*
And a last one
Spoiler for *shot*:
Magical girl lyrical Nanoha werewolfS
Nanoha: …
Fate: …
Nanoha: Why Am I not a werewolf?
Fate: Saharet-san finally didn’t think any of us would fit with her image of werewolf…or didn’t think we were worthy…
Nanoha: …
Fate: …
Subaru walks in
Subaru: Heya guys ^^
Fate and Nanoha stares at Subaru with wide eyes
Nanoha: OMG! She has fangs and furry wolf ears!
Fate: She’s the werewolf!?
Subaru blinks
Nanoha: But isn’t Fate and Teana vampires?
Subaru gulps and runs away, Fate running after her
2008-07-17, 15:42
more device loving i see.. hehe.. last part was funny ^^'' no sleep for the bunny couple for a long while. 
and A
Sounds.. heavenly. 
Author
wahhhhhhhh!!! X3 *glomps eva* 
Thank you eva!!!! *huggles* I liked it very much!!! what a very nice story to wake up to. (just woke up lol) you just made me very happy. ^^ thanks again. 
