Nanoha FanFiction Discussion

[Wild Goose]

Due to questions and the like, I'd like to clarify: Dedication was inspired by Nodsri from Darkscribes and Spammatorium, who had a signature that inspired this whole thing. It went like this: "Oh Tamaki Nami-chan, I love you; I would wear your skin while rubbing myself erotically." I finally decided, on spur of the moment, to use it as the setup for a fic. (Previously Kagerou always suceeded in talking me out of it.)

Originally Posted by BPHaru

Software is not that expensive, at least not for something massive like Office, it should be around $150. But I think you can get it for free too, at lest here my University gave Microsoft licenses for free thanks to MSDNAA, so if you studied you could have asked for licenses at your university, but if you're graduated probably you lost those benefices.

My monthly salary: RM850.
Legit price of Microsoft Office in Malaysia: RM600.
Money left over: RM 250
Goose's typical monthly costs: RM750.
Amount Goose is short of: -RM500

Thus if I buy Microsoft Office I am broke and unable to even go to work. As I am not a university student and am working, this is an unacceptable expense and situation. Especially since I need to spend at least RM400 a month on fuel and highway tolls just so that I can go to work. (This month my travel costs were RM550. The pain ;___; And that's not counting the manifold repairs my car needs.)

(For the uninitiated: It's like an American earning $850 and having to pay $600 for software. It's just not worth it. *shakes head*)

Thanks for the comment Kha, I just checked some of the posts of Goose on OC thread, and he really was mean to you. After his last post here, I don't know what to think...

Kha and I are tsundere to each other. Kha takes it a lot more seriously than I do - and part of the problem stems from the fact that Kha is on a Khrack high while I try and remain grounded in sanity.

I was really happy yesterday because someone who isn't very frequent to this thread came here just to dedicate something for me and for Vivio, but now after we gave him our gratitude he showed us a totally different face...

I'm not sure what you mean by showing you a different face since I believe my deadpan snarking was rather obvious. At any rate, while I may have bluntly replied to you and Vivio (I tend to be blunt in my speech), my sentiments towards NanoFate - or more specifically, the NanoFate legion - have been obvious and are a matter of common knowledge, so I have never shown you a different face. You're only just realising it. Though I have to wonder how Vivio can go "Nice Story, thanks," to a story about somebody raping and killing their best friend.

Besides, so what if I prefer Kyouya/Miyuki/Nanoha? I hold a special place for kyoudai-ai in my heart . Ah, a love that cannot be denied~

Originally Posted by Kha

After suspending flame alarms, I do wonder what is going on in Fate's head really, to get so OOC. Almost as if she got Grace'd.

Aftermath, the follow-on to Dedication, will address this.

[Sassy_Bread]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

DIVIDED DESTINY
Two People, Two Paths

Spoiler for Divided Destiny, pt. 02:

After being stuck in those hot vehicle cabs all day, a shower sounded really good to Nanoha. Not to mention ditching her environmental suit and sweat-soaked clothes. She didn't even want to think about having to sit around in them for any longer that she had to. With her decision made, she pivoted and began the trek back to the Residency her room was located in.

The structure was located in the second housing section built for the colony. That also meant it was filled to capacity since the section she had just come from was to be the 5th. Nearing her destination, the frequency of other colonists increased. Parents and their children walked along hand-in-hand, workers from different structures milled about either going to or coming from their jobs, and the occasional police officer zipped by on their electric scooter. Before she knew it, her destination was in sight.

Her room was located on the third floor of the structure, just down the hall from the stairs. While there was an elevator available, she often chose to take the stars as they tended to be faster. Plus the little extra walking wasn't going to kill her. If anything it helped her to retain her figure. A swipe of her ID card and the door slid aside to grant her entrance.

Since she was living alone, her place wasn't large though it also wasn't too small either. It came with the basic necessities of a small kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and a common room. A single window was located in the common room. From her room you could see the ancient volcano beyond the colony. While it seemed intimidating at times, it had a sort of natural beauty to it. A quick press of a button locked the door to provide her some added privacy before heading off to her room to shower.

The suit and helmet were tossed haphazardly in a corner and her clothes peeled off and dropped unceremoniously on the floor as she walked. In order to conserve space, the bathroom was installed with a single shower surrounded by frosted glass. It could barely fit 2 people comfortably and had no option of being used as a tub. Colonists were encourage to take short showers to conserve their water supply, though she did like to indulge with a long shower every so often. Today was not one of those days.

With towel wrapped around her body, she grabbed a second to dry her hair. She made her way back into her room and sat down at her dresser, eyes wandering over the the various items until they paused on one particular item. The towel was tossed aside to free her hands to pick up the necklace. It was a simple, brown rope and clasp with strung through the gold setting that held a red orb. A smile came to her lips as she turned the small item between her fingers. It had been a gift from her friend back when she was still with Eden. Though it wasn't overly large, she preferred not to wear it while working so not to lose it around all the machinery and vehicles. Setting it around her neck, she wandered out into the small common room and out the window at the arid New Terra landscape. Her mind wandered to her friend Fate, wondering how she was doing in Eden.

