The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[xkazex]

wow hikari, that's quite the age range there. The most shocking factor would be forty-two and above H-cup, wait does it even go pass F-cup in standards?

DFC Kyonko, unbeatable!!

[Discreet]

Why don't you take a seat and stop going off topic?

With the exception of Kaisos who did stuff.

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

The Kamigahara Pirates are real. Should we genderbend them too?

Didn't we discuss this before?

No exceptions.

And I should be able to get an edit up this weekend as well.

[vivify93]

Originally Posted by xkazex

so many pedophiles, young children who step in this thread should be cautious.. real cautious

Thank God I'm most likely out of that age range and male

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Discreet

Didn't we discuss this before?

No exceptions.

And I should be able to get an edit up this weekend as well.

Yeah, but does that apply to real people?

Are we going to have to genderbend Freud and Carl Jung too? What about Doraemon?

The whole "no exceptions" thing should only apply to Haruhi characters... real people and characters from other series should not be touched.

Any other opinions?

[Nanao-kun]

Originally Posted by xkazex

wait does it even go pass F-cup in standards?

It does in manga. IRL, D-cup or smaller for me.

EDIT: No matter how many times I look at it, I love my Kyonko avatar.

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

Spoiler for Minor technicality:

The actual team is the Uegahara Pirates. As a result, we should be able to consider the Kamigahara Pirates to be under the same classification as, say, ENOZ. Who we might or might not even be including, which could render this entire point moot.

Of course, this is really just idle musing, so whether or not it's actually considered...

[otai]

Who says this place is dead. Its just that we, well, yeah...

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Yeah, but does that apply to real people?

Are we going to have to genderbend Freud and Carl Jung too? What about Doraemon?

The whole "no exceptions" thing should only apply to Haruhi characters... real people and characters from other series should not be touched.

Any other opinions?

A female softball team from the same university with a similar name isn't that far a stretch.

Don't forget the cat. Technically, it's not a character, but a prop to show haruki's weirdness. In this light, it's probably acceptable to keep it male.

[Ithekro]

I believe the "no exceptions" policy was for those appearing in the story, not those referenced by the characters (especially Kyon's mental wonderings. It gets too weird and unnecessary at that point).

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

The random people in the movie also fit into the same category as Shamisen. They're more or less moving props, with some of them being given voices and even names.



Also: It's good to see that the days where multiple pages are added have returned. I look forward to reading ten to twenty pages of backlog when I inevitably have to depart for an undisclosed amount of time.

[Ithekro]

So Genderbent ENOZ would be what, like JAM Project or the Alfee in High School with Haruki blasting away at the crowd like he's the lead singer from Fire Bomber?

[unmoldedtruck]

Originally Posted by Roger Rambo

It's not really pedophilia if the girls have hit puberty. During the middle ages girls that age would get married off.

I'm most attracted to the 11 to 14 range. I don't like the middle ages argument much, the standard response is that we're above that now. I'm just completely unapologetic.

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

I have my own moral boundaries that I don't cross. Still won't keep me out of prison.

Morals?

Originally Posted by HikariNiwa

Well, if you want the full truth, I prefer females ages six to forty-two, from DFC to an H-cup (possibly larger). Of course, that all becomes worthless if she's ugly. (And it has to be within the realm of manga)

Basically, Roger Rambo's discipline was actually quite appealing to me.

But not to worry Beanbag-sama, I still prefer DFC Kyonko over all others!

Originally Posted by xkazex

wow hikari, that's quite the age range there. The most shocking factor would be forty-two and above H-cup, wait does it even go pass F-cup in standards?

DFC Kyonko, unbeatable!!

I'm declaring myself the leader of the DFC Kyonko faction.

[Discreet]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Yeah, but does that apply to real people?

Are we going to have to genderbend Freud and Carl Jung too? What about Doraemon?

The whole "no exceptions" thing should only apply to Haruhi characters... real people and characters from other series should not be touched.

Any other opinions?

Oh well, if that's what you meant, then no, we're not going to change any real person's gender, especially Freud's gender. And I don't want to imagine what kind of psychoanalytic crap he could say about this entire genderbending project or beanbag's pedophilia. the lolicons it attracts.

