Not to babies, they're not. And those are what breasts are for primarily ...
Bah. Babies are overrated. They're just ugly little balls of fat that defecate all over the place and scream a lot. Good thing babies only last a few years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Megex
In fact, most mammals have no breasts at all. Just nipples.
So, to phrase beanbag's words better and in a form that would be most likely to be heard from him: "Breasts are overrated."
XD
Large breasts are overrated. I almost said that though.
Okay, I have ... something. A page or two ago, DJRockmanX said if anyone had an idea for Haruki (and/or others) to use reverse psychology to make Kyonko agree to wearing the maid outfit, they should speak up. Here it comes:
Spoiler:
What if Haruki decided to host a tea party at the SOS dan clubroom for some people? He could call it a fundraiser, or a special activity for the cultural festival or what have you. And of course he advertises 'service by the moe maid of the SOS dan'. Kyonko comes upon a Mitsuuru who is in tears and close to going catatonic with horror at the thought of being forced to wear the maid outfit in front of his classmates and other students. Itsuko tells Kyonko that Haruki made sure to invite lots of people who know Mitsuuru, Kyonko knows Haruki won't budge on the maid café idea ...
And so, when the first guests come trickling in, we have a very pissed-off Kyonko wearing the maid outfit.
Kyonko *glum*: "Geez, why do I have to do this? After this is over, I'm hiding out in the auditorium, nobody should be there to remind me of this embarrassment!"
After the rock concert, Haruki and Kyonko meet up.
Kyonko: "Well ... You actually didn't look like an idiot up there."
Haruki: "Heh, we rocked! And, to be nice, I'll tell you that you didn't look too bad dressed as our moe maid. From now on, I designate you the SOS dan's standby maid! Whenever Mitsuuru-kun is unavailable, that duty passes to you! Be grateful."
Kyonko *irked*: "I am just so grateful ... At least the stupid thing fit reasonably well."
Haruki: "Did you expect less? I had it tailored to your measurements, of course. Itsuko gave them to me after she took you on that shopping trip she told me about."
Kyonko *doubly irked*: "... What?" How did you even know I was going to put it on, you bastard?
Haruki *smirking*: "Heh, how could you have acted differently? For such a flat girl, you sure are motherly towards Mitsuuru-kun." *strums guitar*
Are you saying you played me like that guitar?! I take it back! You're an idiot! You look like an idiot! You smell like an idiot! Idiot!
Haruki: "Are you shouting at me or yourself? Anyway, enough of that. Thank you for working hard and getting us funds for the new SOS dan music video!"
Kyonko: "I'll never be in it!"
Haruki: "Sure you will, maid outfit, neko mimi, neko shippou and all! I'll even find you some glasses!"
Kyonko: "I hate you!"
Small edits to Kaisos' work. Just some beauty spots. By the way, weren't we going to have Yuuki 'slip and fall against Kyon' in the Seitenkan version, rather than have him be anemic? He looks a little too strapping in all the fanart.
*snip*
I think the explanation of anemia to be much funnier than anything I can come up with, especially because it's such an obvious lie.
The "trip and fall against Kyon-chan" thing seems a bit too sterotypical, to me, and I've always seen Yuuki as very, very thin, for some reason.
As for your comments in the edit itself, a) Taniguchi has been in Haruki's class for years, and Kyon-chan wanted to make sure she wasn't an esper, (This is in the original, by the way) and b) Sure, she thinks it's safe. The folder is passworded, (can you even do that on XP? I've been trying and I can't figure out how) and she doesn't know that Haruki can figure out her password easily.
Also, I don't think that she has a computer at home, so...
Haruki: "Sure you will, maid outfit, neko mimi, neko shippou and all! I'll even find you some glasses!"
. . . . . . being associated with this project is becoming far too dangerous to my mental stability...
__________________
WARNING: Kogetsu Shirogane cannot be held accountable for any actions taken by someone else. Potential side effects of communicating with this user include headaches, mild confusion, insanity, delirium, and jumping into fires. Do not expose this user to sunlight or water or feed this user after midnight.
. . . . . . being associated with this project is becoming far too dangerous to my mental stability...
wait.. you figured THAT out just nao!?
with all the crack dangos around us!?