A) I still haven't eaten yet. Best get some food before it gets too crowded.
B) Wander around the colony for a bit.
C) Change to Fate's PoV

Please post your choices BOLD and in DarkOrange

Previous Installments
-Intro
-Chapter 01

Although I would now have Nanoha go get something to eat...I think it's time to see how Fate's doing. C.
And yay for Raising Heart!

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Ladies and gentlemen, I present a rather short, and IMO touching NanoFate piece here, entitled Dedication.

This piece is dedicated to Haru, Vivio Testarossa, and the tireless work of the NanoFate legion, for NF is serious business and more important, than, say, defending the world, fighting the good fight, and killing Taliban.

Spoiler for Dedication:

Fate Testarossa smiled as she gazed at herself in the mirror, admiring her long blonde hair and shapely figure, dressed in very, very sexy black lace lingerie. She arched her back and looked over her shoulder, pleased that the scars from Precia's whippings had faded so many years ago.

She was so pleased with herself that she purred, satisfied that all was ready for her darling Nanoha-chan. The doorbell rang and Fate pranced downstairs. Peeping through the eyehole, she confirmed the identity of her prey, opened the door and dragged Nanoha in, capturing the ponytailed girl's mouth with hers, deftly undressing her while closing and locking the door.

Nanoha was too distraction to realised that strapped to the small of Fate's back was a small leather scabbard, holding a knife...

* * * * *

In the aftermath of their lovemaking, Fate gazed lovingly into Nanoha's eyes, purring, "Oh, Nanoha-chan. I love you. Until the day I die I will love you, Nanoha-chan. I will love you more than that Ferret ever can. And I will dedicate my life to you, Nanoha-chan." She saw that Nanoha remained sileny, and joy blossomed in her heart, for lo! her love and desire was moved into silence by her declaration! And to prove her dedication...

"Oh, Nanoha-chan, how I love you. I will wear your skin while rubbing myself erotically every night," purred Fate, planting a kiss on Nanoha's lips.

Nanoha remained silent. It was hard for her to answer Fate, as her eyes gazed blankly and lifelessly at the ceiling, her lifeblood leaking into a bright red puddle that faded to dark brown as the life went out of it.

Love. Dedication. Let it not be said that Fate lacked these qualities.

~fin~

Oh LOL.
While the hardcore NanoFate fans may see this as a touching story...I kinda actually see the true purpose.
Anyways, beautiful story Goose. Although romantic in a way, it was also very hilarious (but wrong!). So yeah, I kinda agree with everyone else commenting on the fic (minus Kha and the NanoFate legion).
Btw, if you live near an area that uses public transportation, it'd be better if you just use it. It'll probably be cheaper than paying for your gas (regular subway/bus fare here is $2 for one ride, with subway-subway and bus-subway transfers free. Compare that to the prices of gas here...it's almost...$5..?).

Originally Posted by Tempest Dynasty

Should you desire to write over 43 million possible combinations, you are free to do so. However most people do not have the time, ability, or will to perform such a daunting task. The way it's being now in the thread is fine and reflects a simple democratic process that gives what most people want.

Stop complaining and just read it.

I agree. For most people, just writing all those possibilities is too much. And letsee...those people have lives, too; their existence is not being tied to a computer and writing fanfiction all day.

Hmm...I actually think somebody wants something else other than for a fanfic writer to actually do a CYOA fanfic with all choices present.

[BPHaru]

@Wild Goose

So... you don't like NanoFate? You don't post here too much so I didn't know about your personal preferences... from your first post I only saw the user from the Macross sub forum that went here to dedicate us a fic. I thought that you liked our works and that you were grateful for the efforts we are putting on bringing you new stuffs. We don't do it for nothing in exchange, but it's nice to receive this kind of appreciation from the community now and then, so yesterday after writting the post giving you the thanks for the dedicatory I went to sleep with a smile and feeling happy.
This morning when I realized thanks to Kha and your next post that you wrote that fic with ....other intentions?, even if I was very happy when I read it the first time, I can't avoid feeling ...wrecked? I don't know, this is something new to me, I don't recall having someone making something especially to make me feel bad... I don't even want to know the motives behind this fic because now I'm afraid that I did a mistake and that I deserved this kind of punishment.

I'm sorry for reacting this way, it's not like if I liked to feel this bad for something like this, but I'm very sensitive, and it hurts me a lot to see people doing this kind of things on purpose to others...

Saludos.

[Seraph42]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

DIVIDED DESTINY
Two People, Two Paths

Spoiler for Divided Destiny, pt. 02:

After being stuck in those hot vehicle cabs all day, a shower sounded really good to Nanoha. Not to mention ditching her environmental suit and sweat-soaked clothes. She didn't even want to think about having to sit around in them for any longer that she had to. With her decision made, she pivoted and began the trek back to the Residency her room was located in.

