Dating

[Cipher]

Originally Posted by Narona

It's better to be alone than in bad company.

Disagreed. A man ( or woman ) determines her/himself not his/her company. For example, a person living in a dangerous place does not mean a dangerous person. Although there are "tendencies", nonetheless, in the end, it is the individual that decides.

Furthermore, to be alone is to not have the opportunity of mental discipline and experience. Thus, IMO, its better to be in any company than alone----we are, yes, social-needing beings. And just like food, we need company---doesn't matter about the taste, as long as its edible.


("'Bad' company" can be translated into different types though I see what you mean.)

[RadiantBeam]

Originally Posted by DragoZERO

That is painful. I bet he learned his lesson.

It is incredibly painful. I experienced it myself with one of my guy friends, although the situation itself was rather complicated.

Moral of the story: If you like someone, confess. At the very least, you can get some closure for your feelings even if you're rejected and just remain friends.

[Timdog]

Well that didn't work out how I planned. I was going to have lunch with the girl like we usually do every monday. As I was waiting in line at the dining hall, I saw one of our good mutual friends that we both hadn't seen in awhile and asked him if he wanted to sit with us. Moments later, I realized what I had just done and did the biggest facepalm I ever have.

Needless to say, no confessing today. And I'm starting to think it might be better to just ask her for help with finding a girl since I do like her but I think I'm only obsessing because I'm obsessed with the issue in general.

[DragoZERO]

Originally Posted by Timdog

Well that didn't work out how I planned. I was going to have lunch with the girl like we usually do every monday. As I was waiting in line at the dining hall, I saw one of our good mutual friends that we both hadn't seen in awhile and asked him if he wanted to sit with us. Moments later, I realized what I had just done and did the biggest facepalm I ever have.

You just used the friend as an excuse.

Needless to say, no confessing today. And I'm starting to think it might be better to just ask her for help with finding a girl since I do like her but I think I'm only obsessing because I'm obsessed with the issue in general.

I've been there. You have to figure out if your feelings are true. But don't ask her for help with that, that'd be a bad move. Try and keep the relationship on the fence to keep your options open, you know? lol.

[Kakashi]

Originally Posted by Timdog

I already know the answer to these questions: I feel like I'm below everyone since not a SINGLE person has EVER saw me as more than just a friend (lots of people see me as a friend but never anything more).

The only reason you get that impression is because girls aren't easy to read. Even the best looking guy I know went for years not getting any noticeable attention from girls until he started to take the initiative. It's all about how you approach it, if you're relaxed about it and don't make this about your worth as a person, things will start to fall in place.

I mean you must have some desirable characteristics since you seem to have plenty of friends, and you shouldn't take them for granted either, some people have trouble with it.

Originally Posted by Timdog

Needless to say, no confessing today. And I'm starting to think it might be better to just ask her for help with finding a girl since I do like her but I think I'm only obsessing because I'm obsessed with the issue in general.

Now you're thinking right.

[Crusader]

Okay I took the advice i was given and told this girl how i felt about her. we are work buddies, and we hardly talk about personal stuff usually making fun of our current work mishap of the day or some of the silly predicaments that unfold. I pretended not to like her for weeks, but at the same time i felt there was some chemistry. At the same time i try to be mr professional and all but i had grown to really like her. I'm aware there is a man in the picture but i told her how i felt.

My best friend told her that i liked her, from what im guessing seeing how i only told him. Anyway i told her how it was akward for me to act like i didn't car about her, and that i felt likea creepy pervert for not saying something sooner. She told me she knew but i just found out my Friend told her. She went on to tell me that she was seeing someone. (which i knew) She said it shouldn't be akward (which it is), and we are friends and some other stuff, but i got distracted and didn't hear the rest.

There is some chemistry im sure of it, but my question is "what now?" Should i wait or should i forget about her(impossible). I have some strong feelings here and im not ready to let it go. Further more, i didn't feel sad when she told me that she was seeing someone, i mean i have known this, but now i feel so sad or maybe pathetic. How do i not feel so sad?

[DragoZERO]

Originally Posted by Crusader

There is some chemistry im sure of it, but my question is "what now?" Should i wait or should i forget about her(impossible). I have some strong feelings here and im not ready to let it go. Further more, i didn't feel sad when she told me that she was seeing someone, i mean i have known this, but now i feel so sad or maybe pathetic. How do i not feel so sad?

It depends. What is her relationship with the guy? Been seeing him for a while? Just started dating? This can be a very tricky situation. Also, how old are you guys?

[Crusader]

I'm 22 and she's 23. I have no idea of how long they have been together.