[Ithekro]

11 - 14

You do know that is when most teachers consider their students to be inhuman.

[dkellis]

Originally Posted by Discreet

Write me a story where Itsuko tries in her ever so cheerful tone to solicit Haruki's/Kyonko's affection. And predictably, it ends with dismal results, but Itsuko continues her bright facade while she just dies a little on the inside.

Of course, I have no real authority to do this, but I demand it of you because I WANT IT.

Spoiler for late and short:

Asahina-senpai had some sort of class activities of his own, and Nagato-san was doing his usual statue impression in the corner, so the only person who greeted me when I walked into the hijacked Literature clubroom was Itsuko. She was busy writing an essay or something on surprisingly flowery stationery, which she quickly folded up and put away on my arrival. You don't have to do that, I'm not interested in whatever secret reports you're making to your Organization anyway.

"Where's that idiot?" I asked, putting my bag onto the table and sinking into a chair. Already I miss Asahina-senpai's delicious tea served with a smile.

"Suzumiya-san mentioned that he had a terrific idea in our prospective search for UMAs this weekend," Itsuko said. "No doubt he will be back with further elaboration soon enough."

"Why does that give me such a bad feeling?"

"Perhaps you are more perceptive than you appear."

I think I was just insulted.

"I meant no offense, I assure you," Itsuko said with a laugh. "I apologize if I conveyed that impression. You have a firm grasp on Suzumiya-san's moods and habits, probably due to our extended association in the SOS Brigade."

"There's nothing impressive about that. Haruki's so easy to read it's embarrassing."

Itsuko revealed her white teeth. "There is merit in being straightforward, I feel."

"If that's the case, then why don't you tell Haruki straightforwardly what you think about his plans? Every time he comes up with something, all of us have to run around doing stupid and pointless stuff. It's tiring and annoying."

"It does keep him entertained, though." Itsuko spread her hands. "After all, if Suzumiya-san feels that the world is not as interesting as he desires it to be, a lot of trouble will be created for my colleagues and I, not to mention Nagato-san and Asahina-san's superiors. Compared to that, everything we have experienced is a small price to pay for stability, especially when it is so willingly given."

"That doesn't mean you have to keep agreeing to everything Haruki says. Why don't you ever stand up to him?"

Itsuko's smile remained fixed in place. "All of us have our parts to play, and it is unwise for the actress to step outside her given role, for fear of bringing the show to a sudden and disastrous halt."

"... sorry, but I don't get what you mean."

"Possibly it is just as well. You have noticed that Suzumiya-san places a great deal of weight in what you say, yes? If anyone in the SOS Brigade is able to influence his actions, you would be the most suitable choice."

Like I've said before, I'm not the messenger between the real world and the fantasy painting in Haruki's head. "You keep reinforcing Haruki's ideas anyway. If you disagreed with him once in a while, I'm sure that Haruki will listen, if only for the novelty factor."

Another laugh. "I'm afraid that you are mistaken. Suzumiya-san does not, unfortunately, give my words due consideration. He may treat them as a sort of white background noise; alternately, his straightforward nature does not let him understand the true meaning behind the message."

Itsuko, was that just the tiniest hint of frustration I hear in your tone? "Why don't you take the direct approach with him, then? Stop talking in riddles. Tell him what you really feel."

"That is impossible. All of us have our own parts to play."

See, you're talking in riddles again.

"It is the best I can do to blur the edges of my role," Itsuko said. "One day, we may be able to approach each other as honestly as we like, free of the necessity for charades, but until then, all I can do is wish you luck."

"Wish me luck? For what?"

"In performing your own part, in your role that is not a role." Itsuko smiled at me again. "And for being the only one Suzumiya-san truly listens to."

What a weird girl.

[kai_chokagi]

Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum. I'm not exactly a "writter" type of person. But i think i can give you guys a fresh idea about the stories. I hope i can be of any help to you guys. I'm sorry about my english.

[unmoldedtruck]

Originally Posted by Ithekro

11 - 14

You do know that is when most teachers consider their students to be inhuman.

It is? I'm fairly clueless about the American school system below college.