The structure was located in the second housing section built for the colony. That also meant it was filled to capacity since the section she had just come from was to be the 5th. Nearing her destination, the frequency of other colonists increased. Parents and their children walked along hand-in-hand, workers from different structures milled about either going to or coming from their jobs, and the occasional police officer zipped by on their electric scooter. Before she knew it, her destination was in sight.

Her room was located on the third floor of the structure, just down the hall from the stairs. While there was an elevator available, she often chose to take the stars as they tended to be faster. Plus the little extra walking wasn't going to kill her. If anything it helped her to retain her figure. A swipe of her ID card and the door slid aside to grant her entrance.

Since she was living alone, her place wasn't large though it also wasn't too small either. It came with the basic necessities of a small kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and a common room. A single window was located in the common room. From her room you could see the ancient volcano beyond the colony. While it seemed intimidating at times, it had a sort of natural beauty to it. A quick press of a button locked the door to provide her some added privacy before heading off to her room to shower.

The suit and helmet were tossed haphazardly in a corner and her clothes peeled off and dropped unceremoniously on the floor as she walked. In order to conserve space, the bathroom was installed with a single shower surrounded by frosted glass. It could barely fit 2 people comfortably and had no option of being used as a tub. Colonists were encourage to take short showers to conserve their water supply, though she did like to indulge with a long shower every so often. Today was not one of those days.

With towel wrapped around her body, she grabbed a second to dry her hair. She made her way back into her room and sat down at her dresser, eyes wandering over the the various items until they paused on one particular item. The towel was tossed aside to free her hands to pick up the necklace. It was a simple, brown rope and clasp with strung through the gold setting that held a red orb. A smile came to her lips as she turned the small item between her fingers. It had been a gift from her friend back when she was still with Eden. Though it wasn't overly large, she preferred not to wear it while working so not to lose it around all the machinery and vehicles. Setting it around her neck, she wandered out into the small common room and out the window at the arid New Terra landscape. Her mind wandered to her friend Fate, wondering how she was doing in Eden.

A) I still haven't eaten yet. Best get some food before it gets too crowded.
B) Wander around the colony for a bit.
C) Change to Fate's PoV

Please post your choices BOLD and in DarkOrange

While it ends in a good way to switch to Fate PoV, Im not ready for it so...
B cause i wanna see what life in her colony is like

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Ladies and gentlemen, I present a rather short, and IMO touching NanoFate piece here, entitled Dedication.

This piece is dedicated to Haru, Vivio Testarossa, and the tireless work of the NanoFate legion, for NF is serious business and more important, than, say, defending the world, fighting the good fight, and killing Taliban.

Spoiler for Dedication:

Fate Testarossa smiled as she gazed at herself in the mirror, admiring her long blonde hair and shapely figure, dressed in very, very sexy black lace lingerie. She arched her back and looked over her shoulder, pleased that the scars from Precia's whippings had faded so many years ago.

She was so pleased with herself that she purred, satisfied that all was ready for her darling Nanoha-chan. The doorbell rang and Fate pranced downstairs. Peeping through the eyehole, she confirmed the identity of her prey, opened the door and dragged Nanoha in, capturing the ponytailed girl's mouth with hers, deftly undressing her while closing and locking the door.

Nanoha was too distraction to realised that strapped to the small of Fate's back was a small leather scabbard, holding a knife...

* * * * *

In the aftermath of their lovemaking, Fate gazed lovingly into Nanoha's eyes, purring, "Oh, Nanoha-chan. I love you. Until the day I die I will love you, Nanoha-chan. I will love you more than that Ferret ever can. And I will dedicate my life to you, Nanoha-chan." She saw that Nanoha remained sileny, and joy blossomed in her heart, for lo! her love and desire was moved into silence by her declaration! And to prove her dedication...

"Oh, Nanoha-chan, how I love you. I will wear your skin while rubbing myself erotically every night," purred Fate, planting a kiss on Nanoha's lips.

Nanoha remained silent. It was hard for her to answer Fate, as her eyes gazed blankly and lifelessly at the ceiling, her lifeblood leaking into a bright red puddle that faded to dark brown as the life went out of it.

Love. Dedication. Let it not be said that Fate lacked these qualities.

~fin~

Creepy. Good (liked it in fact), but creepy.
Also one of teh NanoFate Loyalist

[Kha]

Oh don't get me wrong; it's a great short, and one that created a lot of question marks as to why Fate was Nice Boating. Goose already said he'll cover it in future, and so I'm interested.

It's just that Goose went and explained his intentions for writing the short in the OC thread, and later spoke of his reactions to you guys' posts missing the point; that was what I didn't agree with. Nothing to do with the fic, only the author, and yes I shouldn't have let that get in the way of the post. :/

[Knight of L-sama]

Lots of general replies so I didn't feel like being quote happy.

