I Would Die to Have Your First Time

[BWTraveller]

Spoiler for 42:

Once again Nishimori's tailing Taro and Mika, carefully watching but unable to tell his "true character" and confirm to his satisfaction that he's really right for her. After a while he realizes that he's being stupid, that there's no way he'd uncover anything with what he's doing, he just doesn't want to admit that he might be good for her. As this goes on he follows them to a movie theatre that's showing an old crime thriller. As he remembers her inviting him to a movie before, he sees a scene of a girl running on a beautiful beach in the sunset and realizes that he recognizes it. Early on when he first started dating Mika she'd insisted on renting said movie, and immediately fast-forwarded to that scene, talking about how when she was a kid she'd seen that scene over and over with someone, who never wanted to but always relented and watched it with her. She describes this person as "a boy who was my boyfriend for a day", and hearing this simultaneously depresses him and makes him determined to not end up like that, and so sparks his determination to make her his wife. As they lie in bed he hides his depression but she insists that she wouldn't hate him for feeling down, or for getting angry, or really anything, because what she loves most about him is the way he honestly shows his feelings toward her. Sure enough, as they're leaving Mika cheerfully talks to Taro about how they used to watch that beach scene over and over when they were little. Nishimori, watching this, recalls Mika throwing away her necklace representing "trusting love" and begins to feel maybe he doesn't need to do anything to change the future this time, that they'll work it out on their own. As they talk she recalls their last meeting when they'd promised to meet again (no mention of the promise to marry), and she admits that she'd not really believed they'd ever be able to meet again, she just said it to try and drive away her sadness at losing a best friend. Taro responds that he'd earnestly believed that they'd see each other again, because he's bad at lying. At the end, Mika sadly says that yeah, she too finds lies to be painful.

[BWTraveller]

Spoiler for 43:

They're back from the "date", and Taro is freaking out because the culture festival is coming up and it was somehow decided that the student council should put on a play. Since currently the SC is just Taro, with Nishimori and Mika as unofficial helpers (though Mika pretty much leaves immediately anytime Nishimori shows up), he's naturally freaking out at the scale of what's expected. As he complains that he wanted to experience the "culture festival magic" where people tend to get girlfriends during that time, Nishimori decides that this would be the perfect scenario to set the spark and get the two together. Nishimori then races off to ask the rest of the group to help out, and also to apologize for his actions and secrecy. Turns out Mika had already asked them, and he finds out that they actually have very handy connections and experience in costume and set design. As Nishimori remarks how surprised he is that he didn't know about this side of them Miyama complains that he's the one they know nothing about, refuses to help and angrily leaves. Madoka and Yoshida have to stop Nishimori from going after him, telling him that his relationship with Miyama meant more to him than he realizes and it'll probably take a while for him to come around. On the other hand, those two are eager to help, partly out of gratitude for how he's changed their lives. As they walk back together after school, Nishimori says he'll try to write the script, though he's not entirely sure if he'll be able to do a good job at it. As they ask if he'll be the main character, we flash back to see Nishimori agreed to help with the play only if Taro promised to confess to Mika afterward. Taro's uneasy about this of course, partly because he knows Nishimori is in love with her and partly because honestly he's not sure he likes her that way himself. It closes as Nishimori declares that he's not going to be the MC, that his role is to make it the best possible stage for them.

Honestly, while I've sometimes had some fair predictions, I'm not sure where this will go next. I could think of a variety of next steps from here. I wouldn't be terribly surprised if this leads to another jump, given how much is building up and how much uncertainty there is.

[BWTraveller]

Spoiler for 44:

Nishimori manages to finish the script in a mere three days. He started with Romeo and Juliet then made an arrangement, in which Romeo is barely alive but unable to move as he sees Juliet kill herself, then as he finally dies he suddenly finds himself back at their first meeting. After realizing he's not dreaming he decides that no matter what magic has caused this to happen, he'll find a way to avert that cursed fate and bring a future where they'd be happy. Everyone loves it and even Mika expresses a quiet approval. After a brief montage of their long practice time we get to the dress rehearsal. Nishimori reminds Taro of the promise that he'd confess to Mika at the end of the culture festival, and while Taro agrees Nishimori is somewhat aggressive as he tells him to be resolved to this. Taro replies that he thinks Nishimori's the one that's not resolved as Mika comes out in her costume, taking Nishimori's breath away. As Taro tells her how beautiful she looks he flashes back to his wedding, loses track of what's what and has to be reminded to go start the narration. As he's reciting the narration he recalls Taro's assertion that Nishimori's the one who hasn't made up his mind. He stumbles hard as he recites the end as Romeo remembers all the loops he'd taken and his conviction that this time they'd be happy, that the future they'd finally obtained is one that no one would be able to change; he keeps arguing in his head against Taro's assertion, insisting that he'd been doing all this to make a happy future, but as he gazes at the last line, where Romeo kisses Juliet, he breaks down. Madoka runs in angrily to tell Nishimori to do the narration properly only to find that he'd run off.

Edit: one thing I forgot to mention that I kind of suspect may be significant later on:

Spoiler:

When they're talking about Nishimori's script, and everyone says how much they like the new take on it, Mika not only agrees but goes on to say that she think it better that Juliet should manage to be with the person she wants. Nishimori didn't notice, but given her conflicted behavior up to that point it's not hard to take a bit more meaning than merely her liking the story.

[BWTraveller]

Big surprise this time around...

Spoiler for 45:

As said, Nishimori ran away imagining those famous lines, only she's whispering "wherefore art thou Tooru?". He curses himself for always deciding he's not suited for his love but then losing confidence, suffering and running away. Yet again he decides that if he doesn't have the guts to face the scenario he's set head-on then he should just jump to the end. Unfortunately, while everyone was looking for him Taro went straight to where Nishimori was (the stairs where they'd previously talked) and again caught him before he could jump. Taro took him to Yoshida's family's workshop and showed him Miyama guiding a bunch of people in making the set work. Akiho shows up and confronts him about how he's helping Nishimori behind his back; as she puts it they're in a sort of "cold war". Miyama spills that what really has him mad is that Nishimori won't just spill his guts about what's bothering him, saying that at first Nishimori had honestly and boldly told him exactly what he was feeling, how much he loves Mika, but somewhere along the line suddenly started to close himself off, hold back, hesitate at the crucial moments and basically deny his own happiness.

As Taro and Nishimori walk along Taro talks about how everyone's working so hard, trying to make the play he wrote, yet here he is with him instead. Taro asks if Nishimori's truly happy and he finally admits that no, he's hurting. At first he only cared about his own happiness (title drop), but then when that happiness is there within his reach he gets nervous, starts to wonder if he's worthy of such happiness, if it's OK for him to grasp it. Ultimately, he can't progress and decides that a supporting role is more his speed. He denies himself, declares it's far grander to work for someone else's happiness, but still he can't deny that Mika is his happiness.

As Taro puts it, it's because he's Nishimori that he can love her, but it's because he's Nishimori, who has absolutely no confidence, that he can't love her; it's almost like the narration from the play. When he looks up Nishimori is once again hanging from a railing prepared to fall, declaring that Mika belongs with Taro and telling him to wake him once he falls. He denies Taro's claims that a fall from this height would do more than just knock him out due to personal experience, but at the same time declares that Taro and Mika are more important to him than whether he can move afterward. Taro retorts that if he loves her that much he should take the lead role himself; Nishimori immediately refuses, insisting that Mika may wish that herself, but even if she wishes it now there's no telling how it'll be in the future.

Here, Taro shouts back that he does indeed know. Mika does want to be with Nishimori, and if she's not with him there's no way she'll be able to be truly happy. He's seen it far better than even Nishimori. As Nishimori asks what he means about having "seen" it, Taro responds that the main character of the story is Nishimori, and he knows this better than anyone as he too has been having the time-leaps.

[Greenish Growth]

Well, now that's very interesting indeed.

When the Japanese use the term "Munakuso" to describe stories does that mean "something that hurts your heart"? I can't find the definition of the term on the internet, but I see it used a lot to describe the stories that I read these days.

[BWTraveller]

Can't say I've heard that term before. When I look the word up "disgusting" keeps coming up (makes sense since it combines the word for "chest" and the word for "sh!t"), and I honestly don't feel that fits for this (at least I don't feel any disgust), but yeah it definitely can be a hard read. I'm keeping with it because I earnestly believe it's heading to a happy ending, and I can go through a ton of tribulations in a plot if it ends with a happy or at least hopeful conclusion.

