General Questions Thread

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Konakaga

out of the 6 or 7 times I've gotten rep that's been neutral so far, all of them have been comment-less, so I wonder if that's just a coincidence then?

Well, either that or someone is creating accounts left and right to spam your rep, thinking that it's doing something

[Kotohono]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

Well, either that or someone is creating accounts left and right to spam your rep, thinking that it's doing something

Doubt it as most of them were months or weeks apart, though I somehow managed to get three this month . To ask what I meant before have any of you gotten neutral rep with a comment on it?

[Ledgem]

Originally Posted by Konakaga

To ask what I meant before have any of you gotten neutral rep with a comment on it?

Yes, I have.

[Kotohono]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

Yes, I have.

Thanks, then I guess it must just be coincidence for me.

[SaintessHeart]

Originally Posted by Ledgem

We can't know all of our flaws and weaknesses. If you've done introspection before (and having been through psychotherapy, you probably have) you're likely well aware of that, but I figured I'd mention it anyway.

It's true that others make quick, value-based judgments on others. Aren't you guilty of doing the same here?

It is biased thinking and it isn't a quick judgment on my part. They mistake pragmatism for reality when it is actually a mix between idealism AND pragmatism, then try to enforce it on others.

They expect to earn $3,000 per month with a degree, and expect all doors to be open for them. Being monetarily motivated to work isn't a good thing and should only be done in desperation (economic downturn). And of all sorts, it is a business degree and the local market is bloody saturated with it. Sure there may be opportunities, but they don't expect it to come with more strings attached.

For the same reasons why a brilliant geneticist (specialized biologist) might be completely lost or just average in another science, or even another area of biology. We like to talk of intelligence as being a blanket trait, and under some settings it may appear that way. Yet we're all different, all stimulated by different things, all thinking in slightly different ways, and all held back by our own unique problems. Why should one form of intelligence indicate that you'll be able to shine as a genius in all areas?

Beats me. I have seen people who can think and talk with my exact style (my former clique of friends before these two got promoted from "acquaintance" to "friend") do way better than me in life. Reasons given were "tied down to people" and "listening too much to idiots without backbones and hanging out with them".

I'd like to point out that you seem to have a recurring theme of feeling that others are trying to brainwash you or change you in a manner that makes you conform to society, and it seems to bother you quite a bit.

In my experience, people don't invoke "reality" to try and force you to change. There's nothing wrong with dreaming big, but the reminder of reality is there to keep you grounded and... well, realistic. It isn't a matter of forcing you to abandon your dreams, but a reminder of how difficult (and perhaps improbable) it might be for your dreams to come true. People should still work toward their dreams, but you don't want to see people having unrealistically high expectations and believing in them so much that they'll feel crushed and as if they're a failure if and when they realize that their dream is not 100% attainable.

Well their idea of reality is incredibly diluted : they are largely influenced by hearsays and rumors rather than doing their own research. Yeah, the price of oil didn't drop further upon the BP spill, PIGS have stabilised on the Euro bailout and "accounting" is a boring subject when actually for the first two, they are negative and the last one will allow you to read financial statements, and combined with knowledge of marcoeconomics, allow you to have a rational understanding of the stock market.

What annoys me more is that I meet more and more people like that in my school, for even for that matter, locally. Decent conversations don't exist anymore, and gossip seems to be the single largest topic they can talk about.

I think what you're describing is a case of you being less brilliant than you make yourself out to be, yet also being smarter than you give yourself credit for. You're not presenting research here, you're describing a case of a normal conversation. You may have some work to do in terms of relating to people and being better at communicating your thoughts. Also, give people a little more credit - they aren't the idiots you seem to be making them out to be.

I do have to give them a little credit for not being able to solve my inability to play some games on LAN emulators despite being computer experts and still levelling the "you don't own the game" and "of so many people, why can't you play there?" kind of insults on me.

In terms of making friends, it's very unlikely that anyone will share all of your interests. Having all hobbies and interests shared is not a requirement for friendship. We bond with people over a shared interest and/or value, and go from there. More that is shared in common can strengthen a bond, but not always. At the same time, you are exposed to new things through your friends, which may lead to new interests on your end.

Of course, people change over time, as do their interests and values. If interests and values change enough, it's possible for people to grow apart. There's nothing wrong with that.

Their interests are still the same : do well in school, get a job, etc. I tried to help them by warning them of another economic crisis at the end of this year and tell them to "brace for impact" after graduating, as the recovery will begin all over again (scarce job opportunities, savings/investment plans etc).

