The Genderbending of Haruhi Suzumiya [Spoilers Aplenty]

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Ithekro

Another piece to add to the "Bridge. Cross. Later." story line?

I consider all that part of the main story, ya know.

[DJ_RockmanX]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

I consider all that part of the main story, ya know.

The "incorporate everything" strategy again?

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by DJ_RockmanX

The "incorporate everything" strategy again?

Well, they're gaiden stories. Besides, it'd be a waste of dkellis' talent to not include them.

[DJ_RockmanX]

Originally Posted by Kaisos Erranon

Well, they're gaiden stories. Besides, it'd be a waste of dkellis' talent to not include them.

But of course. Perhaps we should write the gaiden stories in genderbent form, and it'll be up to Tanigawa and the other side to reverse them.

[Tyabann]

Another part... I couldn't finish the whole fight in time, so I got up to just Yuuki's appearance.

Spoiler for Chapter 5, Part 4: Asakura Fight, Part 1:

I wasn't at all surprised that someone was waiting inside the classroom, but I was shocked when I found out who it was. Standing in front of the blackboard was someone I would never even have considered.

"You're late."

Asakura Ryou smiled at me.

He flicked his beautiful silken hair and started walking down the aisle. His handsome face with that serene smile is really distracting.

Is this really a confession after all? Asakura, of all people?

He stopped in the center of the classroom, and waved towards me with a smile.

"Come in!"

I feel like I have no control over my body anymore. His wave caused me to let go of the door handle and stepped inside the room.

"S-So it's you..."

"Yes, surprised?"

Asakura smiled happily, the right side of his face turned red by the sunset shining in. My face is red too, though not for the same reason.

"Y-you wanted to talk t-to me?" Dammit, I sound like Asahina-senpai!

Asakura chuckled and replied. "Indeed, I was looking for you, I have something to ask you."

Asakura's attractive face, white and pure as the peaks of mountaintops, now turns towards me.

"Have you heard of the saying 'It is better to do it and regret than not do it at all'? You think that makes sense?"

What is he talking about? "I-I'm not really sure who said that, but I guess the meaning makes… sense…"

"If there exists a situation where staying in the status quo would make things worse, and you have no idea how to improve it, what would you do?"

"Um, improve what?" Is there a confession coming, or…

Ignoring my question, Asakura just smiled and continued,

"Wouldn't you have said that you should do it first and face the consequences later? Since nothing is going to change if things continue like this."

"Um, I-I guess so." Goddammit! Did I get my hopes up for nothing?

"That's what I meant."

Asakura, who had his hands behind his back, leaned slightly forward.

"However, since those above are incapable of thinking laterally, they are out of touch with the rapid changes in this reality, I'm compelled to do something in order to make things run smoothly. That's why, being in this reality, I have decided to act on my own and forcefully make some changes."

Um, sorry? What on Earth are you trying to say? Is this some sort of prank? I looked around the room, wondering whether Taniguchi is hiding in the cabinet holding the sweeping tools behind me, or whether she's sitting under the teacher's desk.

"I've grown tired of having to observe a changeless environment, that's why..."

I was so busy looking around that I didn't really hear what Asakura was saying.

"I have to kill you, and see what sort of reaction Suzumiya Haruki will have."

In an instant, Asakura moved his hands from behind his back, and a silvery metallic flash went past where my neck used to be. As I watched the ribbon on the front of my school uniform float slowly towards the ground, I heard the crash of the teacher’s desk collapsing a few feet away.

Smiling pleasantly, Asakura's right hand now held a katana nearly half my height.

I was very, very lucky to dodge the first strike. If I hadn’t, I’d probably have ended up like that desk. Right now, though, I'm on the ground on my backside, looking palely up at Asakura. ‘If I'm trapped, I won't be able to escape!’ was the thought that flashed through my mind, and I crawled backwards like a locust.

Why didn't Asakura chase after me?

...No, wait! What’s going on here? Why is someone as nice and pure as Asakura trying to gut me with a sword? Wait a second what did he just say? He wants to kill me? Kill me? But, why!? Why me!?

"S-stop joking around!" All I could say was that trademark [s]tsumokki[/I]sentence of mine. "T-that’s really dangerous! Even if it were fake, I’d still be really, really scared! Please put that that thing away!"

I was really terrified and confused. Taniguchi, if this is your doing, you’ve gone way too far! Someone, come and help me!