@ CYOA daunting-ness convo: Despite the idea that there /are/ 43 million something odd combination, I've actually read a published CYOA or two (I haven't even looked for them in a long time tho so I don't pretend to know them well )
And the thing is, they're carefully manipulated so that several choices eventually lead to the same thread later on, it's just a matter of which detour is taken first. That way, even tho it seems like a lot of choices, it's cut down drastically by overlapping "inevitabilities". Plus, every "chapter" is only one page, and that's like the length (or less) of a lot of shorts you see here, which don't take that long to write I imagine (compared to full length chapter chapters I guess). And if it's a short story in all with a fairly straightforward plot, it's all the more doable.

I'm getting myself of worked up (in a positive way) over this I suppose because now I'm considering making SC2 a "traditional" CYOA story to decide who Hayate ends up with. :\ What might be easier is to make one main storyline and then add in choices at key "chapters" so that if they had made a different decision at this junction, a different choice would have been made. But... meh. Now I'm just rambling.

@Goose+BPHaru+Spellchecking Talk: I don't know if where you reign from has it, but Firefox browsers now come with spellcheckers for posts and since you posted it under the spoiler tab thingy, you could just scroll through it and doublecheck all the red-underlined words and that would likely help majorly. Firefox is free too~ And there's nothing wrong with OpenOffice spellchecking (tho I use MS word XP most of the time now). I use WordPad for SC2 (cuz it loads faster and I'm too lazy to wait for MS word XP)

Bah... more rambling...

@Peoples about Hayate/Fate/Nanoha storyline: pt. 3 will come sometime after I finish the next ch. of SC2 and make sure I'm still ahead for my studying for classes. :3

@ALL: Any other recent shorts you'd like to see continued while I'm at it? Speak now or forever hold your peace...

[Saint X]

Originally Posted by Knight of L-sama

@ALL: Any other recent shorts you'd like to see continued while I'm at it? Speak now or forever hold your peace...

*folds in*

I have some short Subaru x OC action/comedy shorts (that are actually snippets from a much larger chapter) but meh... you guys are more concerned about Subaru's "crookedness" than what she could be paired up with

*leaves an MDE Bomb and folds out*

[Wild Goose]

Originally Posted by Sassy_Bread

Oh LOL.
While the hardcore NanoFate fans may see this as a touching story...I kinda actually see the true purpose.
Anyways, beautiful story Goose. Although romantic in a way, it was also very hilarious (but wrong!). So yeah, I kinda agree with everyone else commenting on the fic (minus Kha and the NanoFate legion).
Btw, if you live near an area that uses public transportation, it'd be better if you just use it. It'll probably be cheaper than paying for your gas (regular subway/bus fare here is $2 for one ride, with subway-subway and bus-subway transfers free. Compare that to the prices of gas here...it's almost...$5..?).

I live in Malaysia, Sassy, and there's no good public transport. If I take public transport, it's a 1 hour bus to the city center, and then another 1 hour to my workplace, 2 hours travel, a total of 4 hours per day.

If I drive? 20 minutes down, 20 minutes back. And I have really crappy hours too - if I work night shift, I start at 4pm and I typically get off work about 1 or 2 am, and public transport stops at 11.30 pm, so I'm stuck. So I HAVE to drive. I'm in Malaysia, not America - command of English notwithstanding.

I agree. For most people, just writing all those possibilities is too much. And letsee...those people have lives, too; their existence is not being tied to a computer and writing fanfiction all day.

Hmm...I actually think somebody wants something else other than for a fanfic writer to actually do a CYOA fanfic with all choices present.

As a writer, I have one path and one goal in mind. I write to fulfil that goal. Thus I run, not as a man with no purpose. Besides, if you want CYOA, go play Visual Novels and H-games Schoolmate, SB3, AG3 have been rather open-ended of sorts as well (though I prefer Front Mission 3. Mmm wanzer goodness. I'd play 5 but I don't have a PS2 and am running FM3 on a PSX emulator).

Originally Posted by BPHaru

@Wild Goose

So... you don't like NanoFate? You don't post here too much so I didn't know about your personal preferences... from your first post I only saw the user from the Macross sub forum that went here to dedicate us a fic. I thought that you liked our works and that you were grateful for the efforts we are putting on bringing you new stuffs. We don't do it for nothing in exchange, but it's nice to receive this kind of appreciation from the community now and then, so yesterday after writting the post giving you the thanks for the dedicatory I went to sleep with a smile and feeling happy.

Haru, it's not that I don't like NanoFate, it's that I don't think it's the end-all be-all the way you think it is, and really, you take it much, much too seriously. (Then again I was a member of the Freelance Alliance and Darkscribes, so...) I'm sure the NF legion is grateful for your efforts, but I'm not one of them.

I remember what you told me 7 months ago, that the work of the NanoFate legion is a noble calling equal to that of volunteer firefighters, and I disagree.