__________________
I am never gonna say good bye,
never run around is my body, never desert you is my blood
unknown to telling lies, nor known to hurting you
have rolled the rick over nine thousand times
yet never gonna give you up
so as I sing, UNLIMITED RICKROLL WORKS
I'm usually able to keep a fair level of "sanity," (hence why I said "becoming") but that particular mental image is really pushing things.
__________________
WARNING: Kogetsu Shirogane cannot be held accountable for any actions taken by someone else. Potential side effects of communicating with this user include headaches, mild confusion, insanity, delirium, and jumping into fires. Do not expose this user to sunlight or water or feed this user after midnight.
May 9th:
- The thread had its 9000th post
- Discussion of Itsuko's lesbianism
May 10th:
- BLR part 1 written (by Shaoron)
May 11th:
- Discussion about syllable emphasis in names
- Remote Island Syndrome Part Ten A written (by ClockWorkAngel)
May 12th:
- Discussion of Game endings
- Chapter 6 part 3 written (by Kaisos)
- Chapter 6 final written (by Kaisos)
- Discussion of Itsuko's lesbianism (again)
- BLR part 2 and 3 written (by Shaoron)
May 13th:
- Aebliss edits some of Kaisos' work
May 14th:
- Discreet edits some of Kaisos' work
- Discussion on Itsuko's laugh
May 15th:
- Discussion on laughs continue
- Discreet edits some of Kaisos' laugh
- I arrive (Sorry, had to note that)
- Discussion on spelling
-Pictures of a Kyonko doujin provided by Shinn 87
Mind you, all of these are written according to my time zone (GMT+10), so some dates may be off.
For some reason, although I'd put up a lot of upside-down Teru teru bozu just to make sure it would be pouring, it had to be totally clear on the dawn of the next day. I even made a giant one out of my curtains. My brother freaked out when he saw it and thought I was starting some sort of suicide cult ... No doubt the cicadas would be jittery over the highest temperature of the summer.
"Cicadas are edible, right? It might taste real good if we fry them into tempura. Ahh, this suddenly occurs to me, maybe tempura's so great because of the flour coating? If it is, then cicada tempura must be tasty."
You try that yourself!
The scene of five high school students of varying heights heading off together with a net and a cage each to go after bugs can only be described as somewhat bizarre.
We gathered before noon. In order to search for greens, we went to North High, since the school is on top of a hill that has trees but not much else. This makes it a good place for bugs, as they thrive in forests or woods. From the looks of it, even if I live in a fairly busy city, it's not so dismal that cicadas won't cry.
[Urge to write SHnY/Higurashi no naku koro ni crossovere fanfic ... rising!]
Tree trunk after tree trunk was packed with the screeching bugs, as if there were an infestation of cicadas. It was grab-as-you-go there. Asahina-san found a harvest with just a couple of furious swipes with his net. This shows that the cicadas there did not realize that humans are the animal to watch out for most of all. Fine, then, today is shock therapy time.
“See! I told you my manliness training is extremely effective!”
Will you stop it with that?
I bent to look at the still cicadas within the cage after having filled it in no time. I have no idea how many years they'd stayed underground, but no doubt they did not toil to maturity just to be fried by Haruki. I felt a sense of melancholy from the weakening cries of the summer bugs, and the feeling of carrying the sin of deceit crept in on me. I apologize for destroying your homes with paved cement roads. I hope you can somewhat forgive mankind's insolence.
I knew that it was impossible for Haruki to hear my mental soliloquy, but that man said the following:
"The spirit of catch-and-release is still much needed. Let's spare 'em. Maybe in the future they'll return the favor."
I felt weak the moment I imagined man-sized cicadas knocking at our doors. If there were insects that would return the favor after witnessing us capturing their brethren and setting them free later on, they would be as idiotic as insects. If they came for revenge, I think they would actually be smarter.
Haruki opened the cage and shook it left and right.
"Go! Go back to the mountains!"
Jijiji- the cicadas crowded and pushed inside the cage as they scrambled to fly out. Asahina let out a cute cry as he knelt down. Where's your manliness training now, Haruki?
“Even men need a cut battle cry.”
That was a battle cry?
The swarm twirled around Asahina-san for quite some time and swept past the still head of Nagato, following a spiral pattern or flying in a line as they disappeared into a sky dyed red by the setting sun.
I opened the cage like Haruki did. I felt as if I were Pandora, who opened that box delivered by Hermes accidentally. The thought of keeping at least one cicada hit me only after all the cicadas had vanished into thin air.
