To Aru ... Fanfiction Discussion Thread

[allfictions]

Originally Posted by tsunade666

^ Reminds me of Ben-to ln/anime

Oh sorry, forgot to add that it was a crossover with Ben-to.

[SmokinFerret88]

So, after a bit of time and thought, I've come to a conclusion that I believe should be mentioned at this point.

Remember the guy I mentioned before, the guy who was basically going to be Lucifer? Ichiryu Ouji, that guy, yeah I think I have something I can do for in terms of what he can do....and since both allfictions and Tsun are here, figured I'd welcome opinions of you both since you're an honest lot.

We've already established that this guy would be powerful; extremely so. That said, after spending a painstakingly long amount of time coming up with abilities and the like, I realized that half of these abilities probably would never surface. So, to amend this, I needed to approach his power in a different manner.

Basically, I'm probably going to make him a Majin. From my perspective, Othinus was a mage who could create and thus when she became a magic god this gave her ability to create things with magic by ten-fold; and that was when things were still 50/50. So, my idea is that Ichiryu will be on those grounds, with his core ability being the power to Manipulate.

I'll hold off on the explanations for the moment. Just lend me your thoughts and I'll explain further if this idea doesn't get completely torn to shreds.

[allfictions]

Why not another Impure Majin or a Majin Candidate like Index and Sigyn?

[SmokinFerret88]

Believe it or not, I was musing the idea of making Ichiryu a Majin Candidate for a time, but that ties into how far he had come with his ability to manipulate things. One of the title's of Lucifer was 'God of this World" and after some thought it seemed legit for him to be a Majin rather than a candidate or an impure one.

Ichiryu being a Majin is largely due to the fact that he didn't suffer the same issues that Index and Sigyn do. When he realized just what his magic was capable of, he didn't let the church or anyone try to hinder his growth out of fear of what he would do with that power. What also separates him from Sigyn is that his ability to manipulate isn't something that's restricted, meaning he himself can be affected by his own magic.

The power to Manipulate things is something we generally associate with a certain property and nothing else. I'm going for a broader scope.

Manipulating the chance of something happening in a manner beneficial to him.

Manipulating the possibility that his opponent's attack can miss when, typically, it wouldn't.

Manipulating undistorted elements (i.e. water/fire/wind/electricity/earth/est.) and by that I mean things that aren't distorted by Espers or other Magicians.

Just that alone is enough to make someone qualified, but that is why I'm bringing this to the attention of everyone here. Because I'm not sure, though I personally think it is a reasonable possibility for someone with an ability like this to become a Majin.

Hey, people wouldn't know what a Majin really was if someone wasn't already one in the series.

[tsunade666]

Are you sure of making him a majin? because majin are basically "god" in a sense. But this character your making "Ichiryu"? looks like a human to me that just discover that his a god?

What sets Othinus out of everyone (for me) is that she had lived for countless years that we don't know where she starts with. She see the downfall of humanity (destruction of worlds) again and again and again.

If you want him a majin.... I think you should make it a much broader background because seriously. Your talking about a majin here and not just a majin candidate.

Here's a muse for thought. What if his the majin that stole's Othinus status a majin? or the one who replace him? You said his power is too manipulate right? but a majin isn't bounded by world level magic but universal level magic. It would be easy for him to manipulate the fate or course of asteroids to crush the planet or move/tilt the earth from its axis around the sun.

If you really want him as a majin and manipulator? make him a jester type or a clown? or probably a playful one. One who manipulates things for an amusement. Like manipulating the downfall of America's economy on pure whim, making japan win the WW II or Hitler being a laughing stock of the world instead of a dictator.

Well that's just me. Because seriously... a majin >_>

[LevelSeven]

Spoiler for doesnt matter :):

You again didn't account for lenght or number of pages. I'm pretty sure a Grimoire can be two pages long. Besides, I doubt Index take all this time to read one page, she has photographic memory, she doesn't need to actually read each word, seeing the page should be enough.

i dont think that they are two pages long, they descripe a whole magical eremony to the point where they turn into something similar....
imagine a book with many diagrams and notes on the side + many text which explains it extremely detailed (which is only my opinion about the way, which most of the grimoire are/could be made of)...

Doesn't make for an interesting fight, does it? Pretty anticlimatic if you ask me.

well, anticlimax fights are the only ones which i can write....ssssooo

Your analogy is incorrect.