[BWTraveller]

Finally into our next jump this time around, and for the first time he has a companion.

Spoiler for 46:

Arikawa Taro begins to explain his power. Like Nishimori he too does indeed have the power to jump through time, but in his case he can control where he jumps. On top of that, he also has "prophetic dreams"; more specifically, he sees the events of Nishimori's jumps as dreams, but in the process also sees well past Nishimori's death. Many of these have Mika marry Mizusawa, though that always ends in divorce and him paying for his crimes, but regardless of whether she marries him or not, she's always seriously scarred by things that happen and ends up filled with regret over not having noticed Nishimori or not having trusted him or simply not having been able to protect him. Whatever the case, things end up very bad for her when she loses him. At the same time, Taro had made various attempts to end up with her himself, as he too cares for her, but it never worked out and always ended up with all three of them suffering.

He almost manages to convince Nishimori that he really is the "Romeo" of this story, before Nishimori hits on one thing Taro had been oddly vague about: just how did the three of them suffer. When Nishimori demands more clarity on this, Taro desperately tries to dodge, and even comes close to vomiting just from picturing it. No matter how hard he tries though Nishimori refuses to buy it and takes the plunge, telling him that if he can really jump through time himself to follow him into the future and show him. He falls, thinking there's no way he could be "Romeo", and suddenly finds himself with his face in a toilet at a bar. As he starts to tell an employee that he's fine now, Taro appears behind him having apparently been in the next stall in the same state. Once the employee leaves he puts his hand on his shoulder and says that he followed as told, and invites him to come and see for himself how things turn out.

[Greenish Growth]

Oh oh, I'm afraid to find out what that's about. Might be painful again.

"Munakuso" is obviously an unpleasant feeling, but in what way I'm not sure. It seems to be used for painful or unpleasant feelings generated from a relationship scene in a story, but I don't know what those scenes have in common. They vary so much. I should compile a list of chapters where Munakuso is mentioned as a warning and go from there. Maybe it's from relationships that are threatened to be torn apart? I'll figure it out some day, Thanks for looking it up.

[BWTraveller]

Well, I can see how this would come as "everyone suffering". Can't say I like this version of Mika though...

Spoiler for 47:

The chapter starts out back in the past with Akiho talking to Miyama about the character of Paris in Romeo and Juliet, how he's not in the play Nishimori wrote. Miyama doesn't even remember him and Akiho has barely any recollection, but Miyama's shocked to realize that Juliet had a fiance but married Romeo. As Akiho mentions remembering that Romeo kills Paris we jump to the future.

As Taro and Nishimori are walking along Taro refuses to elaborate on the unhappy state to come, until they reach his house and Mika is waiting for him, now Taro's wife. As Nishimori talks to them they look like perfect lovebirds, reminiscing about how Nishimori was like their cupid, how they got together right after the festival and have been together ever since. The more he hears the more doubtful Nishimori is about this "suffering" Taro spoke of. He, too, has had a budding relationship with a woman through a dating app and is set to meet her for the first time the next day (he and she never post their face on their profile or gallery so neither knows what the other looks like). As he goes to bed, Nishimori concludes that Taro must simply not have any self confidence that he can make Mika happy and is trying to foist that responsibility on him instead, and decides that by doing well with his new girlfriend he'll not only break any remaining ties with Mika but help Taro to gain some confidence for himself.

The next day his "girlfriend" who calls herself Hosshii on the app says she's waiting in front of a shop in a black outfit. He sees a beautiful model-like woman in black and approaches her, only for her displeased look on hearing the name to make it clear he has the wrong person. As he leaves he hears a voice behind him apologizing for having gone into the shop for a moment. He turns around, and Mika is there, clearly just as shocked as him, while somewhere else Taro comments that no matter what happens, destiny is bound to pull the two together.