"You think I'm joking?" Asakura said in his normal cheerful tone, not sounding very serious at all. Anyone smiling at you while threatening your life with a sword is really scary. So now you all know exactly how completely terrified I was.

"Hmm…”

Asakura put the back of the katana to rest on his shoulder.

"You don't like dying? You don't want to die? The death of organic entities means nothing to me."

I slowly stand up. I had to keep on telling myself ‘this has to be a joke... just a bad joke…’ This is all too surreal. Asakura is the serious, responsible class president, who only talked when necessary in class, and faced every problem calmly and without panicking. He’s every girl’s dream. Why would he wave around a katana and say he wants to kill me all of a sudden?

Yet that thing is real, and I would be in two pieces if I weren’t careful.

"I-I don't understand what you're saying.” I said, cautiously. “This isn't funny anymore, OK? So please, just put that scary thing away!"

"I can't do that," Asakura smiled his usual perfect smile, "Because I really want you to die."

He lifted the katana above his head and brought it down. He's fast! This time I was prepared, though, because I got out of the way just in time. I heard the desk behind me shatter.

I rushed forward, my sights set on escaping through the door - yet I ended up hitting a wall instead.

W-what?!

Where’d the door go?! Even the windows are gone! There were supposed to be windows on the wall facing the corridor, but now it's just a thick grey wall.

No way!

"It's useless."

Asakura's voice grew closer from behind.

"I now have control of this area of space, so all exits have been blocked. It's quite easy, really. All I need to do is tamper with the molecular structure of the buildings on this planet and I can change their matter at will. This room has now become a sealed room, and there's no way in or out now."

I turned around and noticed that the sunset has gone as well. The whole room is surrounded by concrete walls, leaving only the white lamps shining coldy on the desks.

This can't be! This isn’t possible! What the hell is going on?

Asakura's silhouette moved slowly towards me.

"As your class president, I advise you to stop resisting; you're going to die anyway."

“W-what are you?!”

No matter how I looked, there were walls around me. There's not a single door, a single window, nothing! Is something wrong with my brain?

I frantically moved between the desks, trying to get as far from Asakura as possible. Yet Asakura just walked towards me in a straight line, smashing the desks and chairs aside with a swing or two of that katana. Unlike him, my path was always blocked.

The cat and mouse chase didn't last long, and eventually I was cornered.

Well, if that was how it was going to be, I decided to take a risk and threw a fallen chair at Asakura with all my strength, yet it turned in the air right in front of Asakura, and flew off to the other end of the room.

This is impossible, INCONCIEVABLEjust impossible!

"Impressive strength for such a little girl, but resistance is futile. Everything in this room now moves according to my will."

Wait... Wait!

“Nothing you do has any meaning. It’s useless.”

What is going on here? If this isn't a joke or a prank, and neither Asakura nor me were crazy, then what’s going on?

I have to kill you, and see what sort of reaction Suzumiya Haruki will have.

Why is it Haruki, again? Aren’t you getting a bit too popular, Haruki?
"Sigh… I should've done this from the beginning."

After Asakura said those words, my whole body froze in place. H-hey! No fair! That’s haxcheating!

My feet are rooted to the ground like a tree, unable to move. My arms are fixed like a wax statue - I can't even move my fingers. All I could do was look at Asakura’s face as he slowly approached me.

"Once you die, Suzumiya Haruki is bound to have some sort of reaction. This might create a massive data explosion from which we could salvage something. This could be the chance in a lifetime for us."

I still have no idea what you’re talking about!

“But first…” he smiled. “Let’s have some fun.”

Great. All I wanted was a confession, and now I’m going to be raped and die. Just great. If I have any hidden magical sailor powers, now would be a great time for them to manifest.

“First, let’s improve your appearance a little.” Asakura brought the katana up behind my head. I felt him cut the tie holding my hair up, which came down in one smooth motion.

“Ah, there. Much better. You look a lot nicer with your hair down. Makes you look more wild.” Asakura continued to smile kindly at me.

And no special powers have appeared. Also, the irony hits me like that katana is probably going to. The only guy to hit on me also happens to be a magical sword-wielding psycho. Just my luck.

Asakura brought the katana down again, between my legs. Oh dear god please no.

“Hmm, I could have some more fun with you and my katana… but that’d be boring. I don’t even get to hear you scream. No, it’d be better if I just finished you off now.”

