The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

From top to bottom:
Aebliss: Umm... not sure, really... I guess it could be considered "fanfiction"
Kagedanji: DoS redo/self-edit
Filled Insanity: Disappearance prologue edit
Kagedanji: DoS redo/self-edit, part 2
shaoron: (you already have this one)
Aebliss: DoS "Edit of an edit"

I think I got 'em all...

[dkellis]

Thanks. Added except for one:

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

Filled Insanity: Disappearance prologue edit

Edit of whose work, might I ask?

[shaoron]

@dk
mine i guess...

PS, disappearance is an entire volume...

[Cat Megex]

Originally Posted by shaoron

@dk
mine i guess...

PS, disappearance is an entire volume...

Volume 4, to be precise.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

Spoiler for Boredom, pt7:

It was a very hot May evening. Had Nagato not barged into the classroom that day, I would be taking a long nap in my grave right about now. At that time, Nagato was also chanting something very quickly, and defeated the person who was trying to kill me. Ah yes, Nagato still had his glasses back then.

What was he doing this time?

Then, I understood at once.

The bat swung, it was a home run.

Nagato seemed to have casually swung the bat, and managed to strike the center of the pitcher's fastball. The ball flew high above the field and finally disappeared behind the wall.

I turned my gaze towards my teammates. Koizumi grinned elegantly and nodded to me; Asahina-sempai looked a bit stiff, but wasn't surprised; while my sister and Tsuruya-sempai simply exclaimed, "Wow......"

The others simply dropped their jaws and went into shock. Of course, the same could be said of our opponents.

Haruki leapt joyously towards home plate and tapped on the helmet of Nagato, who had just circled the bases with a blank expression.

"That was amazing! Where'd you get so much power from?"

Haruki pulled and twisted Nagato's arms excitedly. Nagato still remained expressionless, allowing Haruki to celebrate.

A while later, Nagato walked towards the bench and handed the bat to me.

"This..." He pointed to the old bat and said, "Alteration in boost attribute data."

"What's that mean?" I asked. Nagato looked at me for some time and said,

"Homing mode."

He only said that and walked back to the bench and sat at the corner, picking up a thick book lying by the side and began reading it.

The score was now 9-1. It was the first half of the fourth inning. Looks like this'll be the last inning.


The opposing pitcher still hadn't recovered from the previous shock, but still managed to throw a fairly decent fastball towards me.

I finally understood what Nagato had said.

"Whoa!"

The bat moved on its own, my arms and shoulders were simply dragged along with it. Whack!

I originally thought I had only scratched the ball; I never could have imagined that it would've rode the wind, and flew that far up. It flew over the wall and lawn, and landed on the next field over. It was a home run. I widened my jaw.

Homing mode was really incredible......

I threw away the bat, which now had an automatic homing device and acceleration booster installed, and began to run.

As I passed second base, I turned to look at the bench. Haruki's were raised up and when our eyes met, he quickly turned away. You really out to celebrate wildly like Tsuruya-sempai and my brother! I saw Taniguchi and Kunikida looking shocked once again, while Asahina-sempai and Itsuko remained speechless. Our opponents simply exchanged glances.

I felt really sorry for them, but the shock our opponents suffered refused to wear out.

"If the two of you can pull that off, it should be a piece of cake for me!"

Haruki proclaimed as he walked towards the batter's box. When he arrived there, Haruki once again boastfully pointed the bat towards center field. I had already known that was exactly where it would go, but I didn't see any need to say why. He might as well be allowed to have his moment.

The center fielder prepared herself, remembering what happened last time. Unfortunately for her, she could only stand in shock as the ball flew over her head. The reaction to this was pretty much the same as the last two, so I see no reason to repeat myself again.

Next, my brother walked shakily towards the batter's box. As the helmet was too big for him, nearly half of his face was covered up. I can't really blame him for not maintaining his balance. My trump card for ensuring a defeat in this tournament now swung his bat, hit the pitcher's ball, and sent it over the fence. In other words, he also hit a home run.

