Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha Character Creation and Discussion

[Kha]

Originally Posted by Nightengale

Finally. *cracks brains*

Anyway, I already have a very rough idea, and it'll tie in the apparent existence of the Saint King being a prophet and a great leader of people in Ancient Belka.

The main point, I think I'll use Vivio for is to highlight the 'selfishness and ignorance of the Aces.'

Now...how to do that effectively... Hmm...

Vivio: Because you think of your own inferiority, because you're afraid of hurting others... you end up making them suffer. Mama, you're someone who places the weight of things on your own. It's a beautiful trait, but when you do so, and doesn't understand beyond the hearts of those who care for you and even those who doesn't matter to you... Are you aware of such?

Same to Fate-mama. She told me of her mothers... right now, all she has is loathe and contempt towards that man. Had she ever tried to see the world from his eyes? For someone who had lived for the sake of only those she can see with her eyes, isn't that just ignorance?

It's hard, but I'll see what I can crack out.

I can't imagine a girl that looks 6-7, and may have never stepped out of her can before say so much...

Now how to do it effectively indeed... Are we allowed to change how Vivio appeared?

[Wibbles]

Aaron? Are you there? If you are, I need your input for a moment.

@ Kha: Vivio is necessary for the sheer MOE factor that she provides. As long as you put her in, everything will be fine.

[Estavali]

Ah! I almost forgot .

Additional point to Guideline 3:

Feel free to develop the original cast in anyway you like, so as long as they don't deviate too much from their given characteristics.


I think the MSLN mangas should be very helpful here.

Originally Posted by Kha

I can't imagine a girl that looks 6-7, and may have never stepped out of her can before say so much...

Now how to do it effectively indeed... Are we allowed to change how Vivio appeared?

Hmm, I think we'll keep that unchanged. Maybe another challenge would be to explain how the drones were destroyed after making contact with Vivio (whether she blew them up up herself or has her own Garyuu, etc, is up to you all). This is yet another thing that Seven Arcs have conveniently forgotten to explain so far .

[Erio]

Originally Posted by Kha

I can't imagine a girl that looks 6-7, and may have never stepped out of her can before say so much...

Now how to do it effectively indeed... Are we allowed to change how Vivio appeared?

Sure its hard to imagine a 6-7 years old say that, but she can, because apparently she was part of Project F as well. Erio said that. In theory she should have the memories of the King, though they appear to be sealed at the moment.

One way I would go about doing this is to make Vivio awaken much earlier, and that is before she BEFRIENDS Nanoha. Vivio would start messing everything up the moment she wakes up.

[Jimmy C]

Er, I recall in ep11 Ginga mentioned that the pod they found was one for a child of 4 or 5. She's not 7.

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Estavali

*Cautiously and curiously looking around* So this is the OC thread...

The reputation sure is under-rated.

Okay, folks, I won't call this a challenge, but rather an invitation, as Keroko has so nicely put it.

No rules, but maybe some guidelines to follow, and the rationale behind them:

Guideline1: Regarding Storyline and plot details

Try not to change the overall plot and any major story element that came before episode 11~12. Keep to whatever Tsuzuki-san has written up to there, and then be creative. Before #13, the story has been fairly coherent and consistent (true, we did argued intensively over the Tia incident but that really has little to do with the plot imho). I observe that it is from #13 that things really started going down-slope, and this is in-tie with the mis-use of Vivio. Since our motive is to improve her (for some of us, Scagliettishly), this should be a good point to start.

However, you are most welcome to edit any minor details that doesn't make sense to you. Fate and Nanoha's ridiculously large room and bed is one such detail. I strongly and sincerely suggest everyone do something that will make life in RF6 look more in line with actual military life. The officers in my unit don't live in such shamefully luxurious environments in-camp, not even the base commander, and I see no reason that RF6 should do the same. Let the officers all sleep in bunks and single-size beds like their (wo)men. What they do in their rooms is entirely their business of course (why am I giving leeway to the NxFers ), but ours is to make them actually look professional. Let's get rid of all suggestions of nepotism and corruption from RF6, shall we?

Guideline 2: Regarding Vivio herself

Please refrain from altering Vivio's origins and bio-data, namely:

1) She is an Artificial Magus created from the DNA of the Sei-ou, under the orders of the HC. No living relatives in the usual sense.

Source of DNA: Blood found on the Sei-Ou's Holy Burial Shroud, illegally obtained by Due via seduction of an unfortunate(?) clergyman. (keep true to the Doc's story).

2) Age: 6~7

3) Normal Appearance: As what she appears in the anime.

4) The purpose for creating her is to control the Cradle.

Don't change these 4 points. Other than that, let your imagination work wonders . Doppelgangers, alternate persona, hidden purpose, what your Vivio wants to do with the Cradle... etc. Just let it rip.

Just don't make her too perfect/over-powered.



Guideline 3: Cast

Since this IS the OC thread, I can foresee some of us just itching to include our own characters into the main cast.

Deh, sorry, but work with the original cast. You can let your OCs join in the fun as supporting characters and sort, but never allow them to take the limelight from the original cast. The idea is to see how Vivio and StrikerS can be improved with the resources that has been given to us until anime's #12. Keeping solely to the cast given would be more challenging too, if I'm to add .


These should be the important ones, I think. Nightengale suggested that we
and I find it sound advice.

Other than that... Have fun .

We can't change any major storyline event? Mwahahaha, my specialty!

I think I won't mess around with RF6's living habbits, though. This is the TSAB, after all, not the earth millitary.

Now what to do, what to do.... Using Keroko would go against guideline 3, despite the fact that she follows guideline 1 pretty much to the letter... Hmm....