One more thing my brother would miss, I suppose.
The event for the following day was part-time work.
Haruki somehow managed to find work, and made sure that we all had a share. That one-day employment was -
"W... Welcome!"
Asahina-san seemed to squeeze out the greeting.
"C'mon, everybody line up! Ahhahh... Don't push!"
The job that Haruki stuffed down our throats was to attract customers for an annual sale at a local supermarket.
We met without a clue as to what we were in for and suited up in the uniforms that Haruki handed to us. After that, we had been carrying out promotion activities since ten in the morning.
By the way, all of us were stuffed into costumes.
Why is this happening... Why must I be embarrassed like this? It's usually Asahina-san's duty to cheer people up with hundreds of getups, isn't it? Koizumi, Nagato, what is with you two? Would it kill you to raise even the slightest of objections? Why would you simply bear that man's whims?
"Please line uppu~ Thank juu for your cooperation!"
Hearing Asahina-san's thick tongued voice beneath a green uniform that covered his body only made me sweat like a pig even more!
We were all dressed up as frogs. To be more precise, frogs that give out balloons to children. This supermarket does this kind of thing every year for its anniversary -- handing out free balloons to the infants that accompany the customers.
Kids are kids. They squirm in excitement after receiving this kind of petty gift which is designed to fool them. Hey, dumb kid over there, take a balloon. It's a red balloon. The red balloon is red, just take it and go.
Asahina-san the tree frog proved the most popular. As an aside, Koizumi was a golden frog and I was a toad (What else would I be?). Nagato the amazon hornfrog operated the pump that filled up the balloons, which the three of us handed out. Haruki, however, sat in the shade in casual attire. If we were all to be paid on the same wage, I would be lashing out right about now. Making a delicate girl like me sweat like a pig in a stinking toad costume while you sit there like a king -- or a frog prince, perhaps? -- giving us orders while holding a bottle of cold juice (which I wouldn't be surprised if he swiped it from the supermarket).
It appeared that the lady who owned the store was an acquaintance of Haruki's. She greeted him with a smile whenever he called out "auntie~" oh-so-sweetly.
The balloons were all handed out within two hours. Save Haruki, all of us shed our exoskeletons so we could vent the heat in the rest area, which looked like a storage room. At that moment, I understood the feelings of snakes that shed their skin. It is a rarity for me to experience such a profound sense of relief.
Nagato took off the frog suit quickly, while Asahina-san and Koizumi were totally soaked and literally shook off their suits. They remained silent for a long while.
"Fuu~"
I didn't even have the energy to enjoy Asahina-san wearing a thin sports vest and short shorts as he sat down.
"Good job!-"
I had a sudden urge to bury Haruk from neck to toe on the shore of a beach and watch him drown with the coming of the tide when he appeared in our midst, licking an ice cream.
Evidently, our wages had been pledged to the treefrog suit. I realized that Haruki had the suit in his mind all along when he calmly announced this news. I should have seen it as he squeezed the empty suit under his armpit with an expression like that of a knight awarded with thousands of gold bullion. The wages never existed. And I wanted to buy a new pair of underwear.
"What's so bad about this? I've really wanted it. Now this dream has come true. Auntie says that she'll hand this to me on account of Mitsuuru-kun. Mitsuuru-kun, I will hand you a self-made badge. You'll have to wait though, since I haven't made it yet."
Thus, one more piece of garbage could be added to Asahina-san's possessions. I imagined that this particular piece of junk would be a cuff that has "badge" written on it.
However-
"This frog suit is going to be a keepsake in the Brigade classroom. Mitsuuru-kun, you can wear this whenever you like. I grant you this privilege!"
I couldn't show my anger because I was just so suffused with rage from Haruki's expressions at that moment. Not to mention I was dead tired and all sweaty.
To my annoyance, Haruki looked from the suit to me next, stroking his chin. What the hell do you want, you annoying bastard? What are you looking at? Now why are you shaking your head and sighing? Hey!
I was bushed. Nonstop activities, first with swimming, then bug catching, and finally the sauna bath in costumes, would drive the healthiest of high school females to the ground.
This is why I asked for nothing more than sound sleep for the night. I could still feel the peace from Arcadia when the mobile phone rang.