I don’t know whether to be relieved or not. Hey, if I have a magical protector watching over me, now would be a great time to appear, too.

"Now, die."

Asakura lifted the katana above his head again, readying for an overhead strike. At least let me close my eyes… No, I can't do that.

Wait… w-what’s this now?

I suddenly felt the air shake. As the katana began to lower…

The ceiling gave out a loud cracking noise, followed by debris falling down. Some of which fell on my head - that hurts! Dammit!

I was covered in white dust by the large amount of continuously falling debris. Not like you haven’t already ruined my uniform enough, Asakura… I wanted to see what was happening to him, but I couldn’t move… no, wait! I can move again!?

I lifted my head and discovered…!

A shocked Asakura - just as he’s about to slice me in half. Standing in front of me, catching the blade with just two bare fingers, is the slim figure of Nagato Yuuki.

[Kang Seung Jae]

Only 4 pages in 15 hours?

[Kogetsu Shirogane]

"Standing in front of me, catching the blade with just two bare fingers, is the slim figure of Nagato Yuuki."

... and with one little sentence, Yuuki goes from quiet bookworm to silent badass... beautiful, simply beautiful...

On a related note, it'd probably be funny if, during the awkward after-the-battle scene, Kyonko(or Yuuki for added humor) ends up mentioning the cliché of the D.I.D. kissing the guy who just risked his life to save her. Of course, that's just my opinion on the matter, and you don't have to use it if you don't want.

*e* Ignore that. The problems it would cause later on aren't really worth the humor and/or foreshadowing it offers.

[CrowKenobi]

SOS-Dan character size comparisons:

Spoiler for tidiness:

So, based off of earlier talk:

Kyonko: 154 cm
Itsuko: 160 cm
Haruki: 178 cm
Yuuki: 170 cm
Mitsuuru: 158 cm
Ryou: 170 cm

Comments?

[Kang Seung Jae]

Originally Posted by CrowKenobi

SOS-Dan character size comparisons:

Spoiler for tidiness:

So, based off of earlier talk:

Kyonko: 154 cm
Itsuko: 160 cm
Haruki: 178 cm
Yuuki: 170 cm
Mitsuuru: 158 cm
Ryou: 170 cm

Comments?

No, I say:

Kyonko: 156 cm
Itsuko: 162 cm
Haruki: 178 cm
Yuuki: 175 cm
Mitsuuru: 162 cm

[ClockWorkAngel]

Part Nine, two more to go.

Spoiler for Remote Island Syndrome Part Nine:

As I woke up suddenly, no in reality I was still dazed; I could hear Haruki’s voice faintly. It seemed that I had also pulled down Haruki with me, though he said something on the lines of “I jumped down to save you.” He have brought me to a cave; a lucky find? Or maybe some divine intervention? As I regained conscious we had walked back outside.
“What did you find oh great brigade chief?”
I “asked” him.
“You’re fine now right?”
“I thought you’ve saved me.”
“Only if you want me to.”
This cheeky conversation shouldn’t be even taking place in such a situation.
“The boat doesn’t seem to be here anymore.”
He said while pointing at the empty port. Yutaka-san had probably really already left.
“I guess we shouldn’t have gone outside, I guess, you even got hurt; are you sure you’re alright?”
He tells me, keep it up and you might convince me that you’re worried about me. It was quite obvious that we wasted time walking in this storm, after all Yutaka-san had probably left hours ago. Haruki had started walking back, though his hold on my hand became ever more uncomfortably tighter…

