2009-01-25, 23:22 | Link #12101 | |
The Dang-meister
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In terms of in relation to their pre-established personalities in the series, I think they are not even in-character. Fate wouldn't be that outgoing, although she does have a series side as we've seen in StrikerS, which you have down fine. But she's most definitely not out going. As for Nanoha, I have to rewatch the series to really make a comment on her XD
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2009-01-26, 05:29 | Link #12102 | |
Loveable Jerk
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2009-01-26, 13:25 | Link #12103 |
The Interstellar Medium
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: [SWE]
Age: 35
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Voting for The Machinator, on my part.
If there was something that caught my mind, it was the use of storytelling. It was more like the voice telling the events was there, involving himself in the events. Either I got confused on some parts or it was that good blended in. For other aspects, a good source to gather more gore inspiration from. I'm still struggling with vocabulary and I saw a few words I can bend that I didn't know about, to evolve a bit. Love the fight scenes, filled with power. I'm beginning to see the talk about Noland being thrown around here Some points did confuse me though, things I have learned never to do myself, as for example including screaming or the like as dialogue. As you've certainly seen from IRC, I do not hold hard on grammar rules and want more freedom myself plus I tend to be flexible. For my part, the use of grammar and words were no problem at all and just added to the events and feeling. Also glad to see Chrono and Yuuno being awesome :3 Feel like I have something more to say, but can't think of anything more right now than: Want more delicious gore stories.
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2009-01-26, 13:42 | Link #12104 | |||
NERV Personnel
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And don't go blaming the Stargate, either. It can't argue back |
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2009-01-26, 14:13 | Link #12108 | |||
Loveable Jerk
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O’Neil: I knew it was magnet behind it all along! Shut up.
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2009-01-26, 15:28 | Link #12115 | |
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
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B for Fate seems the only possibility now, otherwise we should be missing part of the story. Anyway it seems like I forgot who was Hayate in this fic. She appeared before this chapter, right? Was she a Nanoha's friend? Cuídense y sigan sonriendo |
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2009-01-26, 15:48 | Link #12117 |
Adeptus Animus
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Age: 36
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Keine'Thuzad is happy to say that you're wrong.
Yes, that's a genderbent Kel'Thuzad, yes she is claimed for OC purposes. |
2009-01-26, 15:55 | Link #12118 | |
NERV Personnel
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Wait...what? Claimed for...OC? The hell? |
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2009-01-26, 15:58 | Link #12119 | |
Σ(。д°(o--(ಠ益ಠ )
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Hotsprings Resort
Age: 38
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Keine-sensei... what happened? ;__;
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authorshipping, befriending, fanfiction, interactive fanfiction, nanoha |
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