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Old 2013-05-10, 22:47   Link #43061
ZeroXSEED
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Charles' identity is heavily related to the plot like Josh is (eliminating Laura is a nice side bonus tho), interested with spoiler?
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Old 2013-05-10, 22:50   Link #43062
demino_hellsin
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I wonder if tempest knows about my OTP with Chifuyu >.>

I'd assume Autumn is a better pilot as she has more live experience. Tate is good but she seems to be stuck on mockbattles and such. Even if you say live deployment I can't imagine her going on an actual mission or at least an equal number of live missions as Autumn has had.
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Old 2013-05-10, 22:56   Link #43063
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Then option C

We knew Tate mock the hell out of her in the fight. Point is, as good pilot Autumn is, her state of emotion made her unreliable pilot all the way. It say something when batshit insane M look like normal person compared to her.

She's berserker minion, an expensive niche toy to Squall.
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Old 2013-05-10, 23:00   Link #43064
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Then remove the whole "Byakushiki come back!" part. Ugh. That was really just the straw that broke the camel's back for me.

Basically Autumn had the core clutched in her hands. Then it basically wrenches itself out and goes back into the frame. Too super robotish for a series like this. Super robot series are usually only with 1 guy having the super robot. Everyone else has tanks and fighters.
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Old 2013-05-10, 23:05   Link #43065
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That's the point, I.S. are gundam-ified super robot from the get go, would fit rather well in SRW :/
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Old 2013-05-10, 23:18   Link #43066
demino_hellsin
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Ugh... Trying to be clever but giving up halfway is what such a thing gives off. Not mechs but plot devices.

I was thinking what would be the better way to show Byakushiki is still active despite the core being stolen. Autumn shoots at him but energy shield activates. Or ichika attacks to get the core back and instinctively powers up his IS.
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Old 2013-05-10, 23:20   Link #43067
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Use barrier void punch on autumn's face

Barrier void is dangerous only when there's something dangerous behind it

(Assuming it's not insta-gib punch ala Hokuto no Ken)
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Old 2013-05-10, 23:29   Link #43068
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A metal fist is plenty dangerous

Also changing Setsura to have a storage mode like the RX-0 Banshee's claw is good or not?
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Old 2013-05-10, 23:31   Link #43069
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Well, if Autumn's PIC active, it's still human punch against human face... mostly.

I don't know that unit, but I suppose anything is better than ridiculously oversized lobster claw.
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Old 2013-05-10, 23:48   Link #43070
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http://gundam.wikia.com/wiki/RX-0_Un...dam_02_Banshee

see in the gallery section

The Setsura would look like an oversized gauntlet over the hand. But when active is covers the whole left forearm. It can easily use its anti-shield particle beam and I-field type shield despite in storage mode. However the use of Setsura claw requires full deployment.
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Old 2013-05-11, 00:11   Link #43071
DarkJak2050
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Another one in the archive.

Infinite Stratos Fallen Angel
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Old 2013-05-11, 00:44   Link #43072
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Prologue way too long, well written (at least for me) but hard to digest.

22000 words... this is like a novella or hell, canon I.S. light novel twice over

We're talking about a chapter half as solid as harry potter books.
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Last edited by ZeroXSEED; 2013-05-11 at 01:02.
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Old 2013-05-11, 02:44   Link #43073
demino_hellsin
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But generally that's 22 pages. Maybe twice somewhat.
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Old 2013-05-11, 02:53   Link #43074
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Paragraph density is also a problem, y'now.
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Old 2013-05-11, 02:58   Link #43075
demino_hellsin
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So he doesn't pay attention to visual structure?
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Old 2013-05-11, 05:22   Link #43076
DarkJak2050
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What is your ideal max word count for a chapter?
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Old 2013-05-11, 05:23   Link #43077
demino_hellsin
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15k seems a sweet spot but that could change.. That is because I want to write on the level of a novel. But for regular fanfiction 5000 words should suffice.
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Old 2013-05-11, 05:43   Link #43078
DarkJak2050
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I just basically wrote for my fic. Didn't care about the word count. For Phase 1, it came out like this:

Phase 1-0 (Prologue): 4500+
Phase 1-1: 3300+
Phase 1-2: 5400+
Phase 1-3: 3400+
Phase 1-4: 5100+
Phase 1-5: 4900+
Phase 1-6: 7500+
Phase 1-7: 10600+
Phase 1-8: 10400+
Phase 1-9: 12600+
Phase 1-E (Epilogue): 2800+
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Old 2013-05-11, 05:51   Link #43079
demino_hellsin
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That's fine too. So long as you follow proper story flow. No padding though.
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Old 2013-05-11, 06:28   Link #43080
ZeroXSEED
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To be honest, word count is mostly for the comfort of writer and/or readers

For writer it's not mandatory, but for readers... most people can't sit too long and sometimes forgot which part they're at it again, this may leave them in anguish.

Remember 200 words per minute
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