There is nothing more infuriating than a pointless midnight call that disturbs your sleep. Whoever makes calls during the heat of the night must lack common sense, and out of everyone I know, only Haruki lacks common sense. I really wanted to scream at that man for waking me from my dazed sleep. To my surprise, when I pressed the talk button, the voice that came through belonged to -
"...Uuu(cry)... Uuu(soft cry)..."
The cry of an effeminate man gave me goosebumps. My senses returned to me suddenly. Shoot, wrong number.
Just as I was about to toss my phone -
"Kyon-chan..."
Although the throat was choked up, I could still identify the voice of Asahina-san.
Goosebumps broke out once more, but it had a different meaning this time.
"Hello, is that Asahina-san?"
Was he bidding me farewell with this call? Kaguya-hime needed to return to the Lunar palace? I was well aware that "here" was but a temporary dwelling for Asahina-san and that he must return to the future someday. Would the time be now? I would not agree with him simply uttering a farewell before leaving.
Although the man on the other end of the line was -
"It's me... Uwaaa, it's horrible... Uuu... Ugu... If this keeps up... I... Uwaaa..."
I couldn't understand a word that was coming from him. He was slurring like an elementary schoolchild, and he was sniffling too, so I couldn't decipher anything. Just as I was at a loss for words -
"Hello, this is Koizumi."
A crisp, familiar voice replaced the cries of Asahina-san.
What? Those two are together at this time of the day? Why am I not there? Koizumi, you have exactly five seconds to keep your head glued to your neck in which you can give me a satisfying and comprehensible answer to all of this. If not, I will race to where ever you are and strangle you myself!
"Something has occurred. It is rather troublesome, so Asahina-san contacted me in advance out of urgency."
Contacting you instead of me? This left a rather bitter taste in my mouth.
"This is due to your inability to resolve the issue even if you are approached first... No, I apologize. In reality, I can't do anything either, since the situation is quite perilous."
I scratched my head.
"Did Haruki trigger Armageddon?"
"Strictly speaking, no; rather, it could be said that the current crisis is a complete negation of that. We have been thrust into a situation in which Armageddon will never come."
Huh? Am I dreaming, or not? Just what are you trying to say?
Koizumi continued, despite my confusion.
"I have just contacted Nagato-san. As I have predicted, he seems to be well aware of the situation. You will understand the details if you ask Nagato-san. That sums up the situation. Could you come and meet us right now? Of course, I will not notify Suzumiya-san."
Of course I could. Whoever would leave a weeping Asahina-san behind should see worse than being burnt at the stake sevenfold.
Koizumi informed me of the location, which was right in front of the station. It seemed that the area was the SOS-reserved meeting spot.
Spoiler for Endless eight part 5:
As such, by the time I'd changed, stumbled out to the courtyard, jumped onto my bicycle, and then dashed to the meeting spot, three shadows were already awaiting my arrival. I'm just grateful that I didn't wake up my father or my little brother ... The streets were not totally deserted, as I still spotted a few pedestrians, who seemed to be students. Thanks to them, we could mix in with this crowd and head to some rave party. It must be great to live such a carefree life. It's just that I was getting tired.
Asahina-san was in a squatting position facing a wall when I got to the station. Flanking him were Koizumi, donned in simple attire, and Nagato, in uniform. Asahina-san's top and bottom simply did not match; perhaps he wore whatever came to hand when he reached into his closet. No doubt he either was too panicked to have noticed, or the situation was so grievous that his wardrobe was the last thing on his mind.
The bustier of the wingmen noticed my arrival and raised a hand to greet me.
"Just what has happened?"
The soft streetlights illuminated the mild façade of Koizumi.
"I apologize for asking you to appear at this hour. However, the situation has left Asahina-san in his current state."
Asahina-san, who had curled into a ball, cried like a melting snowman. The damp face with a flattened mouth lifted up to look at me, and those beautiful wet cheeks were clearly visible. That seductive look would leave me doing anything for him. If he wasn't curled up in a fetal position and sucking his thumb, that is.
"Uuu... Kyon-chan, I..."
Asahina-san sniffled and muttered to himself:
"I cannot return to the future anymore..."
"To lay it all on the table, what has transpired is just this: We have found ourselves in an endless recursion of time."
Koizumi seemed to have too small a table with too few items. Does she really understand what she's saying?
