Gay Marriage and other problems homosexuals face

[cheyannew]

Hmm; I find it interesting (and mean no offense) when someone says "I have gay friends" and yet in the same breath says "keep gay marriage away from me" and that they cannot handle PDAs. Do you handle heterosexual PDAs alright?

How is it respecting your gay "friends" to not treat them with the same courtesy?

If one of these gay friends was to be able to get married, would you decline on attending because you don't actually support gay marriage? Because you don't want to see them kiss, enjoy one another's company, and celebrate their new life together?

Now, dont' get me wrong, I'm not hating on you; we were discussing double standards and the like a bit ago, and this rather strikes me as one. Do your gay acquaintances know how you feel about their rights and lifestyle? If so, and they're ok with it, more power to them, it just strikes me as curious. I do not think I would hang around with anyone who would accept me so long as I am kissing my husband, but were I to go to kiss my girlfriend, things are suddenly different, y'know?

Also, for a girl to choose another girl instead of you is not YOU.. they just wanted the company of another girl. Never understood why people seem to take offense to that.. We are who we are; no reason to take offense when a homosexual (or bisexual/pansexual/whatever) chooses someone of their own gender any more than a hoomosexual should be offended if someone they like chooses someone of the opposite gender

Originally Posted by Magin

Do me a huge favor though, and keep these types of marriages far away from me.

First and foremost, I have nothing against the people themselves, at least any more. I have a few good friends who are gay. But still, to quote an old friend of mine, "I believe in Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve"

Now, a good part of this, as syn has mentioned, is the squick/EWW GROSS factor. I'll admit it right here, any form of those kind of PDA's make me immediately turn around and walk the other way. This might seem very childish/immature, but, as I've learned... it's a psychological thing, and I'm not sure how many people realize just how much ideas (such as the squick factor) that are deeply embedded in one's psyche affect decisions dealing with this kind of thing. No matter the source... as long as it's in the psyche, your decisions will be affected by it. Of course, there are always ways to overcome this stuff, but very few people even want to try. For them, it's a case of, "it's been planted in my mind and I ain't changing it."

So for the other part of the argument that people try to throw out... being a guy, some will go "okay, since you're straight, I can see why you're against guys. But what about the idea of two smokin' girls getting it on?" To which I can honestly answer... that too is under the EWW GROSS factor for yours truly. The short version is this: I was the guy (okay, a nerd) that could never get a date. So, for a girl to choose another girl over a guy such as myself... that idea pissed me off, and has since simply turned into a turn-off. Having grown a few years, I have nothing against lesbians (or gays), but that idea is still deep enough in my psyche that I've never been exactly able to get over it.

So I guess the short version is that when I was younger, I undoubtedly was a homophobe, but in the years that have gone by... I've gained an open mind and changed a lot of my opinions, but there are still some things that I've never 100% gotten over and probably never will. Just my two cents.

[Magin]

I'll be quite frank here: most of those who I know who are gay, I never actually see very much beyond holding hands with them... the guy who's a good friend of mine, I never actually see him do anything with another guy; it's actually a case of he just simple tells me about it later on, though never graphically. As for PDA's... I don't think I've personally ever seen a homosexual one, at least in RL. The only problem is, a couple years ago I saw a propaganda video about homo vs. hetero marriage, and they had the gays one there getting passionate; i.e. making out. Now, even with hetero couples, I turn away and say, "okay, let me get out of here and you two go find a room to have fun in." That video... it managed to burn my mind. For simple pecks for either homo or hetero, I'm relatively tolerant: I can put up with it, though I generally end up rolling my eyes and thinking to myself, "okay, I don't need to see any more of this" (and in the case of heteros, considering I'm single, I also follow with "before I get jealous")

As for the girl on girl stuff... keep in mind this is from a time when I'd never had a girlfriend, and wanted one badly, and a good-looking lady is always a plus. So, for her to swing to the other side was a case of "dammit, now I definitely can't have her." By this point in time, I've had a girlfriend... back to being single though... and at the job I've had, I've learned tons of patience and tolerance, and even have the fortune of the lesbians I work with being girls I'm not interested in in the first place. Still, because of my old high school days (which even after five years I've never truly gotten over), there are still irks here and there that remain.

