To Aru ... Fanfiction Discussion Thread

[allfictions]

Originally Posted by LevelSeven

snip

Hm, okay?

I will be blunt, there are several problems with your idea here:

1. The villains' motivations: that's the first thing that jumped in my face to be honest. Controlling the world? Really? Seriously? And do they converse like this?

Magician: "Gee, Scientist, what do you want to do tonight?"
Scientist: The same thing we do every night, Magician —try to take over the world!

You will admit that having the same motivations as Brain makes a villain a bit silly.

Doing things ''For the EVULZ'' isn't really realistic, in every fiction not aimed at children. At the core, even some vilains known for being bloodthirsty conquerors in fiction had a clear motivation for doing so.

Ozai from Avatar The Last Airbender, for example, originally come across as ridiculously evil for seemingly no good reason, but then you read the comics and it turns out that he was doing what he was doing because he genuinely believes that the Fire Lord's word is Law and thus, he cannot be wrong.

In Neon Genesis Evangelion, SEELE's leaders want to eliminate sorrow in the world...through murder and manipulation galore.

Emperor Charles zi Britannia of Code Geass first appears to be a Social Darwinist who thinks that war is the best way to create social progress. It's eventually revealed that his true agenda is to kill ''God'' to create "a world without lies", a desire brought about by being raised in a royal family whose members killed and deceived each other for power.

Heck, even the Templars in Assassin's Creed, who essentially wants to establish a New World Order by controlling people's minds do so that they all have the same viewpoint, ensuring peace.

In short, no villain ever wants to conquer the world for shit and giggles, and the Raildex Universe is even less prone to that since each villain think that they are doing the right thing.

The alliance is made even less comprehensible since I don't see what goals could exactly be harmonized between a mad scientist and a rogue magician.

2.The first part of their plan: While I can buy them finding Aureolus' notes on Ars Magna, I am very doubtful about anyone stealing anything from AC. This is Academy City we are talking about., whose response to any attempt to challenge their technologically based hegemony ranges from mind control and extortion to, as featured in New Testament Vol. 4, wholesale slaughter using purposefully psychotic special forces. How would your villains succeed where Amai Ao/Awaki/BLOCK/Spark Signal failed?

No, what I think you should do is that they develop their own cloning tech themselves, it's more believable. And isn't that why the Russian Shopping Mall and Baggage City were threats? Because they managed to develop technologies without AC's help?

And stealing DNA material from any of the Level 5 is even more silly, that's exactly what AC tightly regulate first and foremost. The Darkness would just go rape them.

3.The Plan itself: Is hardly consistent with canon.

Like demino said, you seem to have a poor grasp of the metaphysics of the series, or you misunderstood some things. I can picture cloned Saints, like how GREMLIN produced Artificial Valkyries and how Pantagruel temporarily became one. But the rest...

For starters, I'm pretty sure that it would be impossible to copy the abilities of GRS members. Each members cleaned off the Original Sin they hold as humans as much as possible, and thus each gained attributes of four dominant Archangels in Christianity. There is simply not enough Archangel for your clones. Never mind the Holy Right being a special case, I think it was implied to be have a ''there can be only one'' status.

Than cloning Ollerus...I don't see how it means the clone would become an Impure Majin. Same with Index. Why? Their powers reside in their knowledge of Grimoires, cloning them doesn't give the clones that knowledge, nor does it makes their minds able to take it.

And might I remind you that Level 5s are explicitely stated to be able to fight alone against a military force on equal terms. Fighting against 1000 of their weaker clones should be a walk in the park.

And cloning IB....just no, it falls under the ''only one'' category.

All in all...rethink your idea a bit. Like, really.