"I understand perfectly well. There is no clearer explanation for this matter. I have discussed the topic with Asahina-san..."
Couldn't you wait until I arrived before engaging in discussion?
"We found that the flow of time in the world as of late is erratic. This is to the credit of Asahina-san; if not for him, I could not be certain of this fact."
Certain of what?
"We will keep experiencing the events that have occurred in the same time frame."
You've said this before.
"To be precise, from August the seventeenth to the thirty-first."
Koizumi's words sounded rather bizarre to me.
"In other words, we are forever trapped in a never-ending summer vacation."
"It is very much summer vacation right now."
"It is an ENDLESS SUMMER that will not terminate itself. Within this world, let alone fall, not even September will come. In other words, this world has no future beyond August. Asahina cannot return to the future for this reason, and it is logically sound. One cannot contact the future if the future does not exist, which can be taken as self-evident."
It is senseless in physics to think of NO FUTURE. Time should flow on its own even if you ignore it. I said the following as I looked at Asahina's head:
"Who would believe such a thing?"
"At least you must, since none of this can be mentioned to Suzumiya-san at all."
Koizumi looked over at Asahina-san as well.
Later on, Asahina-san basically explained this issue to me. Of course, sniffles were intertwined with the explanation.
"Uuu... Lemme think... I have continued to use <classified information> to contact the future or to do <classified information>... Urr. I only felt something is wrong when I had had no contact with <classified information> for a week. And then <classified information>... Made me very worried, so I tried to use <classified information> and the answer was <classified information>... Uuu... Waa! Whatever should I do..."
What to do? I have no clue. Is classified information some highly sensitive words that must be censored?
"Are we by any chance trapped in one of those bizarre worlds created by Haruki? Like a physical version of closed space or something similar?"
Koizumi hugged her chest as she leaned on the vending machine, slowly contradicting my argument.
"This time, Suzumiya-san did not recreate the world, but instead severed time, from August seventeenth through the thirty-first. As such, this world right now only has a lifespan of two weeks. There is no time before the seventeenth, nor is there any from the first of September on. In other words, this is a world where September will never arrive."
She expelled a long sigh, as if whistling defeat.
"Time will reset when it reaches twenty-four o'clock on the thirty-first of August, returning to the seventeenth. I don't know the details, but it appears that there is a SAVE POINT at the dawn of the seventeenth."
Then what of our... No, the memory of all of humanity?
"They will all be readjusted. The collective memory of all humans throughout the two weeks will be nullified and restarted from the beginning."
This world really enjoys turning time about back and forth. This can't be helped, though, with a time traveller in our midst.
"No, this does not involve Asahina-san. It is not as simplistic as you have speculated."
How would you know?
"Only Suzumiya-san possesses the qualities to undertake such an endeavor. Who might you have in mind that could do such a thing other than him?"
Those who would think about who is responsible for such things when they're bored are either absent-minded or daydream all the time.
"Just cut to the chase and tell me what to do about this."
"That would be much easier if I had a solution for this problem."
For some reason, I thought Koizumi looked rather gleeful, with no sign of concern. Why is that?
"Because I have finally resolved this feeling of incoherence which has puzzled me for some time."
Which would mean that only you are out of the woods.
"You as well, I assume? Have you not experienced a powerful sense of déjà vu, from the day we visited the city pool up till now? In retrospect, those flashbacks are remnants of the previous incarnation - as there is no other explanation. Now, all of this has been addressed. The anomalies that we experience are the remaining segments from the reset."
Wouldn't all human beings have felt this?
"Supposedly, no. You and I are special exceptions. It appears that only those who are near Suzumiya-san are likely to experience the changes to the world."
"What of Haruki? Does that man have no sense whatsoever?"
"It seems not. If he did, this matter would be far more complicated..."
Koizumi glanced in the direction of Nagato, asking for the alien's input.
Nagato answered with a calm expression.
"This would be the fifteen-thousand four hundred ninety-eighth time."
A spell of dizziness set in.
Fifteen-thousand four hundred ninety-eight. That takes up thirty-seven letters. Arabic numeral notation is 15,498, which feels like a lot less. The Arabic numeral is brilliant. Whoever thought of this deserves my profuse thanks. You are incredible for developing this convenient, nonessential, and completely illogical notation.