If my sister is actually an important witness that could bring down an international criminal organization because she accidentally assisted to ne of their crimes and escaped with several incriminating documents she stole, and the guy who saved her lives in a city outside their reach (like say, Singapore), yes, yes I would let her there, Would that be an easy decision? No. Would I be heartbroken to not be able to protect my own sister? Yes, even moreso if a stranger manages better. But I would still do it, her security is more important than my own selfishness.

mmmhhh, if i think about it......necassarius already had a spy which was also observing touma (if not than why should he go to the same class, be friends with him, have his room right next to touma), so i think that they would let index stay with him since: if he does somethin cr*zy, motoharu would kill him....
like a win-win situation for stuart...

I already pointed out Academy City's media is too tightly controlled. This is a city that has to make sure no spy from the outside comes in and shares info about their technolgy. Academy City's internet access to the outside world is constantly monitored and controlled.

AC is litterally 1984-lite.

makes sense to a certain level, if this people spread the news with their friends, and this ones with their friends than it is not really possible to stop this....

#Implying the scientists don't actually monitor the clones they let out

they dont, if they would than they would stop them from contacting #3, wouldnt this make it only more troublesome??

60% of Academy City is litterally expendable. Do you think they would care?

if it becomes public than, yeah i think they would...

They cmass produced clones, make Espers with advanced technology, have satellites, made a space elevator...

Cost is litterally the last of their worries.

the clones was really cheap, 180.000 yen right?? they are like 1800$ or was it 18.000$??

EDIT: a few ideas about the Level 5's:

Spoiler for three fanfic ideas:

1. a ordinary day, accel and touma are 14, that means the normal toaru didnt start until now....
suddenly they see each other on a empthy street and simply walk back home
the next day they switched their bodys :O

accel in toumas body discovers wha it measn to have people which care about him because he goes to school, meets toumas parents, has friends etc.

on the other hand touma is in accels body, he experiences the dark side, WITHOUT accel abilitys since he isnt smart enough, he has the powerless body, nearly non-existing stamina and endurance....
the most powerless level 0... and to all of that he is hunted down by the sister clones.... how can he survive that?? will they change their bodys back??

2. no level 5 knows he dark side, they have ridiculous strong powers without the need of them since they are (like the name says) complelty normal students, no special antics, no danger.... they are simply broken smart/strong (esper ability AND body wise (learned martial arts or something))/good looking....
accel is the smartest being in AC (he is the student of frog-faced doctor), kakine is a model, mikoto is a famous singer, mugino is the "doll" for AC (a level 0 who managed to become a Level 5), misaki is a idol for nearly everything, nickname: The Queen, Gunha is the best athlete which creates world records without his esper abilitys...

in short: they are the Idols of the Students, the most intelligent one (accel), the most hadsome one (kakine), the most beautiful one (mugino), the most famous one (mikoto), the most adorable one (misaki), the most athletic one (gunha)....

and than they meet the cruel and horrible world of magic and AC's dark side, face dangers, accel faces a dark touma (he has the past of accel and is the "hound dog" for them) in order to save Index (touma wants to capture her and after extracting the knowledge they will kill her), they fight and it changes into a H2H fight, after both have taken anough damage acel uses his abilitys and can overhelms touma but he didnt kill him (accel is a normal student), so touma starts to go the path of redemption with saving LO
(accel watches after Index, well he wipes out every magician or esper who ries to attak her in a second ssssooo it is a easy job) and gains the favor of mikoto...

in this world: the two sides arent "nice" or "peaceful" to each other, their are attacks the whole time without the public noticing it...
magic vs science (hidden from the public)

3. Index turns into pendex and tires to destroy AC, while touma blocks a massiv telesma summoned bomb (it is the same attack accel faced in WW3 but it was brought through ditortin time and space) with his dragon/IT... accel "attacks" index but while he managed to disrupt the signal between controller and pendex, he download the whole 103000 grimoires into his head... he drops to the ground and dont wake up (at first), a few weeks later (4-5) he wakes up and is in alpha world (the one from NT9)....
but nobody knows him sicne everybody tries to kill touma.... lets see how a majin accelerator can help touma and convincing the whole world

[SmokinFerret88]

Are you sure of making him a majin?

Part of the reason I mentioned it was because I wasn't sure. Hence why I asked, because feedback is vital.

Because majin are basically "god" in a sense. But this character your making "Ichiryu"? looks like a human to me that just discover that his a god?

Well, this is a person who's supposed to be the incarnation of Lucifer. What does Luci (or the devil, satan; whichever you prefer) depicted at doing more often than not in biblical lore? He twists the hearts of men, drives them to commit sin; basically being a manipulative individual. Since I'm running off of that idea, and we've seen people who've been alive far longer than we are even aware of, Ichiryu is most likely to be one of those people who's been around for a good long while.

What sets Othinus out of everyone (for me) is that she had lived for countless years that we don't know where she starts with.