Nagato never once swung until this inning, so the Pirates had no idea how good he was. I managed to hit a double the first time I was up. Haruki probably could have pulled off a home run, had his swing been positioned a little better. Our three consecutive home runs just now could be tolerated. However, for an 11-year-old fifth grader to hit a ball, which was thrown by a college student at the speed of 130 km/h (according to my instincts), over the fence... well, it's just plain impossible.

"Way to go, Little Slugger!" {Note: ... What? I like that series... and before anyone asks, I went with the dub name simply because it fit the situation better than what essentially translates as "bat boy"}

Haruki never doubted this twisted reality one bit. He hoisted my brother onto his shoulders and grinned widely.

"That's an incredible talent, you've got a bright future ahead! You're practically a shoe-in for the Baseball League!"

My brother was enjoying this praise. Not that he really earned it, but oh well...

How should I say this? ......Hmm, the score was now 9-4.


I was now sitting on the bench, wrapping my head with my hands.

Our home run onslaught continued, with the score now at 9-8. Eight continuous home runs in one inning, this has got to be a record.

After hitting a blast, Taniguchi ran back to the bench saying,

"I've decided to join the Baseball Team. Who knew I had it in me? It almost felt as though the bat itself it the ball!"

Next to her, Kunikida naively added, "Yeah, that's true!"

They sure look excited. Tsuruya-sempai slapped the shoulder of Asahina-sempai, who suddenly felt nervous for no reason, while laughing loudly. I'm glad those three are so simple-minded.

I was beginning to grow tired of the whacking noises, as the balls kept flying towards the scoreboard and bouncing off of it.

Until now, the opponent has switched three pitchers. I'm sure they didn't want any sympathy from me, but I still decided to pity them. Poor girls.

The batting order rotated once again, and Asahina-sempai and Nagato made back-to-back home runs. Finally, the score was reversed to 9-10, in our favor. Ten consecutive home runs...... I began to think that this needs to be stopped quickly, seeing as our opponents were looking at the bat instead of us. Could they have mistaken it for some magic bat? I suppose it was only natural for them to think that way.

{Note: Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi! }

As he handed me the bat, I decided to have a talk with Nagato.

"This is enough."

I said. It was rare to see Nagato's expressionless eyes blinking so many times. Normally, he only blinks once every ten seconds.

"I see."

He replied, then placed his fingers over the tip of the bat and quickly chanted something. I couldn't hear what was being said, but I probably wouldn't be able to understand it anyway.

After quickly withdrawing his fingers from the bat, Nagato said nothing, quietly returned to his position on the bench and began reading his book again.

Argh!

{Note: Next part is original content, so it might be going a bit overboard... sorry, Kyonko...}

I was now up to bat again, this time without any additional help. The first pitch came, it was thrown within inches of my head. Looks like the pitcher was serious about not letting me continue our streak.

Second pitch; a hard pitch near my feet. I know you're mad, but this is a bit much, isn't it? Oh well, the count is two balls now.

The third pitch flew past my side, almost close enough to hit me. This is really getting out of hand.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?! Are you gonna let them do that to us?!"

I had no idea whether Haruki was yelling at me or the umpire, and I really didn't care. Right about then, I was more concerned for my physical well-being than what Haruki was thinking.

The fourth pitch was fast, really fast. I barely even saw it coming......

... I know I said I was going to finish things with this one, but I figured I'd stop where I did, as that last part might have been a bit too much... plus I've gotta go find a nice safe minefield to hide in, due to fear of rabid Kyonko fanboys probably wanting my head after writing that...

*e*Is there really any need for me to actually keep doing this?
Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Part five
Part six
{This is seven}
PartTheEND

[Molenir]

Just discovered this last night. Have spent most of last night, and part of this morning reading through this huge pile of posts. Still have another 300 or so pages to read through. Gah!

Still, this is so fun, the genderbending scenario. Totally turning the story around. I've really enjoyed reading what has been written so far.

While I'm not a writer by any stretch of the imagination, I do tend to be fairly good with editing. If no one minds, I'll go ahead and read through and post a few suggested changes to whats already been done.

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Molenir

Just discovered this last night. Have spent most of last night, and part of this morning reading through this huge pile of posts. Still have another 300 or so pages to read through. Gah!

Still, this is so fun, the genderbending scenario. Totally turning the story around. I've really enjoyed reading what has been written so far.