As I said, I'm not entirely happy with this as I'm not a fan of infidelity, and would prefer that a person break ties before pursuing someone else, but I think I get what the author's aiming for here. I'd talked before about agency, how it sometimes felt like having the future change depending on one character's actions reduced the other characters' control of their lives, but I think I may have a new perspective now.
I get the feeling the author wasn't so much keeping Mika from showing any personal control in her life as holding to the concept of soulmates, or destined partners. No matter what either does or where they go, destiny will always find a way for their paths to once more meet, join and move as one. As such, no matter what anyone does, every path will end either with her together with him, or after his death realizing that no one could ever hold a bigger place in her heart.

[BWTraveller]

Just when I think I've figured out where this roller coaster's going, it throws me for an even crazier spin...

Spoiler for 48:

Nishimori is shocked to see Mika there, only for her to introduce herself as "Hoshida Miki". He's naturally confused, wonders if she just looks like her, and introduces himself as "Nishimura Satoru". They continue their date and every step it's obvious that she's Mika, but as he clings to the idea that the happiness he saw back at Taro's house is real he desperately tries to convince himself that she's just precisely identical, with the same mole, the same look, same mannerisms, same everything. He finally starts to break and accept reality when she tells once more the story about how she moved in high school because her astronomy-buff dad didn't like a neighboring building blocking his view of the night sky. Right as he starts to ask, she says that she really wants to try "that thing" they talked about in their chats. He agrees confused and as they ride along desperately tries to scan the old messages, only to find that everything but "Yeah I'd love to try that" had been deleted. He follows along as they go to a hotel, and to a room, and then she asks him to roll over on the bed, as she "can't do it" if he faces her. As he lies there struggling with his mixed thoughts, we see Mika strip to her underwear, and pull out some lotion and a massive strap-on. She talks about how she'd always wanted to try this, and asks if it's his first too, becoming happy that she'll be able to "have his first". He naturally freaks out as she reaches to pull down his pants (as the title "I'd die to have your virginity" again crosses the panel) and jumps back. She argues that he too had been real enthusiastic to try this, but he insists something that massive would kill him. As she says they'll go with a more "normal play" for the day he runs to the door. As she gags him he finally puts together what he meant by "we'll all suffer". He finally pushes her down on the bed, looking back over how hard he'd tried to bluff and hide his lack of resolve and how it'd led to something like this, and finally admits his identity and demands that she also stop the farce. Mika breaks down in tears, asking why he'd say the truth at this point, saying she wishes he'd just continue to lie just like "back then".

I seriously didn't expect this. I could see how it could happen, with all the frustration she'd been through. Still, looks like this time around it's largely about being honest with himself, admitting what he wants to do and be and actually going for it. He was wrong to obsess over being her first and only, yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she's better off without him.

[Greenish Growth]

Yeah, that's a bad future that's for sure.

I wonder if there will be another problem he'll have to deal with after this one. Is there any way of knowing how popular this manga is?

[BWTraveller]

I'm not sure. Doesn't look like the site posts view counts or anything, and I don't really know where to go to get such counts or the number of sales for the volume releases.

[BWTraveller]

Spoiler for 49:

Nishimori and Mika are sitting on the bed, while Nishimori wonders just how things turned out this way. Apparently Mika had always been more on the sadistic side but never suggested anything even remotely close to this when they were married. Mika worries that Nishimori must hate her now, tries to tell him that this is her first time doing this though she doubts he'd believe her. When he asks if things hadn't been going well with Taro she insists things had been fine, that he's really kind and serious and they're fairly happy, but somehow they just don't match up. Something's always been missing: Nishimori Tooru. When he responds that they seemed to understand and connect with each other really well, she pulls out one item she'd had in the bag along with the "toys": the script from the play back in high school. When Nishimori was backstage, she and Taro had met up and decided, at her suggestion, to scratch out the kiss scene. Apparently it was around then that she realized that he wasn't her destiny, but only today did she finally feel completely certain that her destiny, her soulmate, could only be Nishimori. She'd not even planned to come to the meetup up to yesterday, and while in the shop had thought of leaving so many times, until she saw him, the one she longed for most, brought to her again without any plan from either of them, and felt more than ever that this wasn't merely love, it was fate.

When she finishes crying, they part ways, but she asks to meet again and says she's going to tell Taro everything. While he wants her to rethink things, she insists that it can't be anyone but him. Even if it feels right for a moment, in the end she's sure she'll always come to regret not choosing him. She's certain that no matter how many times she reincarnates, at the end he's the one she'll choose. She begs him not to hate her, and he insists he never could before running away.