"The same two weeks have repeated for over nine thousand times. Assuming any layperson could feel that they were trapped in this loop and memory accumulated, they would break down. As for the memories of Suzumiya-san, I suspect that they must have been wiped much more thoroughly than ours."
Wait, why did you have to use “over nine thousand”? Wouldn't you normally say “more than ten thousand”? Why the odd number?
Anyway, one must consult the oracle in such moments. I asked for Nagato's confirmation:
"Is this so?"
"Yes."
Nagato nodded.
"So we have already done whatever it is we will be doing tomorrow? Would the O-bon and the goldfish be like that as well?"
"Not necessarily."
Nagato conveyed not a shred of emotion.
"There are discrepancies with Suzumiya Haruki's activities within the last fifteen-thousand four hundred ninety-seven cycles."
He looked toward me slightly and continued.
"In the last fifteen-thousand four hundred ninety-seven cycles, O-bon has been omitted twice. O-bon sans goldfish catching occurred a total of four hundred thirty-seven times. The city pool has been visited without fail as of this cycle."
For a moment, Nagato regarded me with slightly greater intensity.
"Pool visitations ended in hospital stay for various members of the SOS Brigade due to traffic accidents five hundred and seventy-two times. Part-time work has been conducted a total of nine-thousand twenty-five times with six variations in the nature of the work. Other than distributing balloons, there has also been stock loading, cash register, flyer distributions, call answering, as well as a model fashion show. There have been six-thousand eleven balloon distributions, with three hundred sixty overlaps in two or more variations. Repeated iterations sorted by order of combination are-"
"That's enough, you don't have to continue."
I started to think to myself after the alien-made artificial human quieted down.
We had traffic accidents? Haruki really does ride his bicycle like a maniac, but ... No, more important things first! The last two weeks of August have been repeated for fifteen thousand and... how many hundred again? Argh... annoying. 15,498 times, there we go. The cycle begins anew after the thirty-first of August and returns to the seventeenth. That, and I have no recollection of this, and Nagato remembers this to the last detail- why is that?
"Nagato-san, or more precisely the Data Integration Entity, exists outside the boundaries of space and time."
Koizumi's rather proud smile seemed a bit stiff, maybe because of the lighting.
Never mind, that's not important, just leave it for now. I knew Nagato's cranium could withstand such a thing, but that wasn't my concern. What I was concerned with was...
"Nagato, you have experienced the events of these two weeks for 15,498 times as well?"
"Yes."
Nagato nodded as if it didn't matter. Can't you reveal more than just a simple yes? Although I couldn't think of what she might say other than that word. But -
"Hmm..."
Wait. 15,498 x two weeks. The total would be 216,972 days. Eh- roughly 594 years worth of days. This guy had carried on through the passing of every single one of those days, every single cycle, and had witnessed everything that had occurred nonchalantly. Even the most patient of humans would be drained of patience after that. If you don't believe me, try and take 15,498 dips in the city pool.
"You..."
I hushed myself the moment I let out that word. Nagato cocked his head like a bird as he stared into me.
A vibe that emanated from Nagato by the swimming pool reawakened. He looked rather bored at that moment, which I suppose wasn't my fault. Even for Nagato, having to relive such a moment so many times would no doubt be a chore. Although on the surface he hasn't uttered a word of complaint, he might be cursing in the dark... This thought flashed through my head. I finally had a grasp on what was going on, but the underlying reasons hadn't been verified.
"Why would Haruki do such a thing?"
"I have a personal hunch."
With his typical opener, Koizumi continued:
"Suzumiya-san perhaps has no wish for summer vacation to end. Because he thinks that way deep inside his mind, summer vacation has become an endless recursion."
Isn't that like the reason brats refuse to go to school?
Koizumi subconsciously touched the rim of her can of coffee.
"I suspect that he might be half-heartedly preparing for the new semester, since he did not finish all the things that he wanted to do during the last two weeks of summer. In other words, there are many regrets in him. As such, he faces the evening of the thirty-first with an unfulfilled heart..."
And as soon as he wakes up, there are two weeks worth of summer vacation waiting for him, right? How should I put this... I suppose melancholy more than defeat described my current mentality. I know he is a character who is able to do just about anything to get what he wants, but never had I imagined that his thickheadedness could reach such heights.
Dammit, why does he have to be such a spoiled little boy at heart? And this brat doesn't even need Doraemon to cause a huge mess for everyone around him!
