Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[SpaceBrotha]

When my mom tried to give me 'The Talk' i reversed the situation and explained it to her instead...
she took the hint rather quickly

Edit: I dedicate this page claim to 'The Talk'

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Satashi

*flails* get out of my head!

It's just common sense really. After all, I'm not your average reader. I'm a reader, AND, a writer! XD

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Har. I never got "the talk". *Wins*

Yay! Same here XD *Wins as well*

I'd like to include 'Ashes unto Dust' but I dunno how to write that in katakana.

'Ashes Unto Dust' eh? Hmm....*refers to the phonetic alphabet*

Ashes = A-shi-su/tsu
Unto = U-n-to
Dust = I'm not sure

Well I'm 100% sure, since I could be wrong, but that's just based on my knowledge of the Japanese phonetic alphabet and all

I may know the alphabet, but I don't know how to apply it 100% yet.

[krisslanza]

Maybe I'll run the words in a japanese dictonary thingy...
Well BabelFish translates 'Ashes unto Dust' into: 塵に灰.
...
I see a 'ni' in there.

Ashes: haigara
Dust: chiri, funjin, obutsu, hokori
...
I miss my translator site that told me the meanings attached to those words. I don't remember its name and I have it bookmarked on my home computer (which I can't use) /sigh

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by SpaceBrotha

When my mom tried to give me 'The Talk' i reversed the situation and explained it to her instead...
she took the hint rather quickly

Edit: I dedicate this page claim to 'The Talk'

Spoiler for NSFW text (kinda... not really... but just incase?):

"Come on," Fate insisted as she walked down the sidewalk with Nanoha. Their joined hands swayed lightly as they continued along their path towards Fate's family business. "I told you, why can't you tell me?"

"Because." Nanoha counter-insisted. "It's embarrassing..."

"Like mine wasn't?"

Finally Nanoha sighed and looked over at Fate sideways. "Remember I was fourteen."

"Okay."

"And I was innocent."

"Sure."

Nanoha took a breath. "Okay... Mom just finished the talk with me and explained...how..."it" works."

"It?" Fate teased with a smile.

'you know... IT!"

"It as in sex orrrrr?"

Nanoha blushed harder. "You know... a guy's... it."

Fate had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. "Okay, continue."

"So," Nanoha stayed silent a little longer. "I changed my mind, I'm not telling."

"You lied to me!"

"I didn't lie!"

"you lied!" Fate hit Nanoha hard with hte puppy eyes of doom. "you lied!"

"okay, okay, I'm sorry! I'll tell!" Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. "I asked if you could get pregnant by swallowing."

Fate finally forgave Hayate at that moment. Bent over and one hand on a lamp post for support, she laughed. Tears fell from her eyes as she struggled just to breathe. "Swa...swallow....HAhahahahaha!"

Nanoha puffed out her cheeks. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"Ahahahaha!" Fate slid down the pole and sat down, shaking so hard her legs could no longer hold her up. "Swall.... oh god, it hurts! Hahahaha!"

"I'm leaving you," Nanoha turned and stormed off for a total of ten steps before stopping and looking back at Fate who was trying to collect herself. "Mou..." But somehow she felt her lips turn up slightly.

Fate was really cute when she laughed.

Nanoha's secret revealed

[krisslanza]

I've started reading Saved by the Bell.
Loving it so far. I'll probably just leave one big over all review though

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by krisslanza

I've started reading Saved by the Bell.
Loving it so far. I'll probably just leave one big over all review though

Works for me, hope you enjoy it ^_^

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Spoiler for NSFW text (kinda... not really... but just incase?):

"Come on," Fate insisted as she walked down the sidewalk with Nanoha. Their joined hands swayed lightly as they continued along their path towards Fate's family business. "I told you, why can't you tell me?"

"Because." Nanoha counter-insisted. "It's embarrassing..."

"Like mine wasn't?"

Finally Nanoha sighed and looked over at Fate sideways. "Remember I was fourteen."

"Okay."

"And I was innocent."

"Sure."

Nanoha took a breath. "Okay... Mom just finished the talk with me and explained...how..."it" works."

"It?" Fate teased with a smile.

'you know... IT!"

"It as in sex orrrrr?"

Nanoha blushed harder. "You know... a guy's... it."

Fate had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. "Okay, continue."

"So," Nanoha stayed silent a little longer. "I changed my mind, I'm not telling."

"You lied to me!"

"I didn't lie!"

"you lied!" Fate hit Nanoha hard with hte puppy eyes of doom. "you lied!"

"okay, okay, I'm sorry! I'll tell!" Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. "I asked if you could get pregnant by swallowing."

Fate finally forgave Hayate at that moment. Bent over and one hand on a lamp post for support, she laughed. Tears fell from her eyes as she struggled just to breathe. "Swa...swallow....HAhahahahaha!"

Nanoha puffed out her cheeks. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"Ahahahaha!" Fate slid down the pole and sat down, shaking so hard her legs could no longer hold her up. "Swall.... oh god, it hurts! Hahahaha!"

