The SOS Brigade clubroom looked a little different today. Everyone was seated around the large table in the middle of the room, and the clatter of plastic on wood was the accompaniment to the conversation, more excited than usual.
"Mitsuru-kun, just put all the points in here! It doesn't matter if the others aren't good, you're only going to need this one stat anyway!"
"Um, but what if-"
"Just do it!"
"Oi, Haruki," I called out from the other side of the table, "why don't you just let Asahina-sempai make his own character his way? None of us were bugging you when you created yours, were we?"
"But everyone's so slow!" Haruki whined. "I want to start now!"
"To be fair," Itsuko said smoothly, "the Wizard class is one of the most time-consuming to prepare." She smiled prettily from behind her cardboard screen. "If Asahina-san so wishes, I would be happy to assist him."
"Oh, um, that's all right," Asahina-sempai said hurriedly. He quickly bowed his head in concentration, and started writing carefully on his character sheet.
"Aaah," Haruki said, leaning back in his chair. "If I'd known how long it would take to play this game, I wouldn't have agreed to try it out."
"It can't be helped," I snapped at him. "We're all beginners here, so something like this is bound to happen. Just be patient, and we'll get to play in a while."
Haruki pouted, but remained silent. He had chosen what the rulebook had called a "paladin", and was the first to finish writing down all the stats and numbers. I didn't doubt that when we actually got to play, he'd be winning every imaginary battle we'd be going up against.
"That is a very real possibility," Itsuko said. "Suzumiya-san certainly has the ability to alter something as simple as probability in terms of a dice roll, and any particularly fortuitous results can easily be attributed to random chance. Even so, this game does not have winners or losers in the traditional sense, so there should not be any great disruption to our collective enjoyment."
"If nobody wins or loses, then what's the point?"
"Why, to be a part of a fantastic story, of course."
I've had enough of fantastic stories to last me the rest of my life. In fact, I'd rather not be part of any more fantastic stories, so that I can have the rest of my life.
"Leave it to me," Itsuko said cheerfully. "If there are any complications arising from Suzumiya's participation in this activity, Nagato-san and I will surely be able to deal with it with a minimum of fuss."
If only I had even ten milligrams of your confidence.
I slid my eyes over to the silent member of our SOS Brigade, who was staring at the strange shapes on the table with a blank expression. I kind of know how Nagato feels, since up until today, the word "dice" only meant the six-sided cubes with numbers on their faces, but Itsuko had brought a set of strange polyhedrals which she said were also "dice". As I watched, Nagato mechanically picked up one of the twenty-sided ones, and dropped it from a short distance off the table. Were you expecting that result, Nagato? Please move your face once in a while so others know what you're thinking.
"There is a negligible discrepancy in the probability function for this die," he said in his monotone. "The chances of the die landing on any one side does not exactly meet five percent."
Itsuko shrugged. "Humans cannot manufacture perfect dice, but the bias is easily dismissable for a leisure activity." Nagato nodded; unfortunately, I have no idea what you just said, so I can't join in the agreement. "Have you finished your character?"
Nagato wordlessly passed his character sheet towards Itsuko. He had chosen to be a "rogue", which was something like a thief type, if I remembered the rulebook correctly. I didn't think it suited his personality, but he had homed in on it to the exclusion of all else, earlier. Maybe he chose it because it was a silent class, which didn't need him to talk much.
Meanwhile, Haruki had gone back to pestering Asahina-sempai, who was manfully bearing up under the pressure. I don't care if you're a chosen champion of the gods, if you complain that the game's taking too long to start even after all your interference, this "fighter" here is going to beat some sense into your helmeted skull.
"What about yourself?" Itsuko asked me.
"This class doesn't seem too complicated," I said. "I just run in and hit things, right?"
"In a manner of speaking. Do note, however, that as in video games, it is essential to have well-defined roles for certain important aspects. You, as a Fighter, will bear the main brunt of the enemy attacks, while Asahina-san will be casting his damaging spells. The third important role, that of healing, is assigned to Suzumiya-san. It will be his job to make sure that the rest of the party are in fighting condition at all times."
"Haruki? He's going to want to be the leader, and charge in recklessly as usual anyway."
"Then it would be the Fighter's responsibility to make sure that the Rogue and Wizard are safe, wouldn't it?"
I sighed.
"Would you like to reconsider your choice of class?"
"Never mind. Just hand me that rulebook again."