[LevelSeven]

thanks for a honest review

than Motivation: its for the world peace, they believe that if they control both sides there will be no bad-stuff on the world anymore ->> peace = happiness
(maybe a sad and cruel past for the villians, example: one lost his parents because a magician wanted to have something and he turned therefore to the science side, another one: parents tortured and mother (maybe) raped and killed, therefore he turns to the magic side, and so on, they and maybe a few others are the core masterminds,

than for the first stage : your idea is better, they develop after analyzing parts of the tech. in bagagge city and from the russian shopping mall, their own secret clone tech.

the plan itself: saints and valkyries are ok?

than for ollerus: they create the body with their clone tech. and after a ritual which have the effect to recreate lost strength (this is the reason why they obtained izzards research papers), they can create a impure majin,

the same goes for GRS, after being nerfed they can recreate the lost strength in a new body (with that they can overcome the 'only one rule)

for the Level 5's: the clones arent Level 2 or 3, they are Level 5, created with the same spell,

// before they create the body they create a place to let the Clone grow, (as magical ritual where this place symbolises the place of the originals, therefore the Clones will grow up with the exact same memories as the originals, Index included), after that they actually use the DNA and make the body , how they gain the DNA is easy..... simply using 20 saints and attacking AC on a large scale, another part of their plan: bringing them into another war (science vs magic) but this time a all-out-war //

so far so good: than i need to say one thousand of them is to OP, so only one of everyone, accel, fiamma etc. but with their full OP villian version........

than for IB: they cant use spells to recreate this power it is true, it will not work like with the others so: they create "toumas" , one version = esper -ability to destroy aim based attacks , another version = magician -speciality : destroying mana based attacks,

they arent the IB but can 'artfically' negate supernatural forces too, and on the top of that : they create a body of touma which is similar to that of the original in every way but it dont possess a brain demage (in this story the IB/IT/or this other sttuff, isnt a intellectual being (it wasnt stated that it was one in the first place), therefore it will choose the 'better' host, means it changes from original touma to second touma) results in -> touma needs to kill his clone and obtain IB again.........



i hope this is more believable,

[demino_hellsin]

you still aren't giving conclusive answers. What you're giving is just half-assed ideas that come off as being condescending. Please think these things through.

For the sake of world peace? how many people can honestl say that with conviction? Because of death in the family? rape? it's easy to say but you need to give a scenario that people can relate why they want world peace.

Saints and valkyries can draw their power from being physically similar to the son of god and true valkyries. This is due to idol theory. However you still can't grasp how Aurelious abilities and research on the ars magna is different from being able to imagine your own laws of reality on a whim. Aurelious required an absolute confidence that his words would not fail. Espers need skewed common sense. The difference between a level 5 and your clones then is that your army would be rendered useless in a single display of power. Same goes with your magic god and other magicians.

Being able to recreate the phenomenon of IB requires a different mechanism to be explained. One which you have still failed to produce. Please give an explanation beyond one is for magic, another is for AIM.

The Ars Magna is a godlike ability to turn thoughts into reality, but it still isn't absolute. You can't just simply say that Aurelious research fixed this, Aurelious research fixed that. You need to think this through.

[Traitless]

Just asking, but approximately how much time would be spent thinking about the story, characters, arcs, powers, personality, etc.?
A day worth, a week?
I just want like a rough idea so I can also think stuff through.

[demino_hellsin]

It's never been about timespan on brainstorming, it's quality and follow through. How involving and believable is the content? And considering you're working with fanfiction, the readers may or may not believe in a set of rules already existing within canon.

You might want to give a proper explanation as to how your out of this world ideas actually fit into the existing mythos so people don't feel xenophobic.

P.S. Define a better host for IB. I can imagine that in the whole index-verse, there are tons more qualified than Touma. But why him?

[Loremaster]

My first story's is kinda set and already done. But from what I'm seeing going to have to restart the second one, due to my first story's rewrite. Thankfully I didn't get to far into it, but this is going to be a lot to explain. So hopefully, you would be able to understand it all.

So I guess I should take this chance to run the second stories' info here, to see if it's reasonable and works.

This story focuses on the magic side of my OC's life. Which in my fanfiction is the sister of Laura Stuart. Because of being added to that family, I went ahead to expand the Stuart family into something comparable to the Kihara of the science side.