While I'm not a writer by any stretch of the imagination, I do tend to be fairly good with editing. If no one minds, I'll go ahead and read through and post a few suggested changes to whats already been done.

Go right ahead. Please, be our guests.

[Molenir]

A few suggested Changes for Volume 1 Chapter 1 (I pulled this from the baka-tsuki project page, so may not be the latest versions.) Also, please don't be offended by these suggestions. Thats all they are, suggestions. Use or don't use them as you like.

Spoiler for Suggested Changes Chapter 1:

Currently
All this was my first impression of this guy.
Change to
This was my first impression of Suzimiya Haruki.
Reason for Change - English seems a bit off here.

After grabbing everyone's attention on the first day, Haruki reverted to being an ordinary high school male.
Change to
After grabbing everyone's attention on the first day, Haruki reverted to being an ordinary high school boy.
Reason - Girls tend to refer to guys, not as males, but rather as boys. Since this is written from a female perspective, using boy rather then male seems like a better fit.

they saw a fellow kinsman in the tall, thickset Haruki.
change to
they saw a fellow kinsman in the tall, well-built Haruki.
Reason - Thickset seems to suggest the wrong thing.

Haruki would totally ignore everyone else and take his pants off without so much as a glance.
change/reason
I suggest changing the pants to the shirt. Girls tend to focus on a guys chest, and butt at least initially. Also it seems a bit abnormal to just take off your pants. Most people start by taking off their shirt, and then getting to their pants. Maybe add a bit about his muscles or something here.

"When was it that you noticed?"
His tone was so icy cold that it was like icicles being crushed by sharp rocks. I paused a while, trying to think of my answer under that glare.
"F-for a while, I think."
"Truth be told?"
Change/Reason - The question and the response don't fit here. I don't know if its on purpose due to Kyon being flustered by Haruki's intense response, but you might want to change it to match. Perhaps either change the question to "How long have you noticed?" or the response. "A-awhile ago, I think." And I'm not sure who is saying the Truth be told line. It could be clearer, and should it be a question? If its Haruki saying it, then "Truth be told..." Seems like it would be better.

"Have we ever met before? Long ago?"
"No, I don’t think so…"
Change to "No, I don't think so... and I'm pretty sure I'd remember."
Reason - Is a bit more snarky and seems to fit.

Maybe this make me as weird as he is, talking to him like that?
Change to
Maybe this makes me as weird as he is, talking to him like that?
Reason - makes should be pluralized

I do hope she isn’t one of those stalking psycho girls that follow you around for years.”
change to
I hope she not one of those stalking psycho girls that follow you around for years.”
Reason - It sounds odd.

Each one of them expects to be taken out to dinner and paid for, with candles!
Change
Each one of them expects to be taken out to dinner, and they always want candles!
Reason - Again, sounds strange. Also removed the paid for as its implied, and seems extraneous.

Why could they not tell me something that important to my face?!"
Change to
Shouldn't they tell me something that important, face to face?!
Reason - Since its phrased as a question, seems better and more in keeping with the character to make it more rhetorical.

Is that why Haruki always has that "screw-everything-ever" look on his face...?
Change/Reason
Not sure whats meant by Screw-everything-ever. I'd suggest taking out the -ever. It would make more sense.

"Shut it! That’s not important right now. What kind of magical spell did you cast?"
"Magical spell? What?"
Change/Reason - Think it would be better to take out the word magical here. I think it makes more sense if you just say spell. So would be "What kind of spell did you cast?" Alternatively you could just use Magic, rather then Spell. So... "What kind of magic did you use?" Then. "Magic? What?"

Why does this school not have any decently interesting clubs?"
Change to
"Why doesn't this school have any interesting clubs?"
Reason - I think it sounds better

this is like trying to get into the Major League
Change
Major League to Major Leagues.
Reason - Oddly enough is plural. I know it doesn't make sense, but thats how it is.

My head suddenly hurt and I don't think it had anything to do with my scalp being nearly peeled off.
Change
anything to do with my hair nearly being ripped out.
Reason - Scalp being peeled off doesn't really connect. While with the situation, hair being ripped out fits.

Again, feel free to use this or not. I'll be back with more suggestions later.