Nishimori calls Taro up, who says he's on a bridge, though he doesn't say what bridge. He says that the path in this timeline is absolute now, that he's tested it over and over and it always ends the same: he decides to go back to high school by throwing himself off the bridge; Mika sees this on the news and thinks it's about Nishimori, and kills herself to follow him. He goes on to say that he has no intention of making up with Mika in this timeline, though he'll happily help him out if he'll agree to go back to the past and confess to her properly. Naturally, either way Mika will die. Taro feels bad for her, but hey, they'll both return to the past, and in that past she'll be alive. Nishimori remembers all the other timelines, but no matter how bad they'd gotten Mika had lived; thanks to this, he can't help but agree that even with other futures having her being raped or married to a predator, this is the absolute worst timeline. Returning would be easy yes, but he can't bear to just abandon this Mika to her death.

Nishimori desperately tries to keep Taro talking while he looks for him. He insists that they can work it out if they work together, that Taro shouldn't want this end either, to which Taro replies that Nishimori was the one who insisted on going and seeing how this ends. After trying so many times and never being able to really match up with Mika, Taro's heart had gradually been ground to ruin. When Nishimori brings up that Taro loves her too, Taro reminds him that those words had never left his mouth. He can't deny that she's a wonderful person, but his happily treasured memories were all from their childhood, and as he'd said whenever Nishimori asks, he doesn't really know how he feels about her now. Taro goes on to call himself "one hell of an ateuma (ateuma is apparently either a stallion brought to a mare to see if she's ready to mate or some kind of spoiler; not sure exactly). His conversation gets kind of weird and I'm not sure exactly what it's suggesting. He says at the start Nishimori wasn't even there. That it makes sense that Nishimori would think of him as the "main character" because he was. But it never worked, once he popped the lid it turned out to be doomed, there was no way Mika and he could ever work out. Nishimori demands to know what he means, why he wouldn't exist if Taro hadn't been there, partly out of confusion and partly to keep him talking until he can reach him and stop him from jumping. Taro responds that there seems to be a little time left, so he confirms that yeah, Nishimori and Mika have always been connected, ever since they were five years old.

The last part on this week is very confusing. Maybe it's the limit to my understanding of the language, but some of the lines don't seem to make much sense to me. It's clear that Taro knows something that Nishimori doesn't, or that he forgot. I've had moments when I was uncertain where things were going, but honestly no chapter has left me more confused and blind to the future paths.

[BWTraveller]

And here begins Taro's backstory.

Spoiler:

When Taro was five he started having strange dreams of a "strange woman" (now clearly Mika) crying, every night. His dad chalked it up to stress over the impending move. He was naturally stressed over this, especially since he wouldn't be able to see his best friend and crush Mika every day anymore, though Mika tried to tell him that when the new bridge was finished they'd be able to see each other every day with ease. Finally, the night before the move he saw himself crying instead of the woman. He went to say goodbye to Mika, planning to confess and ask her to marry him in the future, but with the confusion over the dreams, the stress of the move and his natural shyness he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Without saying it, he ended up just keeping everything bottled up inside until he threw a tantrum in the car on the way to the new house. His dad turned to try and calm him right as they approached an intersection, and noticed all too late that another car was driving through. The crash was horrible, and he passed out, only to wake up as an adult, in a strange and near-empty room with an article on the wall about the deaths of the Nishimori couple and their son Tooru.

Mika comes in, gets angry that he's dwelling on it again, then says that she thinks they should separate for a while because she feels like she's going to break herself soon. Terribly confused by this large body and situation, he goes for a walk, and gets excited when he sees the now-complete bridge, runs across it to find "Mika" (still not clear that it was Mika who greeted him earlier) only to get run over by a truck and wake up the day before the move. He starts to deliberately repeat this over and over, always trying but failing to confess, always throwing a fit, always waking up in the future, and dying sometime fairly soon after to once more repeat his one last day together with Mika. Finally, after countless loops he grows to realize just how wrong this is, how he'll never be able to move forward this way, and so he cries like in the dream and asks Mika to marry him. Having heard her agree, he leaves calmer, confident that he'll always be her one true love, and without the fit as a distraction his father's able to stop at the intersection, and a cheerful five-year-old Tooru looks out his car window.