But since they're mostly on the magic side, I gave it kinda of a branch family kind of system. Where the main family of Stuarts are Laura, my OC, father Stuart and the mother. There are many branch families which serve the main, which aren't exactly bound by blood, but magic oaths which binds them.

Not going to go into whos in the branch families, but there are some certain notable magical characters. But basically the Stuart family pull the strings in the UK and are considered it's true rulers.

I guess I should explain how they done it? Well since the Stuart family has been expanded on in my version of the world. They been around for many years, even since the dark ages and more importantly the time of the King Arthur era.

I think these quotes from what I did of story 2, so far explains this new Stuart family pretty good. At least their earlier activities.

"Sir Lancelot one of the knights of the round table. Serving the legendary King Arthurian of Camelot. Sound's like a fairy tale no matter how you slice it. But as you found out today, it's more then just a fairy tale. Don't get me wrong, when it comes to the duties of this family household... ...We would like nothing more then to scrub the memories of that past... It sounds strange I know, why should we want to destroy one of the greatest legends of this country's history. Because it's nothing more then just history, to embrace that part of history is accepting the rule of magic. So in the name of ending the rule of magic in this country, Camelot had to fall and King Arthur had to be killed. The intentions of a tolerant kingdom accepting magic was unacceptable for the ancestors of my family. So that's why this family stole Avalon from the legendary king and contributed to his inevitable death."

Sir Lancelot has returned to modern day as like a vengeful spirit, due to the death of the Father Stuart. The knight went after Touma, because he sees the one who wields the IB as the theif. His mind isn't all there due to his current status. This should help explain what I mean.

"Many years after the collapse of Camelot, that knight attempted to redeem himself for his part to play in his Lord's death. He even attempted to become a priest and live his life in repentance. But that knight couldn't stay away due to his love for the wife of the King. Allowing his temptations to motivate his actions, Lancelot broke the vows of the priesthood and the head priest at the time cursed the knight as a result. Not caring for what he had inflicted on himself, because of the chance to see the women he loved. Guinevere. But upon arriving where the former Queen lived, he was told that she had died under mysterious causes. It was then he had realised it was the doing of the head priest who cursed him. The knight who allowed his temptation to rule his judgement had not only lead to the downfall of a kingdom, but also the death of the women he had loved. Upon taking the body of the former Queen to be buried with his former lord. Lancelot fell in deep regret and sorrow. It's believed he had wandered the land of his former country until he had died. But the truth is that his regret and sorrow had further corrupted the knight's soul because of the curse. Now determined to do one last thing for his former Lord, Lancelot was determined to return the stolen artefact. That's when my family first interacted with the knight. Thanks to the interference of a certain old and crazy magician. Lancelot managed to find my ancestor who had stolen the artefact and even overpowered many younger knights in the process. But the knight would fail at the last hurdle as the artefact had only pushed the odds in my ancestor's favour. Seeing this the same certain crazy magician smashed Avalon into four pieces, only because in that magician words only a chosen individual is worthy to use Avalon. ... Despite having the same power as Imagine breaker, my ancestor had to retreat from the power of the knight and that crazy magician. At least he managed to secure one of the four pieces at that time, which remains with the family even to this day."

So why did Lancelot suddenly return in modern day?

"Then why did the death of your father bring the knight back?"

That was the important question, because despite closely working with Laura and Eolas' father. He didn't know about this entire thing and was very surprised about the knight's interference in Academy city. The event has happened so fast. Laura was about to revel the connection of Lancelot to her father's death.