See above when in concerns to age.

She see the downfall of humanity (destruction of worlds) again and again and again. If you want him a majin.... I think you should make it a much broader background because seriously. Your talking about a majin here and not just a majin candidate.

If you had the ability to manipulate just about anything below Heaven, you don't really have much to live for do you? Think about it, every possibility, every opportunity to do whatever you so desire with the odd's always in your favor. It's a life that sounds good on paper, but when you have all that power, with all those possibilities open to you and a likely chance to attain all of them, you loose sight of what life is, ultimately, all about.

Fulfillment.

You have all that, but you don't have a purpose; you have no reason to do anything, no challenge, no competition, no goals, no drive, no ambition, no end; just a road that leads nowhere. Sure, he'll get bored and do stupid shit to pass time and all, but part of the thrill of doing those things is the possibility of getting caught doing it. Like when you're underage but go to a friends house to drink and when you're of age and doing the same thing. Sure, its fun and all, but the thrill that was there before isn't there anymore because you won't get into trouble for doing it.

Point is, he has this power, he wanted that power, and he had his fun with it. But without purpose, without a real reason to live for, what is the point in having it? It might sound petty in comparison to Othinus, and I'm probably not putting it in the best of terms, but bare in mind that this isn't Othinus. And in the end of it all, her original purpose for all she had done was lost and her true goal was to find someone who understood her. Going by that kind of thought process, Ichiryu searching for a purpose with his life is not as far-fetched or any pettier a reason than the one Othinus inevitably sought for and eventually attained.

Here's a muse for thought. What if his the majin that stole's Othinus status a majin? or the one who replace him?

You mean Ollerus, right?

You said his power is too manipulate right? but a majin isn't bounded by world level magic but universal level magic. It would be easy for him to manipulate the fate or course of asteroids to crush the planet or move/tilt the earth from its axis around the sun.

Don't know why he would do that, but I see you're point. He could manipulate the hearts, thoughts, and actions of every living person on the planet to just start brawling in the streets and kill everyone until humanity went extinct. He could have done just as you said, tilted the earth off its axis around the sun and let the world burn or freeze over. He could have done all sorts of things, but is there any purpose in performing planet-wide genocide other than for the sake of 'screw it'?

Then again, that argument is kinda null when I think about it; killing himself would have been the ideal choice if he was desperate enough...but that then one needs to ask 'can god kill himself'?

If you really want him as a majin and manipulator? make him a jester type or a clown? or probably a playful one. One who manipulates things for an amusement. Like manipulating the downfall of America's economy on pure whim, making japan win the WW II or Hitler being a laughing stock of the world instead of a dictator.

Kinda what he's like at times; the whole 'few fucks given' attitude. When he's not acting as an antagonist, he'll be the one who does stupid things; but I'm not turning him into some Joker ripoff.

Well that's just me. Because seriously... a majin >_>

I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want input; and for you're input I thank you. I get that making an OC a Majin is ill advised and is sending off 'Sue-alarms' but that's why I'm discussing it here. I can't balance this guy because he's literally a god. So keep the criticism on high for me, so long as it's constructional then it'll be of some use to me.

[LevelSeven]

the whole stuff before and

I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want input; and for you're input I thank you. I get that making an OC a Majin is ill advised and is sending off 'Sue-alarms' but that's why I'm discussing it here. I can't balance this guy because he's literally a god. So keep the criticism on high for me, so long as it's constructional then it'll be of some use to me.

if i can give you a suggestion: let him loose his powers, not forever but let him do it to himself out of boredom...

he wakes up and he comepltly lost every ability, after tha he tries to find out what happened and a one-day-memory-gap is in his mind, he forgot what happened, a bit like hangover but with him as powerless thing....

in the end he would gain his powers back or learn the value of existence, than sacrificing himself and in th epilogue of the story he reaches his place inside the heaven....

---Happy End--- XD

[tsunade666]

Originally Posted by SmokinFerret88

You mean Ollerus, right?