So Taro's powers first awoke because of an accident that killed Tooru, and he was unable to move forward until he accepted his situation and thus avoided taking Tooru's life, without ever knowing that this turned his life from a path where he would indeed get together with Mika but neither would be happy to one where someone else would take a far larger place in her heart. Kind of tragic for him. I really hope that the author gives him someone to be happy with by the end of the story, considering all he's been through. Either way though, it makes me wonder whether the connection between them is the reason why Tooru has the same power (or for that matter whether it really started with one or the other, or as a result of both of them.

[Greenish Growth]

Confessing at five years old? That's awfully young. I distinctly remember myself not liking girls in that way until around my eleventh birthday.

But that was a very long time ago. Maybe people mature earlier nowadays (a little).

[BWTraveller]

To be fair, one could argue whether his feelings were quite the same as the "love" one would experience at a later age. From her statements it sounds like Mika didn't really grasp it either back then, saw it more as a promise to be together forever.

[BWTraveller]

Spoiler for 51:

Taro continues his story, about how he grew up, but always somewhere deep down remained that boy from that day. He thought of trying to find a way to contact her many times, but never could. Eventually he becomes a salaryman and one day a coworker approaches him to ask him to accompany him to a funeral. A business associate by the name of Nishimori, whom Taro had briefly encountered at a meeting but hardly remembered, had fallen in front of a train. The coworker had been assigned to work with him and ended up invited to the funeral, but he felt awkward going on his own and thus asked Taro to come with. There, Taro was shocked to find Mika, greeting everyone as Tooru's widow. Not only does he recognize her as Mika due to her beauty mark and name, but he also realizes that the dreams he'd been having his whole life were of her on this day. For the first time he really comes to grips with the fact that he may have some kind of power. Even so, he's so caught up in his memories of her that he can't stop himself from going to "confirm". He talks to her and, after her shock at meeting him again, they talk for a while about the past; she's quite grateful since if she's not distracting herself she's quick to break down. Eventually as they reminisce he stupidly starts to ask if she remembers his proposal only to stop short as he sees her sobbing. She apologizes that even now she can't stop her mind from going back to him, wishing she could go back to that day and change his path even just a little, maybe ask him to go to a store or something, to stop his death. She thanks him for trying to cheer her up, but she realizes it's hopeless, and that for her entire life Tooru is the only one she can truly love like this. Taro hears that, remembers her promise that'd stuck with him since they were five, and is disgusted with him self from the bottom of his heart for having tried to bring something like that up at a time like this.

Even though he only suspected, Taro decided to test his power for Mika's sake. He quickly confirmed that yes, if he died he could jump back in time, and moreover that if he wanted it badly enough he could choose the time he returns to. Standing there once more in front of five-year-old Mika on the last day before he moves, he decides to speak honestly to her, asking her to listen even though she'd probably not understand. He tells her he'd thought long about what to do here, whether to tell her his feelings, or start a fight and break their relationship completely, or even go further back, though he believes his feelings about this day are so strong that he'd still just wind up here. She just means that much to him, just as Nishimori means that much to her (though she has no idea who this "Nishimori" is). He promises he won't let her cry, that he'll save him no matter what, so he just asks that she not forget him as they'll definitely meet again. Taro tells Nishimori that up to now he'd changed countless lives, but even before that he'd changed Taro's own life. Right at that moment Nishimori reaches him, tells him he'd talked too long and declares that he won't be jumping, but the three of them will fix this future together.

I really, really hope the author gives Taro someone else to love. He's been fighting just as hard as Tooru to protect Mika and find a happy future, and I honestly don't want to see a "happy ending" where he is left alone. I definitely want to see Mika and Tooru end up happy together, but just as much I want to see Taro find someone he can love even more than Mika.