"I told you about the curse which Lancelot had suffered. Since the shattering of Avalon, the curse of Lancelot has evolved and the knight's desire to return Avalon to his Lord has put him in a purgatory state. Between life and death. Not only that, the knight has been seen since that day attacking future holders of Imagine breaker and trying to track all the pieces of Avalon. My family has been under attack from this seemly powerful immortal knight since then. Despite how powerful this family had gotten, it's very hard to fight of a knight like Lancelot from an era where magic was at it's zenith. Specially considering the abilities of the sword he wields could bring great devastation. If you only allow his rage reach it's peak. My father who had lost his own mother to Lancelot's attack, had been inspired to create a spell powerful enough to trap the immortal knight into a corporal state. Making Lancelot unable to interact with this world and only can be seen as a Ghost by members who share our blood. The reason why he had emerged after my father's death, because he was bound by spirit to my father's own spirit. And his death had broken that chain, allowing him to freely interact with the world once again. So honestly I'm not surprised that he had emerged in Academy city, he is drawn by the user of the Imagine Breaker. Considering all the trouble we both put that boy in."

Hopefully that explains the connection to the Stuart family and Arthurian legend. Most of the quotes came from the chapter. The Knight and the Thief. The second story is based during the English civil war incident, which isn't the same time of year due to previous events in the first story.

This English civil war is obviously a different version, it's split between the 2nd princesses' ambitions and the legacy of the Avalon pieces. But the Stuart family is also heavily involved in this civil war. One reason being the pieces of avalon, second because a previously exiled son of the Stuart family(OC) was tricked into returning. The last being they are considered the true rulers of the UK, like a group influencing events behind the scenes. Here's some upcoming quotes regarding how I try to explain their role.

"I told you before about Lancelot and my father. If that knight was set free then that only means on purpose or that my father is dead. There is something people should understand about my family. The Stuarts are like Lions who chew up everything they want and spit it out when they're done. This has made the Stuarts a very powerful family in England for many centuries. His death obviously has left a large power vacuum in the country and now many other families are going to jump at the chance to fill it. My sister needs me to return to England to show that the Stuart family is united and should not be defied. No matter how you look at it, she only wants me to come back to fulfil her own objectives. Am I correct Stiyl? Is my father dead and that my sister wants me back for no other reason then family issues?"

--
"It's in my families nature to use others. All with the intention to secure our dominance. So let's think it from this point of view; the family is now weakened due to the passing of its head. There is obviously a power vacuum left from his death. So what's a good way to keep other families in check? Fear. To remind the country that they're nothing without the guidance and protection of the Stuart family and its resources. Make the country collapse at the seems and leaving it up for Stuart members to solve the problem. It's only natural for Stuarts to act in that way... So I can assume my arrival in this country has been met with distrust, considering my past conflicts that even involved this country. In the past I had all the intention of succeeding my objectives even if I had to use people."

Those two quotes are from my OC. Who's perspective is a little naive because of being exiled. But it doesn't mean he's exactly wrong. This is during a conversation regarding attacks on england and the first princess is blaming the Stuart family. The Queen explains why she doesn't agree with them.

"Considering you barely been part of your own families' activities, then you probably wouldn't understand something about your own kin. Despite everything that your family and ancestors has done, even when it seems inhuman. Specially when it comes to your father. It has always been for the good of this country. That is why I don't see how your family is involved, it's also rather nonsense to call these reactionary responses. When the first attack happened before your father's death; sure the Eurotunnel explosion could of been a diversion to break through the intelligence net. But Rimea and Eolas you only underestimating the former head of the Stuart family..."

Later the Queen tries to explain the families hold on the country. You probably already notice, but I got grammar and sentence structure problems. So I'm sorry in advance. I probably could explain this better, but I hope these quotes give you the picture.

"There is something bothering me. Why does my family has such a dramatic hold on this country?"

The Queen was the one to answer that question for the young Stuart.

"That's because if it wasn't for them. This country would probably not of existed as the way it is now. Your family for many generations have acted like the glue which keeps the three factions together. It's frustrating but your family just have too much power in all walks of life in this country. If something happens to the Stuarts then the entire country is bound to feel the impact... We have accepted that fact, but even your father knew of my desire to dilute your families hold. I feel that would be best for this country in the end. But you see it's much harder to do that, because while the country is held in account to your family. Your family is held into account by it's branch families. "

This last quote shows you just how worried, the Queen is regarding another Stuart putting their weight behind one of the three factions.