"I'm leaving you," Nanoha turned and stormed off for a total of ten steps before stopping and looking back at Fate who was trying to collect herself. "Mou..." But somehow she felt her lips turn up slightly.

Fate was really cute when she laughed.

Nanoha's secret revealed

*Drops like a rock unconscious*

Cause: Extreme nasal discharge of blood

[Satashi]

Originally Posted by ghazghkull

*Drops like a rock unconscious*

Cause: Extreme nasal discharge of blood

Add one to the list of death by nosebleed T_T

Maybe I should cut back the funny fanservice bits...\

edit: Question, do any of you writers have someone who normally reviews your stuff, but for some reason they just annoy the heck out of you? I have two people like that now. Don't offer any real advice and just generally make my IQ drop just by reading their stuff *sigh*

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Add one to the list of death by nosebleed T_T

Maybe I should cut back the funny fanservice bits...

Nah, I just fainted XD

Besides, it's fun with all the fanservice XD

[krisslanza]

Oh phew thought I'd have to get the broom out again and start sweeping corpses off the thread.

@Satashi-sama:
I have those kinds... It irks me when I have a review and it was like some one-lined 'this is good' kind of deal. I had people favorite me but not leave reviews... That is somewhat irking since I like to get feedback *Comment whore*

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Oh phew thought I'd have to get the broom out again and start sweeping corpses off the thread.

@Satashi-sama:
I have those kinds... It irks me when I have a review and it was like some one-lined 'this is good' kind of deal. I had people favorite me but not leave reviews... That is somewhat irking since I like to get feedback *Comment whore*

Don't worry, you're not alone in that respect. I've got this one story, that has 195 alerts, 146 favs, 17 C2s, has been viewed 71496 times, and I've only been reviewed 424 times, for 14 chapters, and I'd say 80% of it is just the general "I like it" kind of review, with the remaining 20% being actual constructive reviews.

But then again...my fic is nearly 2 years old, or it will be come March XD

[krisslanza]

Wow that is a lot My most is only near 800 hits that I did last year And has like 12 reviews. People don't seem to review me often

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Wow that is a lot My most is only near 800 hits that I did last year And has like 12 reviews. People don't seem to review me often

But then again, Nanoha is still building up it's fanbase here in North America.

The story that has that kind of stats is my hit story in the Evangelion community, Unbreakable Bond, which also happens to be my series of specialty at the moment.

[krisslanza]

Oh no School of Lyrical is nowhere near that It is last I checked getting near 500 hits with 6 reviews. The fic I was talking about was Hikikomonogo which is in the Yggdra Union section where is far less popular so I suppose it is something that it has so many hits in such a unknown series

[Reiji Tabibito]

Originally Posted by Satashi

@Reiji Tabibito: I also played RO for a long time. on the official server I had an 87 Monk and a 93 Priestess. Co-founder of "Guardians of POING" guild, we sold our services to protect a castle during WoE for 1 mil Zenny :3

Ah... nice. I play myself - whether official or not is up to your imagination - I play four characters - an 80something ME Priest; a lvl 50something Lancer Knight; a lvl 50something Wizard; and a lvl20 Gunslinger.

[ghazghkull]

Originally Posted by krisslanza

Oh no School of Lyrical is nowhere near that It is last I checked getting near 500 hits with 6 reviews. The fic I was talking about was Hikikomonogo which is in the Yggdra Union section where is far less popular so I suppose it is something that it has so many hits in such a unknown series

Basically the number of hits is relative to the popularity of the series, and the number of fictions are there for that particular series. For a Nanoha or series, Satashi is like a god, whereas in say Evangelion, I'm just a skilled and popular writer.

Now statistically speaking, those kinds of value in a really huge series such as Naruto, the numbers wouldn't mean as much, as it would just indicate your an above average writer, but nothing incredibly special. It's when it mounts into the thousands then you know you're starting to become increasingly popular Mind that this is in the larger series such as Naruto, Harry Potter, or Card Captors Sakura.

[Riddly]

Originally Posted by Satashi

Question, do any of you writers have someone who normally reviews your stuff, but for some reason they just annoy the heck out of you? I have two people like that now. Don't offer any real advice and just generally make my IQ drop just by reading their stuff *sigh*

I hope I'm not one of those. I generally just post about things I like in your story, without offering advice really. >< Normally the only thing wrong I find is just typos. The only "problem" I can think of, is you seem to want to use "was" when "were" should have been used. Not all the time, but I've noticed it through out some chapters and other stories. Now I feel guilty for my reviews.