[BWTraveller]

Spoiler for 52:

Nishimori tries to drag Taro away, telling him he took too long, though Taro says he's right on time. Nishimori rips off his jacket, tired from the size of the bridge as Taro begins to talk of just when he realized Nishimori's power. When Nishimori was hit by Yoshida's 2-by-4, he spent three weeks in the hospital, and Mika, who came by every day, met up with Taro who'd gone there with stomach problems. They exchanged contacts and she told him about Nishimori, so when Taro got out of the hospital he decided to meet and talk with him, only to be shocked to find that Nishimori was uninjured and Mika's contact info had disappeared from his phone. It was at that point that he realized Nishimori also had the power to cross time, and that he started to see the various futures in his dreams. This continued until he started seeing the same dream over and over, every night, of a grown Mika standing on the top of the wishing tower, crying as she wishes she'd believed Nishimori, straight from that first Christmas night. Finally Taro decided to give them another chance; yeah, Nishimori didn't jump back to the start because he killed himself, it was Taro who pulled him back there. Nishimori's only able to move things a little bit on the clock that Taro can freely manipulate, and ultimately he can make things work out however he wants, with the sole exception that he can't change Mika's heart. Thus he just wants to find a future where she'll be happy, and, having said his piece, he grabs Nishimori's jacket and declares that this isn't a future where she can be happy, and finally jumps. Nishimori runs to the train station where he'd first died, where Taro said Mika would be at that time, desperately denying Taro's claims about unavoidable fate, declaring Taro'd just given up but he wouldn't. No matter what it takes, he swears he'll make her happy, and change the "destiny" Taro saw in this future. As Mika sits at the station she hears people talk about a suicide on the bridge, and when she looks up the news on her cell sees Nishimori's jacket. When she can't reach his phone she decides to jump in front of a train, but right at the last moment Nishimori reaches her and pulls her back. It ends with Taro waking up in the river where he and Taro had jumped in the past, next to a seemingly lifeless Nishimori while Nishimori stands next to Mika in the future, declaring to himself that if he can make her happy in this future there's no need to go back.

Rather odd development this time, kind of looks like we've got a timeline split, which begs the question of what till happen when the other time traveler decides to return but Nishimori chooses to stay in the future. Is Nishimori going to be dead in the past until/unless he returns? Is he just going to go on with various memories lost? I suspect something will happen to make him return, but I'm curious how long it'll take or how it'll happen.

[BWTraveller]

OK, not gonna lie, some of this week's chapter felt a bit like a cop-out.

Spoiler for 53:

It starts out with everyone gathered around a hospital bed in the past, with Taro explaining that he'd tried to stop Nishimori from jumping but failed. Nishimori is basically comatose at the moment, while in the future he's just caught Mika and is now walking her home. Future Mika tells him that she plans to tell Taro tonight about them, and Nishimori panics a bit over the fact that she doesn't know about his death. He worries over what to say, wondering if she'd want to know why he was there with him and such, or how she'd react if he wasn't there when she found out. At the same time, in the past, Mika's sitting by his bed, accusing him or running away again. She proceeds to call him a liar and talk about all the times he'd lied to her, accusing him of claiming to have lied for her sake but really just wanting to protect himself, and even says that she'd always realized how he feels no matter how hard he tried to pretend otherwise. She goes on to say that she'd been lying a lot too, trying to put on a strong front, lying about her own feelings to keep him at a distance, but she doesn't want to lie anymore. She wants to be with him, now and from here on out, she wants to always be at his side. While all this is happening, in the future he's still walking Mika home when she decides to buy them some drinks at a vending machine. As she's standing there, she gets a call from the police, and turns in shock toward Nishimori. Nishimori on the other hand notices a sign above on the building had gotten loose and is about to fall. He jumps forward to save her only for both of them to be crushed and him to wake up in front of his parents in the hospital. He asks what day it is and finds out that it's the actual day of the culture festival. He literally throws his father when he tries to stop him from leaving and runs out, determined to stop running and tell her that he loves her.

I'd imagined a few different ways for Nishimori to return to the past, like maybe telling future Mika the whole truth and her either telling him to go or killing him to send him back. All were kind of cheesy, but I certainly didn't expect some sort of Deus Ex Machina to throw him back like that. Oh well, guess the author wrote himself into a bit of a corner or something.

[Greenish Growth]

Chapter 53:

Spoiler:

So when Nishimori jumps back at the end, that means that he got back after Mika left?

Or did he jump back to a different timeline where Mika didn't even say she wants to be honest?