Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Satashi]

@00-Raiser: the last part of the story seemed a bit off to me. considering this is a continuation of your last fic, where Vivio came on to him. After that discussion, why on earth would Vivio ever think that about Yuuno? Yuuno would know this as well, considering how he was there and all during the conversation with vivio.

I think its un needed drama with no foundation, personally. The only way I can see that coming into effect is something like a platonic date between Nanoha and Yuuno to set off Vivio's worry about her first(?) boyfriend and her learning to overcome her jealous and insecure feelings. After all, she would probably be very scared of Yuuno leaving her, seeing as how its first love. I think that would be a better situation than the whole Vivio replacing Nanoha scene. Don't place blame specifically on rumors, but rather Vivio's young insecure heart.

EDIT: Page claim for Vivio/Yuuno, and those two h doujins I found of them *halo*

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by Alavon

That made me wonder and did you really count them?

I did, sorta. The edges kinda get cut off by the screen, but I confirmed a 6 x 7 size box at least. That means at least 42, although there could be a bit more if the box contained another row or column off screen. It was in the last moments of episode 15.

And actually I just recounted. It's a 6x8 box, so at least 48 visible relics. That's a lot of shiny! (and not talking about a certain sword around here ;p )

[Alavon]

Originally Posted by Satashi

EDIT: Page claim for Vivio/Yuuno, and those two h doujins I found of them *halo*

Are you teasing us?

@Kaijo: Those ARE a lot of Shiny!

[TheShinySword]

Originally Posted by Alavon

Are you teasing us?

@Kaijo: Those ARE a lot of Shiny!

*blinks* huh what I-


...

*smacks Alavon around with the book she's currently reading (Attack of the Theater People btw)* Don't confused me by capitalizing the adjective shiny D: D:

Shesh I thought I was being cloned...

[Alavon]

Originally Posted by TheShinySword

*blinks* huh what I-


...

*smacks Alavon around with the book she's currently reading (Attack of the Theater People btw)* Don't confused me by capitalizing the adjective shiny D: D:

Shesh I thought I was being cloned...

So you DID catch my joke...sorry...couldn't help myself! But that was pretty quick...
But this way, I can have you and so can others!

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

I also get the feeling that my story isn't getting more reviews on ff.net, is because I haven't stated up front exactly what kind of pairings I am going for. So particular shippers tend to ignore it, or read with hesitation. I actually think it's kinda sad, when I just wanna tell a story. =(

That's actually my biggest concern for when I finally finish posting all the chapters for my fic "Bless the Broken Road" here and clean it up to put it on FF.net, because I don't plan to list any pairings up front. I don't want to do that, the story isn't about the pairings I've put in it, but I know it'll probably suffer if I don't since certain shippers will choose to just ignore it. On top of that, BtBR has its focus on a much more subtle take of NanoFate than the usual fic I read because that pairing isn't the major focus of the story.

I'm not overly worried about it, to be honest, but it's something I think about since I'm so close to the conclusion.

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Satashi

@00-Raiser: the last part of the story seemed a bit off to me. considering this is a continuation of your last fic, where Vivio came on to him. After that discussion, why on earth would Vivio ever think that about Yuuno? Yuuno would know this as well, considering how he was there and all during the conversation with vivio.

Well, maybe it'll work better when I show what it's leading up to. Of course Vivio wouldn't think that, and Yuuno knows it, but he's going to use it as a springboard and take the opportunity to make his feelings clear.

Originally Posted by Satashi

EDIT: Page claim for Vivio/Yuuno, and those two h doujins I found of them *halo*

Please tell me you have links!

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

Well, maybe it'll work better when I show what it's leading up to. Of course Vivio wouldn't think that, and Yuuno knows it, but he's going to use it as a springboard and take the opportunity to make his feelings clear.

Please tell me you have links!

no links, they arn't scanned. I'm talking to a friend in Japan I just met to see if I can get her to help me obtain some (about 7) doujinshi. A few NanoFate, and the rest are Vivio x others (Yuuno, Nanoha, ect)

Um...... I'll upload the sample pics to photobucket tonight sometime. PM me if you want them ^^

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Satashi

no links, they arn't scanned. I'm talking to a friend in Japan I just met to see if I can get her to help me obtain some (about 7) doujinshi. A few NanoFate, and the rest are Vivio x others (Yuuno, Nanoha, ect)

Um...... I'll upload the sample pics to photobucket tonight sometime. PM me if you want them ^^

I shall PM away!

