Dating

[Miko Miko]

It seems he still holds a special place in his heart for you considering that he is saving a kiss for you.

Wow I hope so :P

and when I was dating him he was always calling me asking me who I was with and my friend told me that he was scared about me cheating on him he was really paranoid about that!

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

I need help guys!! :]


Okay so I went out with this boy last year for 3 months, but I stopped being with him because he was super paranoid. Currently he has a girlfriend who happens to be one of my friends, but Sunday night he told me that he didn't love her and how he needed a new girlfriend. He said he wasn't sure if he wanted me back yet. But later that night my friend (M) got drunk and tried to kiss him, he told M to back off because his lips were only to be touched by me.. Do you think he is still into me.. because I am so confused. I have always liked him but I cant ask him out if he is with my friend. Although we have done some stuff together which counts as cheating anyway and I really dont want her to know.. AGH!

You're becoming something of a regular customer here nowadays, aren't you Imouto-chan?

Ok well, I'd think this one is obvious; this boy is bad news. You do NOT want to be stuck with him for long; extreme paranoia is a relationship killer for the most part, and even if you continue to pursue one with him, that paranoia is just going to make you miserable. Plus, he's virtually two-timing you and your friend in front of the both of you here, so yes, he's no good.

Break with him ASAP. If you can, get your friend out of this mess too; if it looks impossible, just run to save yourself. :x

[FateAnomaly]

From what you say i think he meant for you to hear what he said to his girlfriend (your friend). He got plenty of other chances to kiss her anyway. His paranoia isn't really a problem since he will probably ditch you first anyway.

[Throne Invader]

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

I need help guys!! :]


Okay so I went out with this boy last year for 3 months, but I stopped being with him because he was super paranoid. Currently he has a girlfriend who happens to be one of my friends, but Sunday night he told me that he didn't love her and how he needed a new girlfriend. He said he wasn't sure if he wanted me back yet. But later that night my friend (M) got drunk and tried to kiss him, he told M to back off because his lips were only to be touched by me.. Do you think he is still into me.. because I am so confused. I have always liked him but I cant ask him out if he is with my friend. Although we have done some stuff together which counts as cheating anyway and I really dont want her to know.. AGH!

When it comes to any of my close friends and their relationships, I'd just back off. If any of their boyfriends would start fancying me(which has happened before), I'd do something to stop it right away. Your position is quite risky now. You could end up losing either. One of your statements made it seem as if this guy desperately needs a new girlfriend and O-M-G, he really said that only you could touch his lips. He put on quite a show for you. Lol. You're gonna have to use your own woman intuition if you think he's serious or if he's just playing with you. And you're gonna have to be honest to your friend. She is your "friend", right?

[Jazzrat]

Originally Posted by LeoXiao

Aren't Asian people generally conservative about touching other people in most situations anyway? My mom who is Chinese occasionally talks about how it seems strange to her that Westerners are so open to touching and kissing (pats, hugs, stuff like that).

That would depend where they grew up. It's kinda hard to generalized Asians when it comes to public affection but most of the younger generations are actually quite open about it. It's not a rude or impolite gesture, just embaressing for some. But a peck or a hug in the open is nothing much to write home about for most.

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

Okay so I went out with this boy last year for 3 months, but I stopped being with him because he was super paranoid. Currently he has a girlfriend who happens to be one of my friends, but Sunday night he told me that he didn't love her and how he needed a new girlfriend. He said he wasn't sure if he wanted me back yet. But later that night my friend (M) got drunk and tried to kiss him, he told M to back off because his lips were only to be touched by me.. Do you think he is still into me.. because I am so confused.

You need to ask yourself if this boy is worth souring your friendship with your friends. Also, has he changed his paranoid attitude or could you accept him being super paranoid about you?

IMO, i dont think he's particularly trustworthy if you are looking for a serious relationship. He should have broke off with his gf before going after you. Sounds like he's hedging his bet with his current gf if you rejected him.

[Miko Miko]

Ok well, I'd think this one is obvious; this boy is bad news. You do NOT want to be stuck with him for long; extreme paranoia is a relationship killer for the most part, and even if you continue to pursue one with him, that paranoia is just going to make you miserable. Plus, he's virtually two-timing you and your friend in front of the both of you here, so yes, he's no good.

I agree and I do not want to get me or my friend hurt, I think I shouldn't bother with him.

From what you say i think he meant for you to hear what he said to his girlfriend (your friend). He got plenty of other chances to kiss her anyway. His paranoia isn't really a problem since he will probably ditch you first anyway.