[Cat Megex]

Originally Posted by Molenir

*snip*

WELCOME TO KYONKO'S DOMAIN.

[ClockWorkAngel]

Welcome! Your proposals looks good to me, but of course Kaisos is the final decider.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

Originally Posted by Molenir

I do hope she isn’t one of those stalking psycho girls that follow you around for years.”
change to
I hope she not one of those stalking psycho girls that follow you around for years.”
Reason - It sounds odd.

Ironically, your version sounds somewhat worse

[Cat Megex]

Originally Posted by Kogetsu Shirogane

Ironically, your version sounds somewhat worse

How about "I hope she isn't one of those psycho stalker girls who follow you around for years"?

[Molenir]

The "do hope" part is what sounds weird. However I figured, if you're changing that sentence, then you might as well go all the way, and alter the whole thing to sound a bit more normal. Though admittedly, I forgot to pluralize she. And of course didn't pay attention to the stalking psycho girls, which also sounds a bit off. I think this...

"I hope shes not one of those psycho, stalker-type girls who follow you around for years." or something similar would be better then the original;

"I do hope she isn’t one of those stalking psycho girls that follow you around for years.”

The original works of course, and doesn't really need to be changed. I suppose in this case, its mostly just a matter of preference, and possibly where you're from. Regardless though, I really think that the "Do hope" sounds weird and ought to be changed. But like I said, just suggestions, feel free to use them or not.

[CrowKenobi]

Originally Posted by Molenir

The original works of course, and doesn't really need to be changed. I suppose in this case, its mostly just a matter of preference, and possibly where you're from. Regardless though, I really think that the "Do hope" sounds weird and ought to be changed. But like I said, just suggestions, feel free to use them or not.

How about " "I sure hope she isn’t one of those stalking, psycho girls that follow you around for years.”



Or even "I sure do hope..."

[Molenir]

I haven't had time to go through all of chapter 2 yet. Still in process of doing so. Anyway, thought I'd go ahead and give my initial suggestions now, and add the rest later.

So, Volume 1 Chapter 2, suggestions so far.

Spoiler for chapter 2 suggestions Part A:

Robot finger movements.
change to
Robotic finger movements.
Reason - What are robot finger movements?

unlike Haruki - his face defaulted to a poker face.
change to
unlike Haruki - his default face seemed to be a poker face.
Reason - defaulted? From what?

offer to walk home with them - though I wasn't going to miss their snide comments about my figure - and reluctantly dragged my heavy feet towards the clubroom.
change to
offer to walk home with them, though I wasn't going to miss their snide comments about my figure, and reluctantly dragged my heavy feet towards the clubroom.
Reason - dash doesn't really work. Needs commas.

"Is it interesting?"
"Is it interesting?"
change to
"Is it interesting?"
Reason - Obvious

He reminds me a bit of my little brother.
his is Haruki's "chosen candidate"?
Change to
He reminded me a bit of my little brother.
This is Haruki's "chosen candidate"?
Reason - Tense is wrong on remind, and This is lacking the T on the next line.

WIt didn't look like
change to
It didn't look like
Reason - Obvious

Asahina Mitsuuru had gotten up off the ground,
change/reason - He never fell on the ground, earlier he grabbed the table for support, so he wouldn't fall.

Oh. Oh my god.
change to
Oh My God!
Reason - Gives more of a sense of the shock.

Why I am involved in a brigade like this?
Change to
How did I get involved in this?
Reason - a brigade like this just sounds weird. Additionally, its a rhetorical question, so makes sense to change it so that she is asking herself how she got roped into this.

Feel free to comment, ignore, or simply disregard the above suggestions.

[Kagedanji]

I also redid another edit of mine. I just wish that more than one sentence of it was used in the official, final version.

Spoiler for :D:

In an instant, a diagonal, metallic-white, crescent-shaped light flashed in front of Asakura. In addition to naturally blinking at it, I squatted down by instinct from the sound of a metal blade swishing in the air. When I heard something seem to cut into the teacher’s desk behind me, I scrambled halfway towards the door and faced him.