[Urzu 7]

Question: what does PDA stand for?

Originally Posted by Magin

The only problem is, a couple years ago I saw a propaganda video about homo vs. hetero marriage, and they had the gays one there getting passionate; i.e. making out.

I'd like to know, was the video anti-gay, or pro-gay? I have a guess, an assumption, but before I give my 2 cents on an assumption, I should get more info from you.


Also, you shouldn't let an "ew, gross" factor leave you feeling that gay marraige isn't acceptable. There are so many ugly hetero couples that get intimite and sexaul together, afterall. It could be two old people in their mid 70s, or a redneck couple, both fat, with greasy hair, and looks that would make you say "damn, they must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!". There is an "ew, gross" thing for ugly, undesirable hetero couples. If you were to be against gay marraige based on that, should you be against marraige for hetero couples who are ugly and gross you out?

[synaesthetic]

I'm not even going to beef with people over being squicked out by homosexual PDA. I'm squicked out by any PDA! Seriously, if it bugs you it bugs you, and it's nice to see a person who isn't hypocritical about it, jerking off to lesbian porn while saying, "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."

Just don't force your beliefs on other people and we're good.

That said, I would not choose to be friends with someone who was squicked out by my sexual orientation. If a person is disgusted by gay folks, they pretty much do not qualify as potential companions for me.

Edit: PDA stands for "public display of affection" but I don't consider a quick kiss or hug to be PDA. When I think of PDA, I think of making out and heavy petting, lol.

[Magin]

Originally Posted by Urzu 7

Question: what does PDA stand for?



I'd like to know, was the video anti-gay, or pro-gay? I have a guess, an assumption, but before I give my 2 cents on an assumption, I should get more info from you.


Also, you shouldn't let an "ew, gross" factor leave you feeling that gay marraige isn't acceptable. There are so many ugly hetero couples that get intimite and sexaul together, afterall. It could be two old people in their mid 70s, or a redneck couple, both fat, with greasy hair, and looks that would make you say "damn, they must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!". There is an "ew, gross" thing for ugly, undesirable hetero couples. If you were to be against gay marraige based on that, should you be against marraige for hetero couples who are ugly and gross you out?

If I'm remembering right, it was actually pro-gay... it was using the old "oh, because it's against the Bible, it cannot happen" line. Basically, there was a judge who was with all these married couples, and then pronouncing them as unacceptable by "traditional Bible standards"; i.e. one couple had sex before marriage, another was an interracial couple, etc... then it cut away to something like "all these marriages are against the Bible but still happen, so why not let there be gay marriages as well?"... and at that point it showed all the homo couples doing their stuff, and considering how much I get squicked with even hetero couples doing that stuff... well, needless to say, that broke my mind

and this is going to be sad but, with the less-than-appealing couples, I think to myself "okay... so how the hell did this marriage/relationship happen?"

[synaesthetic]

Really, even if you live in France, people usually don't start making out and dry-humping on the bus.

I think someone doth protest too much.

[Vexx]

Frankly, I'm not fond of PDAs between *any* two people, hetero or otherwise. Holding hands, light kiss, no prob.... otherwise please get a room

I was chaperoning a school band trip once and we had to have the PDA discussion as part of the rules. Basically, my wife and I threatened to demonstrate with our own PDA-overload if we caught anyone. Nothing like 50 wide pairs of eyes visualizing what we threatened (parental snogging). No problems on that trip. OTOH, we treated the students like adults if they *acted* like adults so I was fine with the ferret-piles and lap-sitting, hand holding, hugs, and other wotnot.

edit: I did have someone later ask... "she's so short and you're so tall, purely out of academic interest and all..."

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Vexx

edit: I did have someone later ask... "she's so short and you're so tall, purely out of academic interest and all..."

You know, actually, kid's got a point. Purely out of academic interest and all...

[Magin]

Lmfao!