Yeah, accused of spouting bullshit again, then when it happens, they blame me for not telling them. It happened once when they are student leaders (I didn't get the position because of my middle school discipline records ) in high school, and I told them beforehand that mixing water with dry ice requires a proportion to have a sustained smoke effect for an investiture, or else the solid CO2 will form a layer of solid water on top preventing further reaction (quick-freezing reaction - chemistry).

Warning not heeded, accused of talking bullshit. When the event became a disaster, I was accused of not saying it and trying to take credit.

I had enough now.

Originally Posted by -KarumA-

I do hope though you do not use Japanese slings in normal conversations because even I would avoid you there, nothing personal though. Being friends with people does not have to mean you need to share every hobby and interest, all my friends do not watch anime or anything like that but we share other hobbies which I can talk to them about because some of my interest are not a big life overtaking part of who I am. Sometimes it is best to accept who and what other people do and think and based on similarities between them and you on those terms become friends. Dreams are great and all, but the most impossible dreams in this world can never become full reality the way people want it to be. Some people might be too blind to see it when others already can.
What does concern me is only hearing one side of the story, two friends are being mean to you but ever wonder why exactly? It is easy drawing a conclusion by yourself but as one of the involved it could be completely wrong, easy to do for another person as well but here we only see one side of the story told and not reality.

That's totally lame. I would never do that (unless to purposefully annoy someone, of course).

And I wish I knew why they are being totally mean. The lack of seriousness in my personal nature pretty hijacks most of it : sometimes I can spout something so critically logical and true without being serious about it, and can quickly change between seriousness to being carefree. If they have a problem with people who move fast, it would be problem for them. So why are they wanting to force a change upon me when they have a problem with people who think differently?

For example, here is a case in which they lack simple logic - we are discussing about a female classmate who opened a blogshop and wanted to make it big. He claims the business model will never work and take off, and says that most of this kind of businesses fail. Instead of studying solely why these kind of businesses fail, why doesn't he compare and contrast with those that succeed?

This is called one-sided logic and he claims to be reality. What total bullshit.

[risingstar3110]

Silly question # 1031:
For men (of course), does hair (on your head) and beard have similar growing rate?

And for your answer, no i made up that number. Of course i didn't count that....

[dragon4dudes]

^I don't think so? Head hair does grow faster earlier in life. Maybe facial hair does become faster over time because it's removed more often but I'm not sure. Hair growth rate does change with the number of times its cut/shaved.

[felix]

Originally Posted by risingstar3110

Silly question # 1031:
For men (of course), does hair (on your head) and beard have similar growing rate?[/SIZE]

No, it doesn't but growth of face hair does accelerate with age.

[-KarumA-]

Originally Posted by risingstar3110

Silly question # 1031:
For men (of course), does hair (on your head) and beard have similar growing rate?

And for your answer, no i made up that number. Of course i didn't count that....

otherwise men would have to shave not only their beards on a regular basic but also their hair after a couple weeks

[MeoTwister5]

Is there such a thing as "being too nice?"

All of my friends for almost 10 years tell me I am, and some say it's one of the reasons I'm still single. I've given it a lot of thought but I don't think I really understood what they meant because that's... well that's really who I am and who I like being. I rarely get angry if ever and I've never really harbored any hatred for anybody.

[Kotohono]

Originally Posted by MeoTwister5

Is there such a thing as "being too nice?"

All of my friends for almost 10 years tell me I am, and some say it's one of the reasons I'm still single. I've given it a lot of thought but I don't think I really understood what they meant because that's... well that's really who I am and who I like being. I rarely get angry if ever and I've never really harbored any hatred for anybody.

I don't think there is unless you're forcing yourself to always be nice, or you're nice to the point where you ignore your own feelings, desires, or well being. And it doesn't sound like you do that, so you're fine, and I don't really think that would be a reason you're single.

[Larthak]

Originally Posted by MeoTwister5

Is there such a thing as "being too nice?"

All of my friends for almost 10 years tell me I am, and some say it's one of the reasons I'm still single. I've given it a lot of thought but I don't think I really understood what they meant because that's... well that's really who I am and who I like being. I rarely get angry if ever and I've never really harbored any hatred for anybody.

People aren't used to kindness anymore. Generally, we have become sceptical, cautious, hiding our feelings most of the time...basically, we're taught that betrayal or lies are a common thing. So when a person is nice, people don't believe that, calling it a facade, they don't understand why you'd be nice in this harsh, corrupt world.