No he was definately telling me But I dont want to kiss him really...

When it comes to any of my close friends and their relationships, I'd just back off. If any of their boyfriends would start fancying me(which has happened before), I'd do something to stop it right away. Your position is quite risky now. You could end up losing either. One of your statements made it seem as if this guy desperately needs a new girlfriend and O-M-G, he really said that only you could touch his lips. He put on quite a show for you. Lol. You're gonna have to use your own woman intuition if you think he's serious or if he's just playing with you. And you're gonna have to be honest to your friend. She is your "friend", right?

Your right I don't want to lose a friend.. but I dont know if he is serious or not, because he acts like he is really serious to me. I told my friend and she said she was on the verge of giving up with him anyway. I dont think I have woman intuition.. I always make the wrong choices, I dont understand boys..

You need to ask yourself if this boy is worth souring your friendship with your friends. Also, has he changed his paranoid attitude or could you accept him being super paranoid about you?

IMO, i dont think he's particularly trustworthy if you are looking for a serious relationship. He should have broke off with his gf before going after you. Sounds like he's hedging his bet with his current gf if you rejected him.

He is not worth it and he has definately changed his ways, since I talked to him previously I think he understands a lot more and has stopped being so paranoid. I know he should have broke up with my friend, I dont understand why he is doing this.

Thanks for all your replies you have helped imouto-chan very much!

[Jazzrat]

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

I always make the wrong choices, I dont understand boys..

He is not worth it and he has definately changed his ways, since I talked to him previously I think he understands a lot more and has stopped being so paranoid. I know he should have broke up with my friend, I dont understand why he is doing this.

Thanks for all your replies you have helped imouto-chan very much!

Oh it's the same way as well for guys. Girl's action often leaves us bewildered and confused.

[Ascaloth]

Originally Posted by Miko Miko

Your right I don't want to lose a friend.. but I dont know if he is serious or not, because he acts like he is really serious to me. I told my friend and she said she was on the verge of giving up with him anyway. I dont think I have woman intuition.. I always make the wrong choices, I dont understand boys..

I guess woman's intuition is something that is socialized rather than coming naturally, after all. In that case don't worry imouto-chan, you'll slowly develop your intuition as you gain more experience.

Thanks for all your replies you have helped imouto-chan very much!

You're welcome. Always know that the oniichans and oneechans here are always willing to help you out with this kind of stuff.

[Miko Miko]

Oh it's the same way as well for guys. Girl's action often leaves us bewildered and confused.

I guess thats true, haha!

I guess woman's intuition is something that is socialized rather than coming naturally, after all. In that case don't worry imouto-chan, you'll slowly develop your intuition as you gain more experience.

Really? hm Well I hope I do gain intuition.

You're welcome. Always know that the oniichans and oneechans here are always willing to help you out with this kind of stuff.

Thank You! Im glad that you're willing to help

[Throne Invader]

@Miko Miko
Well good luck with whatever choice you make. If you wanna gain more understanding about your situation or if you need help figuring out how to solve it, just put yourself in your friend's shoes. I'm pretty sure you'll do what's best. And don't worry about the intuition thing. Every girl has it inside em. Just trust yourself.

[Miko Miko]

Originally Posted by AmoreDoll

@Miko Miko
Well good luck with whatever choice you make. If you wanna gain more understanding about your situation or if you need help figuring out how to solve it, just put yourself in your friend's shoes. I'm pretty sure you'll do what's best. And don't worry about the intuition thing. Every girl has it inside em. Just trust yourself.

Thanks. I hope I make the right choice and I will be able to make that choice once I stop being grounded. Thanks again for all your help and advice

[Solafighter]

Today, when i had to go somewhere by train, cause my car is in repair.

It was crazy. ONLY couples. I was the only one single there. I felt a little lonely.

Anyone wants to be my girlfriend?

Rhetoric question. not serious.

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by rio

y.. you are awesome.. especially the quotes
If you ever want to kiss a girl, play with her hair and say how soft her hair is, then lean in. Never fails.
and
Ask to see her hand and say how small it is or w/e, and rest your head on hers.




you are a very playboy, aren't you? or is it usual to do for boys ?

i haven't seen boys doing that in Japan.. maybe they are shy . They aren't good at praising girls .

Well, flirting 'styles' may be different, according to the culture and the mores of that country, i.e. where certain types of behavior may or may not be deemed socially acceptable, but in the end, "there is nothing new under the sun" and flirting is flirting, in any style you choose.