Now that I've thought about it a little, I think that I'll just leave this fic at the sex topic, and then use your suggested premise for a separate fic, where I'll use the resolution I had in mind.

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by 00-Raiser

I shall PM away!

Now that I've thought about it a little, I think that I'll just leave this fic at the sex topic, and then use your suggested premise for a separate fic, where I'll use the resolution I had in mind.

I don't mind, but don't let yourself be influenced by me TOO much, or you'll lose your sense of self as an author :3

[00-Raiser]

Originally Posted by Satashi

I don't mind, but don't let yourself be influenced by me TOO much, or you'll lose your sense of self as an author :3

I was going to go with what I originally had planned at first, but then BAM an idea hit me and I decided it would work better. You're not influencing so much as making me re-think things and come up with more ideas, which is a good thing.

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

But while I agree with you in feeling that civvies should be shot(that's the kind of guy I am!), that's kinda a bad thing for a government to do to it's people.

It worked for Comrade Stalin, though.

[Tabasco]

And Pol Pot, for that matter.

But if those are the best references you can come up with for an idea, something, somewhere, went horribly wrong.

[Kaijo]

Originally Posted by Dark Knight Gafgar

It worked for Comrade Stalin, though.

Well, bad for the TSAB I should say, then. :P

[Dark Knight Gafgar]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Well, bad for the TSAB I should say, then. :P

Well, we all already know that once Hayate takes over the TSAB there's gonna be hammers and sickles everywhere (and don't forget the eight pointed stars), so might as well get an early start on the purges eh?

[MeisterBabylon]

If you are in Singapore, and you know about the Anime Festival Asia '09, here's a preview of things to come:

Spoiler for AFA09 Cosplay:

"Henshin."

Pardon the stupid phone camera resolution.

Be there. =3

[Sheba]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

That's actually my biggest concern for when I finally finish posting all the chapters for my fic "Bless the Broken Road" here and clean it up to put it on FF.net, because I don't plan to list any pairings up front. I don't want to do that, the story isn't about the pairings I've put in it, but I know it'll probably suffer if I don't since certain shippers will choose to just ignore it. On top of that, BtBR has its focus on a much more subtle take of NanoFate than the usual fic I read because that pairing isn't the major focus of the story.

I'm not overly worried about it, to be honest, but it's something I think about since I'm so close to the conclusion.

I'll just quote something I found yesterday on livejournal:

Working at a bookstore lets you in on some very very weird things.

Not only does Coolio have a cookbook (Yes, that Coolio, the rapper from the mid-'90s who just sorta faded away), but also classics like Pride and Prejudice and Wuthering Heights are being repackaged with Twilight-esque black covers and tied in with Twilight in the most shameless ways (with ridiculous subtitles like "Edward and Bella's favorite book"). AND PEOPLE ARE BUYING THEM. Teens and tweens, obviously.

If I ever create that manga I've been meaning to draw, I'm going to put all print volumes in black covers with a single rose or apple on them, and write something like "EDWARD AND BELLA WOULD HAVE LIKED THIS MANGA." Instant success, y0~

What I take from this. As an aspiring author, keep your self-respect and don't be like them bookstore guys and sell yourself out to the masses.

[isagrimorie]

Originally Posted by RadiantBeam

That's actually my biggest concern for when I finally finish posting all the chapters for my fic "Bless the Broken Road" here and clean it up to put it on FF.net, because I don't plan to list any pairings up front. I don't want to do that, the story isn't about the pairings I've put in it, but I know it'll probably suffer if I don't since certain shippers will choose to just ignore it. On top of that, BtBR has its focus on a much more subtle take of NanoFate than the usual fic I read because that pairing isn't the major focus of the story.

I'm not overly worried about it, to be honest, but it's something I think about since I'm so close to the conclusion.

I'll come and visit that fic. Any day. And maybe post multiple reviews so you'll feel the love. 'Cause did I mention how much I love BtBR? 'Cause I do!

[Rika23onROOF]

(^/////^) just drop by to give an un-edited version of chapter 3 of My Princess, so its not being check yet! This is from Nanoha-san's point of view, so a little introduction of her life.