It took us longer to get back into the mansion, as we’ve managed to carefully go up the island. As we opened the door, which was much easier to push as the wind was not pushing against us, Mori-san stood a few meters in front of us with towels. Was he waiting for us?
"Please, use these."
He stared at us, as he offered the folded towels to us. He asked us about our findings;
"What did you find?"
"You were right. We really should have listened to you right?”
Haruki wiped his hair with the offered towel. His dissatisfied tone clearly didn’t want to admit his own fervor as a mistake.
"The boat's gone, but we don't know when."
Mori-san returned a small smile. Perhaps this shows his professionalism? Though I’m sure the murder of Keiichi-san and the disappearance of Yutaka-san must have shocked him, he is acting as if nothing has happen. He seems to be quite committed; I guess I should expect this from a butler-for-hire. As I wiped my face, for a second I saw his youthful face fluctuate. I wonder what he’s thinking? As we returned the towels he bowed and offered to escort us back to our rooms. We both declined his offer and he walked slowly down the halls. Haruki suddenly said something; as Mori-san walked out of ear-shot.
“I’m going to take a shower now.”
This sudden voice again? It’s becoming creepy now Haruki.
“But come to my room later alright?”
Never mind, I see it’s far too late.
"We should all stay together. We’ll be safer that way. I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happens to anyone here."
Haruki stopped midway up the stairs. Somehow amongst all his nonsense, I could understand what he was trying to say. Though he had really seem to be one to have a hero complex.
I waited him to go up by himself and hurried up to my room. As I changed, I reflected on ever thing which happen. Somehow it doesn’t make sense at all, but I can’t really say that right? I walked to Haruki’s room and I saw him talking to Koizumi.
"Welcome back!"
Koizumi said cheerfully with her usual smile.
"What are you two doing outside?"
I asked as he was still soaked. He didn’t to have moved as the spot he stood was soaked with water.
"I had wanted to come to Suzumiya-san's room to discuss what we should do next, but Nagato-san wouldn't let me in."
She said with a seemingly embarrassed tone. What? Such an innocent voice? Have you been scheming?
"Why?"
"I’ll show you, watch.”
Haruhi knocked on the door.
"Yuuki, it's me, open the door!"
After a brief pause, Nagato-san's monotone voice came from behind the door.
" That would not comply with the previously issued orders, I was instructed not to open the door for anyone."
Asahina-san still seems to be sleeping. Haruki pulled off the wet towel to the ground and started demanding the door to open.
"Yuuki! Everything’s alright now! You can open the door!."
"That would be a violation of the aforementioned order."
Haruhi looked at me with a frustrated look and shrugged it off.
"Yuuki, that was for anyone but us!"
"I interpreted that you did not want anyone to go into this room, you did not mention your addition, therefore I feel no reason that I should comply with the new orders for it would infringe on the previous order." [Author’s Notes: I’m referring to the “Definite Logic Theory” which means that the validity of the first statement when there are ever two or more statements is always constant and therefore definite. Any following statements’ validity is inconsistent and therefore is indefinite. The initial intent of the theory was to solve paradoxes. The statement “The next statement is true. The above statement is false” is reasoned as that the second statement is true regardless of what it implies, whatever the second statement implies does not need to be taken in consideration. This is to link with causality; which a first statement must exist in order for a second statement to cause a paradox.]
Nagato-san’s voice has always reminded me of a prophet who was constantly in a trance.
"Hey, Nagato-san!"
I decided to cut in, maybe he’d listen to me?
"Haruhi has cancelled that order. If you don't believe it, I’ll repeat that order right now, so please, open the door."
Nagato-san had always had the curious of habit of thinking or processing anything I say to him for longer than I would expect. Isn’t he supposed to be an alien with an ability to think which would surpass any genius? Sometimes, I can’t really understand you at all Nagato-san. He opened the door slowly, I know this because I could hear the creaking of the hinges.
"......"
Nagato-san stared blankly into our head, looking through my eyes perhaps he’s analyzing my brain? He backed to let us in.
"Yuuki! You gotta be more flexible! You don’t have to take everything word for word ya know!!"
Haruki entered first and said
“I’m going to shower, just wait here for a while?”
I nodded and entered. Koizumi didn’t enter and told us,
“I’ll be back later.” and winked at me.
"See you later then, Koizumi."
Haruki said as he entered the washroom.
Sitting down on the free bed opposite of the sleeping Asahina-san and the blank Nagato-san I began to wonder, was this all just a prank? This tall alien still stared blankly into a wall, his ebony eyes seem endless, though I guess I shouldn’t keep staring at you. You don’t have to go this far Nagato-san, no one can tell if it’s a joke if you just keep that blank expression with you all the time. Can’t you just smile? Or at least pretend to like Koizumi? You’ll look better that way. And above all else; this isn’t the time to be pulling pranks, right?

[Jintor]

So, uh, 4 days of nothing and suddenly four things to edit at once. (Love the story Dkellis).

That's great.

That's great guys.

I'll get on the editjob after I finish this short story.

[Discreet]

Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae

No, I say:

Kyonko: 156 cm
Itsuko: 162 cm
Haruki: 178 cm
Yuuki: 175 cm
Mitsuuru: 162 cm

Kyonko: 156 cm
Itsuko: 162 cm
Haruki: 174 cm
Yuuki: 172 cm
Mitsuuru: 160 cm
Ryou: 174 cm

Just adding my two cents.