Originally Posted by Kha

I can't imagine a girl that looks 6-7, and may have never stepped out of her can before say so much...

Now how to do it effectively indeed... Are we allowed to change how Vivio appeared?

Not now, maybe, but Nighty has hinted this before as Vivio 'awakening' after becomming infused with the relic by scaglieti.

[Estavali]

Originally Posted by Jimmy C

Er, I recall in ep11 Ginga mentioned that the pod they found was one for a child of 4 or 5. She's not 7.

Well, you know....

Konata is already 17~18, but she still has the body of a six-grader. Maybe the same applies to Vivio as well?

But I think it's okay if you want to make her 4 or 5. Folks, shall we decide her age?

[Keroko]

Originally Posted by Estavali

Well, you know....

Konata is already 17~18, but she still has the body of a six-grader. Maybe the same applies to Vivio as well?

But I think it's okay if you want to make her 4 or 5. Folks, shall we decide her age?

Why not leave it as part of our realities? In one story she could be 4 or 5, in another 6 or 7, and so on, depending on the author.

[FlameSparkZ]

Originally Posted by Estavali

Well, you know....

Konata is already 17~18, but she still has the body of a six-grader. Maybe the same applies to Vivio as well?

But I think it's okay if you want to make her 4 or 5. Folks, shall we decide her age?

I think Konata is the same age as Kagami and Tsukasa, which is 16
And I think I recall in StrikerS that Vivio was around 6 years old

[Dream_Traveller]

Well, the matter of Vivio's "age" is clearly a matter of debate, but, as said, it can be altered by others to go along with their work...I believe her official "age", however, is 4-6.

Again, expect another alternate V scene soonish. I'll base it before the Bureau's assault on the Cradle, but there'll be some changes, so to speak.

[AImost Pure]

After watching Episodes 14 and 15 (? I think) the Two parter I had a surge of inspiration to write a teaser for the next portion of Minea's Diaries. This is the prelude to what is going to occur over the next installments leading to the introduction of Division Six. Enjoy!

Spoiler for Minea's Diaries Spoiler:

Celesti sat alone in her office on a warm morning. Her holographic computer displayed charts and information, with a photograph of Minea, displaying the increases in her magic level, Lost Logia Activity, and Astral Heaven’s connection to Minea. Slowly, but surely, she was finding the results she needed. Tomorrow began a new string of testing on Minea to see what properties the Astral Heaven has gained since its last use.

Celesti made a motion with her hand for the diagrams to vanish, but a familiar face appeared before her; a real time image communications from a colleague and acquaintance. Thanks to the trouble this man was stirring she was able to perform more elaborate experiments and research without being uncovered. A sinister, mad scientist grin wide on his thin lips, narrow eyes glaring at whoever fell in front of him, and shoulder length, grayed purple hair resting on white clothed shoulders. Celesti smiled a delightful reaction. “Scaglietti, what do I owe the pleasure of this communication?” She spoke confidently while her hands ideally drew back her deep jasmine hair. Red eyes stared forward catching any movements in Scaglietti’s face.

“My fear, Celesti, still trying to look like Precia did, hmm?’ He spoke with a chuckle at the end of his words. “I remember when you used to have the most beautiful chestnut hair. And your eyes the color of sapphires.” His voice rang with a soft reminiscing sound. “But, your admiration for Precia lead you to alter your own genetic code to look so much like her.’

Celesti was visibly moved by the words that he spoke of, speaking of the past in such a fashion. The smile she gave had a hint of longing twitching at the bottom tier. “Yes, but if you recall, I admired her but I loved you. That was not meant to be, our work was more important, is more important then any romance between two demented minds.”

“How true. How are my daughters?” The mad scientist replied.

“They are not your daughters, my dear Scaglietti, only Minea is related to another.”

“They are my daughters, regardless what you may think. My Project Fate did make them. Never the less, using Precia’s DNA and your own to create Minea, how ever did you get her permission for such a thing?”

“Unfortunately, I didn’t.” Celesti sighed pushing her self back some from her desk, her right leg rising crossing to hand down besides her left. “I took it during an accident where she bled. But no matter, the ends justify the means. After your attack that brought the TSAB such fear yesterday, I am now able to go ahead with my next string of experiments on Minea.”

“How is that coming along? Still working to abuse her to break her into a submissive kitten? You know, there was someone else who did that due to her insanity… and her little daughter clone went and turned on her.”

Celesti felt shear hatred fill her body the moment that one word was spoken: Failure. She shook her head at the possibility that such a thing would happen. “No, I have changed my idea and have ordered Alexandria to begin acting as a token big sister.

“And the cat ears you put on Minea… Why did you do that again? Ah yes, to honor the only friend you had growing up; your dear cat. It’s too bad those ruffians when you were little skinned the little dear.” Scaglietti so enjoyed tearing into Celesti’s wounds.

“Yes, I do remember who helped me through the hard times. Unlike someone whom I am now speaking too, I have yet to fail or be forced to hide away like a villain in the night.” She smirked lightly shaking her head ruffling the black locks from her eyes. “Oh how we get along so well, my dear.”

“Yes, quite right. But there are other matters I have wanted to discuss.”

“What would that be?”

“I am willing to give you two pieces for one piece. Information and data on the Book of the Night Sky, and something you may want to know. In exchange? All I ask for is combat data on Alexandria and the cyborgs that you built with my plans.” Scaglietti replied bringing a hand to rub his chin.

“Due to the chaos you created yesterday, the Admiral here has become quite nervous lately and caused some movement in the forest last night. This created an alarm that has forced my daughter to explore the surrounding forest with her unit. I will have the data for you when they return.”