"As for you young Stuart. We have no power to ask you to do anything, nobody blames you if you don't think of this country as your home. But you should know that your actions have far more weight then you may think. Whatever you decided to do with your family problems is your own. I just hope that it can be resolved without much disorder... You must know while my desire to dilute your family's power isn't a secret, there is nothing I can do. Because outside interfere would only risk causing a civil war... You already know that your sister is the head of the Anglican church and while its accepted that a Stuart has power in one of the three factions. It would be rather upsetting for the country if another throws their weight behind one of the factions. So I'm asking you Eolas Stuart, if you have any love for the country of your birth. That you don't fall into line of one of the three factions."

I know it's probably been a lot to read through and if you made it this far. Then thanks in your interest and hopefully you understand the status on the new Stuart family. Which exists in my fanfiction. Again I posted this to see if these story ideas are sound and works. Or do you think their some impossible points or something that needs to be explained. It's always good to get a second opinion.

Also forgot to mention, there is a rumour in the story as well. That the Stuarts attempted to publicly control the country, which came in the form of the Stuart monarch who got beheaded at the end of the irl English civil war. It's just amusing tip if you read the story, because Laura finds that the most embarrassing moment of her families' history.

[demino_hellsin]

Since Imagine Breaker is the anchor of the world, what if there were parallel worlds?

Each one requires an anchor therefore, maybe, each one has something akin to IB as well. However there is only one instance of each in each parallel universe. However, some worlds are similar, asymptotically so. Due to the close proximity of existence, there are instances of non-destructive overlap. In a manner of speaking, they resonate.

Touma begins seeing things which should not exist in his world. He dreams of them and the dreams get more frequent. Until one day, he sleeps but never wakes up. Instead, he awakens as the possessor of an alternate reality's version of Imagine Breaker, but he still carries his own. Basically, he travelled across dimensions but because it was IB's own doing, it's not something that can be negated.

Does this make sense? @_@

[Loremaster]

I think that make sense in a way, IB being the anchor of the world acts like a focus point for a parallel line. As you said they is probably something akin to IB in each world. Acting as the vocal point, maybe they only resonate if Touma and somebody or something akin to IB in the other world are in the same positions or area.

I don't know, lets say the Stonehenge because that could act as a doorway(from it's looks) to a parallel world. At one moment which the likely hood is probably 0.00001% chance. Both individuals are in the same spot, because of it both anchors resonate causing dimension disturbances? That may explain how he can see things, because of two anchors being connected to each other. Both are trying to pull the other one into their world. The bearers of the IB and the akin power in other world probably doesn't realise this fact.

I say both need to be in the same sport of the world. Because despite being on different dimensions, that is the closest they will ever get. To powers like IB the distance between another dimension, probably would be as thin as a pane of glass.

This could lead to a rather interesting two world story, you giving me ideas now.

[LevelSeven]

this wouldnt last long but how would the idea that accel will loose his memorys, like aiwass/aleister/anyone will rebuild his brain back but demages it in the place of his memories, he forgets everyone, similar with touma,

this would be like ogami from Code breaker , he is than the nice guy blablabla, a short funny story where accel is a ordinary boy (with god-like powers of course),

can this be count as crack-fic???

[demino_hellsin]

@loremaster: hmm... well I was aiming more for the proximity of how close they are in likeness. basically if idol theory approached 100% likeness but never quite.

@7: I don't think that counts as crack fic. not sure why he'd lose his memories in exchange for almity beings repairing his brain either. can the portion of his brain used to store memories be used to restore his frontal lobe that handles calculation work? I have no idea. not a neurologist.

aiwass is an asshole though.he might ask for accel's memories for the evulz.

[Shadrala]

Just popping in to let those who are interested know... Traces of your Tears Chapter 7 is out on my blog (Click on the banner in my siggy). For those who may not know, please be aware there is dark content/ descriptive violence in this story. Featuring Mikoto & Accel.
Thanks.