This morning when I realized thanks to Kha and your next post that you wrote that fic with ....other intentions?, even if I was very happy when I read it the first time, I can't avoid feeling ...wrecked? I don't know, this is something new to me, I don't recall having someone making something especially to make me feel bad... I don't even want to know the motives behind this fic because now I'm afraid that I did a mistake and that I deserved this kind of punishment.

Haru, the world does not revolve around you. Nor does it revolve around NanoFate. This fic was in the planning stages since November 2007 but Kagerou kept talking me out of writing it. Today he wasn't online, so there was nobody to talk me out of this. Hence why I put it up.

As for motives: I want to do a different spin on NanoFate. Most NanoFate fics I see have Fate being the bottom. This is a look at a different kind of Fate. And I also wanted to see what the reactions of the Legion would be, out of a sense of curiosity. To be honest I myself am surprised by the positive reception: I was expecting more negative responses.

I'm sorry for reacting this way, it's not like if I liked to feel this bad for something like this, but I'm very sensitive, and it hurts me a lot to see people doing this kind of things on purpose to others...

Haru, as I have said before, and will continue to say again, NanoFate is not everything, and the world does not revolve around you or the Legion. I won't deny being interested in the reactions of the Legion (as well as being apalled on one level - for God's sake Fate RAPED AND MURDERED HER BEST FRIEND, and there are people who're going, "NanoFate, yay!" ).

At any rate, the follow-up piece, Aftermath, will begin soon, as the canon characters and original characters try to pick up the pieces and ask that simple, yet difficult question: Why?

Persons to look out for:

Aurion Dauer: a friend of the Aces, the 36-year-old research mage and psychology expert seeks to uncover what happened to Fate, as a personal favor to Hayate, for he is her oji-chan...

Franz Jaeger: a self-confessed Fate fanboy, this brutal act by his idol has shaken him, and as he interviews her, the battle-hardened mage who grew up on the streets of a vicious civil war learns that the deepest nightmares of the heart can be as bad as the horrors of war...

[Seraph42]

Originally Posted by Knight of L-sama

@ALL: Any other recent shorts you'd like to see continued while I'm at it? Speak now or forever hold your peace...

Devil!Nanoha/Quack!Fate please

Cuteness, Evil, and Comedy rolled into one
Elfen Lied anyone

[Seraph42]

Sorry for the double post, but has any one read this yet:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4548349/...t_of_the_Heart

Its a nicely done Nanofate/Yuunoha story for those who like ether or both pairings
And from what I've seen Its pretty truthful about Nanoha's heart
Although he/she should have added another chapter for closure.

[Evil Rick]

Originally Posted by markesellus

Ooh, Vivio's a rebel. I like how it was Subaru who found them, though I was surprised that she fell unconscious. You freaked me out for a second, One chapter and Karil's already injured!?! But she's all good.

Originally Posted by Kai the Reaper

Wasn't expecting that... Subaru literally came out of nowhere. I really thought she had killed the poor little puppy coyote. Karil made it all seem as if tricking Vivio and Subaru was soo easy.

Right... Vita is gonna be killed by Toxipoth and you two are only worried of Vivio been a rebel

"Hugs Vita"

Don't worry Vita, I care for you T3T

XD

[BPHaru]

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

I remember what you told me 7 months ago, that the work of the NanoFate legion is a noble calling equal to that of volunteer firefighters, and I disagree.

Please, don't twist my words... I do admire the people who work for the sake of other, especially if they sacrifice the security of their lives when they are getting nothing in exchange. I would NEVER degrade the nobility of their act to the level of people which translate comics simply for the fun of others, because a life if more important than anything.
If I mentioned them, I can guarantee that I never looked down on their intentions, so I'm sorry if you misunderstood something I wrote. I used the search function in the forum to see if I have talked about firefighters here before, and if it was bad worded or something, but the only thing I found was this offensive post from your part, degrading me and the Peruvian culture (and I only visited that country one time...):
http://forums.animesuki.com/showpost...postcount=1009

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Haru, the world does not revolve around you.

Originally Posted by Wild Goose

Haru, as I have said before, and will continue to say again, NanoFate is not everything, and the world does not revolve around you or the Legion.

You said that you dedicated it to me, how do you think I couldn't be affected for your intentions?! Also you recognized that you wrote it don't expecting anything good from me, how do you expect I couldn't feel bad?

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Current standings for Divided Destiny:

A) I
B) I
C) IIII

[Wild Goose]

Originally Posted by BPHaru

You said that you dedicated it to me, how do you think I couldn't be affected for your intentions?! Also you recognized that you wrote it don't expecting anything good from me, how do you expect I couldn't feel bad?

With regards to your statement on firefighters, you made it to me in a PM. That's why you can't find it with the search function.

I also fail to understand how stating that I have never been impressed with Peru, or Latin America, is an offensive statement.

Haru, learn to recognise deadpan snark. That is all I have to say here.