Smiling pleasantly, Asakura, still facing the blackboard, now before the teacher’s desk, had a straight, mid-length, metal blade that was sharp enough to cut into the wood of the teacher’s desk and get stuck in it. It was some kind of old Japanese sword, maybe a katana, but the blade was straight… A ninja-tou, a feudal era assassin’s weapon...

I was very lucky to suddenly be granted with those ninja-senses, because right now, I'm on the ground on my backside, looking palely at Asakura.

Why didn't he give chase?

...No, wait! What on Earth's going on? Why is he trying to slice me in half? Wait a second, what was it had he just said? He wants to kill me? Kill?! But, why!?

I could already tell by how he butchered the teacher’s desk that he was serious, but I could only say this trademark sentence of mine.

"Wha - that was dangerous! Even if that were a fake sword, I’d still be freaked as hell! Put that thing away!"

I was really confounded. If someone knows what's going on, please come out and explain to me!

"I know that you know that I’m very serious." Asakura said in a very cheerful tone, not sounding very serious at all. Now that I think about it, a muscular high school guy smiling while brandishing a samurai-age sword is really scary... Looking at it another way, it’s also kinda hot, but at that moment I had no time for thoughts like that. So now you know how frightened I was.

"Hmph…"

Asakura forcefully pulled the blade out of the desk, swiped the blade once to get off the splinters and saw dust, and patted his shoulder with the dull side of the ninja-tou.

"You don't like dying? You really don't want to die? The death of organic entities means nothing to me."

Asakura is supposed to be the responsible class rep, who would only talk when necessary in class, and wouldn't go nuts even when faced with a problem. Why would he carry a ninja’s blade and say he wants to kill me all of a sudden?

Yet I need to remember the fact that that sword is real, because if I wasn't careful that time, I would be in two pieces over a red puddle right now.

"I’m not getting anything from what you’re saying. This isn't funny anymore, OK? It was never even funny to begin with! Put it away!"

At this moment, I was close to tears.

"I cannot do that. Rather, I’d rather not do that." Asakura smiled his usual innocent smile, "Because I really want you dead."

He held his sword outwards to his right, blade facing back, and started rushing towards me. He's freaking fast! This time I was prepared, because long before Asakura made his move, I had set sights on escaping through the classroom door - yet I ended up slamming into a wall.

???

That's strange, I can’t find the knob, where'd the door go? Even the windows are gone! There were supposed to be windows on the wall facing the corridor, now it's just a thick grey wall. It’s like a cave in here!

Impossible!

"It's futile."

Asakura's voice grew closer from behind.

"I now have control of this area of space, so all exits have been blocked. It was quite easy actually, all I needed to do was tamper with the molecular structure of this school building and I can change its matter at will. This room has now become a sealed room, and there's no way in or out now. Your crying can’t even be heard outside this room."

I turned around and noticed that the sunset has gone as well. The whole room is surrounded by concrete walls, leaving only the white lamps shining coldy on the desks.

This can't be happening!

Asakura's silhouette moved slowly towards me.

"I advise you to stop resisting; your death is inevitable."

"...Who are you, really?"

No matter where I looked, there was a grey wall. There's not a single door, a single window, nothing! Is something wrong with my brain? Could this be just a dream? Could Mitsuru be changing behind me as I embarrassingly snore? Oh great, I can’t think straight and my priorities are mixed up!

I frantically moved between the desks, trying to get as far from Asakura as possible. Yet Asakura calmly walked towards me in a straight line, moving the desks and chairs from his path at will, as if he had some sort of telekinetic force field around him. Compared to him, my path was always blocked by the desks.

This cat and mouse chase didn't last long, and eventually I was cornered.
If that's the case...

I decided to take a risk and threw a chair at Asakura, yet the chair turned in the air right in front of him, and flew off to the other end of the room. How can this be possible!?

"Impressive strength for a petite girl, but strength does not matter when against my kind. Didn't I tell you it's futile? Everything in this room now moves according to my will."

Wait... Wait!

What is going on here? If this isn't a joke or a prank, and neither I nor Asakura are crazy, then what is going on?

I have to kill you, and see what sort of reaction Suzumiya Haruki would have.

Why is it Haruki again? Haruki, my, aren't you getting a bit too popular?