@Synaesthetic: THANK YOUUUU SOOOO MUCHHHH!!!!!!

Spoiler for un-edited My Princess Chapter 3:

The sound of J-pop music coming from my phone woke me from my slumber. I grunted, feeling myself too weak to move. I was going to ignore it but a familiar arms squeezed me gently by the waist. I sighed, finally woke up and reached out to grab my phone. Grabbing the pink device, I flipped the phone opened and shut the alarm off finally giving a moment of peace. I wanted to go back my own dreamland but the fact that we need to go to school is inevitable. Slowly sitting up, I was stopped by a pair of warm arms still holding me.

Looking over my shoulder, I smiled seeing my girlfriend still asleep. She looks adorable when she sleeps. So I slowly lowered myself towards her, I held strands of my own brown hair over my ear and kiss her lightly at the lips. After departing, she shifted lightly but didn’t wake up. I sighed once again in relief, thankful that my girlfriend is a heavy sleeper. Slowly I unwrapped her arms off of me and covered her with our blanket. Taking a one last looked at her, I leave the room quietly.

I went inside the bathroom of our apartment, taking my toothbrush and put on some toothpaste on top of it, I proceeded to brush my teeth while looking at myself at the mirror. I never did introduce my self did I? Nyahaha, sorry about that. My name is Nanoha Takamachi, 17 and a second year in high school. I was just an average girl years ago, until something happens that changed my life forever.

After I finished cleaning up, I decided to prepare breakfast first before taking a shower. Maybe I should shower with Fate-chan, that’ll save time. ‘If’ we didn’t get too distract with one another. Fate-chan, Fate-chan is my girlfriend. We live together in the same apartment. Though I was reluctant, Fate paid the rent and everything. I wanted to help, maybe pay half of the rent. But Fate-chan told me it was okay. I wonder, maybe she was just feeling pity of me.

Shaking away of my thoughts, I took four eggs from the fridge and a frying pan from the cupboard just beside the fridge. My mind went back to the event almost a year ago, where I first met Fate. She was a…wild girl back then. So different then she is now. But the first time we met was kind a funny, we were in the same high school and the same class. She was famous back then…infamous. And I was a typical smart student that follows school rule, we were really a complete opposite.

I smiled remembering we weren’t getting along at first.

Cough, cough, cough… Oh dear, I almost forgot to take my pills. I walked to a nearby cabinet which stored my medical pills. Since To everyone’s eyes, I’m just an average healthy seventeen years old girl who’s having a perfectly normal and healthy life. But unfortunately, I wasn’t one of does lucky girls. I have my own problem and it involves life and death. Though I know my life isn’t going to last long, I still try my best to live a life without regrets.

I accepted my fate a long time ago, even before I met Fate-chan. My family had supported me, helping to make me feel better and won’t give up hope. I never did believe in hope, fate or destiny. Those things were just words that only gave people false believe. That’s right, I was that kind of girl that wanted to die instead of waiting. But then Fate-chan came, it was as if she was a sign from the God telling me not to give up life yet.

Meeting her was the best thing that could happen to me in the last sixteen years of my life. She taught me a lot of things, especially how to enjoy life itself. I love her, I love her so much that in hurts. Every time I thought of the future, I could only see a vision of sadness and despair. If Fate-chan love me as well, it would only bring her pain. I don’t want that, I want her to be happy.

“Nanoha…”

Two strong arms suddenly wrapped themselves around my waist. Stiffen at the contact, I soon felt relaxed at the familiar feeling. Looking over my shoulder, two red eyes stared lovingly at me. I couldn’t help but smiled back at her. Though I am selfishness, I couldn’t lie to myself. I don’t want Fate-chan to leave; I don’t want her to find someone other than me.

Turning to face her, I wrapped my own arms over her shoulder. I could feel her heart pounding against mine, Fate-chan felt it as well since she was blushing when our front touched one another. She was so cute whenever she blushes. If it was a long time ago, she won’t be this shy at all. I guess I was the reason why she became like this. Compared to the years before Fate-chan met me, other people, especially the guys she used to hang out with thought she became weak and soft-hearted. They were wrong, Fate-chan wasn’t weak. The reason why they thought that was because I was with her. Sometimes I thought that I’m just a burden to her, the way people view Fate-chan changes. They lose their respect towards her, their ex-leader. And for Fate-chan, she has lost a lot of friends.