But hey, some people can get pretty pleasantly surprised by this. Being a kind person is a virtue, not a curse. If there is anyone who'd not want you for being "too nice", they're just foolish and hardly worthy of your effort anyway. Too bad there are also people who abuse this to hurt you.

[ChainLegacy]

Originally Posted by MeoTwister5

Is there such a thing as "being too nice?"

All of my friends for almost 10 years tell me I am, and some say it's one of the reasons I'm still single. I've given it a lot of thought but I don't think I really understood what they meant because that's... well that's really who I am and who I like being. I rarely get angry if ever and I've never really harbored any hatred for anybody.

You can't be too nice, but try to balance your kind-hearted nature with your own wants/desires. I'm not saying you don't already do this, but usually when people say things like 'too nice' they mean someone who lets people walk all over them.

[dragon4dudes]

It's pretty difficult to know when someone is really faking kindness or are really genuinely being kind. However, in general, just be nice back. And being "too nice" in itself isn't a bad thing, it just makes the receiver of the kindness feel awkward. Not everyone is used to kindness in this world.

[felix]

Excessive kindness usually means that someone wants something from you. You are all too naive.

[Vexx]

Originally Posted by MeoTwister5

Is there such a thing as "being too nice?"

All of my friends for almost 10 years tell me I am, and some say it's one of the reasons I'm still single. I've given it a lot of thought but I don't think I really understood what they meant because that's... well that's really who I am and who I like being. I rarely get angry if ever and I've never really harbored any hatred for anybody.

I'm wondering if they're saying obliquely that they think you let people "run over you" because they think you're too accommodating. I'm not asserting that... but I've heard "too nice" used as a label for people the speaker thinks is too passive.

[MeoTwister5]

I guess I should have explained a bit better. By being too nice they mean that I almost always give people the benefit of the doubt even in serious situations, that I'm willing to be more accommodating than the usual person, that I always try to treat people with civility even in the more hostile of situations and that I tend to have neutral stance on arguments to try and get both sides to calm down.

Not to the extent of course of letting people walk all over me as I learned that the hard way a long time ago. I'm guessing their point is that I lack a bit of... assertion and aggression, so to speak.

[Vexx]

Originally Posted by MeoTwister5

I guess I should have explained a bit better. By being too nice they mean that I almost always give people the benefit of the doubt even in serious situations, that I'm willing to be more accommodating than the usual person, that I always try to treat people with civility even in the more hostile of situations and that I tend to have neutral stance on arguments to try and get both sides to calm down.

Not to the extent of course of letting people walk all over me as I learned that the hard way a long time ago. I'm guessing their point is that I lack a bit of... assertion and aggression, so to speak.

Ah, I see. No, that's a perfectly fine behavior... its just zen and a desire for harmony. I wish more people were like that. I've spent a lot of years working on that level of centered grounded mind ... but every so often I ignite from exasperation.

[Larthak]

Originally Posted by felix

Excessive kindness usually means that someone wants something from you. You are all too naive.

If I were to take this personally, I'd be pretty upset now. I guess it's meant as a half-joke, isn't it? Some people use this to make tools of people, but some != everyone. And it's not about excessive kindness, rather a stable one...one that is offered no matter who you talk to (unless that certain person is a real prick), as pointed out below.

Originally Posted by MeoTwister5

I guess I should have explained a bit better. By being too nice they mean that I almost always give people the benefit of the doubt even in serious situations, that I'm willing to be more accommodating than the usual person, that I always try to treat people with civility even in the more hostile of situations and that I tend to have neutral stance on arguments to try and get both sides to calm down.

Not to the extent of course of letting people walk all over me as I learned that the hard way a long time ago. I'm guessing their point is that I lack a bit of... assertion and aggression, so to speak.

Our similarity is almost scary...including the whole second paragraph, sadly enough. But it's nice to know someone else aspires to similar "ways of life" or however I could call it, so that it doesn't sound corny.

Anyway, the big question is; do you like being yourself that you are now, or would you rather change your personality (or imitate this change) to look better in front of your friends? I know I couldn't and I made my friends realize that, even though it took quite a few years.

Simply don't think of it as a problem, since it isn't one. It's just a different human nature that's harder to understand nowadays.

[Frailty]

I've checked every image hosting sites I know but I still can't find them original image of this avatar:



I just saw the avatar in google

it's Sync from Tales of the abyss and I wanna make a sig out of it if there's an original pic

I just wanna know if you guys have the original image
if not, a good site to search for?

i've tried photobucket, danbooru, safebooru, sankaku-chan, the TotA image thread and deviantart
:<

sorry, just desperate to make a new sig