2013-04-23, 10:44 | Link #22 | |||||
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It's more like....I have not met a single person whose love is their childhood friend. And I know a lot of people. Quote:
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That isn't fair to either of you and it's guaranteed to end badly. Not staying faithful while you're with them is bad, I agree. Break up first, by all means. But don't make yourself live a lie just because they were your first love. Besides, what about people who end up being abused by their "first love"!? Does leaving that abusive person make the victim "immature"!? I sure as hell don't think so! Sometimes you have no choice! Quote:
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2013-04-23, 10:52 | Link #23 | |||
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Anyway, if you are mostly talking about fiction (anime in this case) and say you don't like osananajimi stories because they are often badly written, that I can understand. But despising them in real life just because you don't understand them is just strange. |
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2013-04-23, 11:01 | Link #24 | ||||
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2013-04-23, 11:07 | Link #25 | |
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Last edited by Dwalin; 2013-04-23 at 15:18. |
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2013-04-23, 18:17 | Link #26 |
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I think . . . what makes childhood romance get abused alot in many romance anime isn't because of the childhood kind of thing, but more about its appeal as a form of "easy romance". Let's see 1)You live only next door to her, you can meet her whenever you want 2) You know her very well, so there's no need for bullshit introduction nor any difficult action to get close to her, since you two already close in the first place, and you can talk normally to her without any awkwardness 3)Everyone around you already recognize you two as close pigeons, makes it hard for competitors/love rivals/any hindrances to break you two up
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2013-04-23, 18:21 | Link #27 | |
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1) While sticking together from an early age and transitioning into "family" is good for social cohesion (i.e. they're likely to have a good a life with each other, not divorce, etc. - all the advantages, so to speak), there's also the danger that this leads to things like fear of strangers, narrow-mindedness, etc. - because there are more poeple out there who haven't grown up with you, and you can have a nice life without learning to deal with very different points-of-view. That is: childhoodfriend romances can be unintentionally painting isolationism in a positive light. Taking no risks, trying nothing new. An example of an anime that treats this very aspect with lots of respect is: Spoiler for for anime name:
2. The other thing I'm worried about is "friendship vs. romance between boys and girls". If every girl the boy-protagonist gets along with has a crush on the boy, that sort of cheapens boy-girl friendships. This is not something an anime can address by itself, because the individual cases don't have anything wrong with them. It's the trend, not the shows themselves, that bothers me. You get the feeling that the only proper way for a boy and a girl to be close is romance. (That's bothersome in real life, too; I get along very well with a girl, and everyone thinks we might be a couple. What?) An anime that explicitly deals with this problem is: Spoiler for for anime:
Sometimes, childhood friends just have the right sort of chemistry. Latest example: Spoiler for for anime name:
So I'm not basically against childhoodfriend romances, but I can see plenty of pitfalls to romanticise (as a side-effect) what I feel is unhealthy behaviour (and I think it's much in line with what Chiibi doesn't like). But if an anime manages to nullify my worries, or address them specifically in a plausible way, I'm fine with it. But I am, by predisposition, slightly biased against them. |
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2013-04-23, 19:24 | Link #28 | |
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A question, as I haven't watched the anime: so the decision of the main character doesn't have anything to do with love for the childhood friend? Is it presented as a loveless pairing? If so, then it's really not my cup of tea, I was talking about childhood romance where the children involved feel genuine affection towards one another.
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There is this cartoon (not Japanese) called "Brother bear", focused on the brotherly bond between a human transformed into a bear and a bear cub. It's very tender and moving, and I was pretty much annoyed when in the sequel a girl (later transformed into a bear as well) came into the picture, therefore somehow distracting the big bear from the small one forcing him to share his affection with her, and I still am not sure it really was a good idea even though she was the big bear's (former human's) childhood friend. Don't know what to say about the rest of what you said, even though I don't really 100% agree with you statement about childhood friend romance leading to fear of strangers and narrow-mindedness. I don't know, maybe in the anime you quoted it is so, but I still think it's not always that extreme. Anyway, I am fine with what people here are saying even if they don't agree with me, since nobody has been rude till now. I made this topic just because I was tired of gratuitous insults towards the concept that are very frequent in the modern society, especially on internet where people often show their most aggressive side. But I am thankful people here are willing to listen and to understand what I am saying, even if not agree. |
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2013-04-23, 20:24 | Link #29 | |
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I wanted to add that there are some osanajimi romances I ship...but normally only if: A. It's really the only ship-able couple in the series for both chars: (i.e. EdwardxWinry in FMAB) or B. The alternate love interest is the worst person ever, or makes the pairing the worst pairing ever. In my opinion, B doesn't happen that much (because I like tsundere and I like new loves)...but when it does, aljfdladsjfld;jf *rage*........because I know it's totally hopeless for the osanajimi who deserves the protagonist SO much more.... I'm not going to list the series that committed the biggest offense concerning this because I'm always ranting about it on this board and quite a few people disagree...so........yeah.