“Excellent, I am sending the information on the Book and its owner now. As for the other piece, I believe you will be ecstatic to know that someone is investigating your facility. I do not know who, but they are already there keeping an eye on both you and the Admiral.” Scaglietti laughed lightly watching for Celesti’s reaction.

Celesti coyly grinned at this news. “Is that right? Good. It will make it much easier now to remove that incompetent admiral from his position now. His business work on the side has no further use for me, and my Artificial Mages are more powerful then his drug could ever create.”

“Drug?” Scaglietti questioned with an inquisitive tone.

“I’ll send the data over. If you like, I will even remove the Admiral’s Lost Logia from his possession.”

“Please do. Good luck, my Dear Celesti.”

“Good luck to you as well. May our goals be reached.”

[Erio]

Originally Posted by AImost Pure

After watching Episodes 14 and 15 (? I think) the Two parter I had a surge of inspiration to write a teaser for the next portion of Minea's Diaries. This is the prelude to what is going to occur over the next installments leading to the introduction of Division Six. Enjoy!

Spoiler for Minea's Diaries Spoiler:

Celesti sat alone in her office on a warm morning. Her holographic computer displayed charts and information, with a photograph of Minea, displaying the increases in her magic level, Lost Logia Activity, and Astral Heaven’s connection to Minea. Slowly, but surely, she was finding the results she needed. Tomorrow began a new string of testing on Minea to see what properties the Astral Heaven has gained since its last use.

Celesti made a motion with her hand for the diagrams to vanish, but a familiar face appeared before her; a real time image communications from a colleague and acquaintance. Thanks to the trouble this man was stirring she was able to perform more elaborate experiments and research without being uncovered. A sinister, mad scientist grin wide on his thin lips, narrow eyes glaring at whoever fell in front of him, and shoulder length, grayed purple hair resting on white clothed shoulders. Celesti smiled a delightful reaction. “Scaglietti, what do I owe the pleasure of this communication?” She spoke confidently while her hands ideally drew back her deep jasmine hair. Red eyes stared forward catching any movements in Scaglietti’s face.

“My fear, Celesti, still trying to look like Precia did, hmm?’ He spoke with a chuckle at the end of his words. “I remember when you used to have the most beautiful chestnut hair. And your eyes the color of sapphires.” His voice rang with a soft reminiscing sound. “But, your admiration for Precia lead you to alter your own genetic code to look so much like her.’

Celesti was visibly moved by the words that he spoke of, speaking of the past in such a fashion. The smile she gave had a hint of longing twitching at the bottom tier. “Yes, but if you recall, I admired her but I loved you. That was not meant to be, our work was more important, is more important then any romance between two demented minds.”

“How true. How are my daughters?” The mad scientist replied.

“They are not your daughters, my dear Scaglietti, only Minea is related to another.”

“They are my daughters, regardless what you may think. My Project Fate did make them. Never the less, using Precia’s DNA and your own to create Minea, how ever did you get her permission for such a thing?”

“Unfortunately, I didn’t.” Celesti sighed pushing her self back some from her desk, her right leg rising crossing to hand down besides her left. “I took it during an accident where she bled. But no matter, the ends justify the means. After your attack that brought the TSAB such fear yesterday, I am now able to go ahead with my next string of experiments on Minea.”

“How is that coming along? Still working to abuse her to break her into a submissive kitten? You know, there was someone else who did that due to her insanity… and her little daughter clone went and turned on her.”

Celesti felt shear hatred fill her body the moment that one word was spoken: Failure. She shook her head at the possibility that such a thing would happen. “No, I have changed my idea and have ordered Alexandria to begin acting as a token big sister.

“And the cat ears you put on Minea… Why did you do that again? Ah yes, to honor the only friend you had growing up; your dear cat. It’s too bad those ruffians when you were little skinned the little dear.” Scaglietti so enjoyed tearing into Celesti’s wounds.

“Yes, I do remember who helped me through the hard times. Unlike someone whom I am now speaking too, I have yet to fail or be forced to hide away like a villain in the night.” She smirked lightly shaking her head ruffling the black locks from her eyes. “Oh how we get along so well, my dear.”

“Yes, quite right. But there are other matters I have wanted to discuss.”

“What would that be?”

“I am willing to give you two pieces for one piece. Information and data on the Book of the Night Sky, and something you may want to know. In exchange? All I ask for is combat data on Alexandria and the cyborgs that you built with my plans.” Scaglietti replied bringing a hand to rub his chin.

“Due to the chaos you created yesterday, the Admiral here has become quite nervous lately and caused some movement in the forest last night. This created an alarm that has forced my daughter to explore the surrounding forest with her unit. I will have the data for you when they return.”

“Excellent, I am sending the information on the Book and its owner now. As for the other piece, I believe you will be ecstatic to know that someone is investigating your facility. I do not know who, but they are already there keeping an eye on both you and the Admiral.” Scaglietti laughed lightly watching for Celesti’s reaction.

Celesti coyly grinned at this news. “Is that right? Good. It will make it much easier now to remove that incompetent admiral from his position now. His business work on the side has no further use for me, and my Artificial Mages are more powerful then his drug could ever create.”

“Drug?” Scaglietti questioned with an inquisitive tone.

“I’ll send the data over. If you like, I will even remove the Admiral’s Lost Logia from his possession.”

“Please do. Good luck, my Dear Celesti.”

“Good luck to you as well. May our goals be reached.”

They have quite the relationship there...

I wonder what she's going to do with Hayate's data...

And a drug? I wonder what kind of drug you have in mind...

[FlameSparkZ]

Originally Posted by AImost Pure

After watching Episodes 14 and 15 (? I think) the Two parter I had a surge of inspiration to write a teaser for the next portion of Minea's Diaries. This is the prelude to what is going to occur over the next installments leading to the introduction of Division Six. Enjoy!