That being said I don't think Haruki should be freakishly tall (for a Japanese kid) at all. He should definitely be the tallest, but if he's too tall then he'd just look ridiculous standing next to anyone else.

[Kang Seung Jae]

Originally Posted by Discreet

That being said I don't think Haruki should be freakishly tall (for a Japanese kid) at all. He should definitely be the tallest, but if he's too tall then he'd just look ridiculous standing next to anyone else.

178 cm isn't that freakish anymore. The average Japanese high school male student is aroun 170 cm now.

Plus, the male Koizumi is 178 cm.

[unmoldedtruck]

Here's my editjob of Chapter 5 Part 3:

Spoiler for Chapter 5 Part 3 bb edit:

Yet, from this moment onwards, strange things were set into motion. Because it wasn’t such a big deal yet, no one else had noticed, but I'd been thinking about it all day, ever since homeroom.

You see, while I was talking to Haruki, I was thinking about something else. It all began with a note that was left in my shoe locker this morning.

The note said "After school when everyone else has left, come to the 1-5 classroom."

The handwriting was angular and archaic-looking. It was probably a guy’s handwriting.


------


What the hell is this about? The differing opinions in my mind decided to hold an emergency meeting.

The first said, "This has happened before," but the handwriting was different from the one on the bookmark. Nagato, who claims to be a “Living Humanoid Interface” for the aliens, has handwriting so perfect it’s like a computer typed it out , yet this note, although written with good penmanship, isn’t so flawless. Besides, Nagato wouldn’t be so direct as to stick a note in my shoe locker.

The second said, "Could it be Asahina-senpai?" No, if it's Asahina-senpai, I doubt he’d just tear off a piece of paper and throw it in my locker without at least putting a time on it. He seems the sort of person who’d use an envelope, too.

Moreover, it was strange that the location is my classroom. "It can't be Haruki!?" said the third opinion. That's even more impossible. If Haruki had anything to say to me, he’s probably just carry me off shouting Washoi! Washoi!to the staircase and tell me directly.

Based on the same reasoning, I eliminated Itsuko from the equation as well.
Finally, a fourth opinion, stronger and louder than all the others, said, "Could it be a love letter from some stranger?" It makes sense. The writer specified that I should come “after everyone else is gone” and it was stuffed in my shoe locker, exactly the place you’d normally put a confession note.

Still, in all my years of school, I’ve never gotten one of these. Why should they start coming now? I don’t think I’m any better looking than I was in junior high.

It could just be a prank by Taniguchi and Kunikida. Yeah, that sounds more realistic. Taniguchi would play a stupid joke on me like that, but I think she would have written more.

While thinking about all this, I wandered aimlessly around the school. After class, Haruki said he was going to go home and “punch something”. Chance!

[Editor’s note: Feel free to change that last bit. I just figured I’d make a small reference to FLCL.]

I decided to go to the clubroom first, as I’d look like an idiot waiting for ages in the classroom for some unknown stranger to show up. If all of a sudden Taniguchi suddenly came in and said, "Hey, you’re still waiting? I can't believe you'd fall for that, you’re so naive!" I'd be really pissed. Kill some time first, go and have a peek in the classroom, and then go in after making sure no one is around. Yeah, that’s the perfect strategy.

I arrived at the clubroom entrance. This time, I remembered to knock.

"Please come in." Once I heard Asahina-senpai's voice, I opened the door. Regardless of how wrong it may be, he still looks cute in that maid costume.

"Took you awhile to arrive… where's Suzumiya-san?" he said, pleasantly
Looks like he’s brewing tea again.


"He went home. Actually, he seemed pretty tired. If you want to get some revenge, I’d do it now."

Asahina-senpai looked flustered. "I-I wouldn’t d-do anything like that!"

I was only joking, Asahina-senpai.

We sat face to face and drank our tea in the room with Nagato reading.Without Haruki, we are a Brigade with no clear aim or goal in mind.

"Itsuko still hasn't arrived?" I asked.

"Koizumi-san came earlier, but she said she’s got her part time job today, so she already left."

What kind of part-time job, exactly? Well, at least now I can confidently cross out Itsuko and Haruki from my suspect list on who wrote the note.