"Sigh… I should've done this to begin with."

My body froze after Asakura said that, literally. Hey cheapo, that’s not fair!

My feet are rooted to the ground like a tree, unable to move. My arms are fixed like a wax statue - I can't even move my fingers. My face, stuck pointing towards the ground, could see Asakura's indoor shoes slowly entering my field of vision. Dammit, my nose itches!

"Once you die, Suzumiya Haruki is bound to have some sort of reaction. This might create a massive data explosion from which we could salvage something. This could be the chance in a lifetime for us."

I don't really care about that, ya know!

"Now die."

I could feel Asakura readying his ninja-tou. Where would he start? Beheading, straight across, into the gut...? Maybe he’ll… ugh… toy with me? If I knew how I was going to die, I could at least be prepared. At least let me close my eyes... No, I’m unable to. W...what's this!?

I suddenly felt the air shake. The blade began to fall upon me...

At this moment, the ceiling gave out a loud cracking noise, followed by debris falling down. Some of which fell on my head – Ouch, Dammit! I was covered in white dust by the large amount of continuously falling debris, so I guess Asakura is covered in white as well. I wanted to see what the bastard looked like now, but I couldn't move...no, wait! I can move again!

I lifted my head and discovered...!

A shocked Asakura - just as he's about to behead me from my right side with a right-handed grip on the sword, as I suspected. Standing in front though, blocking the sword with his right forearm, making a cut in his uniform’s sleeve and his own arm, is the slim, yet masculine figure of Nagato Yuuki.

(Wow, the blade isn’t even close to doing to his arm what it did to that desk.)

"Your programs are too basic." Nagato said in his usual expressionless tone,

"The data lockdown around the ceiling area was a defense with holes, not complex enough. That is why I was able to discover it and enter."

"You want to get in my way? ...In the way of the objective?" Asakura seemed calm.

"Once I kill this girl, Suzumiya Haruki is bound to have some sort of reaction, slight or major. Only then can we obtain more data."

"You are supposed to be my backup. Any independent action with risks of major interference must go through me, or be commanded by me before being executed." Nagato said in a mantra-like tone, "This sort of insubordination is forbidden; you must obey commands given to you."

"Tch. And what if I refuse?"

"Simple, I will disconnect your data interface."

"Care to try? I have the advantage here, since this classroom belongs to the scope of my data control."

Nagato then spoke what sounded like garbled, sped up computer code.

"Processing application for data interface disconnection..."

As Nagato finished, the ninja-tou blade in his forearm started glowing brightly. Then, like a sugar cube being dropped into a cup of hot tea, it slowly crystallized, dissolved and fell towards the floor like powder.

"!"

Asakura released the hilt of his sword right before it disintegrated, and kicked at the ground, skidding five meters away on his left heel right before jumping back into a back flip a few more feet farther and landing in a kneeling position, leaving a skid mark, and a trail of smoke rising from the ground. Seeing this scene, I couldn't help but realize - geez, these guys can’t be human.

As Asakura landed so gracefully after making distance between us, he continued smiling as usual.

The space around began to distort – As far I can describe it. Asakura, the desks, the ceiling, and the floor all shook vigorously; overall, it had the appearance of what seemed like liquid metal, though I couldn't really see that clearly, since it was almost like I was experiencing a seizure.

Just as I saw thick shiny lines which seemed like spears fly through the air, a crystallized explosion occurred in front of Nagato's raised right palm.

The next second, there were continuous crystallized explosions around Nagato, followed by powder dropping onto the ground. The crystallized spear-like objects flew from all directions towards us with lightning-fast speed. It was already a moment later when I discovered Nagato facing those spears with the same speed using inhuman aerial acrobats.

"Don’t move too much."

Nagato dodged Asakura's attacks while pulling my ponytail so that I would kneel and take cover behind him.

"Eeek!"

An unknown object flew over my head and smashed the blackboard to pieces.

Nagato looked upwards a little, and in an instant many icicle-like objects grew from the ceiling and fell towards Asakura's head. Asakura moved away with a speed that couldn't be seen with the naked eye, and instantly an icicle forest formed from the ground.