Is he a modern day majin? because why make him an incarnation? why don't make him the real deal where the legend of lucifer was taken from?

and I meant him not ollerus.

for me when the majin word happen in tamni and nt 9 happen. majin exist outside the realm of possibilities but in the realm of impossibilities so time doesn't matter anymore.

so the idea is him and othinus are at odds against each other or they don't know each other but they exist on the same world but creating different filters from their own views.

hmm....

now steal how to steal her places....

well him hijacking one of her filters. manipulate it and twisted it. this will be their first meeting and the first legend of where lucifer was envious of the god though othinus bear strong origin for odin but she said in nt 9. The legends are born from what she's been doing. the mortals try to create stories around her.

so why not create stories around how "lucy" twisted the world. he can be the view of loki in norse or the fallen angel in christianity.

its just that your talking about a majin and not a majin candidate like ollerus. then all stops are remove. your making a darn MARY/MARY?GOD SUE character. a perfect character at all odds.

which is why I admire the guts of kamachi. usually, the MC or protagonist gets to be sue and not the antagonist. because a SUE antagonist is hard to kill or beat. But look what happen. even if it takes thousands of thousands of times or millions of millennium. TouMan beat her and make her dere dere goddess. That is ONE HARD THING to accomplish which makes me love NT 9 the most but the same time skeptical. Because really >_> no matter how you look at it. Othinus is a marysue character.

So if you really want to create a majin? then be sure to have lots of criticism because it will be hard. The way I see it. You will need a lot of planning and people will probably rage. People often read fic to have a "viewer" view of the events happen in their favorite show. Usually, its shows a better or different point of view but it didn't change the fact that the MC will get more love (or harem) in fics. Though it maybe varied on readers but most of the people I know read fics for self satisfaction that the readers/watchers can't get on canon.

I'll ask you if you if its fun to read a story where you know the enemy is impossible to beat?

even I will shout this is unfair and if its a game I till throttle the company that your game is "junk"

well that's me and all. its fanfiction anyway and other said its your story, you decide plus its really for self satisfaction because you want to recreate or remake the scene you watch/read into what you want.

And I always voted for darker MC. GO FOR A FIC WITH DARK TOUMA!!!!

I really can't enjoy the loud mouth, naive and annoying MC's. I don't see fun on them aside from SoL genre story.

[demino_hellsin]

Weirdest dream team-up ever... Touma(Kamachi), Satsujinki(Nasu), Kouta(Urobutchi).

[tsunade666]

Kouta? from elfen lied? among the other Kouta is the only unknown or unsure to me.

Touma and Shiki are both of my favorite specially their ability. Imagine Breaker and Mystic Eyes of Death Perception.

[demino_hellsin]

...it's weird because I'm referring to Kamen Rider Gaim. A children's morning TV show with Urobutchi as lead writer.

[tsunade666]

Originally Posted by demino_hellsin

...it's weird because I'm referring to Kamen Rider Gaim. A children's morning TV show with Urobutchi as lead writer.

are you serious?.... is it the same urobutcher? because I don't follow them on what they write or work on so I don't know... but seriously... a kamen rider show... >_>

[demino_hellsin]

Yes, it's the Urobutcher. But he's been pretty tame thus far. Only 2 named character deaths.

To add more to the weirdness, you have ImagineBreaker, mystic eyes of death perception and... Fruit themed power armor?

[tsunade666]

........................ what?

fruit.... themed.... power armor? 0_0

[demino_hellsin]

Well fruit/nut-samurai/ninja/knight/gladiator themed if you want to get technical.

The power armor is derived from organisms of another dimension, I'm wondering if IB can negate such things.

[LevelSeven]

a fanfic idea about touma.....

sounds incredible right??

Spoiler for the idea:

after WW3 their wasnt a grramlin organization or whatever...

touma lives a normal life like always

suddenly, touma blushes, h fals in love (incredible right??) and the person he starts to like is a ordinary Level 0 student with ordinary marks, ordinary body, average mentality, average intelligence....
a comeplelty 0815 student like everyone else, even a level0 but lives a comepltly nnormal life far away fro skill-outs or the dark side...

and touma cant help but fall for her to 200%...

now watch how touma tries to gain a girlfriend

[demino_hellsin]

...Fukiyose Seiri?

[LevelSeven]

...Fukiyose Seiri?

No, fukiyose is made like a usual anime girl....
she has stuff which makes her unique: fighting ability, this healthy products, gaint forehead etc.
Himegami: gemstone,quiet, emo-girl (sort of)....

I mean a completly normal Level 0 who acts like a normal human would do without the typical carachteristics of moe or ecchi girls.....
she has friends, is a Level 0, was never in a fight, never in a life or death situation, is average intelligent, is average athletic, isnt dere, wouldnt blush only because a boy talks with her (hence a girl from this world)
in short: she is one of this chars who are only in the background without moving because it makes the overall "picture" of that scene better....

and since she is so normal that she will never be in such dangerous situations it is impossible for touma to use his "saved-and-now-into-the-harem-BS"....
he will try the things normal people would try but fails horrible, his friends arent normal either and the person who has a girlfriend has no idea how to make such things....

[demino_hellsin]

...Tatsugami Otohime?

Well if you know Japanese girls then sure.