Since I had nothing to do but wait, I played some Othello with Asahina-senpai and chatted with him. After winning three games, I stopped playing and went to surf the internet to read the news, and at this moment, Nagato closed his book. Recently, we've taken this action of his as a sign that it's time to call it a day for club activities (though what those are is still unclear), and we all began to pack and leave.

"I need to change, so you go on first." After Asahina-senpai said that, I left the room and proceeded to my classroom.

The clock says half past five, so I guess there shouldn't be anyone left in the classroom. Even if it was a prank by Taniguchi, she’d have gone home after getting bored from waiting for so long. Despite that, I still ran up the two flights of stairs to the top floor, just to make sure. I mean, what if it really is a confession?

I breathed deeply in the silent corridor. The classroom doors have stained windows, so I couldn’t see anything inside. All I could see is that the sunset has stained the room a pretty orange-red color. Casually, I opened the 1-5 classroom door and stuck my head inside.

[CrowKenobi]

Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae

178 cm isn't that freakish anymore. The average Japanese high school male student is aroun 170 cm now.

Plus, the male Koizumi is 178 cm.

However tall Haruki is, he should be the tallest of the SOS-Dan members with Yuuki a close second. and Kyonko the shortest...



Anyway, I think that we could pattern Ryou Asakura's hairstyle after Macross Frontier's Alto Saotome...

[Discreet]

Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae

178 cm isn't that freakish anymore. The average Japanese high school male student is aroun 170 cm now.

Plus, the male Koizumi is 178 cm.

Shoot, that's right.

Okay nevermind, Haruki, 178 is a-okay.

EDIT:

And since we're on chapter five... I'd like to raise the issue on Yuuki's glasses reconstruction.

Spoiler:

That comic conveys my feelings on the matter quite accurately.

[shaoron]

Looking at Yuuki reminds me of Tezuka (prince of tennis)

[Kristen]

"Dear Diary,

Sorry about yesterday... I had so much great stuff written down for you, but I sneezed all over you. I couldn't let you just get all dirty on the inside, could I? I had to clean you all up and stuff, so by the time I got to writing, it was already too late. Midnight had already struck, and cinderalla lost her slipper!

So, about my sneezies... Well, the Cherry Blossoms are out! I walked on that place where Minoru first confessed to me and all about being from the future, and the cherry blossoms were all there. It's just... I'm allergic to Cherry Blossoms. So, while Haruki wants to go drive around to the best place to see them, I need to pack myself some tissues. Maybe Itsuko has a magical cure? Well, she does, yes, but that's for after.

By the way, my brother told me that he heard some groaning at the sleepover... Thank gosh he didn't peak. But, I just told him that we were just doing each other's hair, and we pulled too hard a couple of time. I mean, it's the truth after all... We just weren't doing each other's hair in the sense he thought.

Gah... Darn the Cherry Blossoms! *Sneeze*
Kyon-ko"

[Jintor]

Long Time Editjob Get! Chapter Five, Part Two!

Spoiler for tl;dr:

When I returned to the clubroom, I stumbled across Asahina-senpai half-undressed inside.

"..."

I froze, one hand on the door handle. He stared at me, the maid costume in one hand, and slowly opened his mouth to scream.

"Sorry-!"

Before he had the chance to cry out, I pulled the foot that was in the room back and slammed the door shut. Maybe I should've knocked first. No, hang on, if he's changing, then he should've locked the door!

Just as I was wondering whether I should simply just go home, a soft voice came from the other side of the door. "You can come in now..."

"Sorry." I said, wincing a little. Embarrassing.

"No, no, it doesn't matter... I should have locked the door..."

My sentiments exactly.

Asahina-senpai continued to apologize as he opened the door. His head was lowered, and he was blushing. "Sorry, I always show my embarrassing side..."

It's no problem, really. He's really obedient, isn't he? Wearing that maid costume like Haruki ordered, even though he hates it...

But that's what makes him so cute!

I quickly moved to the commander's seat and booted up the computer. Sensing somebody watching me, I lifted my head to find Nagato Yuuki's eyes fixed on me, instead of his book. When he noticed me watching him, he adjusted his glasses ever so slightly and turned his eyes back towards the pages once more.

That's... surprisingly human of him.

I opened the internet browser and went to the club webpage, trying to think of something to add to the site, but I had no idea where to start. This webpage was really just a waste of time... but I was bored. I'd gotten tired of Othello, and I needed to kill time somehow.