"If so, what must be done before the man will be satisfied?"
"I do not know. Nagato-san, do you know?"
"No."
The answer came in a crisp fashion. Out of all of us, you are the most dependable! I couldn't refrain from projecting my thoughts.
"Why is it that you have said nothing? We've ended up dancing a two-week waltz thousands of times."
After a spell of silence, Nagato said, lightly:
"My duty is to observe."
"...I see."
This gave me some closure. Nagato had not been actively involved in any of our events up till now, but his existence was pivotal to virtually every single event. I daresay that the only time this guy had engaged others actively would be that time when he led me to his home. With that being the only exception, Nagato had participated with us by manning a vital position without a sound.
I hadn't forgotten that Nagato Yuuki is a humanoid interface made by the Data Integration Entity to communicate, as well as a biological android created to observe Suzumiya Haruki. I wondered if a safety on his emotional displays might be in his specifications perchance.
"Never mind, that doesn't matter."
Before all of that, Nagato Yuuki to me is an avid reader, a man of little words, built with an average to large frame, but a completely dependable partner.
Of all the SOS Brigade members, Nagato possesses the broadest knowledge as well as the most active mind. With those in mind, I decided to ask the know-it-all further.
"How many times have we discovered this?"
My sudden question seemed anticipated by Nagato, as he calmly answered:
"Eight-thousand seven-hundred sixty-nine times. Frequency of detection increases with each iteration."
"That is because of the sense of incoherence and familiarity, perhaps."
Koizumi said this matter-of-factly.
"But even in those repeating cycles, even if we discovered our situation, we still failed to remedy the situation and restore time?"
"Correct," Nagato replied.
No wonder Asahina-san broke down. He cries like this because he knows this fact. The moment he realizes once more that he has lost two weeks' worth of manliness and memories due to the reset... And then to be devastated again after discovering that he is trapped in this rut.
I have already thought of this an uncountable number of times. Ever since I first met Haruki in the spring, I find myself thinking like this whenever some crisis occurs because of him, whether that be now or in the past.
That's not good.
No doubt this is the 8,769th time that I have thought of this within these two weeks.
This is too much...
Yet another fairytale.
The day after that was stargazing.
The locale was the roof of Nagato's apartment building. The clumsy and bulky telescope came courtesy of Koizumi. She had it mounted on a tripod. We started at eight o'clock in the night.
The night sky looked quite bleak, as did Asahina-san's face. His facial expression was either dumbstruck or in disarray. My feelings were also a mess, so it really wasn't the time to stare at the stars.
Koizumi extended the smile on her face as she set up the telescope.
"This was my hobby back when I was a kid. I was so touched when I first saw the moons of Jupiter."
Nagato, as usual, stood still on the rooftop as a sentry.
I shifted my view to the night sky, but I could only see two or three stars. The air was too polluted in the city to see much. To say that "there is no sky" at this point would've been quite fitting. Come winter, when the atmosphere clears up, Orion would show itself.
The head of the telescope took aim at Earth's neighbour. Haruki, with his head poking about, said:
"No."
"No what?"
"No Martians."
I don't hope for Martians to exist. Just think, a couple of octopus-looking monsters wriggling about as they discuss their Earth invasion plan. No matter how sweet their mouths are, I can't use the term "interesting" to describe them.
"Why is that? They might be very friendly. Look, there's nobody on the surface, so they must be the type to hide underground. This is the best proof that they're afraid of startling us humans because they're nice."
Haruki seemed to have underground dwellers in mind for his imaginary Martian. Please, at least tell me what kind. Would it be Pellucidar? Or those from Mars Attacks? If it is a combination of the two, things could get ugly. Think simple; the simpler the better.
"They might be doing prep work inside, so that when the first Mars lander finally lands, they could come out and welcome humans with a big surprise! They might even say, 'Welcome to Mars, neighbors! We welcome you!'"
That would be even scarier. If there's a mishap, it would turn from a surprise into a fright. I have no idea who might be the first to land on Martian soil, but it might be best to give them an advance notice so they're emotionally prepared. Is it alright to send mail to NASA?
We took turns looking at the outlines of Mars and the Lunar craters as time went by. Just when I started wondering why we lost a man, I found Asahina-san with his eyes shut, head tilted as he hugged his knees, and leaned over the fence that prevents one from falling to an untimely death from the rooftop. He must have had a sleepless night yesterday, so I'll just let him be.