The rest will be handled in PMs so as to avoid igniting yet another flamewar.

[Kagerou]

*peers into the thread*
So what's going on-

...
....
.....
......

What the hell is this?
Like seriously, what the hell is this?

...
....
.....

Grraaah, I don't... get it... anymore...

*Begins to throttle the ever living Hell out of Goose*

Stop. Causing! PROBLEMS!

Tempest: O-oi... stop that...
No! I can't take this anymore! Something's gotta give!
Aaron: Kagerou-san, violence is not the answer.... don't strange him...
He's deliberately antagonizing people! What else am I supposed to do guys?!
Tempest: Come on, Kagerou-san, that's enough.
But I-
Keroko: Stop it; let's go, we'll take you away, somewhere you don't have to worry about it, okay?
Keroko-san, but I... it's... *lowers head* ...this is all my fault, minna... you know? I gotta... make it go away... gotta end it...

Tempest: It's out of your hands now, Kagerou-san... come on, let's go...

*Is led by several members of Cadia to a secluded place, in the mountains.*

tl;dr: I'm taking a break from this place. I might show up on chat, or not. I can't take it anymore.

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Originally Posted by Kagerou

*peers into the thread*
So what's going on-

...
....
.....
......

What the hell is this?
Like seriously, what the hell is this?

...
....
.....

Grraaah, I don't... get it... anymore...

*Begins to throttle the ever living Hell out of Goose*

Stop. Causing! PROBLEMS!

Tempest: O-oi... stop that...
No! I can't take this anymore! Something's gotta give!
Aaron: Kagerou-san, violence is not the answer.... don't strange him...
He's deliberately antagonizing people! What else am I supposed to do guys?!
Tempest: Come on, Kagerou-san, that's enough.
But I-
Keroko: Stop it; let's go, we'll take you away, somewhere you don't have to worry about it, okay?
Keroko-san, but I... it's... *lowers head* ...this is all my fault, minna... you know? I gotta... make it go away... gotta end it...

Tempest: It's out of your hands now, Kagerou-san... come on, let's go...

*Is led by several members of Cadia to a secluded place, in the mountains.*

tl;dr: I'm taking a break from this place. I might show up on chat, or not. I can't take it anymore.

*pats Kagerou*

I know how you feel.

-------------

2.5 hours left to vote for Divided Destiny.

[ThEJeDI6911]

C Gotta put the nail in the coffin.

[Laith]

Originally Posted by Evangelion Xgouki

DIVIDED DESTINY
Two People, Two Paths

Spoiler for Divided Destiny, pt. 02:

After being stuck in those hot vehicle cabs all day, a shower sounded really good to Nanoha. Not to mention ditching her environmental suit and sweat-soaked clothes. She didn't even want to think about having to sit around in them for any longer that she had to. With her decision made, she pivoted and began the trek back to the Residency her room was located in.

The structure was located in the second housing section built for the colony. That also meant it was filled to capacity since the section she had just come from was to be the 5th. Nearing her destination, the frequency of other colonists increased. Parents and their children walked along hand-in-hand, workers from different structures milled about either going to or coming from their jobs, and the occasional police officer zipped by on their electric scooter. Before she knew it, her destination was in sight.

Her room was located on the third floor of the structure, just down the hall from the stairs. While there was an elevator available, she often chose to take the stars as they tended to be faster. Plus the little extra walking wasn't going to kill her. If anything it helped her to retain her figure. A swipe of her ID card and the door slid aside to grant her entrance.

Since she was living alone, her place wasn't large though it also wasn't too small either. It came with the basic necessities of a small kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and a common room. A single window was located in the common room. From her room you could see the ancient volcano beyond the colony. While it seemed intimidating at times, it had a sort of natural beauty to it. A quick press of a button locked the door to provide her some added privacy before heading off to her room to shower.

The suit and helmet were tossed haphazardly in a corner and her clothes peeled off and dropped unceremoniously on the floor as she walked. In order to conserve space, the bathroom was installed with a single shower surrounded by frosted glass. It could barely fit 2 people comfortably and had no option of being used as a tub. Colonists were encourage to take short showers to conserve their water supply, though she did like to indulge with a long shower every so often. Today was not one of those days.

With towel wrapped around her body, she grabbed a second to dry her hair. She made her way back into her room and sat down at her dresser, eyes wandering over the the various items until they paused on one particular item. The towel was tossed aside to free her hands to pick up the necklace. It was a simple, brown rope and clasp with strung through the gold setting that held a red orb. A smile came to her lips as she turned the small item between her fingers. It had been a gift from her friend back when she was still with Eden. Though it wasn't overly large, she preferred not to wear it while working so not to lose it around all the machinery and vehicles. Setting it around her neck, she wandered out into the small common room and out the window at the arid New Terra landscape. Her mind wandered to her friend Fate, wondering how she was doing in Eden.