It was because of me…I…

“Nanoha, is there something wrong?”

“Eh?”

Fate-chan stared at me, her red eyes filled with questions and concerned. I must’ve space out again.

“Its nothing Fate-chan. Just feeling…tired.” I tried to find the right words to describe how I feel. But we both knew it was a lie anyway, I didn’t felt tired at all. The only feeling that presented itself within me was worries, sadness but no regrets.

Fate-chan seems to know it as she placed her forehead against mine in a loving manner. Her embarrassment dissipated and was replaced by determination. “Nanoha, I thought I told you a thousand times not to think about those things. You should know by now of how important you are to me. Meeting you is one of the best things that ever happen to me. I make my own decision to stay with you, to be with you as long as it takes. So please, don’t think things like we shouldn’t have met.”

Her words of comfort made me want to cry. No matter how many times she say it, her words always makes me happy. Too happy that tears flow out of the corner of my eyes. I never was a cry baby, but now only Fate-chan can make me cry this easily. I live my life for her hence, I will fight to live as long as I can; for my family, for my friends, for Fate-chan and most of all, for myself.

-
-
-
-

My Princess
By Rika

Chapter 3

The whole chapter isn't finish yet... but the plot is in my head! Just too lazy to write...

[OZ7UP]

Originally Posted by Kaijo

Presenting rough draft of MGLN Crisis Chapter 17. I was going to wait another day or so to post this, to give me time to work on chapter 18. But I realize there doesn't seem to be much of a plot line currently (unless you've been following the hints). So this should get things going again.

As always, previous parts can be found here: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2116261/Kaijo

Spoiler for MGLN Crisis Chapter 17: Nightmares from the Past:

--snip--

Wow, you weren't kidding when you mentioned that trope after you put up Chapter 16. Can't wait to see how this will end.

The little exchange at the start of the chapter where Arf is trying to recall her memories - I lol'd at her thinking that Yuuno was Nanoha's ferret familiar.

Originally Posted by Satashi

One of the more awkward moments of having a daughter who loves you very much.

Spoiler for XDD:

--snip--

Cute.

Anyway, while I'm still working on chapter 2 of my Nanoha/Archie cross-over, I will be posting the occasional one-shot - if anything, don't be surprised if you see me churn out one-shot after one-shot before you see any progress on my main story. It's just that I'm not that great with writing long, drawn-out stories (unless you're talking about photocomics), so hopefully writing these one-shots should help improve my writing.

So, without further ado, here's the first of hopefully many one-shots.

Title: "She Is Beautiful"
Genre: Songfic (primary), humor (secondary)
Pairing(s): It's really up to you to decide for yourself.
Based on: "She Is Beautiful" by Andrew W.K.

Spoiler for Original song:

Spoiler for Songfic: "She Is Beautiful":

Night had fallen over the TSAB Riot Force 6 military complex. A blue-eyed brunette was sitting behind the desk in her work area, finishing up the day’s paperwork. As it started to get closer and closer to midnight, the brunette tried to hold back a yawn unsuccessfully before placing her head down on the desk to rest.

“I think I’ll just call it a day now. I’ll take a quick nap before heading back to my room…”

That was when it started.

It started with a single electric guitar playing a solo-esque riff on the D-string, complete with a couple of slides here and there to make it sound complex. However, it was what came a split second after the end of that mini guitar solo that made things a whole lot more interesting.

The moment the solo ended, midnight struck, and the brunette’s eyes suddenly opened as a high D note started playing over and over before launching into a partially palm-muted riff. As this was happening, the brunette started up the room’s audio system. She had no idea what was going on or why she was even doing this – she simply felt the urge to plug an Earth microphone with an unusually long cable lead into the system. Satisfied with the connection, the brunette made her way towards the door, microphone in hand.

The moment the brunette was out of her work area, hell froze over.

I never knew girls existed like you.
But now that I do, I’d really like to get to know you.


While this was happening, the lights in the hallway suddenly turned on. A holographic display opened up, showing a clip of the brunette playing away on an electric guitar. Various other displays were also up and running, showing the brunette playing various other instruments, including a bass guitar, a drum kit, and a piano. Taking no notice of what was going on around her, our heroine continued to prowl through the quiet hallways as she sang into her microphone.