"There's no way you can succeed in this area of space." Asakura said calmly. He and Nagato stood a few meters apart, staring each other down, while I could only kneel on the ground hopelessly, not daring to stand up.

Nagato stood in front of me with his legs slightly apart, and it's only now that I notice he's so serious that he even wrote his own name on his indoor shoes. Then, as if chanting a prayer, Nagato mumbled softly in that speedy computer code speech,

SELECT serial_code
FROM database
WHERE code='data'
ORDER BY aggressive_combat_data
HAVING terminate_mode

"Target name, Asakura Ryo, hostility confirmed. Disconnecting target's organic information interface. LOAD PROCEDURE."

Normal space no longer exists in the classroom. Everything has turned into geometric shapes, appearing twisted or cone-like. Seeing this surreal scenery is like entering one of those theme park houses of horrors, I'm getting dizzy already from watching.

"Even if I must be rid of, you shall stop functioning before me."

I have no idea where Asakura's voice is coming from in all this colorful mirage of scenery. I’m close to getting seizures again.

The sound of the wind slicing through the air entered my ears.


Nagato swung me around by my ponytail towards the floor behind him. I teared up from the pain.

"ACK! Dammit! What are you..."

Before I could finish, there was a spear so fast, I could just barely see it as it went past the tip of my nose and fell on the ground. At least the scratch made my nose stop itching. Ahh...

"We'll see how much longer you can protect that little thing. Try this!"
The next second, Nagato stood in front of me, facing me, impaled by about twelve brownish looking long spears.

"..."

In other words, Asakura attacked Nagato and me from all directions at the same time. Nagato managed to crystallize some of the spears and crush them with the grip of his hand or smash them with his kicks, but trying to prevent me from getting hit by the remaining spears, he'd shielded me with his body. But I didn't know that then, since it all happened so quickly.

Nagato's glasses fell from his face and softly bounced as they hit the ground.

"Nagato-kun... NO-!"

"Do not move." Nagato said calmly, with a stern undertone, pointing to the spears stuck in his chest and stomach. A pool of blood began to form under his feet.

"I'm fine, this is minor damage."

God, how can this be fine… Won’t you die from the blood loss or any vital organs he got?

Nagato pulled out a spear from where his heart would’ve been without even flinching once. The bloody spear fell onto the ground with a clanking noise, and instantly turned into a desk. So that's what the spears are made from! Nagato could only say “Hm,” at this and turned the rest of the spears into crystallized powder by crushing them with the grips of his hands.

"Don’t be so modest now; with that much damage to your frame I don't suppose you can stop me at this rate. Here's the finisher!"

At the other end of the twisted space, Asakura's silhouette faded in and out. I could see a smile from his face, which slowly grew sinister, as he then slowly raised his hands - if I'm not mistaken; his arms glowed all the way from his fingertips, and then extended to twice as long. No, even more than that...

"Perish!"

Asakura's arms kept on extending, wriggling like a bunch of tentacles, and then closing in from both directions. Holy crap, tentacles, I don’t want an H-scene! I shielded my maidenhood. Unable to move, Nagato's figure shook violently... The next instant, my face was splattered with blood.


Asakura's left arm had thrust into Nagato's right abdomen, while her right arm had thrust into Nagato's left pectoral area, piercing through her back and stopping at the classroom wall. Blood spattered from Nagato's mouth and down along his legs inside his pant legs, making the blood pool below even thicker.

"Muda," Nagato said softly, mocking Asakura’s constant “Futile”, then grabbed onto the wide tentacles. Nothing happened at that moment.

"Eh?" Asakura said, sounding as though he'd won. "Tch... Are you just that self-centered as to get in a meaningless last word thinking you’re about to turn the tables?"

"The tables are turning... If you were human, you would repent for your unorthodox actions in Hell. Yet..." said a seriously wounded Nagato, as though nothing had happened to him, "You are merely a program with an organic interface; you shall exist without a body... Commencing data interface disconnection. EXECUTE."

Almost instantly, everything in the classroom began glowing brightly, and then crystallized and dissolved within the next second, the desk beside me also turned into sand and collapsed.

"I was... careless?"

Crystallized sand fell from the ceiling nonstop, this time it is Asakura's turn to be stunned.