Purely out of academic interest and all.... riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

*continues to crack up over that line*

[Vexx]

The band student was also on the debate team I coached and we had a long habit of comedic banter with each other. Funny guy

(for those readers unaware, wife is 4'10",95lb Japanese-American, me is 6'0, 195lb Euro-32flavors - a height difference they used to call "Mutt'n'Jeff").

[Urzu 7]

Originally Posted by Vexx

edit: I did have someone later ask... "she's so short and you're so tall, purely out of academic interest and all..."

I'm not really sure what he was asking. How you two kiss?

[cheyannew]

Well, folks... I get to put my money where my mouth is, now...

My daughter (11, mind you) comes to me on the next to last day of school and says "Mom, there's a girl in my class I like, should I tell her?"

*blink*


Well, hello left field, I was unaware she liked anyone, she mentioned also kind of liking a boy, but this girl is very kind and pretty and fun to be around.
Now, she knows full well about my lifestyle, supports it 100% and my gf adores her and vice versa. So, she knows well what bisexual is, and hubby and I've always made it clear no matter the choices they make in life we'll support them, so long as it's not harmful to themselves or others (no mass murdering tyvm).

So, while part of me says "Well she's too young", the other part of me has to remember that she's grown up in a very unconventional family, is far too intelligent for her age, and while she may LOOK like an 8 year old thanks to her Japanese blood, she's not quite a little girl anymore, she's almost a teen.

I explained to her that at this age, it is not a good idea to tell the girl she likes her, because in this area (no offense to anyone) the Latinos tend to be very closedminded (those kids're the ones who call my son a fag and tranny for his long hair). Therefore, it would probably turn out very badly. I suggested she concentrate on the transition from elementary school to middle school (5th to 6th grade) instead, and then maybe 7th or 8th grade, if she still feels the same, then we'll revisit the subject, but to feel free to come to me if she has questions or just wants to talk. I just don't feel comfy with her "dating" (chaperoned) until at least 7th grade, straight, bi, gay or whatever, makes no nevermind.

So here's where we find out if all my "preaching" and so on on here applies to my own life! haha

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by cheyannew

Well, folks... I get to put my money where my mouth is, now...

My daughter (11, mind you) comes to me on the next to last day of school and says "Mom, there's a girl in my class I like, should I tell her?"

*blink*


Well, hello left field, I was unaware she liked anyone, she mentioned also kind of liking a boy, but this girl is very kind and pretty and fun to be around.

Out of curiosity, what went through your head? Was it purely surprise that she liked anyone, or was it surprise that she liked a girl?

[Magin]

Chey, I'd say you gave her the best advice possible... especially since she's just around puberty, and I'm sure we all remember how much fun that was... i.e., hormones raging and we think we know what we're after when we really don't. Either that, or I'm just being old-school.

[synaesthetic]

You're not being oldschool. Teenagers are universally idiots. I think it's natural.

[Vexx]

Originally Posted by Urzu 7

I'm not really sure what he was asking. How you two kiss?

Well.. a quick peck isn't hard... but seriously snogging requires some creativity.

(yes, typically she'll just sit in my lap)

[synaesthetic]

Originally Posted by Vexx

Well.. a quick peck isn't hard... but seriously snogging requires some creativity.

I'm 5' 11" and my fiancee is 5' 2"... we have this problem too, but not quite as badly. "Serious snogging" requires that we be sitting down (or laying down).

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Vexx

Well.. a quick peck isn't hard... but seriously snogging requires some creativity.

Or, as in my case, looking forward to a future of chronic back pains.

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Ascaloth

Or, as in my case, looking forward to a future of chronic back pains.

See, this is why I married a man who's only 5'6 (I'm 5'5) and am dating a woman who's only 5'5-5'6... I like being eye level with my mates LOL

[cheyannew]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

Out of curiosity, what went through your head? Was it purely surprise that she liked anyone, or was it surprise that she liked a girl?

It was more a surprise that she'd reached that point in life of liking someone.. her liking a girl bothers me absolutely none, and I can't say I'm surprised at all, after all, she's grown up with her mom being not only bi, but poly as well.. my kids've grown up thinking it's perfectly acceptable (although my son is adamant it's NOT for him lol) to practice an "alternative lifestyle".