As I crossed my arms over my chest and muttered under my breath, somebody placed a cup of warm tea in front of me. I glanced up to find Asahina-senpai in his maid costume smiling nervously at me, carefully balancing a tea tray in one hand.

Wow. Exactly like a real maid.

"Thanks."

Itsuko had just treated me to a cup of coffee, but I will gladly accept this from you, Asahina-senpai!

Asahina-senpai placed another cup next to Nagato (who didn't even look up), and then sat down and began to slowly sip his own cup of tea.

Time passed.

In the end...

...Haruki never came to the clubroom at all that day.


------

"Hey, where'd you go yesterday? I thought we were going to have some sort of debriefing?"

I was speaking with Haruki before homeroom, as usual. Lying sprawled over the desk, his chin to the table, Haruki flashed me an annoyed look.

"Bah! I already had the debriefing on my own yesterday!"

I guess Haruki must've retraced everywhere we'd gone last Saturday after school instead of coming to the clubroom.

"You guys probably missed something, so I went through those places again by myself." he muttered, avoiding my eyes. Who was it that said “criminals always return to the scene of the crime?” I guess that applies to aliens, time travelers, and espers as well. And Haruki.

“So, did you find anything?” I asked.

“...It's all part of the plan, all part of the plan...” Haruki mumbled into the desk, not lifting his head. Is that a no? Do you even really have a plan?

Haruki suddenly flung himself off the desk and back into his chair. "Arrrgh, it's hot as hell!" he saidsuddenly. Changing the subject, eh? "When is the school gonna switch uniforms? I wanna wear our short sleeves already!"

I glanced at his rolled up sleeves. They don't change seasonal wear until June, anyway, and there's a week left before the end of May...

"Suzumiya. Look." I said. "I've probably said this before, but have you ever considered just... giving up on all this paranormal stuff and trying to live a normal high school life?"

I thought he'd lift his head and scowl at me, as usual, but he didn't even move. He must be really exhausted. "A normal high school life? What kind of life is that?" he asked the table.

He doesn’t sound interested at all.

"Something like... settling down, finding a nice, normal girlfriend, you know? Although I guess you might stumble across an alien while you're dating. It'd be like killing two birds with one stone." I said, smiling at the thought. "Besides, I bet there's plenty of girls lining up for you right now. You just gotta be patient and that special someone will come 'round eventually."

Haruki lifted his head up from the desk and just looked at me for a few seconds. "Hmph, like it matters!" he said, after a moment of silence. "Love! It's stupid! It's like... like some sort of mental illness!"

Then what about your quest for an alien bride, or whatever, then?

Haruki looked out the window. "I do think about that sorta stuff, though. I’m a healthy guy, after all. But there’s no way I’m just gonna ask some stupid girl out and be saddled with a huge burden forever! ‘Sides, if I’m too busy going on dates, what’s gonna happen to my SOS Brigade? I just founded it!"

Technically, you haven't actually founded it at all.

"Look, why not create a club that involves some form of actual entertainment? That would attract more members for sure."

"No." Haruki flatly refused. "I only founded the SOS Brigade because all the other clubs were too boring, and I've even recruited an interesting experiment like Mitsuuru-kun and a Mysterious Transfer Student, too! Why hasn't anything happened yet?! This is so frustrating…!”

This is the first time I've seen Haruki this depressed. A big guy like that looking so pathetic makes me feel depressed too...

I need to stop letting this get to me.

Instead of paying attention, Haruki spent the rest of the day sleeping soundly. The weird thing is, though, that the teachers never noticed.

It's got to be a coincidence. It's just got to be.

ARGH I SERIOUSLY CANNOT BE BOTHERED ATM

What I've done so far kept so I can further edit it later.

/EDIT OK I FINISHED KAY HAPPY? D:

[Tyabann]

Originally Posted by Kang Seung Jae

No, I say:

Kyonko: 156 cm
Itsuko: 162 cm
Haruki: 178 cm
Yuuki: 175 cm
Mitsuuru: 162 cm

I still say that Kyon-chan is too tall, and that Haruki is too short.

Kyon-chan: 154 cm
Haruki: 180 cm

I will accept nothing else!

(And I'm still taller than Haruki...)

Originally Posted by Jintor

The maid costume in one hand, Asahina-senpai stared at me standing frozen toe spot with his hand on the door knob.

...What?