[allfictions]

By the way LevelSeven, your idea of Clones Attack? Well the parody story mentions ''someone is carrying out an Ars Magna experiment by reading and reproducing the residual thoughts left in Misawa Cram School''. Now I know the story is noncanon and just for laughs, but I do feel that it means it is possible in the ToAru universe to do so.

[WiliamZ0]

IS there no one make Touma-Othinus fanfic yet With the feels NT9 give, I was hoping for ... one or two from here

[omega253]

Originally Posted by WiliamZ0

IS there no one make Touma-Othinus fanfic yet With the feels NT9 give, I was hoping for ... one or two from here

I already laid out a suggestion earlier involving Othinus being frustrated by playing Dark Souls.

I've got some other ideas brewing, but it would take a while to solidify into anything.

[R.LocK]

But no one ever thought about Mugino playing Dark Souls? Or Birdway crushing poor Mark's character? Oh you, guys, always thinking about the newest stuff.

[Draco Spirit]

I'm currently about halfway through a Touma/ Misaka 10032, Mikoto/Kuroko and Accelerator/Uiharu romance/action fanfic.. so I can't do one at the moment >.<

I like to some crack Touma/Birdway stuff at some point tho.

[SmokinFerret88]

Demino, is it sad that I've been thinking a bit too much on your whole idea of CrippledTouma even to this day?

Because I'm seriously getting some ideas behind it which I should not be having for a story that I do not have the intention to write. Or, more like, don't want to only for the sake of staying focused on my Darkness Project.

Seriously, if I had seen the Crippled Touma idea before Darkness came along, I probably would have wrote it. Because I'm seriously getting ideas for it that are well within the realm of possibility...or at least I think.

Like, for example, the Touma vs. Accelerator fight. We both know that, at that point, Touma would have Mugino, Misaka, and Misaki all giving him calculations. But, since this is pre-LO Accel, it's not really going to be enough to put him down. He has the body strength and such to move around and fight, but even with a portion of three Level 5's calculations in him he won't be able to react fast enough especially since one touch is all it would take for Accel to kill him.

So, I thought about it a bit and guessed that the Imouto, who's already there, gives Touma that boost he needs by granting him, I guess you can say, 'visitor account' to the Network. It wouldn't be permanent, but giving him the combat data of all the fights the Sisters went though in addition to the calculations that come with it. Guess you can understand where I'm going with it at this point....

This is just me spewing things out at random out of pure boredom.

[demino_hellsin]

I don't think it's sad at all. I think the saddest thing is that neither of us have the capacity be it in skill on my account or time on your account, to write it out.

It would be pretty cool when Touma gets access to the sisters' brainwave system. But it would require a rather special bypass through Misaka. Because the collars work differently from RADIO noise collar of Accel in the way that it's direct signal to signal instead of a radio tuning in. This system was put into place because Kamijou would just negate any signal sent via Misaka's esper generated electricity and effectively the same result with the radio noise sisters.

[SmokinFerret88]

I don't think it's sad at all. I think the saddest thing is that neither of us have the capacity be it in skill on my account or time on your account, to write it out.

I know! TT__TT If only I saw it sooner!

What kinda bypass system would be necessary then? Do you mean Heaven Canceller applying some modifications to make it accessable or would it need to be something needed for Misaka herself to do for him?

Actually, do you think Will could do something about it? Because, to be honest, I was gonna use the whole 'temp account' thing during the fight as a means for him to actually become aware of Will. Basically, if this theory worked out, it would act in a similar manner to how Thor calls Mjölnir to give him additional power. The only difference here being that the Network would give him calculation power and the battle data from all the experience gained from the Sisters.

[demino_hellsin]

The alternative mechanism means that the collars use hard science signals. Not those derived from AIM like the Misaka network does. So Touma cannot directly access the network because it would be AIM derived electrowaves attuning to the collar and he'd just negate that. The network would have to access an external terminal/collar which would then pass it on to Touma's collar.