The girl’s too young, she don’t need any better,
It’s all coming back, I can feel it.
The girl’s too young, she don’t know any better,
It’s all coming back, I can feel it.

She is beautiful, she is beautiful.
She is beautiful, she is beautiful,
The girl is beautiful.


Finding herself in front of an elevator, the brunette decided to take the stairs to the ground floor instead. As it was just slightly past midnight, there wouldn’t be anyone around who would help out in case the lift was stuck between floors. Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, the Ace felt that she should stop by the cafeteria to pick up a late night snack, given that she had skipped dinner to work on her paperwork. Grinning at the thought of having something inside her stomach, the girl started to make her way through the main foyer.

You’re giving me rules and hints from all sides
And when you hit my back, you melt my eyes

The girl’s too young, she don’t need any better,
It’s all coming back, I can feel it.
The girl’s too young, she don’t know any better,
It’s all coming back I can feel it.


Entering the kitchen, the brunette tucked the microphone into her skirt. Raising her voice slightly to make up for the increased distance from the microphone, the blue-eyed Ace proceeded to raid the fridge for a few bananas, some fruit juice, and milk, before placing everything inside a blender.

And though I never know you, I look at your face,
To tell you that I love you, don’t know what to say,
Give everything I got to the beautiful girl,
The only thing I wish for in the whole wide world.


Chugging down the entire mixture in a split second, the brunette turned and left for the exit. She failed to notice two things: she had failed to notice that the microphone lead was tangled with the blender, thus causing a huge mess as she left, and that she had walked past the foyer into another wing of the base due to her being so engrossed with singing.

She is beautiful, she is beautiful.
She is beautiful, she is beautiful,
The girl is beautiful.


Lights suddenly lit up the entire hallway of this particular wing, and more holographic displays started up, creating a band consisting of many copies of the brunette playing various instruments. Being completely oblivious to her background, the Ace started belting out words with a strong emotion fueling her. To this date, nobody knows whether said emotion was love or lust.

I ain’t got nothing to lose!
(Nothing to lose.)
Going to throw it away, and talk to you!
(She looks good.)
She looks good!
(And it’s true.)
And it’s true!
The girl is beautiful – she is beautiful!

I ain’t got nothing to lose!
(Nothing to lose.)
When I’m living one time, and I want you!
(She looks good.)
She looks good!
(And it’s true.)
And it’s true!
The girl is beautiful – she is beautiful!


Pausing to catch her breath, the brunette noticed that she was not where she wanted to be, which was just outside the foyer. As she dashed back towards the foyer, the Ace accidentally triggered a security system that would lock any intruders within a section of the hallway. Picking up speed, our heroine performed a baseball slide through the closing doors and back into the foyer. Not caring about the now active alarm, she felt around for her microphone and, upon having it back in her hand, proceeded towards the exit.

She is beautiful, she is beautiful.
Na na na na na na na na
She is beautiful, she is beautiful.
Na na na na na na na na
She is beautiful, she is beautiful.
Na na na na na na na na
She is beautiful, she is beautiful.
Na na na na na na na na


As soon as she got out of the complex, the Ace started dashing towards the residential compound, making her way to the part of the building where her crush was currently staying. All common sense be damned – the girl was on a mission to the world know that she was crushing badly.

I ain’t got nothing to lose!
(Nothing to lose.)
Going to throw it away, and talk to you!
(She looks good.)
She looks good!
(And it’s true.)
And it’s true!
The girl is beautiful, she is beautiful!

I ain’t got nothing to lose!
(Nothing to lose.)
And I’ll never forget when I saw you!
(She looks good.)
She looks good!
(And it’s true.)
And it’s true!
The girl is beautiful, she is -


“OY! Some of us are trying to sleep here! What’s the big deal with singing out loud in the open?!?”

The brunette looked up suddenly with a look of shock on her face. She remembered hearing a guitar riff back in her workplace, but she didn’t quite know how to explain the situation. As a matter of fact, the Ace had forgotten why she was out in the open with a microphone in her hand, and how everything had started in the first place.

“Oops?”

Spoiler for A/N:

The pairing's completely up to you to decide. As for who's singing the song, there are two people who have blue eyes and brown hair, and are both Aces.

Go nuts.