A) I still haven't eaten yet. Best get some food before it gets too crowded.
B) Wander around the colony for a bit.
C) Change to Fate's PoV

Please post your choices BOLD and in DarkOrange

Previous Installments
-Intro
-Chapter 01

going with A though C has won already

Originally Posted by Evil Rick

The choose of Vivio

Spoiler for Chapter 16:

[Techno - Union battle ship

Vita wasn't sure of what to do, this... Toxipoth was a foe that she totally unknown, at least she had Graff Eissen in her hands

"TASTE_MY_POWER!" Toxipoth yelled while riseng both hands, Vita took a defensive position, waiting to see what he was gonna do next, from toxipoth hands started to come out smoke, lot of smoke, in just seconds, the room was full of it, it was corrosive, Vita couldn't breath neither see, the room was now covered with smoke

"'COUGH' 'COUGH', I can't... breath..." Vita covered her mouth and nose with one hand, she opened the eyes, but it was pointless, she couldn't see far from her nose

Suddenly, Vita felt a hit on her back, she falled over her knees, she turned but nothing could be seen, another hit, trhis one to her face, she hited the ground throwing blood from her mouth

"HA_HA_HA!!!" Vita could hear through the smoke, Toxipoth has her jus were he wanted

The mage tried to stand up, but another hit, this one to her leg, made her fall again

"I... can't win like this..." Vita said still covering her mouth and nose from the corrosive smoke, she feeled that her troath was burning

"YOU_CAN'T_BEAT_ME!_TELL_ME_WHAT_INFORMATION_YOU_G ET_fROM_THE_ISLAND_AND_I'LL_KILL_YOU_QUICK_OTHERWI SE_I_CAN_CONTINUE_THIS_ALL_DAY"

Vita didn't answered, she was just coughing, she was gonna die, if not by Toxipoth, it would be by the smoke
---------------------------

City of Dairou
Train Station

"Hey Vivio! He, come! You don't want to stay on the train right?" Karil said to Vivio raising her hand, Vivio was still on the train's exit, it was needles to say, but she was scared

[No one is forcing you to do this, Vi]

"I know, but it's Vita...

[Stop using Vita as an escuse, I know you very well, I knw why you are doing this]

"You don't know me Falling Soul" Vivio cleaned the tear who was falling from her chesk

[Vivio, you are not an Assasin, you can't kill the mens who are on that list, trust me... you don't need to prob anything to Nanoha and Fat]

"Shut up! SHUT UP!!!" Vivio's scream oif wrath was heared in the entire station, all the people turned to see her, a misterius girl who was crinbg in silence, noone deared to speak to her or to get close

"Shut up..."

[Your mothers love you]

"No they don't! Fate mama always saing that I'm irresponsable and reackless and Nanoha mama always handling me like a baby, never allowing me to improve or to get stronger"

[Vivio...]

"If they do really love me, they would turned me into a powerfull mage long ago, I want to be the greatest mage in the world, and if to do it, I must kill powerfull foes, then I'll do it... Karil said that the Black Dragon clan is formed with the most powerfull warriors and mages in the universe... maybe, this is a test, maybe they can make me stronger!"

[... althoug I misslike your decitions, it's my obligation to follow you and watch over you]

Vivio smiled and cleaned her tears

"Ha, and to scold me, I know how much you love to say 'I told you'"

[People say that one can learn much out of his mistakes... I supose that you had learn a lot until now]

"Vivio!" Karil screamed once more

"Hay! I'm going" Vivio ran out of the train in direction to Karil

"Uhmm... for a moment I though that you'll never come"

"Seems that you don't know me very well yet"

"Hi,hi... well, I'm gonna have a lot of time... well, if you decide to continue after what is going to hapen now..." Suddenly the smile on Karil's face disapeared

"He? What do you mean?"

[Vivio]

"Wait a second Fallinbg Soul, Karil, what are you talking about?"

[Vivio!]

"I told you to wait a second! Karil...

[VIVIO!!!]

"What?!!!"

[Troubles...]

Vivio turned and saw something strange ahead, like a cloud of smoke, she looked closer and spoted a female figure, purple hair, white cloths aproaching at full speed, it was...

"Subaru?!"

Indeed, it was Subaru on her jacket barrier, she was sckating really fast in direction to her

"Subaru! What are you..."

"Divine Busteeeeeer!!!!!!!!" Subaru passed Vivio and with strenght, she hited Karil, right in her chest, the girl was launched against the wall with violence

"Karil!!!" Vivio screamed

"Oh, my God!" Subaru replyed, she looked surprised for what she had done to Karil

Vivio ran at Karil who was on the ground

"Karil! Karil!"

Karil turned, her face resembled that she was feeling lot of pain, tears on her eyes and her nose bleeding

"Karil! Speak to me!"

"... A... Abe..." Karil replied

"Oh, no" Vivio said, carefully, she opened Karil's coat, Vivio's eyes get fulled of tears once more when she saw the little puppy Abe, he wasn't moving, he wasn't breathing, he was... dead

"Subaru! What have you done?!!!"

