Dating

[Gamer_2k4]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

Another question If you found that your partner was (not exactly cheating) flirting with a girl behind your back, you asked about her but he didn't tell, you confronted him, you expected him to be honest/straightforward with you so you could forgive him and move on. But unexpectedly, he's denying it at all costs. You lost to him verbally Would you just cut him loose?

Absolutely not. Right now it's his word against yours, and until you have solid evidence that he's doing that sort of thing (I assume "found out" means "a friend told me"; if it was texts or something, he wouldn't be able to deny it), you're just being the worst sort of girlfriend: the type who stays angry at someone for something he didn't do.

Think about it. If you break up with him, you're essentially saying, "I don't trust you enough to be honest with me, and I'd rather go with my gut than believe what you're saying." If he says he wasn't flirting, accept that he wasn't flirting and move on. Rather than looking for opportunities to convict your boyfriend, you should trust that he'll stay faithful until you're absolutely positive otherwise.

As a side note, why do so many people think fervent denial equates to absolute guilt? Isn't it possible someone is denying something because, I don't know, they didn't do it?

[Hippo]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

Another question If you found that your partner was (not exactly cheating) flirting with a girl behind your back, you asked about her but he didn't tell, you confronted him, you expected him to be honest/straightforward with you so you could forgive him and move on. But unexpectedly, he's denying it at all costs. You lost to him verbally Would you just cut him loose?

Absolutely not, 'flirting' can be a metter of opinion. Some people are naturally very flirty and may be seen as flirting with someone when they aren't. Flirting by itself isn't so bad, it would be an overreaction to break up over it unless there is a lot more to the story.

[Tenken's Smile]

"Gamer," I myself don't believe (let alone rely on ) words from other people. Let's say you had solid evidence, and he still found ways to deny it.

[NoemiChan]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

If you found that your partner was (not exactly cheating) flirting with a girl behind your back, you asked about her but he didn't tell, you confronted him, you expected him to be honest/straightforward with you so you could forgive him and move on. But unexpectedly, he's denying it at all costs. You lost to him verbally Would you just cut him loose?

PS: Let's say you had solid evidence.

Dump him/her....It'll happen again.

[solomon]

You know it's REALLY HARD to give advice on this cause we'd have to see it. Everyone has their own picture and everyone has a different gague if you will. Easy there.

(to lighten the mood)
also I have to ask is love really like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOo8aBv2tEI

[Tenken's Smile]

A question for men :

Your best female friend VS. your girlfriend

Which is more important? Would you satisfy your girlfriend's needs first or your best friend's?

[Gamer_2k4]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

A question for men :

Your best female friend VS. your girlfriend

What's the question?

[Tenken's Smile]

Sorry, post edited

[Who]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

A question for men :

Your best female friend VS. your girlfriend

Which is more important? Would you satisfy your girlfriend's needs first or your best friend's?

Really depends on the context. Girlfriend is pretty much a bestie with added bonuses. Most scenarios, I would prioritize my girlfriend over the female bestie. Very tricky though, speaking in a general sense. Like if both had a really bad day, girlfriend does come first. If I could get away with it though, I would set both of them up to talk about it while I go do my thing.

[solomon]

I'd agree with that judgement.

[Gamer_2k4]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

Your best female friend VS. your girlfriend

Which is more important? Would you satisfy your girlfriend's needs first or your best friend's?

Girlfriend's, obviously. As far as the difference goes, my best female friend is attractive and nice and likes a lot of the things I do, but her values, goals, and deeper personality ("issues," if you will) are completely at odds with what I'm looking for in a girlfriend. My girlfriend has all of the latter things, so while she may not quite be a knockout appearance-wise, I'd take her over my best female friend any day.

[HasuMasu]

Those two would be one and the same in my case.

[Kafriel]

Originally Posted by Tenken's Smile

A question for men :

Your best female friend VS. your girlfriend

Which is more important? Would you satisfy your girlfriend's needs first or your best friend's?

Speaking of needs, a girlfriend has needs that only you can satisfy. Your best friend can find satisfaction within your common social circle, although it would really help if you were part of it as well. I've never been in this kind of situation, in my case I prioritize based on time - the early bird gets the worm, so if one or the other made plans first, she'll be the one I occupy.

[Gamer_2k4]

Originally Posted by Kafriel

Speaking of needs, a girlfriend has needs that only you can satisfy.

And this is EXACTLY the reason my best female friend isn't my girlfriend. Let someone else handle those needs.

[Hera]

Share your thoughts:
A lot of men, before courting a girl, usually ask, "Do you have a bf?" and if she answers "yes," they give up on her or try to forget her. The way I see it, giving up in this case is not a noble act but only confirms that their "love" for her is NOT true love, or not strong enough. To me, "noble" is when you accept your lover for who they are, both strengths and weaknesses.
If she is married, then that's a different story..lol
But for the dating stage, I personally believe that if you loves someone, Prove it. There's no such thing as "I sacrifice my happiness so you can be with him". Don't give up at the sight of a love rival.
If you've lost or been owned badly by the rival, then it's time to give up, yes.

On the other hand, some people think that you can be happy just by watching your love interest being happy; only selfish men would continue pursuing taken women.
What's your take?

[Kafriel]

On the other hand, some people think that you can be happy just by watching your love interest being happy; only selfish men would continue pursuing taken women.
What's your take?

The most frequent question that guys find themselves asking is, what if? You can regret your actions either way, one is the pain of knowing that you've lost your chance to do something and may never get another shot; the other is the burden of your actions, aware that she's probably stuck with you for the rest of her life. As for which one is worse...that is for you to ponder.

[Hera]

Originally Posted by Kafriel

the other is the burden of your actions, aware that she's probably stuck with you for the rest of her life.

don't quite get this. Clarify please?
if you meant 'stuck with you but not happy', then that's not what I was talking about at all. I didn't say you don't give her a choice but until she's made her final decision, you shouldn't give up on her.

[ChainLegacy]

Originally Posted by Hera

Share your thoughts:
A lot of men, before courting a girl, usually ask, "Do you have a bf?" and if she answers "yes," they give up on her or try to forget her. The way I see it, giving up in this case is not a noble act but only confirms that their "love" for her is NOT true love, or not strong enough. To me, "noble" is when you accept your lover for who they are, both strengths and weaknesses.
If she is married, then that's a different story..lol
But for the dating stage, I personally believe that if you loves someone, Prove it. There's no such thing as "I sacrifice my happiness so you can be with him". Don't give up at the sight of a love rival.
If you've lost or been owned badly by the rival, then it's time to give up, yes.

On the other hand, some people think that you can be happy just by watching your love interest being happy; only selfish men would continue pursuing taken women.
What's your take?

It's an organic, emotional process to develop feelings for someone. If you're just getting to know someone, and don't even know this person well enough to have the knowledge whether or not they're single; you probably haven't developed very firm feelings either way, and if you have, it's just infatuation and certainly not the type of feeling you could call love.

[Hera]

I phrased it badly, I think.. let's say you know her well enough to know whether she's single.

[Gamer_2k4]

Originally Posted by Hera

On the other hand, some people think that you can be happy just by watching your love interest being happy; only selfish men would continue pursuing taken women.
What's your take?

What are you doing chasing after taken women? All you're doing is saying, "Gee, this seems like the kind of girl that will drop her boyfriend as soon as someone better comes along."

Is that really what you want?