"I can’t fathom this, I overlooked a possibility."

Nagato's wounds closed up and his blood turned to clear liquid and evaporated as he said,

"It took me quite some time to penetrate the program. But, everything will end now."

"...You had already planted destructive factors around long before I penetrated this area, didn't you? No wonder you seemed weaker. It was because you used up your attacking data beforehand..." Asakura said despondently as his arms began to crystallize.

"Sigh, it's such a pity, after all I'm just backup. I thought this would be a chance to break free from this everlasting deadlock."

Asakura reverted back to his normal classmate self and looked at me cheerfully.

"Heh… well well... It was fun, but I lost. It's good for you that you can survive now. But you'd better be careful, the Integrated Data Entity isn't as united as you think, there are quite a number like me with dissenting opinions. It's just like humans; there will be extremists like me next time. And who knows, even those who control Nagato-san might change their thinking and turn to kill you instead. Don’t think that that’ll be unlikely."

He's now covered from chest to toe by the glowing crystallized substance.
"Before that happens, I wish you and Suzumiya-san the best of luck. Farewell. Also, I’m secretly cheering you on."

Erm… whatever that meant… haha... Why am I blushing?

While saying that, Asakura silently dissolved into small sandy dunes. And then, the smaller crystallized sand dunes continued to dissolve until they completely vanished.

Under a rain of crystallized sand, the high school student known as Asakura Ryo vanished completely from this school.

There was a loud thud, suddenly. I was quick to find Nagato lying on the floor, so I frantically got up.

"Nagato-kun! Hang in there! I'll call an ambulance!"

"There is no need."

Nagato glanced at the ceiling with his usual half-open eyes.

"Physical damage is obsolete to me. Our priority is to restore this area of space back to its original state."

The sand crystals around stopped falling...

"Removing impure substances, reconstructing classroom..."

As he finished, the familiar 1-5 classroom reappeared before our eyes. It was like a tape rewinding: everything in the room reverted to the way it had been before.

The blackboard, the teacher's desk, the remaining chairs and desks all grew from the white sand and back to their original form as I had seen before school ended today. I can't describe what was going through my mind then. If I had not seen it with my own eyes, I would've thought all these images were made with state-of-the-art CG special effects.

Windows grew from the walls, with the half-stained glasses intact; the sunset reappeared outside, bathing me and Nagato in an orange-red light. I tried looking inside my desk drawers, all the contents were still there intact, and all the blood that had spattered onto my face had now completely disappeared. This was too amazing. I could only describe it as magic!

"Are you sure you’re okay?"

I knelt beside Nagato who remained lying on the floor. All of the many wounds and holes in his uniform from being impaled by those spears were all gone now.

"As processing power has been converted into data operation, I have just reversed the linking interface for a short while."

Nagato sat up and put his index finger up to the bridge of his nose to push up his glasses, but they weren’t there.

"I forgot to reintegrate my glasses."

"You don’t have to... I actually think… you look kinda cute without ‘em."

I averted my gaze and blushed after I said this while he only said “Hm.” When I looked back, his finger was pushing up a set of glasses.

“…I’d prefer wearing them.”

I got annoyed at this and crossed my arms while I closed my eyes and turned my head the other way with a pouting face.

“W-Well fine then... It’s not like it was a request!”

Nagato then turned at me, suddenly with no glasses, and said,

“If you prefer it so much, then I won’t wear them.”

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hug him or strangle myself when I blushed harder all of a sudden. This strange feeling...

[Kagedanji]

So now that I re-edited all of my stuff, can my works under my name in the archive post be cleared out and replaced with these?

The Day of Saggitarius, Challenge - http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...postcount=9428
The Day of Saggitarius, Battle - http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...postcount=9433
Asakura Ryo's Assault - http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...postcount=9476

[ShinyaKyoto]

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

[Kagedanji]

You messed up your tags.

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by Kagedanji

So now that I re-edited all of my stuff, can my works under my name in the archive post be cleared out and replaced with these?

The Day of Saggitarius, Challenge - http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...postcount=9428
The Day of Saggitarius, Battle - http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...postcount=9433
Asakura Ryo's Assault - http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...postcount=9476

Done, more or less.