"Th-Th- They told me that she was dangerous! That she had you as hostage!" Subaru replied looking quite worried

"L-Like always... people judge you before even know you!" Shacking, Karil standed up, huging Abe's corpse, she ran away

"Karil wait!" Vivio screamed

"No... You are not going anyway!" Subaru added pointing at Karil

"No, leave her!" Vivio answered, pushing Subaru away

"Vivio! Out of my way! She's a criminal, the TSAB wants her!"

"She is my friend!"

Subaru looked shocked with the answer, Vivio turned pretending to follow Karil, but Subaru grabed her arm

"No, Vivio, you are coming with me!"

"Get your hands OFF ME!!!" Vivio hited Subaru on her face, Subaru was launched away and her head hited the wall, she falled unconcius

Realising hwat she had done, Vivio ran away, in the direction that Karil took

Vivio ran for several minutes, but there wasn't any signal of Karil, she keeped runing, until she was alredy in the herat of the City of Dairou, there was no signal of Karil

"Karil... come back..." Vivio said

Suddenly Vivio heared a ring phone, she turned, it was a public Phone, Vivio was unsure of what to do, the phone keeped ringing, she finally decide to answer it

"Uhmm... hello?"

"Hi, Vivio! You arrived just in time!"

"Karil? Is that you?"

"Yep! Hi,hi"

"Wait a second! How do you knew that Subaru was gonna attack you, how do you knew that I was gonna be here at this moment"

"I told you, I'm a smart girl, just a few calculations of time and your speed record, also, it was obvius that the TSAB would serach for us, sending the fastes mages (like Subaru) to the provinces, like the city of Dairou"

"Uh... well, that's..."

"Looks like you chossed to continue"

"... Doesn't because someone says that you must leave a friend, it means that you must do it'" Vivio understood, it was a prob, one of Karil

"Yes Vivio, you did it well!"

"Wait! Abe, Karil, I'm sorry for your Dog"

"He's not a Dog, he's a Coyote, and don't worry, he's Okay"

"Arf! Arf!" Vivio heared throught the phone the yells of the puppy

"But I saw him..."

"He was plaing to be dead, a little trick I though him, he, he"

Vivio couldn't help but laugh, Karil was truly a smart girl

"Were are you Karil?"

"I'm in the Dairoiumall's entrance, I'll wait for you here!"

Vivio leaved the phone, and head out to the Dairoumall, she had now a quest to follow, and now, she was a criminal too

A trick is always the best way to change perceptions. And now Vivio is going to fight the 7 guys and the TSAB? fair fight i guess

@Thread: The hell is happening? I leave for a few hours and this happens?... just stop now

[Vivio Testarossa]

D (Eat a hamburger), is my choice.

Originally Posted by Knight of L-sama

Lots of general replies so I didn't feel like being quote happy.

@ CYOA daunting-ness convo: Despite the idea that there /are/ 43 million something odd combination, I've actually read a published CYOA or two (I haven't even looked for them in a long time tho so I don't pretend to know them well )
And the thing is, they're carefully manipulated so that several choices eventually lead to the same thread later on, it's just a matter of which detour is taken first. That way, even tho it seems like a lot of choices, it's cut down drastically by overlapping "inevitabilities". Plus, every "chapter" is only one page, and that's like the length (or less) of a lot of shorts you see here, which don't take that long to write I imagine (compared to full length chapter chapters I guess). And if it's a short story in all with a fairly straightforward plot, it's all the more doable.

I'm getting myself of worked up (in a positive way) over this I suppose because now I'm considering making SC2 a "traditional" CYOA story to decide who Hayate ends up with. :\ What might be easier is to make one main storyline and then add in choices at key "chapters" so that if they had made a different decision at this junction, a different choice would have been made. But... meh. Now I'm just rambling.

@Goose+BPHaru+Spellchecking Talk: I don't know if where you reign from has it, but Firefox browsers now come with spellcheckers for posts and since you posted it under the spoiler tab thingy, you could just scroll through it and doublecheck all the red-underlined words and that would likely help majorly. Firefox is free too~ And there's nothing wrong with OpenOffice spellchecking (tho I use MS word XP most of the time now). I use WordPad for SC2 (cuz it loads faster and I'm too lazy to wait for MS word XP)

Bah... more rambling...

@Peoples about Hayate/Fate/Nanoha storyline: pt. 3 will come sometime after I finish the next ch. of SC2 and make sure I'm still ahead for my studying for classes. :3

@ALL: Any other recent shorts you'd like to see continued while I'm at it? Speak now or forever hold your peace...

Devil!Nanoha is a good story, along with that HayaFate one too...

[Evangelion Xgouki]

Current standings for Divided Destiny:

A) II
B) I
C) IIIII

And one vote for D) Death of Nanoha and/or Fate by some cataclysmic disaster.

1.5 hours remaining.