Where you can get away with outlandish behavior, you will do outlandish flirting, and conversely, where only propriety is acceptable, you will not be able to do but only the most subtle flirting (if at all). A good example being very staunch Muslim countries.

In most Western countries, however, the amount and styles of flirting runs the gamut. In London, I wouldn't be considered a playboy at all. The furthest I would go in describing myself is...confident? But not always. When I decide to go for a girl that's how I behave, but in general I'm more conservative. It's kinda like a switch.

i think praising girls to get a girlfriend is not so bad..if i were treated like that, i wouldn't feel bad (though if it seemed very intentionally or exaggerated, i would withdraw ) but how will you keep that attitude to her in your relationship ?

i just wonder.. if you do that by your natural personality, it's good. But if you just pretend,and stop that when you are tired, that relationship wouldn't turn good , and as a result hurt her .

How do you think about it?

Good question, that's definitely something I've thought about in the past. The best way to go about it is obviously to keep the compliments geniune. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to slightly exaggerate as long as the compliment itself isn't baseless. Guys really do have a lot of good things to say about girls they like, most of the time they're either supressing it or struggling to express themselves without sounding like a creep.

You are right that if he's just doing it as a sort of trick, and that's not how the guy really feels, it will inevitably catch up to them and the girl will get hurt.

[Miki7]

Congratulation I wish you the best

[Nervous Venus]

If you ever want to kiss a girl, play with her hair and say how soft her hair is, then lean in. Never fails.
and
Ask to see her hand and say how small it is or w/e, and rest your head on hers.

Do guys really believe that this works with all girls? >.>;;

[rio]

Originally Posted by Kakashi

Well, flirting 'styles' may be different, according to the culture and the mores of that country, i.e. where certain types of behavior may or may not be deemed socially acceptable, but in the end, "there is nothing new under the sun" and flirting is flirting, in any style you choose.

Where you can get away with outlandish behavior, you will do outlandish flirting, and conversely, where only propriety is acceptable, you will not be able to do but only the most subtle flirting (if at all). A good example being very staunch Muslim countries.

In most Western countries, however, the amount and styles of flirting runs the gamut. In London, I wouldn't be considered a playboy at all. The furthest I would go in describing myself is...confident? But not always. When I decide to go for a girl that's how I behave, but in general I'm more conservative. It's kinda like a switch.

Good question, that's definitely something I've thought about in the past. The best way to go about it is obviously to keep the compliments geniune. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to slightly exaggerate as long as the compliment itself isn't baseless. Guys really do have a lot of good things to say about girls they like, most of the time they're either supressing it or struggling to express themselves without sounding like a creep.

You are right that if he's just doing it as a sort of trick, and that's not how the guy really feels, it will inevitably catch up to them and the girl will get hurt.

Thanks for explaining . You are absolutely right.
I was really impressed that you did things like that i quoted even you are living in western countries. Those were even shocking to me, so wanted to know how you are thinking about such behaviors.
But you have your view in that the behaviors are related to the culture , and those are not only for catching women, those are natural things you do in your way to get along with women . i am relieved to hear that. ^^

Thanks for explaining again

[Irkalla]

Originally Posted by Nervous Venus

Do guys really believe that this works with all girls? >.>;;

Or more like, on which girl does it even work on? Seriously, If a guy did that to me, I'd think he is seriously challenged. Sounds like a thing you'd read in a bad how-to-date guidebook or something. Seriously, no offense, but that really got me to go WTFBBQ. If he'd just say I have nice boobs or something, but hair? That's a whole new lvl of flattery there

[qwertyuiopz]

ive dated twice

and i have to say its so much nicer being single

[Jazzrat]

Originally Posted by Zaseka

Or more like, on which girl does it even work on? Seriously, If a guy did that to me, I'd think he is seriously challenged. Sounds like a thing you'd read in a bad how-to-date guidebook or something. Seriously, no offense, but that really got me to go WTFBBQ. If he'd just say I have nice boobs or something, but hair? That's a whole new lvl of flattery there

Girls like to be complimented on their hair though
I manage to get a girl to perm her hair cause i told her she looks very
pretty with it.

[Irkalla]

Originally Posted by Jazzrat

Girls like to be complimented on their hair though
I manage to get a girl to perm her hair cause i told her she looks very
pretty with it.

That is an entirely different situation though. You basically told her how she could improve, according to your tastes. If a girl does that to please you, then she is practically "yours", or was already to begin with.