Spoiler for Minea's Diaries Spoiler:

Celesti sat alone in her office on a warm morning. Her holographic computer displayed charts and information, with a photograph of Minea, displaying the increases in her magic level, Lost Logia Activity, and Astral Heaven’s connection to Minea. Slowly, but surely, she was finding the results she needed. Tomorrow began a new string of testing on Minea to see what properties the Astral Heaven has gained since its last use.

Celesti made a motion with her hand for the diagrams to vanish, but a familiar face appeared before her; a real time image communications from a colleague and acquaintance. Thanks to the trouble this man was stirring she was able to perform more elaborate experiments and research without being uncovered. A sinister, mad scientist grin wide on his thin lips, narrow eyes glaring at whoever fell in front of him, and shoulder length, grayed purple hair resting on white clothed shoulders. Celesti smiled a delightful reaction. “Scaglietti, what do I owe the pleasure of this communication?” She spoke confidently while her hands ideally drew back her deep jasmine hair. Red eyes stared forward catching any movements in Scaglietti’s face.

“My fear, Celesti, still trying to look like Precia did, hmm?’ He spoke with a chuckle at the end of his words. “I remember when you used to have the most beautiful chestnut hair. And your eyes the color of sapphires.” His voice rang with a soft reminiscing sound. “But, your admiration for Precia lead you to alter your own genetic code to look so much like her.’

Celesti was visibly moved by the words that he spoke of, speaking of the past in such a fashion. The smile she gave had a hint of longing twitching at the bottom tier. “Yes, but if you recall, I admired her but I loved you. That was not meant to be, our work was more important, is more important then any romance between two demented minds.”

“How true. How are my daughters?” The mad scientist replied.

“They are not your daughters, my dear Scaglietti, only Minea is related to another.”

“They are my daughters, regardless what you may think. My Project Fate did make them. Never the less, using Precia’s DNA and your own to create Minea, how ever did you get her permission for such a thing?”

“Unfortunately, I didn’t.” Celesti sighed pushing her self back some from her desk, her right leg rising crossing to hand down besides her left. “I took it during an accident where she bled. But no matter, the ends justify the means. After your attack that brought the TSAB such fear yesterday, I am now able to go ahead with my next string of experiments on Minea.”

“How is that coming along? Still working to abuse her to break her into a submissive kitten? You know, there was someone else who did that due to her insanity… and her little daughter clone went and turned on her.”

Celesti felt shear hatred fill her body the moment that one word was spoken: Failure. She shook her head at the possibility that such a thing would happen. “No, I have changed my idea and have ordered Alexandria to begin acting as a token big sister.

“And the cat ears you put on Minea… Why did you do that again? Ah yes, to honor the only friend you had growing up; your dear cat. It’s too bad those ruffians when you were little skinned the little dear.” Scaglietti so enjoyed tearing into Celesti’s wounds.

“Yes, I do remember who helped me through the hard times. Unlike someone whom I am now speaking too, I have yet to fail or be forced to hide away like a villain in the night.” She smirked lightly shaking her head ruffling the black locks from her eyes. “Oh how we get along so well, my dear.”

“Yes, quite right. But there are other matters I have wanted to discuss.”

“What would that be?”

“I am willing to give you two pieces for one piece. Information and data on the Book of the Night Sky, and something you may want to know. In exchange? All I ask for is combat data on Alexandria and the cyborgs that you built with my plans.” Scaglietti replied bringing a hand to rub his chin.

“Due to the chaos you created yesterday, the Admiral here has become quite nervous lately and caused some movement in the forest last night. This created an alarm that has forced my daughter to explore the surrounding forest with her unit. I will have the data for you when they return.”

“Excellent, I am sending the information on the Book and its owner now. As for the other piece, I believe you will be ecstatic to know that someone is investigating your facility. I do not know who, but they are already there keeping an eye on both you and the Admiral.” Scaglietti laughed lightly watching for Celesti’s reaction.

Celesti coyly grinned at this news. “Is that right? Good. It will make it much easier now to remove that incompetent admiral from his position now. His business work on the side has no further use for me, and my Artificial Mages are more powerful then his drug could ever create.”

“Drug?” Scaglietti questioned with an inquisitive tone.

“I’ll send the data over. If you like, I will even remove the Admiral’s Lost Logia from his possession.”

“Please do. Good luck, my Dear Celesti.”

“Good luck to you as well. May our goals be reached.”

Things just keep getting more and more interesting
So Celesti has connections with Scaglietti...makes sense.
Nice relationship they have there

[Tk3997]

Originally Posted by Estavali

However, you are most welcome to edit any minor details that doesn't make sense to you. Fate and Nanoha's ridiculously large room and bed is one such detail. I strongly and sincerely suggest everyone do something that will make life in RF6 look more in line with actual military life. The officers in my unit don't live in such shamefully luxurious environments in-camp, not even the base commander, and I see no reason that RF6 should do the same. Let the officers all sleep in bunks and single-size beds like their (wo)men. What they do in their rooms is entirely their business of course (why am I giving leeway to the NxFers ), but ours is to make them actually look professional. Let's get rid of all suggestions of nepotism and corruption from RF6, shall we?
.

My issue with this is that this really isn’t any kind of real world military unit, your average army base is going to be housing THOUSANDS of guys, and this unit has like 10... (and you’re own rules forbid it growing much larger which really would be the most LOGICAL way to make it more militarily sound as it’s just too small for what it’s trying to do IMO.) in a building at least as large as a major apartment complex. Giant penthouses, okay a bit over the top, but apartments of a fair size are not out of place in my view. More so since they basiclly seem to be living on base and don’t appear to own their own residences (the forwards SURELY don’t) so somewhat higher standards then “cot in grey room the size of your closet” is justified.