[krisslanza]

Phew I managed to get my review done before the computers auto shut down
I had to shorten it a bit. Gomen

You should read my stuff sometime Satashi-sama. xP

[Satashi]

I don't mind the so much "I liked it" one liners, those are good too. I mean the people who just rant and rant and rant about..nothing. here's an example. I wrote a story about a girl teaching a guy how to kiss. and this is the review I got

Spoiler for this is just sad:

Damn that brought back memories! something like this happen to me. I'm a typical guy and when I was a teenager I was a normal horny but scare and bewildered around girls, until one day when I was helping out a friends mom, who by the way was hot! she always used to flirt with us guys and with me she would hug me and pretend that I was her boyfriend, just to get a blush out of me at which point she would start to laugh and walk away. Well that day I was helping her move some boxes out to the garage and she afterwards offered me a coke, while sitting around she looked at me and just came out with the quesiton: have I ever been with a girl before, my reply was hell I havent even kiss one yet. Well she had me sit next to her on the couch and we went thru something like the what happen in the story before she stood up and reached out to me with her arm, I took it and she lead me into her bedroom (husband out of town) I was 17 she was 39. It only happen a couple of times but beside being very enjoyable she taught me so much: how to please a woman in bed and most important how to seduce a women into bed. she also once took me to local mall and while sitting on bench she would point out the different signs girls were giving their boyfriends and what they meant. I am no don juan but I had a very enjoyable sex life but now I'm in my late 40's and while I still like girls I dont have that all consuming desire to get one into bed, it aint totally gone, but its not that important either. but I still think back to that lady her name was dorothy and what she did for a lonely (and horny) teenage boy.

...WTF!? and it's a signed review so I can't get it taken down.

but anyway, as to Nanoha ones. This one really bothers me. (a review on latest SbtB chapter

Spoiler for .....:

Well, well, soldier...

This chapter was b-e-a-utiful.
So Fate-chan's havin' bad thoughts! Bad thoughts of Nanoha in lingerie! XD That part was AW3SOME!
Ah, "The Talk", huh? Poor Fate...oh the embarrassment.
The diary entries were enlightening to say the least. Very nice.

Anyway, Helluva job, soldier! You're doing great.

Semper-Fi! Carry on!

I just hate being talked to like I'm in some military camp (every review is like that). And the first review I got from him I thought "hey a military guy?" So I checked his profile and it seems to be a young teen who likes First person shooters. I messaged him and asked not to be given reviews like that ( my dad is a retired marine. ) because it kinda offended me. Well, he's still going strong. I'm happy he likes my stories, I really am... but man, can he just be a little better on respecting my wishes or offering some advice that doesn't sound like a drill sergeant?


And no, the people here are great. Specially you riddly ^^

[Riddly]

Originally Posted by Satashi

I don't mind the so much "I liked it" one liners, those are good too. I mean the people who just rant and rant and rant about..nothing. here's an example. I wrote a story about a girl teaching a guy how to kiss. and this is the review I got

Spoiler for this is just sad:

Damn that brought back memories! something like this happen to me. I'm a typical guy and when I was a teenager I was a normal horny but scare and bewildered around girls, until one day when I was helping out a friends mom, who by the way was hot! she always used to flirt with us guys and with me she would hug me and pretend that I was her boyfriend, just to get a blush out of me at which point she would start to laugh and walk away. Well that day I was helping her move some boxes out to the garage and she afterwards offered me a coke, while sitting around she looked at me and just came out with the quesiton: have I ever been with a girl before, my reply was hell I havent even kiss one yet. Well she had me sit next to her on the couch and we went thru something like the what happen in the story before she stood up and reached out to me with her arm, I took it and she lead me into her bedroom (husband out of town) I was 17 she was 39. It only happen a couple of times but beside being very enjoyable she taught me so much: how to please a woman in bed and most important how to seduce a women into bed. she also once took me to local mall and while sitting on bench she would point out the different signs girls were giving their boyfriends and what they meant. I am no don juan but I had a very enjoyable sex life but now I'm in my late 40's and while I still like girls I dont have that all consuming desire to get one into bed, it aint totally gone, but its not that important either. but I still think back to that lady her name was dorothy and what she did for a lonely (and horny) teenage boy.

...WTF!? and it's a signed review so I can't get it taken down.

but anyway, as to Nanoha ones. This one really bothers me. (a review on latest SbtB chapter

Spoiler for .....:

Well, well, soldier...

This chapter was b-e-a-utiful.
So Fate-chan's havin' bad thoughts! Bad thoughts of Nanoha in lingerie! XD That part was AW3SOME!
Ah, "The Talk", huh? Poor Fate...oh the embarrassment.
The diary entries were enlightening to say the least. Very nice.

Anyway, Helluva job, soldier! You're doing great.

Semper-Fi! Carry on!

I just hate being talked to like I'm in some military camp (every review is like that). And the first review I got from him I thought "hey a military guy?" So I checked his profile and it seems to be a young teen who likes First person shooters. I messaged him and asked not to be given reviews like that ( my dad is a retired marine. ) because it kinda offended me. Well, he's still going strong. I'm happy he likes my stories, I really am... but man, can he just be a little better on respecting my wishes or offering some advice that doesn't sound like a drill sergeant?


And no, the people here are great. Specially you riddly ^^

Wtf @ the life story review. That was more information than anyone wanted to know, I'm sure. And I'm glad my reviews aren't in the failure category. Not necessarily productive, but I do like to express my support towards your stories. I'll try to throw in some advice from now on.