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2013-04-23, 21:11 | Link #30 | |||
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Also, all the anime I've quoted are ones I actually like, because they engaged the subject matter in a responsible way (whether I like the characters' decisions is another matter altogether; one has no decision so far - further seasons being a possibility). I have a hard time thinking of bad examples, since I tend to forget them until someone else brings them up. I see no value in grumbling over stuff I don't like, when I could watch stuff I do like. Quote:
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2013-04-23, 21:45 | Link #31 |
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Dwalin, one thing you might want to consider here is what's called The Westermarck Effect.
The Westermack Effect is most frequently cited when explaining why siblings typically find the idea of having sex with one another awkward, disturbing, disgusting, and/or even unthinkable (and yes, contrary to what anime would have you believe, this is true ). But it can also apply to two peers who grow up in close proximity to one another, and have developed a close platonic friendship. I think that people in general have a tendency to "desexualize" certain people in their lives in order to make life easier, neater, and more comfortable. For kids and adolescents in particular, sexual desire can actually be a frustrating and nerve-wrecking thing, so I think that at a subconscious level many people may force such desire out of their minds when it comes to close childhood friends. You know, to ensure that they always feel "at ease" in the company of those friends. Most people don't really feel "at ease" when in the presence of someone they have yet-to-be-fulfilled sexual desire for (if such sexual desire becomes fulfilled, then that can change of course, which is why married couples are typically "at ease" in one another's presence). Now this is something I think anime is actually uniquely good at portraying - The nervousness and anxiety that a person feels when in the presence of someone they really have "the hots" for. Once you've desexualized another person to a certain degree, there may well be no coming back. I definitely think that Chibi's personal experience here reflects that, and that it's probably more common than some of us may think.
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2013-04-23, 21:50 | Link #32 | |
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2013-04-23, 21:57 | Link #33 |
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You know what? What really bothers me is that anime usually fails to portray a purely platonic boy-girl relationship without peppering it with romance or something like that.
Can't a boy and a girl stay friends forever if they wanted to? They don't have to hook up together all the freaking time, you know. |
2013-04-23, 22:08 | Link #34 | |
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The anime Sola had a girl in it that struck me as the ultimate bro. Her name is Mana Ishizuki. I had to say that I found it amusing/endearing to see a female character be such a total bro to the male lead.
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2013-04-23, 22:46 | Link #36 | |
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Anime's seriously beginning to affect my take on American cinema. Like in "Ever After", a 90s flick that I only saw in the past two years or so had a childhood friend for the 'Cinderella' protagonist. And I was like "Oh watch, he's going to want her too." and waited for the love confession BUT HE DIDN'T. He was her best friend and NOTHING MORE. .......and that's when I said, "Damn, I think I fell in love with this movie already". XD (Though that is one good reason out of an ARMFUL of good ones) It basically took all the tired cliches from all the fairytale/romances out there and said "Die, cliches, die."
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2013-04-23, 23:13 | Link #37 | |
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I completely agree with your overall point, mind; just felt like throwing that out there. |
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2013-04-24, 00:09 | Link #38 | |
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2013-04-24, 00:19 | Link #39 |
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Indeed, I am proud of him for being friends with the girl for 17 years without falling into the Friend Zone. And yeah, their life is incredibly similar to a shoujo manga in many ways, both the good and the bad. Their love might be enviable, but not the fact that their life's contained as much drama as Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. Makes me thankful for my much more boring life.
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