Also the main cited example isn’t as bad as it might appear at a glance in my view for one it doesn’t seem to have any sort of kitchen (since all of them seem to eat in a mess) or possibly even a bath room. (Or at least showers as we see Vivio using the communal one used by the forwards at some point as I recall.) Which basiclly just renders it a somewhat oversized dorm room. Still slightly over the top perhaps, but not exactly a luxury condo or anything either.

I happen to support a more martial ethos and bent, but I don’t think the living accommodations are the issue here. Lack of discipline, scatter brained doctrine and lack of clear purpose (are they bodyguards, commandos, detectives!? Make up your mind!), sometimes poor decision making, an abysmal lack of intelligence throughout large portions of the series, and a radically inadequate size for it’s intended mission seem like much bigger issues then the fact some of it’s officers have pretty big rooms. Portraying competency, to me at least, doesn’t really entail having them all sleep in little concrete cubes. Also being TOO competent can be a problem in a story. If the heroes are ultra competent and figure everything quickly, make all the right moves, and win overwhelmingly… well militarily that’s great, from a story perspective, it sucks.

Just like bad guys can't be TOO competent (or you know, they'd WIN) neither can the good guys because they'd win too fast. Me I accepted long ago that in fiction people on both sides are going to, from time to time, act kinda stupid for the sake of the plot and drama. I really don't mind that anymore, could I think of better things to have done? usually, but most of those tend to result in some huge story altering event. (For instance sure Tarkin should have sent out ALL, or at least enough of his fighters to utterly defeat the threat no matter how small the attacking force, but if he did all the heroes die under a mountain of TIEs and the rebels get blasted, end of saga, not exactly acceptable.)

[Chaos2Frozen]

Originally Posted by Erio

Hey, didnt Jeno do all the work there? What were the other two doing?

Nice little piece. Cant comment more...gotta go do some work.

I was only telling the story from his point of view

At that time, I hadn't thought of revealing the others just yet, but now I will...

Originally Posted by Kha

Zerging... Check. Ghost reporting... Check. The Swarm pulling a World of Warcraft reference... Check with .

Wait, what WoW reference?

And the 'Exterminator' was more like a pun Remember what was Cero's device's name?

Originally Posted by Kha

Mission Briefing... Check. Wait, where's the "'All Heroes Must Survive' line?"

Jeno: We do more than just survive!

Huh?

Originally Posted by Kha

And at many points, the attack yields were way beyond AAA... In fact, beyond S rank, especially when dealing with the Abomination.

But I like their music. And the inherent coolness almost completely distracted all eyes from the h4xx...

You overestimate then

OR, maybe because I was describing them too well cause none of them I had any intention of going above AAA in terms of damage

[Wibbles]

I wrote up two new scenes. Enjoy!

Spoiler for Aftermath:

The assembled members of Section Six stood silently before the ruins of the transport train. Two of their members were not present, one missing and presumed dead, the other was kneeling amidst the wreckage, cursing himself and whatever gods were there.
“Ignatius…” Subaru and Hikaru made to move towards the older boy ahead of them, but were stopped short by Teana and Signum. Teana shook her head softly.
“Not now, Subaru. Not now. If we go over there now…” The gunslinger paused, as if remembering something. “If we go to him now, he’ll lash out at us.”

Spoiler for Grim Reunion:

Ignatius jumped over Nove’s attack, and let loose a cartridge from Flame Braver, charging power into his fist as he approached the panicking cyborg with a fiery gleam in his eye.
“It’s over!” And with that, he swung his now blazing fist at Nove, who closed her eyes in preparation for the end. The fist got closer… then stopped, blocked by a set of familiar claws attached to a familiar person in a black bodysuit. Ignatius was silent for a moment, processing the person before him with a shocked and hopeful stare.
“Katsuhito…. You’re alright!” Ignatius whispered, joyously. Katsuhito was quiet, then he looked up, and shattered every hope the older boy had. The face was Katsuhito’s, but it wasn’t his. Where Katsuhito’s eyes were calm and gentle, the eyes on the face in front of Ignatius held the glint of insanity, and a hint of circutry. The mouth twisted into a sadistic, feral grin.
“It’s been a while… Aniki!”
Katsuhito swung the other claw down.

[Dream_Traveller]

Very intriguing piece there, AImost Pure. Leaves me wondering just what plans Celesti has with the Doctor. Two well-accomplished scientists in cahoots, especially in the case of Scaglietti and Celesti, is always interesting.

And, to Tk, I'm not being condescending, but it's only a series- you can't expect to it follow the actual layout of a military facility, as you have said, to the letter. And as for flaws made by the Riot Force in the series, that's the doing of the directors, and they do what they must...although, yes, some situations the characters were in could have required a bit more tactical thought by higher ups in the Bureau. I'm just saying, that's all.


And, presented here is a little conversion by between alternate V, the Numbers, and others. This is before the Bureau assault on the Cradle. I also plan to make one around the time the Numbers first show up, and a "Dark V" vs. Nanoha (!) scene in the future.

Spoiler for The Curtain Rises:

There were few souls present in the now deserted lab in the Cradle. Most of the mobile Numbers had proceeded to head to the mission point- teleportation upwards to the vessel. The Doctor, busy as he generally was, left for "business" to attend to, he said, with Uno following along behind him.

This left V, standing silently at the front of the lab, his eyes skimming across the multitude of tubes in the dimly lit facility. He stayed like that a while, then turned to his companions, the others present in the spacious room. These were none other than the Numbers suited for close combat, the most of them in the least- Tre, Cinque and Sette. Theodore and Sigourney stood to attention beside them. The masked man opened up a communications window- Quattro answered, with Dieci by her side.