[xkazex]

The middle school age range, I will have to agree with that. It was like a manifestation of monstrosity. Bet you didn't get beaten up by 7 year old kids at daycare centers.

@kaios Nicely written

[Cat Megex]

Originally Posted by kai_chokagi

Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum. I'm not exactly a "writter" type of person. But i think i can give you guys a fresh idea about the stories. I hope i can be of any help to you guys. I'm sorry about my english.

WELCOME. YOUR IDEAS SHALL SERVE HARUKI WELL (ESPECIALLY IF THEY INVOLVE POTENTIAL MITSUURU COSPLAYS).

<<ignore this text>>

[Discreet]

Originally Posted by dkellis

Spoiler for late and short:

Asahina-senpai had some sort of class activities of his own, and Nagato-san was doing his usual statue impression in the corner, so the only person who greeted me when I walked into the hijacked Literature clubroom was Itsuko. She was busy writing an essay or something on surprisingly flowery stationery, which she quickly folded up and put away on my arrival. You don't have to do that, I'm not interested in whatever secret reports you're making to your Organization anyway.

"Where's that idiot?" I asked, putting my bag onto the table and sinking into a chair. Already I miss Asahina-senpai's delicious tea served with a smile.

"Suzumiya-san mentioned that he had a terrific idea in our prospective search for UMAs this weekend," Itsuko said. "No doubt he will be back with further elaboration soon enough."

"Why does that give me such a bad feeling?"

"Perhaps you are more perceptive than you appear."

I think I was just insulted.

"I meant no offense, I assure you," Itsuko said with a laugh. "I apologize if I conveyed that impression. You have a firm grasp on Suzumiya-san's moods and habits, probably due to our extended association in the SOS Brigade."

"There's nothing impressive about that. Haruki's so easy to read it's embarrassing."

Itsuko revealed her white teeth. "There is merit in being straightforward, I feel."

"If that's the case, then why don't you tell Haruki straightforwardly what you think about his plans? Every time he comes up with something, all of us have to run around doing stupid and pointless stuff. It's tiring and annoying."

"It does keep him entertained, though." Itsuko spread her hands. "After all, if Suzumiya-san feels that the world is not as interesting as he desires it to be, a lot of trouble will be created for my colleagues and I, not to mention Nagato-san and Asahina-san's superiors. Compared to that, everything we have experienced is a small price to pay for stability, especially when it is so willingly given."

"That doesn't mean you have to keep agreeing to everything Haruki says. Why don't you ever stand up to him?"

Itsuko's smile remained fixed in place. "All of us have our parts to play, and it is unwise for the actress to step outside her given role, for fear of bringing the show to a sudden and disastrous halt."

"... sorry, but I don't get what you mean."

"Possibly it is just as well. You have noticed that Suzumiya-san places a great deal of weight in what you say, yes? If anyone in the SOS Brigade is able to influence his actions, you would be the most suitable choice."

Like I've said before, I'm not the messenger between the real world and the fantasy painting in Haruki's head. "You keep reinforcing Haruki's ideas anyway. If you disagreed with him once in a while, I'm sure that Haruki will listen, if only for the novelty factor."

Another laugh. "I'm afraid that you are mistaken. Suzumiya-san does not, unfortunately, give my words due consideration. He may treat them as a sort of white background noise; alternately, his straightforward nature does not let him understand the true meaning behind the message."

Itsuko, was that just the tiniest hint of frustration I hear in your tone? "Why don't you take the direct approach with him, then? Stop talking in riddles. Tell him what you really feel."

"That is impossible. All of us have our own parts to play."

See, you're talking in riddles again.

"It is the best I can do to blur the edges of my role," Itsuko said. "One day, we may be able to approach each other as honestly as we like, free of the necessity for charades, but until then, all I can do is wish you luck."

"Wish me luck? For what?"

"In performing your own part, in your role that is not a role." Itsuko smiled at me again. "And for being the only one Suzumiya-san truly listens to."

What a weird girl.

I am crying tears of joy and sadness.

Fight on, Itsuko!

[ClockWorkAngel]

I wonder, Koizumi never actually refers to Kyon as Kyon did he? I wonder what Itsuko would refer Kyonko as?