[Alchemist007]

You try to talk more to her now. If/when she breaks up you can be there.

[Crusader]

I see what you're saying, sort of feels like i'm living a part of a soap opera, surreal even. I just hope i don't get to emotionally on the hinge.

[DragoZERO]

First off, I'd like to say, and am ashamed to, that I was with a girl (2nd base only) last summer who already had a boyfriend going on two years or so. The guy was a jerk and I was the nice guy at work (boss' son too, talk about touchy situation) who she happened to fall for. She made all the first moves but in the end she chose him. I was just the crutch for the time when he was being a jerk and neglecting her. I moved on and hhe dumped her this past spring and now she's alone, so yeah.

Originally Posted by Crusader

I'm 22 and she's 23. I have no idea of how long they have been together.

See if your mutual friend can find out in a casual manner. If they have been going out for a whlie and things are good, go elsewhere. But if they just started and things are on the fence, hang out a bit. BUT, if she does break up, you give her plenty of time to get over him, even if it takes months. The last thing you want to listen to her talk about him, trust me on that one.

Originally Posted by Alchemist007

You try to talk more to her now. If/when she breaks up you can be there.

I'm going to disagree a little. *ahem*

1. If you get too involved now you may cross the point of no return and become too much of a friend.
2. You don't want to be there for her too much if and when they break up otherwise you'll become the rebound, and like the sport counterpart, they don't last long.
3. It'll tear your heart out to hear about the good times she is having with her current boyfriend.
4. You may miss out on other opportunities, you know the saying "there's plenty of fish in the sea."

Originally Posted by Crusader

I see what you're saying, sort of feels like i'm living a part of a soap opera, surreal even. I just hope i don't get to emotionally on the hinge.

I say keep the relationship you have with her the same, just talk at work and look else where. You'll get over her in time. I say that because unlike soap operas and romance stories, you are not the protagonist who wins the girl in the end.

[Bad Romance]

Originally Posted by Fome

Ever feel like the girl/guy you like is way out of your league?

That's what i thought.

I can't believe she said yes, and without hesitation.

I'm the happiest guy alive.

Yes, i'm being a stupid romantic.

Congratulations, yes I know I'm a few years late.


I'm currently single, and fabolous. I was in a relationship which lasted about 3 years, but we broke up. Oh well, plenty of more fish in the sea.

[Alchemist007]

I don't believe in the 'too much of a friend' thing tbh. Or completely despise those who do use that excuse.

[rabbitking]

This is the most depressing topic I've seen. So much that I'm unable to get myself to read the first post.

[Crusader]

The too much of a friend thing is possible, but we never have those convesations, aside from her having my back in one of my job related duplicious activities, the deepest conversation we ever had was which is better CSI:Miami or NCIS classic. I'm an CSI supporter, but i digress.

[Alchemist007]

I'll rephrase that to include "if she knows your intentions."

[Crusader]

Originally Posted by Alchemist007

I'll rephrase that to include "if she knows your intentions."

Well apparantly, she has known for some time thanks to a Friend, I won't know how things will be until wednesday. Not to mention i didn't have time to make my big reveal until i was leaving, thanks to unmitigatted(no sure of spelling) circustances.

[whitepearl]

Originally Posted by Narona

It's better to be alone than in bad company.

Sound advice that I have been following unknowingly for a long time...

[Tsuyoshi]

Maybe I'm overthinking here but play with me. So I'm into my second week in my new job (which hopefully isn't gonna last considering how much I hate the place), and there's something I couldn't help noticing. This girl in our team was given the role of training the new people on the team, which was just two of us. Me and the other guy have been going with her to some of her lessons, for lack of better terminology, so she could show us the ropes about some things related to work and what terms some of the brokers we get in contact with will use. A lot of times, while she's explaining things, 80% of the time she's looking at me and the rest of the time at the other guy.

Like I said, I'm likely overthinking this but can it be she might have some interest in me? I know it sounds insane since it could be the other way and hates the other guy but that's definitely not true. The girl herself is a really nice person to talk to although we haven't really gotten much of a chance to talk to each other informally except for once, hardly a chance to get to know each other better on a more personal level. And the fact we only know each other for work and that it's been such a short time makes it even harder. Anyways, I'm thinking, since I have to see her again one last time (without the other guy there in fact), maybe I should take a chance to get to know her better and see how that goes.

Thoughts anyone?

And yes, this is the first time I post here to talk about my own situation

[RadiantBeam]

I say take the chance and talk to her about it. You seem to be getting some signals that indicate she likes you, so ask her about it. Even if you turn out to be wrong, at least you've cleared it up.