"Ah, V-san", she said, cheerily. "Is everything going to plan?", she asked, inquisitively. "Or are you stalling for once?"

"I don't need any of your trite remarks, Quattro", he replied, strictly. "And yes, everything is running as scheduled. I don't need t tell you anything more- you and the others have already acertained what they have to do." His tone was demanding. "Don't dilly-dally, for our sake- just move, with haste."

The Number only nodded silently in response, and closed window herself. V about-turned to those gathered. "And then there are our orders", he exclaimed, sharply. "What the old team must perform to keep this place intact..." He glanced at each of his allies, smirking under his porcelain mask.

"No doubt all of you are up to the task", he uttered. "From what the Doctor has gathered, the enemy has sent their best..."

"Hopefully better after their downfall", he stated to himself.

"Yes, their best", he mused. "Along with several clusters of air mages, purportedly." He started pacing up and down in a line across the group. "Also, cross-plane disturbances have detected the presence of a rather sizable Bureau fleet. But!", he cried, turning swiftly to those he faced. "That matters not", he concluded.

He strode over to Cinque, who had Stoff situated next to her, spear in hand. "I do not doubt your ability, my sweet", he said, coyly. "I just don't want you to get in too deep." He leaned forward. "Remember what happened last time?"

Cinque looked down and grimaced. That Nakajima girl losing her temper on her, to put it flatly, hadn't done the best for her. She had been spared major damage when V stepped in, and it was because of him that she had been allowed to continue ops, but it was a near-death experience nonetheless.

"All too well..." she replied, reminiscing. The eye-patched girl tilted her head upwards again. "But there'll be no mistakes this time."

V nodded in glee. "Good, good!", he shouted, sauntering over to Tre and Sette, but not before taking a brief amount of time to examine Cinque's new weapons (foot-long knives, curved) and suit, which the other Numbers bore.

He smiled slyly under his facial covering. "Red and black work nicely" he thought, "Works well with the upgrade, I must say..." He suppressed a chuckle.

"As for the two of you..." V directed a question at the duo. "Looks like your sister is coming..." He outstretched his hand, and another window formed, showing a blond-haired mage- Fate- on the other side. "Try to greet her into our domain without obliterating her hm?" Tre and Sette exchanged glances of slight annoyance.

V noticed this, and continued, somewhat cautiously. "Although I know you don't go over the top, of course, usually. But with all due seriousness, don't fully pulverize her- she could be of use."

Tre bobbed her head up and down in apprehension. "I am sure father would think the same thing", she replied. "Just as we understood his orders, we understand yours...in his absence", she noted. V nodded, remembering the fact that Jail had granted him only temporary command over some of the Numbers in his leave. Sette remained silent, yet V suspected she showed signs of inner concern.

"And, in your case..." He looked at Sigourney and Theo. "You act as per usual...support, in this case. Looks like your rivals are being towed along." Theodore's fist tightened at the mention of the one who wielded Strada, and Sigourney nodded in taciturnity, and snapped a salute. The two wheeled round and left the vicinity.

"Well then, my sisters..." He stepped back to the small cluster of Numbers, and viewed them admirably, evidenced by his tone. "All is set up on the Doctor's end, and the same holds true for us. Make or break time is upon us."

He took his place back at the front of the room, and murmured coldly and slowly:

"Let's get started...shall we?"

Uh...hm...

Now that I review this piece, I see quite a few flaws. I'm not exactly sure about the structure of it all, and I made up excuses for a few things (the new suit being an example- that is part of a proposed "upgrade scheme", but even then that's rather far-fetched...even though I like the new suit).

I also feel that this scene is somewhat random. The Numbers also have a lack of words. Cinque doesn't speak much, neither does Sette, but Tre's a more talkative one, albeit in serious terms. Sigourney is usually taciturn, but Theodore...he could've done with a few words.

All in all, though, I leave the fate of this piece in the hands of you, the readers. Give an honest opinion on this one.

EDIT: Please don't tell me I kinda killed this thread.

[haiz123321]

Originally Posted by Kha

Not too many of them. While you might get some disapproval, poster immunity ensure more violent attacks get clamped down, fast. :3

Is that a good thing or a bad thing for me?

@Erio: Although the evil mage is similar to orochimaru but I'll be damnned if i made him like Orochimaru lol. (The way he engraves the seal is not the same as orochimaru cause for one, he doesn't have a neck that can stretch like 40m) =p

[Erio]

Originally Posted by Wibbles

I wrote up two new scenes. Enjoy!

Spoiler for Aftermath:

The assembled members of Section Six stood silently before the ruins of the transport train. Two of their members were not present, one missing and presumed dead, the other was kneeling amidst the wreckage, cursing himself and whatever gods were there.
“Ignatius…” Subaru and Hikaru made to move towards the older boy ahead of them, but were stopped short by Teana and Signum. Teana shook her head softly.
“Not now, Subaru. Not now. If we go over there now…” The gunslinger paused, as if remembering something. “If we go to him now, he’ll lash out at us.”

Spoiler for Grim Reunion:

Ignatius jumped over Nove’s attack, and let loose a cartridge from Flame Braver, charging power into his fist as he approached the panicking cyborg with a fiery gleam in his eye.
“It’s over!” And with that, he swung his now blazing fist at Nove, who closed her eyes in preparation for the end. The fist got closer… then stopped, blocked by a set of familiar claws attached to a familiar person in a black bodysuit. Ignatius was silent for a moment, processing the person before him with a shocked and hopeful stare.
“Katsuhito…. You’re alright!” Ignatius whispered, joyously. Katsuhito was quiet, then he looked up, and shattered every hope the older boy had. The face was Katsuhito’s, but it wasn’t his. Where Katsuhito’s eyes were calm and gentle, the eyes on the face in front of Ignatius held the glint of insanity, and a hint of circutry. The mouth twisted into a sadistic, feral grin.
“It’s been a while… Aniki!”
Katsuhito swung the other claw down.