Haruki, apparently tired of staring at the unchanging night sky, remarked:
"Let's hunt for UFOs! They must be aiming at Earth, who knows if there are advance scouts over the low orbits right as we speak!"
Haruki happily turned the telescope about, but got tired of that quickly. He sat down next to Asahina-san, and fell into slumber while leaning on his narrow shoulder.
Koizumi whispered:
"Tired?"
"Kind of hard to imagine that he would be even more exhausted than us."
Haruki was in deep sleep. This gave me the urge to doodle all over his face as payback for all of the things he made us do. Or to be more specific, forced ME to do. However, his sleepy visage wasn't one I wanted to deface. That man is quite a looker if he doesn't say a word. It would be interesting if he and Nagato swapped minds. A totally expressionless Haruki is already hard to comprehend, while a jittery and expressive Nagato is just beyond me.
With the night breeze gushing about, I looked at Asahina-san and Haruki, sleeping next to each other. Sleeping side by side, Asahina-san and Haruki looked like brothers. Maybe some people might find Haruhi more outstanding. Hmm... Definitely.
"Just what does he want to do?"
I let this out with the air of a sigh.
"Could it be to have fun with some friends and have a great time?"
"Perhaps. Speaking of Suzumiya-san's friends, we would be them."
Koizumi gazed at the other end of the cosmos.
"If so, the most important thing is to find out just what will satisfy him. Should we fail, this cycle of time will never end. We can only accompany him until he finds his very wants that go unfulfilled and makes them happen. Fortunately and thankfully, memory adjustment exists, or we would suffer a nervous breakdown from this eventually."
Repeated for fifteen-thousand four-hundred ninety-eight times.
Is this for real? Could Nagato merely be scaring us? To put it plainly, this was beyond belief if you just heard it, but if the originator was Haruki, it couldn't be denied. The unknown mysterious power of that man always put us in deep water. No matter if it were from his reckless nature or deep within his psyche, the same brand of troubles would always befall us. He was just that kind of person, the kind that will give you trouble no matter what.
I thought before that we who always accommodated the thoughtless Haruki might be qualified to be nominated as goodwill ambassadors. Each member of the SOS Brigade has a better temper than the last. And to think that I happened to be a pivotal figure in deciding the fate of the world. This makes me suspect that the world was abnormal from the start.
To further iterate this point, the naïve notion that the world which we safeguard must be righteous is simply bullshit that is made and mass produced by humans under the guidance of ideologies and doctrines. There are plenty of bigots that blindly advertise this self-centered slander and force it upon others. I say to them that they should at least think of what the generations millennia later might have to conclude about them.
Just as I was knee deep in thought on such trivial matters, Koizumi opened her mouth without warning:
"Although we might not know Suzumiya-san's inner desires, should we pry into his mind? For example, hug him from behind out of the blue or whisper 'I LOVE YOU,' or something along those lines."
"Who would want to go on that suicide mission?"
"There is no more suitable individual than you."
"I exercise veto power! PASS! I will also exercise the right to punch you in the face if you try to push me against him or use ventriloquism or dirty tricks like that!"
"In that case, I shall make the attempt."
I obviously missed the expression that my face might have shown. I didn't have a mirror on me at the moment. But then again, my right hand was already raised and had already formed a fist. Koizumi seemed to have read my mind at that point:
"I am joking. I lack the caliber to do so. If I really step up to the plate, it will only put Suzumiya-san into an unnecessary state of confusion."
The shrieking laughter that came forth from her throat ended her words. I would really like to put one right on her face about now.
I lowered my hand and fell into silence once more, staring at the bright moon that shone unabated from the melancholic night sky of summer.
The milky way that decorates the dark canvas blinked under the sun's reflection, seemingly inviting me to play. To where? God knows.
I thought of all of this while staring at the shadow of a petrified Nagato, who faced the night sky.
Summer was not yet over, but summer vacation was coming to an end- although don't be so sure, since I don't know if summer break will really end or not. Please spare me. Seriously.
We might very well return to August seventeenth. Just what to do in order to make Haruki figure out just what this "thing that has not yet been done" is?
What could he have left out? I had a mountain of summer assignments that hadn't been touched since I brought it home. That couldn't be his concern, as he had it done way in advance.
2008-05-15, 15:19