For the first one there wasnt much info to know what was going on, but for the second... interesting! Will there be more?

Originally Posted by Dream_Traveller

Very intriguing piece there, AImost Pure. Leaves me wondering just what plans Celesti has with the Doctor. Two well-accomplished scientists in cahoots, especially in the case of Scaglietti and Celesti, is always interesting.

And, to Tk, I'm not being condescending, but it's only a series- you can't expect to it follow the actual layout of a military facility, as you have said, to the letter. And as for flaws made by the Riot Force in the series, that's the doing of the directors, and they do what they must...although, yes, some situations the characters were in could have required a bit more tactical thought by higher ups in the Bureau. I'm just saying, that's all.


And, presented here is a little conversion by between alternate V, the Numbers, and others. This is before the Bureau assault on the Cradle. I also plan to make one around the time the Numbers first show up, and a "Dark V" vs. Nanoha (!) scene in the future.

Spoiler for The Curtain Rises:

There were few souls present in the now deserted lab in the Cradle. Most of the mobile Numbers had proceeded to head to the mission point- teleportation upwards to the vessel. The Doctor, busy as he generally was, left for "business" to attend to, he said, with Uno following along behind him.

This left V, standing silently at the front of the lab, his eyes skimming across the multitude of tubes in the dimly lit facility. He stayed like that a while, then turned to his companions, the others present in the spacious room. These were none other than the Numbers suited for close combat, the most of them in the least- Tre, Cinque and Sette. Theodore and Sigourney stood to attention beside them. The masked man opened up a communications window- Quattro answered, with Dieci by her side.

"Ah, V-san", she said, cheerily. "Is everything going to plan?", she asked, inquisitively. "Or are you stalling for once?"

"I don't need any of your trite remarks, Quattro", he replied, strictly. "And yes, everything is running as scheduled. I don't need t tell you anything more- you and the others have already acertained what they have to do." His tone was demanding. "Don't dilly-dally, for our sake- just move, with haste."

The Number only nodded silently in response, and closed window herself. V about-turned to those gathered. "And then there are our orders", he exclaimed, sharply. "What the old team must perform to keep this place intact..." He glanced at each of his allies, smirking under his porcelain mask.

"No doubt all of you are up to the task", he uttered. "From what the Doctor has gathered, the enemy has sent their best..."

"Hopefully better after their downfall", he stated to himself.

"Yes, their best", he mused. "Along with several clusters of air mages, purportedly." He started pacing up and down in a line across the group. "Also, cross-plane disturbances have detected the presence of a rather sizable Bureau fleet. But!", he cried, turning swiftly to those he faced. "That matters not", he concluded.

He strode over to Cinque, who had Stoff situated next to her, spear in hand. "I do not doubt your ability, my sweet", he said, coyly. "I just don't want you to get in too deep." He leaned forward. "Remember what happened last time?"

Cinque looked down and grimaced. That Nakajima girl losing her temper on her, to put it flatly, hadn't done the best for her. She had been spared major damage when V stepped in, and it was because of him that she had been allowed to continue ops, but it was a near-death experience nonetheless.

"All too well..." she replied, reminiscing. The eye-patched girl tilted her head upwards again. "But there'll be no mistakes this time."

V nodded in glee. "Good, good!", he shouted, sauntering over to Tre and Sette, but not before taking a brief amount of time to examine Cinque's new weapons (foot-long knives, curved) and suit, which the other Numbers bore.

He smiled slyly under his facial covering. "Red and black work nicely" he thought, "Works well with the upgrade, I must say..." He suppressed a chuckle.

"As for the two of you..." V directed a question at the duo. "Looks like your sister is coming..." He outstretched his hand, and another window formed, showing a blond-haired mage- Fate- on the other side. "Try to greet her into our domain without obliterating her hm?" Tre and Sette exchanged glances of slight annoyance.

V noticed this, and continued, somewhat cautiously. "Although I know you don't go over the top, of course, usually. But with all due seriousness, don't fully pulverize her- she could be of use."

Tre bobbed her head up and down in apprehension. "I am sure father would think the same thing", she replied. "Just as we understood his orders, we understand yours...in his absence", she noted. V nodded, remembering the fact that Jail had granted him only temporary command over some of the Numbers in his leave. Sette remained silent, yet V suspected she showed signs of inner concern.

"And, in your case..." He looked at Sigourney and Theo. "You act as per usual...support, in this case. Looks like your rivals are being towed along." Theodore's fist tightened at the mention of the one who wielded Strada, and Sigourney nodded in taciturnity, and snapped a salute. The two wheeled round and left the vicinity.

"Well then, my sisters..." He stepped back to the small cluster of Numbers, and viewed them admirably, evidenced by his tone. "All is set up on the Doctor's end, and the same holds true for us. Make or break time is upon us."

He took his place back at the front of the room, and murmured coldly and slowly:

"Let's get started...shall we?"

Uh...hm...

Now that I review this piece, I see quite a few flaws. I'm not exactly sure about the structure of it all, and I made up excuses for a few things (the new suit being an example- that is part of a proposed "upgrade scheme", but even then that's rather far-fetched...even though I like the new suit).

I also feel that this scene is somewhat random. The Numbers also have a lack of words. Cinque doesn't speak much, neither does Sette, but Tre's a more talkative one, albeit in serious terms. Sigourney is usually taciturn, but Theodore...he could've done with a few words.

All in all, though, I leave the fate of this piece in the hands of you, the readers. Give an honest opinion on this one.

V always makes a good impression, eh? No matter what version of him it is...

If I recall correctly, Sette doesnt talk unless someone asks her something, so I guess that's OK. As for Cinque, I wish there was more of her in the anime.

I like Cinque's upgrade, BTW.

As for the piece itself, it'll be hard to make Teana and Erio to be Sigourney and Theo's rivals, since then you would have to relocate a bunch of Numbers and reassign them to do other tasks... I'm interested to see how you handle that.

Originally Posted by haiz123321

Is that a good thing or a bad thing for me?

@Erio: Although the evil mage is similar to orochimaru but I'll be damnned if i made him like Orochimaru lol. (The way he engraves the seal is not the same as orochimaru cause for one, he doesn't have a neck that can stretch like 40m) =p

Haha, well, I wasnt expecting you to copypasta him but at least make him some sort of villain like him...

[haiz123321]

Originally Posted by AImost Pure

After watching Episodes 14 and 15 (? I think) the Two parter I had a surge of inspiration to write a teaser for the next portion of Minea's Diaries. This is the prelude to what is going to occur over the next installments leading to the introduction of Division Six. Enjoy!

Spoiler for Minea's Diaries Spoiler:

Celesti sat alone in her office on a warm morning. Her holographic computer displayed charts and information, with a photograph of Minea, displaying the increases in her magic level, Lost Logia Activity, and Astral Heaven’s connection to Minea. Slowly, but surely, she was finding the results she needed. Tomorrow began a new string of testing on Minea to see what properties the Astral Heaven has gained since its last use.

Celesti made a motion with her hand for the diagrams to vanish, but a familiar face appeared before her; a real time image communications from a colleague and acquaintance. Thanks to the trouble this man was stirring she was able to perform more elaborate experiments and research without being uncovered. A sinister, mad scientist grin wide on his thin lips, narrow eyes glaring at whoever fell in front of him, and shoulder length, grayed purple hair resting on white clothed shoulders. Celesti smiled a delightful reaction. “Scaglietti, what do I owe the pleasure of this communication?” She spoke confidently while her hands ideally drew back her deep jasmine hair. Red eyes stared forward catching any movements in Scaglietti’s face.

“My fear, Celesti, still trying to look like Precia did, hmm?’ He spoke with a chuckle at the end of his words. “I remember when you used to have the most beautiful chestnut hair. And your eyes the color of sapphires.” His voice rang with a soft reminiscing sound. “But, your admiration for Precia lead you to alter your own genetic code to look so much like her.’

Celesti was visibly moved by the words that he spoke of, speaking of the past in such a fashion. The smile she gave had a hint of longing twitching at the bottom tier. “Yes, but if you recall, I admired her but I loved you. That was not meant to be, our work was more important, is more important then any romance between two demented minds.”

“How true. How are my daughters?” The mad scientist replied.

“They are not your daughters, my dear Scaglietti, only Minea is related to another.”

“They are my daughters, regardless what you may think. My Project Fate did make them. Never the less, using Precia’s DNA and your own to create Minea, how ever did you get her permission for such a thing?”

“Unfortunately, I didn’t.” Celesti sighed pushing her self back some from her desk, her right leg rising crossing to hand down besides her left. “I took it during an accident where she bled. But no matter, the ends justify the means. After your attack that brought the TSAB such fear yesterday, I am now able to go ahead with my next string of experiments on Minea.”

“How is that coming along? Still working to abuse her to break her into a submissive kitten? You know, there was someone else who did that due to her insanity… and her little daughter clone went and turned on her.”

Celesti felt shear hatred fill her body the moment that one word was spoken: Failure. She shook her head at the possibility that such a thing would happen. “No, I have changed my idea and have ordered Alexandria to begin acting as a token big sister.

“And the cat ears you put on Minea… Why did you do that again? Ah yes, to honor the only friend you had growing up; your dear cat. It’s too bad those ruffians when you were little skinned the little dear.” Scaglietti so enjoyed tearing into Celesti’s wounds.

“Yes, I do remember who helped me through the hard times. Unlike someone whom I am now speaking too, I have yet to fail or be forced to hide away like a villain in the night.” She smirked lightly shaking her head ruffling the black locks from her eyes. “Oh how we get along so well, my dear.”

“Yes, quite right. But there are other matters I have wanted to discuss.”

“What would that be?”

“I am willing to give you two pieces for one piece. Information and data on the Book of the Night Sky, and something you may want to know. In exchange? All I ask for is combat data on Alexandria and the cyborgs that you built with my plans.” Scaglietti replied bringing a hand to rub his chin.

“Due to the chaos you created yesterday, the Admiral here has become quite nervous lately and caused some movement in the forest last night. This created an alarm that has forced my daughter to explore the surrounding forest with her unit. I will have the data for you when they return.”

“Excellent, I am sending the information on the Book and its owner now. As for the other piece, I believe you will be ecstatic to know that someone is investigating your facility. I do not know who, but they are already there keeping an eye on both you and the Admiral.” Scaglietti laughed lightly watching for Celesti’s reaction.

Celesti coyly grinned at this news. “Is that right? Good. It will make it much easier now to remove that incompetent admiral from his position now. His business work on the side has no further use for me, and my Artificial Mages are more powerful then his drug could ever create.”

“Drug?” Scaglietti questioned with an inquisitive tone.

“I’ll send the data over. If you like, I will even remove the Admiral’s Lost Logia from his possession.”

“Please do. Good luck, my Dear Celesti.”

“Good luck to you as well. May our goals be reached.”

Drugs... for the 3 druggies? =)